William Tenn

“ He stood on a pedestal of a smaller cylinder that seemed to have a sucking bottom to grip the sand.
When our green friend had finished working on the underside, he came tearing up to Jo-Jo near the car. Jo-Jo stiffened even more for a second, then seemed to get all loose and flexible and bent over, his tentacles drooping on the sand.
It wasn't a bow. It reminded me more of the way a dog fawns.
"They could have two intelligent races here on Mars," Fatty suggested in a low voice. ”

“ The big slob was busy outside the gray haze. First, he was under the keel, fastening a little box to the bottom of the haze. Then he squirmed around to the top, directly over the mast and stuck another doohickey up there. Those little black dots were still bubbling around inside his green body, but they didn't make me feel queer any more.
I had other things to feel queer about. "Do you think we might try yelling at him?" Fatty asked in the kind of whisper he uses in church. "Whatever he is, he looks intelligent." ”

“ Now you have to get back to Earth. Blizel will fix the bubble so you'll have more variety in your meals and can let them know what's what. When humans start coming here regularly, they can appoint another man to handle affairs and, if he's acceptable to Shoin and Mars, I can go back."
"Fatty, what if I can't get anyone to believe me?"
He shrugged. "I don't know what happens in that case. Blizel tells me that if you can't operate successfully enough to get man through the barrier in a riz or two, they will conclude that he isn't enough of an intellect as yet to warrant their interest. ”

“ It-Of-Shoin on your planet has been more interested in observing the development of the intelligent life-forms at the core of your planet than on its surface, no discredit, ah, intended. It-Of-Shoin was unaware you had acquired space travel."
"It-Of-Shoin on Earth," Fatty mused. "The one who sent us here. The Ambassador to Earth, hey?"
The Martian twisted his tentacles in genuine embarrassment. His white streaks got broader. "Ah, Earth does not require ambassador as yet. It-Of-Shoin is, ah, a—yes, a consul. To all the intelligent life-forms of, ah, Earth. ”

“ Fatty shook his round head at the Martian who was building a small bubble outside of ours for transportation purposes.
"You know, we can't really blame those guys. They have troubles of their own, after all. They're trying to get into a galactic federation on equal terms with some big-shots and they want to prove themselves. They feel like rookies going into a game with a world-series pitcher to bat against. ”

“ Right then, I couldn't think of anything more absolutely enjoyable than standing near Edna in the grocery while she nagged the sass off me.
"That's what happened," Fatty was whimpering. "That's why we fell and the water jumped into the boat. We just shot up in a straight line suddenly and we're still traveling—us, the sloop, and enough water to float the whole business. We're inside a gray ball that isn't made of anything and which we can't break out of even if we still wanted to." ”

“ Fatty told him of the presence on Earth of very brilliant men who knew calculus and suchlike and would give both eyeteeth and maybe an eye or so for the chance to spend their lives on Mars. These men, he pointed out, would be much more interesting for the Martians to have around, maybe even for They-Of-Shoin too, than a small-town grocer and serviceman who had both flunked elementary algebra. ”

“ All we have is the moon, and it don't look as if we're going further. Did you read about the Second Venusian Expedition coming back after they got two million miles out? The same thing's happened to them before, and we can't seem to make Mars either."
Fatty slapped the wheel impatiently. His jalopy swerved off the road and almost hit a fence post. "So what? They keep trying, don't they? Don't forget, the Fronac Drive's only been around for two years, and all scientists agree that, with the Drive, we can eventually go anywhere in the Solar System—maybe even to the stars after a while. ”

“ Why, when we get through driving them back off the planet, won't be a man or woman who'll be able to think of interplanetary travel without spitting. I go along with Reverend Pophurst: we shouldn't poke our noses into strange places where they were never meant to go or we'll get them bitten off."
Fatty thought a while and patted his stomach with his free hand like he always does when I score a good point. ”

“ They need a little backbone. When you come right down to it, they're nothing but exploited natives, and everyone thinks we'll be the same, but on a lower level."
"Wait'll we get here. We'll stiffen these Martians, Fatty. We'll get the system free of galactic imperialists, with our atom bombs and all. Bet our scientists have this forces-in-balance thing licked in no time. And dreefing, too."
"Sure. Think of it—another life-form, maybe more than one, in the core of the Earth with this It-From-Shoin leading them not into the path of temptation. ”

“ Fatty asked Blizel when he plopped back on deck with a couple of tentacleloads of equipment.
"They-Of-Shoin alone can dreef. We, ah, of Mars must use machinery still. Dreef is not the image but a construction of an, ah, of a transliteration for your delight. They-Of-Shoin dreef by, ah, utilizing force-patterns of what you call cosmos? Thus any product can be realized into, ah, existence—whether material or otherwise. ”

“ Most folks in town don't know it, but Fatty and I usually get so lathered up in arguments just before Election Day, that we always vote opposite tickets, no matter what.
"First place, if we hit animals smart enough to have disintegrators and suchlike when we don't have them, and if they want this planet, they're going to take it away from us, and no movie hero in a tight jumper and riding boots is going to stop them at the last minute by discovering that the taste of pickled beets kills 'em dead. If they're smarter than we are and have more stuff, we'll be licked, that's all. ”

“ Fatty raised a pudgy hand and headed him off. "What happened to the other Martian?"
Blizel coiled two of his tentacles into a braid. "No, ah, other Martian, that. I am Martian, ah, and representative of Martian Government. It-Of-Shoin is Ambassador from Shoin."
"Shoin?"
"Shoin. Galactic nation, ah, of which our system is a province. Shoin is nation of this galaxy and other galaxies. Ah, it in turn is part of larger nation whose name we do not know. It-Of-Shoin, the, ah, ambassador, has, ah, already decided which of you will be best but has not told me. ”

“ The Army has just announced it's established a base on the moon and they're going to equip it with a radio transmitter. Think of it, Paul! In a little while, we'll be getting radio programs from the moon! Then, we'll be tuning in on the latest news from Mars and Venus, the latest exploration on Mercury, the latest discovery on Pluto. People will be crazy to buy the new sets they'll need to receive that distance, kids'll be fooling around with all the new gimmicks that'll be coming out because of the inventions interplanetary travel will develop. ”

“ I wrapped my legs around the mast, grabbed handfuls of sail and dragged myself to the top. The mast ended just under the box outside of the gray haze.
"There's a purring noise coming from the box," I called down to Fatty. "Nothing inside it but silver wheels going round and round like the one in an electric meter. Only they're not attached to anything. They're floating at all kinds of angles to each other and spinning at different speeds." ”

“ A whole empire, Paul, bigger than anything on Earth—all controlled by those green jellies!"
Blizel finished building the bubble and Fatty went into it through the air-lock. It was darker than the one he left behind. I guessed Blizel wasn't as skilled as that fellow down in Cassowary Cove.
The Martian got back into his machine and started off. Fatty's bubble floated along above it.
I spent about ten or twelve hours on Mars alone. Night fell, and I watched two moons chase across the sky. Some sort of big snake wriggled up out of the sand, looked at me and went away on his own private big deal. ”

“ Stop knocking yourself out trying to break through a barrier of forces-in-balance that isn't meant to be broken through. You have to come down to Cassowary Cove and take a boat out and wait for It-From-Shoin to appear. I'll help, and you can be sure that when it gets to him, Fatty Myers will verify and do whatever else is necessary. But you won't be able to go to Venus or Mars any other way. ”

“ He plopped backwards into the smaller bubble which was his air-lock and started collecting machinery.
Fatty and I compared notes.
All of our galaxy and several others were part of a federation called "Shoin." Mars was practically ready to join or be accepted into the federation whose other members they considered pretty terrific operators. Earth was a backward planet and only rated a consul who was an "It-From-Shoin." He had a much higher regard for several other specimens of life he'd found on our planet than for man. ”

“ They have atomic power and stuff after atomic power and stuff after that. And yet they look up to these fellows from Shoin so much that you can just begin to imagine. They're not exploited, just watched and helped. And these fellows from Shoin, they're part of a bigger federation which I don't quite understand, and they're watched and guarded and helped too—by other things. The universe is old, Paul, and we're newcomers, such terribly-new newcomers! I wonder what it will do to our pride when we find it out."
There was a dollop of quietness while Fatty slapped the mast and I frowned at him. ”

“ The plates were filled with food: grapefruit, soup, beef steak, French fried potatoes, green peas, and—for dessert—ice cream. Enough for two. Our dream meal.
"It came from the box above," Fatty told me as I dressed with clumsy fingers. "I heard a click and looked up. There was this stuff floating down in single file. They distributed themselves evenly as they hit the deck."
"At least they feed you well."
Fatty grimaced at me. "You know where else you get served a meal with everything your heart desires." ”

“ A Brief Dreef On Mars
Our visitor began piling equipment out of the car and on the sand. He fitted this in that, one doojigger into another doohickey. A crazy-angled, shiny machine took shape which was moved against our little gray home away from home. He climbed into it and twirled thingumajigs with his tentacles.
A small bubble formed around the machine, attached to the gray haze.
"Air-lock," Fatty told me. "He's making an air-lock so that he can come in without having our air belch into the desert. Mars has no atmosphere to speak of." ”

“ I didn't get it. "Wonder what he wants of that poor mackerel. He's sure scaring it silly. It must think he's the Grim Angler."
The moment I'd opened my mouth, the blue and white fellow started rising. He came up over the side and hit our deck with a wet sound from the base of his pedestal.
A couple of tentacles uncoiled at us. We moved back. One of the holes in his mid-section expanded, twisted like a mouth in the middle of a stutter. Then in a rumbling, terrifically deep bass:
"You—ah—are the intelligent life from Earth? ”

“ Nevertheless, we'd surprised him by going out with space ships long before we should have. These ships hadn't been able to go anywhere else than the moon because of something called "forces-in-balance" which acted as a barrier both within and without. ”

“ It's just a matter of perfecting it, of getting the kinks out. We'll reach the planets, and in our lifetimes too. How do you know what kind of crazy problems they run into two or three million miles from the Earth? ”

“ And suppose they're smarter than we are and have disintegrators and heat-rays like that fellow described in the story. And the minute they see us, they'll yell, 'Oh, boy—rations!' and come piling down on Earth. ”

“ The Earth was just a shrinking, shining disc but neither of us could resist grabbing a fast look at it, now and then. It meant my grocery and Edna, Fatty's service station and his option on the Winthrop store. Home, 'mid planets and galaxies.... ”