W. S. Gilbert

“ Frederic He escaped from you on the plea that he was an orphan? Pirate King He did. Frederic It breaks my heart to betray the honoured father of the girl I adore, but as your apprentice I have no alternative. It is my duty to tell you that General Stanley is no orphan! Ruth and Pirate King What! Frederic More than that, he never was one! Pirate King Am I to understand that, to save his contemptible life, he dared to practise on our credulous simplicity? ('Frederic nods as he weeps) Our revenge shall be swift and terrible. ”

“ Pirate King and Ruth hold a pistol to each ear. Pirate King Have mercy on us! hear us, ere you slaughter! Frederic I do not think I ought to listen to you. Yet, mercy should alloy our stern resentment, And so I will be merciful — say on! Trio — Ruth, Pirate King, and Frederic. Ruth When you had left our pirate fold, We tried to raise our spirits faint, According to our custom old, With quip and quibble quaint. But all in vain the quips we heard, We lay and sobbed upon the rocks, Until to somebody occurred A startling paradox. Frederic A paradox? ”

“ Yet, the breeze is but a rover, When he wings away, Brook and poplar mourn a lover Sighing, "Well-a-day!" Men Well-a-day! Major-General Ah! the doing and undoing, That the rogue could tell! When the breeze is out a-wooing, Who can woo so well? Men Shocking tales the rogue could tell, Nobody can woo so well. Pretty brook, thy dream is over, For thy love is but a rover ”

“ Frederic Hush, hush! not a word; I see a light inside! The Major-General comes, so quickly hide! Pirates Yes, yes, the Major-General comes! Pirates conceal themselves. Exeunt Pirate King, Frederic, Samuel, and Ruth. Police Yes, yes, the Major-General comes! Major-General (entering in dressing-gown, carrying a light) Yes, yes, the Major-General comes! Solo — Major-General. Tormented with the anguish dread Of falsehood unatoned, I lay upon my sleepless bed, And tossed and turned and groaned. The man who finds his conscience ache No peace at all enjoys ”

“ Men Through the trees. Major-General And the brook, in rippling measure, Laughs for very love, While the poplars, in their pleasure, Wave their arms above. Men Yes, the trees, for very love, Wave their leafy arms above. ”

“ Major-General No Englishman unmoved that statement hears, Because, with all our faults, we love our House of Peers. I pray you, pardon me, ex-Pirate King! Peers will be peers, and youth will have its fling. ”

“ Mabel Go, ye heroes, go to glory, Though you die in combat gory, Ye shall live in song and story. Go to immortality! Go to death, and go to slaughter; Die, and every Cornish daughter With her tears your grave shall water. Go, ye heroes, go and die! Girls Go, ye heroes, go and die! Sergeant, with Police. ”

“ Police Ah, when constabulary duty's to be done, to be done, A policeman's lot is not a happy one, happy one. Sergeant When the enterprising burglar's not a-burgling — Police Not a-burgling. Sergeant When the cut-throat isn't occupied in crime — Police 'Pied in crime, Sergeant He loves to hear the little brook a-gurgling — Police Brook a-gurgling, Sergeant And listen to the merry village chime — Police Village chime. Sergeant When the coster's finished jumping on his mother — Police On his mother, Sergeant He loves to lie a-basking in the sun — Police In the sun. ”

“ Though ye have surely strayed, Take heart of grace, Your steps retrace, Poor wandering ones! Poor wandering ones! If such poor love as ours Can help you find True peace of mind, Why, take it, it is yours! ”

“ Pirate King No, until you reached your twenty-first birthday (producing document) , and, going by birthdays, you are as yet only five-and-a-quarter. Frederic You don't mean to say you are going to hold me to that? Pirate King No, we merely remind you of the fact, and leave the rest to your sense of duty. Ruth Your sense of duty! Frederic (wildly) Don't put it on that footing! As I was merciful to you just now, be merciful to me! I implore you not to insist on the letter of your bond just as the cup of happiness is at my lips! Ruth We insist on nothing ”