William Donahey

“ The Teenie Weenies poured out three spoonfuls of the syrup, which filled half an English walnut shell.
“Mercy on us,” cried the Doctor, when he saw the Teenie Weenies carrying the heavy load of syrup up the walk to the shoe house, “you don’t bathe in cough syrup.”
“Well,” muttered the Turk, “I went according to directions.”
“The directions are all right for big children,” laughed the Doctor, “but ours are Teenie Weenie children.” ”

“ THE CLOWN FALLS OFF A SPOOL AND KNOCKS DOWN A HOUSE AFTER his experience in the pickle jar the Dunce made a resolution to try to be good whenever he went into a big house. But the busy little fellow couldn’t keep out of mischief, and it wasn’t long before he got into trouble again. He didn’t really mean to be naughty, for he was a most kind hearted little chap, but being so full of life and so curious he simply couldn’t be quiet.
He loved to look into everything he saw, and being a good climber he wanted to crawl over everything. ”

“ After a great deal of talk and measuring, the little men hurried back to the shoe house, where they set to work making the bolts and nuts necessary for mending the broken bear.
The next morning the Teenie Weenie workmen set off for the little girl’s house, followed by a number of the little people who were curious to see the bear. As the little girl had been taken out for a walk, the coast was clear, and the little men started to work at once, while the rest wandered about examining a doll’s house and many other toys which stood about the room. ”

“ The Policeman quickly followed the Dunce through the window, but presently he appeared on the sill and motioned the General to come up. The General climbed the vine, followed by the rest of the Teenie Weenies, and crossing over to the inside of the window sill he saw a most alarming thing. Right below him stood a table and on the table stood the Dunce, almost knee deep in a piece of custard pie.
“Well, sir,” cried the General sternly, while the rest of the Teenie Weenies tried to keep from laughing, “haven’t I told you not to meddle with things when you go into people’s houses? ”

“ THE GREAT FIELD DAY THE Teenie Weenies teased the Dunce a great deal after his experience in the taffy plate, and if it hadn’t been for an event which soon took place he would have had to stand much more of their joking.
For a long time the Teenie Weenies had thought of holding a field day. Their interest in athletics probably started from the example of the Chinaman, who had become quite expert as a pole vaulter. ”

“ The excited Dunce climbed up onto the roof, and if it hadn’t been for Gogo he would have chopped a hole through the roof.
“What you-all goin’ to do with dat ax?” asked the little colored lad as he watched the Dunce hurry up the ladder.
“Gonna chop a hole in the roof,” answered the Dunce. “You’ve always got to do that; they always chop a hole in the roof when there’s a fire.” ”

“ The Sailor carefully pushed the match out across the hole, and with its help he soon pulled the half frozen Clown from the water.
The poor fellow was carried quickly to the shoe house, where he was given a hot bath, wrapped up in a warm comforter and set before the fireplace. The Cook made cocoa for the Clown and brought it to him steaming hot.
“J-J-J-Jimminie f-f-f-fishhooks,” stuttered the Dunce, as he watched the Clown sip the delicious cocoa, “I-I-I-I wish I’d have fallen into the pan so I could get some of that good cocoa.” ”

“ Gogo, the little colored Teenie Weenie, is the assistant cook and he can get up almost as good a meal as the Cook. The General says that no one can bake a lima bean as well as Gogo.
The Dunce is a foolish fellow, who is always doing funny things. He is always hungry and the Cook says that he can eat a thimbleful of pudding and then get inside the thimble. All the Teenie Weenies love the Dunce, for he is a kind hearted little chap. ”

“ The little men were awakened by the roar of the rain drops splashing on the roof, but they merely turned over in their beds and went to sleep again, for why should they worry about the storm when they were sheltered in a strong tea pot? ”

“ Every summer the little people plant a garden and raise many vegetables which they store away in a great cellar under a tiny hill near the shoe house.
Each fall the Cook makes delicious jelly and apple butter and puts up many cans of fruit and vegetables for use during the long winter. The little people smoke many fish and frog hams too.
Four potatoes will keep the Teenie Weenie family supplied all winter and when the Cook wants some potatoes for a meal he goes into the cellar and cuts off a piece. ”

“ I thought I would write to you and ask you if you would come and live in my doll house. I have a nice doll house and it would make a very nice place for you to live in. I will cook good things for you to eat. You can play with my toys and I have a little toy horse that the Dunce can ride on.
“You can have a pan of water to swim in. I will make beautiful clothes for the Lady of Fashion. I will make cookies for you, and I will make candy too. ”

“ He always likes to take a walk,” smiled the little lady.
“Ah, he an’ the Cowboy an’ the Turk are buildin’ a fly trap over at the tool house. The Sailor and the Indian are helpin’ the Cook get a spoiled potato out of the cellar. Paddy Pinn, the Doctor, the General and the Old Soldier are havin’ a meetin’ at the hospital and the Clown and the Poet are out in the back yard talkin’ nonsense with a sparrow,” growled the Dunce. ”

“ The Teenie Weenies followed the Dunce to a nursery where they found all sorts of pretty toys. The little folks enjoyed themselves for some time looking at the many playthings, but the thing they liked most was a beautiful arch or house made out of building blocks. ”

“ In the summer they live on fresh fruit and vegetables from their garden, while once a week they buy a fresh minnow from a friendly King Fisher for a fish dinner. Occasionally they buy an egg from an old hen, which keeps them supplied with food for a long time, but the Teenie Weenies don’t have eggs often, for they are expensive, as the old hens demand twenty-five grains of corn for each egg. ”

“ Paddy Pinn struck the bug on the head with his huge hoe, as the Chinaman went by, and it rolled over on the ground half stunned by the mighty blow.
“Where did you pick up your friend,” asked the General, as he watched the bug scurry away through the tall grass.
“Me no pickee him up,” gasped the Chinaman. “Allee same he pick me up. Me sit down under bush to rest and me go sleepee. Me wakee up much klick and, whillikers, me see blig plinch bug and me run, but he catchee to shirtee tail and me runnee like glasshopper!”
“I should say you did run like a grasshopper,” laughed the Cowboy. ”

“ The Teenie Weenie garden was hidden away where grown-up people would not be likely to tramp on the plants and as the little folks trudged along Gogo struck up the following song, while all the rest joined in the chorus:
“Beans they take the place of meat,
And so if we all wish to eat,
We must take our rake and hoe
And scratch the earth to make ’em grow.
CHORUS
“Hoe, hoe, rake and hoe! ”

“ He can throw the lasso with wonderful skill and he is a good hunter.
The Indian is a silent little fellow. He spends much of his time in the woods and he can follow the trail of a caterpillar in the wildest jungle of tall grass.
The Scotchman is quite a musical Teenie Weenie. ”

“ Why a frog has wonderfully powerful legs. He could kick a Teenie Weenie over an ice cream bucket with one blow of his hind leg.”
“I wouldn’t mind if one kicked me INTO an ice cream freezer,” grinned the Dunce, who was fond of ice cream. ”

“ For dodging shot becomes his lot
From the cradle to the stew.” “A very truthful and beautiful piece of poetry,” said the rabbit, brushing a tear from his furry cheek. “I hope you will excuse me now, for I must hurry home and call the roll and see whether any more of my children are missing.”
The Teenie Weenie soldiers watched the rabbit hop away and then they fell into line and continued their march to the big woods.
Paddy Pinn and the Cook had gone ahead of the army with food for the soldiers. ”

“ The Turk caught hold of the bird’s tail and helped him hold on to the worm, while the Dunce pushed on the robin’s chest with all his strength. Gogo soon broke the piece of earth up with the pick and with one gulp the robin swallowed the worm. ”

“ H-e-l-p!” came a voice from over a bank of earth, and suddenly the Dunce dashed into view followed by a very angry young chicken. The frightened Dunce was covering the ground in great leaps, and just as he ran into the midst of the startled Teenie Weenies the chicken overtook him.
“There, you little rascal!” shouted the chicken, giving the Dunce a peck with her beak which sent the little chap sprawling in the dirt. ”

“ While the Dunce was talking to the Doctor, Gogo suddenly kicked the seed off the basket and the tooth was jerked out of the Dunce’s mouth before he really knew what happened.
“Oh, whillikers! Jimminie crickets! Hallelujah!” shouted the Dunce, dancing up and down with joy, when he realized that the tooth was out. “It’s out, it’s out! Hallelujah, hallelujah!”
AN ADVENTURE WITH A FROG “ALLEE same where Clowboy?” gasped the Chinaman, stopping at the back porch of the shoe house, were the Cook sat slicing a grape for lunch. ”

“ On Thursday morning the little men gathered at the armory promptly at eight o’clock and when they had slipped into their uniforms the General stepped onto a little platform, at one side of the room, and made a speech.
“Men,” he began, “while we get a great deal of good drilling in the armory once a week, it is quite necessary for us to get out of doors occasionally. ”

“ A potato will keep the Teenie Weenies supplied for several months, while one grain of rice will make one of the little people a square meal. Two baked lima beans will make a meal for the whole family and a thimbleful of butter will last a week. ”

“ Sometimes me use ten, twenty, twenty-three thimblefuls when me have bigwash. Me likee water from roof, it muchee much better to washee clothes in, but when the rain he no come down me have to carry water from cleek and that long way to carry wash water.”
“Yes it is,” agreed the General, “and we will have to build a cistern so you can have all the water you need without having to carry it so far.”
“Yes me wantee clistern; me need clistern and me likee vlery much to have clistern.”
“You shall have a cistern. I’ll give orders for one to be built right away,” said the General. ”