W. Pett Ridge

“ You can take in lot of riverside men, but you can't take in ol' Bill Rich'son. If you can get over ol' Bill Rich'son there's only one more——'
With a back-handed blow he knocked the tipsy waterman from his seat into the bottom of the boat. Taking the oars clumsily, for he had rarely in his life tried to row, he began to pull, abrading his knuckles with the handles. Away on the Kentish shore there were lights now at the stairs which he had left—lights which moved as though carried: some of them gave the small, vague, circular light of a bull's-eye lantern. ”

“ An excellent man Mayer, seated now at his window, the blinds up and the gas alight, so that all the world in swishing home through the pelting rain might glance up and note that here at any rate was a house free from guile and a man abhorring secrecy. Mr. Mayer, in tasselled smoking-cap, read the evening paper, looking down now and again from his first floor at the rain-peppered roadway when a skirt uplifted recklessly flew along. ”

“ Similarly, when the wind discovered a silk hat on the top of a smart young man carrying a bunch of flowers and an open umbrella, it turned the umbrella inside out, despatched the silk hat for a sail in the middle of the roadway where the puddles seemed deepest, and the rain then came down on the dismayed bare-headed youth, taking the scent from his hair and the starch from his collar, thus ruining all his chances of a happy married future. ”

“ Once he reached the other side he would do the first thing occurring to him that would put a greater distance between himself and them; that done be could sit down and get his breath and think. Meanwhile, curse Mother Fayres for a wicked spiteful, evil-headed old woman! ”

“ They emerged from the tunnel. It was low tide on the river, and the boats lay high and dry—as dry as they could under the relentless, persistent downpour. Alfred took the waterman's arm, and hurried him down the stone stairs.
'Dem fine women,' he answered.
'I'm perfec' slave,' declared the waterman, stumbling on the gravel and seizing the first boat that he fell against—'lend 'and with this bl' boat—I'm perfec' slave, as I was sayin' when you int'rupted—perfec' slave where female beauty's concerned.'
'We all are,' said Alfred. ”