Simeon Strunsky

“ On our side are all the honest men. Against us are all the thieves. We need only win forty of them over to our side and the battle is ours."
Alice thought that was rather strange tactics, but she said nothing. She gazed with admiration at the Red Knight. He was resplendent in a new suit of armour fashioned out of lithographed photographs of Abraham Lincoln. From his helmet fluttered a copy of the Declaration of the Rights of Man. In his right hand he held a copy of Magna Charta, and with the left he waved aloft one of the Harvester's fattest checkbooks. ”

“ The man in the bathing suit immediately broke into tears. "I was only fooling," he sobbed. "But you can't fool all of the people all of the time. Can you now?" he said, turning to the Red Knight.
"You don't have to," said the Red Knight, to himself. "A good many Progressives expect to be elected to the United States Senate." ”

“ I don't suppose you have ever met them before, have you?"
"I never have," said Alice. "I am only eight, you know, and Mamma says I must be seventeen before I go out in mixed company."
"Then I must introduce you," said the Red Knight. "The small man in armor is George the Harvester. We call him that because he thinks he [Pg 15] can sow money and reap delegates. He just loves the people. And he is so modest that the people don't even suspect it. A good man, the Harvester, and as true as United States Steel." ”

“ The Red Knight took out a large document printed on heavy parchment. At the top was an eagle with outstretched wings, and Alice could read the first line. "We, the people of the United States, in order—" Borrowing Alice's scissors, he snipped the paper up in little bands and squares. These he first threw up in the air. Then he ran them through his fingers. Then he crumpled them up, threw them on the floor and jumped upon them.
[Pg 19]
"Change and exercise are good for the Constitution, you know," said the Comic Editor. ”

“ He got his title from his willingness to round up Southern delegates for any candidate, bar none. He is the most unprejudiced man I know. The last man on the left, in a uniform of colored frontispieces is Frank the Publisher. He is always in high spirits because his circulation is so good. Have you ever seen a more impressive lot of men?"
Alice couldn't honestly say that she had. So the Red Knight gave the signal and the convincible army started out. ”

“ It was so tall that millionaires living on the top floor were in the habit of swearing off their taxes, on the plea of non-residence in the State of Illinois. They entered the elevator, and by and by they reached the floor on which their rooms were situated. As they opened the door, the first thing they saw was George the Harvester and Ormsby the Barrister weeping in each other's arms, and wiping each other's eyes [Pg 33] with bundles of rejected credentials.
At the sight of the Barrister the Red Knight showed no anger. He merely took off his helmet and threw it at the bellboy. ”

“ The tall, thin man, next to him is Gifford the Forester, so-called because he is frequently up a tree. He is a nice fellow, but not practical enough. I sometimes wonder whether he belongs with the rest of my Field-Marshals. ”

“ The Red Knight vanished. She was home again, home in the dear old room with the big reading lamp on the table, and mamma busy with the baby's things, and father asleep over a copy of the Aldrich Monetary Report.
"Oh mamma," she cried.
"What is it, Alice?" said her mother.
"I have such a headache, mamma. I have been in politics."
By the Same Author THE PATIENT OBSERVER Light Studies in Everyday Life Reprinted from The Evening Post
The charming series of essays which have attracted many readers to the New York Evening Post, are here to be found in a bound volume. ”