W. S. Gilbert

“ Girls Alas! there's not one maiden breast Which seems to feel the moral beauty Of making worldly interest Subordinate to sense of duty! Frederic Oh, is there not one maiden here Whose homely face and bad compl—exion Have caused all hope to disappear Of ever winning man's affection? To such an one, if such there be, I swear by Heaven's arch above you, If you will cast your eyes on me, However plain you be — I'll love you! Girls Alas! there's not one maiden here Whose homely face and bad complexion Have caused all hope to disappear Of ever winning man's affection! ”

“ And it is, it is a glorious thing To be a Pirate King! For I am a Pirate King! All You are! Hurrah for the Pirate King! Pirate King And it is, it is a glorious thing To be a Pirate King. All It is! Hurrah for the Pirate King! Exeunt all except Frederic. Enter Ruth. Ruth Oh, take me with you! I cannot live if I am left behind. Frederic Ruth, I will be quite candid with you. You are very dear to me, as you know, but I must be circumspect. You see, you are considerably older than I. A lad of twenty-one usually looks for a wife of seventeen. Ruth A wife of seventeen! ”

“ Edith Let us gaily tread the measure, Make the most of fleeting leisure, Hail it as a true ally, Though it perish by-and-by. Girls Hail it as a true ally, Though it perish by-and-by. Edith Every moment brings a treasure Of its own especial pleasure; Though the moments quickly die, Greet them gaily as they fly. Kate Far away from toil and care, Revelling in fresh sea-air, Here we live and reign alone In a world that's all our own. Here, in this our rocky den, Far away from mortal men, We'll be queens, and make decrees — They may honour them who please. ”

“ What are you? Pirate King We are all single gentlemen. Major-General Yes, I gathered that — Anything else? Pirate King No, nothing else. Edith Papa, don't believe them; they are pirates — the famous Pirates of Penzance! Major-General The Pirates of Penzance! I have often heard of them. Mabel All except this gentleman — (indicating Frederic) — who was a pirate once, but who is out of his indentures to day, and who means to lead a blameless life evermore. Major-General But wait a bit. I object to pirates as sons-in-law. Pirate King We object to Major-Generals as fathers-in-law. ”

“ Men who stick at no offences Will anon be here! Piracy their dreadful trade is; Pray you, get you hence, young ladies, While the coast is clear! Frederic and Mabel retire. Girls No, we must not lose our senses, If they stick at no offences We should not be here! Piracy their dreadful trade is — Nice companions for young ladies! Let us disappear. During this chorus the Pirates have entered stealthily, and formed in a semicircle behind the Girls. As the Girls move to go off, each Pirate seizes a Girl. Pirate King seizes Edith and Isabel, Samuel seizes Kate. Girls Too late! ”

“ Oh! pity me, my beloved friends, for such is my sense of duty that, once out of my indentures, I shall feel myself bound to devote myself heart and soul to your extermination! All Poor lad, poor lad! (All weep.) Pirate King Well, Frederic, if you conscientiously feel that it is your duty to destroy us, we cannot blame you for acting on that conviction. Always act in accordance with the dictates of your conscience, my boy, and chance the consequences. Samuel Besides, we can offer you but little temptation to remain with us. We don't seem to make piracy pay. ”

“ One would think that Great Britain's mercantile navy was recruited solely from her orphan asylums — which we know is not the case. Samuel But, hang it all! you wouldn't have us absolutely merciless? Frederic There's my difficulty; until twelve o'clock I would, after twelve I wouldn't. Was ever a man placed in so delicate a situation? Ruth And Ruth, your own Ruth, whom you love so well, and who has won her middle-aged way into your boyish heart, what is to become of her? Pirate King Oh, he will take you with him. (Hands Ruth to Frederic.) Frederic Well, Ruth, I feel some difficulty about you. ”

“ Girls Climbing over rocky mountain, Skipping rivulet and fountain, Passing where the willows quiver By the ever-rolling river, Swollen with the summer rain; Threading long and leafy mazes Dotted with unnumbered daisies, Scaling rough and rugged passes, Climb the hardy little lasses, Till the bright sea-shore they gain! ”

“ Though thou hast surely strayed, Take heart of grace, Thy steps retrace, Poor wandering one! Poor wandering one! If such poor love as mine Can help thee find True peace of mind — Why, take it, it is thine! Take heart, fair days will shine ”

“ Our hearts we cannot steel Against the sad, sad tale of the lonely orphan boy! Pirate King and Samuel The orphan boy! See at our feet they kneel, etc. Ensemble Pirate King Although our dark career Sometimes involves the crime of stealing, We rather think that we're Not altogether void of feeling. Although we live by strife, We're always sorry to begin it, For what, we ask, is life Without a touch of Poetry in it? ”

“ Exactly — you said "often", frequently, only once. ”