Voltaire

“ What we are hunting after, Sir, is an Animal, that will not suffer itself to be touch’d by a Man. ’Tis somewhat surprizing, said Zadig. May I be so bold, pray, as to ask you what you are in Pursuit after, that shuns the Touch of any Thing but the Hands of the Fair Sex. ’Tis, Sir, said she, the Basilisk: A Basilisk, Madam, said he! And pray, if you will be so good as to inform me, with what View, are you searching after a Creature so very difficult to be met with? ’Tis, Sir, said she, for our Lord and Master Ogul, whose Castle, you see, situate on the River-side, at the Bottom of the Meadow. ”

“ Fly, said she, Dear Zadig, this very Moment; for your Life’s in the utmost Danger: Fly, Dear Zadig, I conjure you, in the Name of that fatal Passion, with which I have long struggled, and which I now venture to discover, [75] as I am to make Atonement for it, in a few Moments, by the Loss of my Life. Tho’ I am conscious to myself of my Innocence, I find I am to feel the Weight of my Husband’s Resentment, and die the Death of a Traitor.
Zadig was scarce able to speak. He order’d his Friend Cador to be instantly call’d, and gave him the Letter the Moment he came, without opening his Lips. ”

“ Setoc, who would never stir out without his Bosom-Friend (in whom alone, as he thought, all Wisdom center’d) resolv’d to take him with him to Balzora Fair, whither the richest Merchants round the whole habitable Globe, us’d annually to resort. Zadig was delighted to see such a Concourse of substantial Tradesmen from all Countries, assembled together in one Place. It appear’d to him, as if the whole Universe was but one large Family, and all happily met together at Balzora. ”

“ You are more indebted, said Zadig, to the Waters of the Red Sea, which transport so many valuable Commodities into the Indies. Why, pray, may not [102] they be deem’d as antient as the Stars? And if you are so fond of paying your Adoration on Account of their vast Distance; why don’t you adore the Land of the Gangarides, which lies in the utmost Extremities of the Earth. No, said Setoc, there is something so surprisingly more brilliant in the Stars than what you speak of; that a Man must adore them whether he will or not. ”

“ Young as Zadig was, he was constituted chief Judge of all the Tribunals throughout the Empire. He fill’d the Place, like one, whom the Gods had endow’d with the strictest Justice, and the most solid Wisdom. It was to him, the Nations round about were indebted for that generous Maxim; that ’tis much more Prudence to acquit two Persons, tho’ actually guilty, than to pass Sentence of Condemnation in one that is virtuous and innocent. ”

“ From that Day forward, Zadig ever distinguish’d and preferr’d good, before learned Company: He associated with the most conversible Men, and the most amiable Ladies in all Babylon; he made elegant Entertainments, which were frequently preceded by a Concert of Musick, and enliven’d by the most facetious Conversation, in which, as he had felt the Smart of it, he had laid aside all Thoughts of shewing his Wit, which is not only the surest Proof that a Man has none, but the most infallible Means to spoil all good Company. ”

“ Zadig spent the Remainder of the Night in deep Contemplation, and in all the Uneasiness of Mind imaginable. What, said he, the [145] King first became crazy, and then was murder’d. I think I have just Grounds for Complaint. The whole Empire is in Confusion, and torn to Pieces, and this Free-booter is as happy as a King. O Fortune! O Fate! a Highwayman as happy as a Monarch! and the most amiable Creature that Nature ever fram’d has suffer’d perhaps, an ignominious Death, or perhaps, is in a State of Life a thousand Times worse than Death itself! O Astarte! Astarte! What art thou become? ”

“ But, said Zadig, Suppose the World was all Goodness, and there was no such Thing in Nature as Evil. Then, that World of yours, said Jesrad, would be another World; the Chain of Events would be another Wisdom; and that other Order, which would be perfect, must of Necessity be the everlasting Residence of the supreme Being, whom no Evil can approach. That great and first Cause has created an infinite Number of Worlds, and no two of them alike. ”

“ Now, Sir, said Zadig, I’ll be ingenuous with you, and disclose to you the important Secret. You have play’d at Foot-ball these eight Days successively; and you have liv’d all that Time, within the Bounds of Sobriety and Moderation. Know, Sir, that there is no such Animal in Nature as a Basilisk; that Health is to be secur’d by Temperance and Exercise ”

“ As all the costly Jewels, and other valuable Decorations, in which every young Widow that sacrificed her self on her Husband’s Funeral-pile, were their customary Fees, ’tis no great Wonder, indeed, that they were inclin’d to burn poor Zadig, for playing them such a scurvy Trick. ”

“ And, by arguing seriously with Setoc for some Time, he forc’d from him at last, an ingenuous Confession, that the barbarous Custom then subsisting, ought, if possible, to be abolish’d. ’Tis now, replied Setoc, above a thousand Years since the Widows [106] of Arabia have been indulg’d with this Privilege of dying with their Husbands; and how shall any one dare to abrogate a Law that has been establish’d Time out of Mind? Is there any Thing more inviolable than even an antient Error? But, replied Zadig, Reason is of more antient Date than the Custom you plead for. ”

“ Alas! said he, Friend, I am a hundred Times more unhappy than thou art. But pray, Sir, said the good Man, how can it possibly be, [158] that he, who is so lavish of his Favours, should be overwhelm’d with greater Misfortunes than the Man he so generously relieves? Your greatest Uneasiness, said he, arose from the Narrowness of your Circumstances; but mine proceeds from an internal, and much deeper Cause. Pray, Sir, said the Fisherman, has Orcan robb’d you of your Wife? This Interrogatory put Zadig in a Moment upon a Retrospection of all his past Adventures. ”

“ Jesrad, replied, had he been virtuous, and had he liv’d, ’twas his Fate not only to be murder’d himself, but his Wife, whom he would afterwards have married, and the little Infant, that was to have been the Pledge of their mutual Affection. Is it necessary then, venerable Guide, that there should be Wickedness and Misfortunes in the World, and that those Misfortunes should fall with Weight on the Heads of the Righteous? The Wicked, replied Jesrad, are always unhappy. ”

“ I keep none of them for my Part; and as to such as are handsomer than ordinary, I make the best Market I can of them, without enquiring who they are. Their Quality or Titles will fetch no Price at all; a Queen, if she be homely, is worth nothing. ’Tis probable, Sir, I have dispos’d of the Lady myself; and ’tis possible, likewise, she may be dead; ’tis no Concern of [144] mine; and to my thinking, it should be an Affair of no Manner of Importance to you. After this Declaration, he drank so hard, and confounded his Ideas in such a Manner, that Zadig was not one whit the wiser. ”

“ My Conscience is my Accuser, and I am terribly afraid I have been guilty of a mortal Sin, by declining the stated Custom of burning my self on my Husband’s Funeral-pile? What could tempt me, in short, to a Prolongation of my Life, I can’t imagine, I, who am grown a perfect Skeleton, all wrinkled and deform’d. ”

“ Zadig steer’d his Course towards Syria; forever pondering on the hard Fate of the justly-admir’d Astarte, and reflecting on his own Stars that so obstinately [134] darted down their malignant Rays, and continu’d daily to torment him. What, said he! to pay four hundred Ounces of Gold for only seeing a Bitch pass by me; to be condemn’d to be beheaded for four witless Verses in Praise of the King; to be strangled to Death, because a Queen was pleas’d to look upon me; to be made a Prisoner, and sold as a Slave for saving a young Lady from being sorely abus’d by a Brute rather than a Man ”

“ The Passions carry along with them such strong Impressions, that they cannot be conceal’d. Tell me ingenuously Zadig; and be your own Accuser, whether or no, since I have made this Discovery, the King has not shewn some visible Marks of his Resentment. He has no other Foible, but that of being the most jealous Mortal breathing. You take more Pains to check the Violence of your Passion, than the Queen herself does; because you are a Philosopher; because, in short, you are Zadig; Astarte is but a weak Woman; [69] and tho’ her Eyes speak too visibly, and with too much Imprudence ”

“ Sire, said Zadig, ’tis your Majesty alone, that deserves the Cup; ’tis you alone who have done an Action of Generosity, never heard of before; since you, who are King of Kings, wasn’t exasperated against your Slave, when he contradicted you in the Heat of your Passion. Every Body gaz’d with Eyes of Admiration on the King and Zadig. The Judge, who had generously made Restitution for his Error; the Lover, who had married his Mistress to his Friend; [52] the Soldier, who had preferr’d the Welfare of his Mother to that of his Mistress ”

“ I here present you with a Translation of the Work of an ancient Sage, who having the Happiness of living free from all Avocations, thought proper, by Way of Amusement, to write the History of Zadig; a Performance, that comprehends in it more Instruction than, ’tis possible, you may at first be aware of. I beg you would indulge me so far [iii] as to read it over, and then pass your impartial Judgment upon it: For notwithstanding you are in the Bloom of your Life; tho’ ev’ry Pleasure courts you; tho’ you are Nature’s Darling, and have internal Qualities in proportion to your Beauty ”

“ When two Men defend themselves against a whole Gang, the Contest, doubtless, cannot last long. The Master of the Castle, one Arbogad by Name, having been an Eye-Witness from his Window, of the Intrepidity and surprising Exploits of Zadig, took a Fancy to him. He ran down therefore in Haste, and giving Orders himself to his Vassals to desist, deliver’d the two Travellers out of their Hands. Whatever Goods or Chattels, said he, come upon my Territories, are my Effects; and whatever I find likewise that is valuable upon the Premises of others, is my free Booty ”

“ Besides, you cannot justly boast of so illustrious an Origin, and you are both of you mere Moderns, in Comparison to us Chaldeans, You Egyptians lay claim to no more than 135,000 Years, and you Indians, but of 80,000. Whereas we have Almanacks that are dated 4000 Centuries backwards. Take my Word for it; I speak nothing but Truth; renounce your Errors, and I’ll make each of you a Present of a fine Portrait of our Oannés. ”

“ Why are you thus cast down, said Zadig to the Fisherman? Never sink Man, under the Weight of your Burden. I can’t help it, said the poor Fisherman; I have not the least Prospect of Redress. I was once, Sir, the tip-top Man of the whole Village of Derlbach, near Babylon, where I liv’d, and with the Help of my Wife, made the best Cream-Cheeses that were ever eaten in the Persian Empire. Her Majesty, the Queen Astarte, and the famous Prime-Minister Zadig were very fond of them. I serv’d the Court with about six Hundred of them, I went the other Day in Hopes of being paid ”

“ As Zadig had met with such a Series of Misfortunes, he was determin’d to ease the Weight of them by the Study of Philosophy, and the Conversation of select Friends. He was still possess’d of a little pretty Box in the Out-parts of Babylon, which was furnish’d in a good Taste; where every Artist was welcome, and wherein he enjoy’d all the rational Pleasures that a virtuous Man could well wish for. ”

“ I perceive, Madam, said he, you was excessively fond of your deceased Spouse. Not I truly, reply’d the young Arabian Devotee. He was a Brute, infected with a groundless Jealousy of my Virtue; and, in short, a perfect Tyrant. But, notwithstanding all this, I am determin’d to comply with our Custom. Surely then, Madam, there’s a Sort of secret Pleasure in being burnt alive. Alas! with a Sigh, cried Almona, ’tis a Shock indeed to Nature; but must be complied with for all that. I am a profess’d Devotee, and should I shew the least Reluctance, my Reputation would [108] be lost for ever ”