Gadsby

“ Probably our High School didn’t contain a girl who didn’t think that, at no distant day, Bill Gadsby would turn, from a callow youth, into a “big catch” husband; for a Mayor’s son in so important a city as ours was a mark for any girl to shoot at. But Bill was not of a marrying disposition; loving girls just as girls, but holding out no hand to any in particular. Always in first class togs, without missing a solitary fad which a young man should adopt, Gadsby’s Bill was a lion, in his own right, with no girl in sight who had that tact through which a lasso could land around his manly throat. ”

“ Finally, on a crisp Autumn night, that soaring bird shot straight down with such an assuring swoop, that old Doc Wilkins, indoors with Nancy, saw it and said, quickly:—
"On your way, Nancy girl!!" and that part of Branton Hills saw his car racing hospitalwards, with Lady Gadsby fondly patting Nancy's tiny, cold hands, and saying just such loving things as a woman would, naturally, to a young girl on such a trip. But Gadsby and Frank? Ah! Poor, half-crazy things! No car would do at all! No, sir!! A car was far too slow! ”

“ Now that small girl, “of about six,” who had had Nancy’s baby out in City Park, was passing Gadsby’s mansion, and saw Old Bill. A kid of six has, as you probably know, no formally laid-out plan for its daily activity; anything bobbing up will attract. So, with this childish instability of thought, this tiny miss ran up onto Gadsby’s porch and stood in front of Old Bill, looking up at him, but saying not a word. ”

“ Many a day in passing that big church of Nancy’s grand display, or Gadsby’s rich mansion, Sarah had thought fondly about such things; for, as with any girl, marrying amidst blossoms, glamour and organ music was a goal, to attain which was actual bliss. ”

“ So Gadsby, Bill and Julius, with armfuls of string and mouthfuls of tacks, not only put in hours at pounding said tacks, but an occasional vigorous word told that a thumb was substituting! But what man wouldn’t gladly bang his thumb, or bark his shins on a wobbly stool, to aid so charming a girl as Kathlyn? ”

“ Nina Adams and Virginia sat on Gadsby's porch with Nancy and Kathlyn; and Old Bill was up as a topic. Virginia, constantly smiling and inwardly chuckling, hadn't much to say about our frisky Councilman; and Nancy and Kathlyn couldn't fathom why. But Nina, not so backward, said:
"Pffft! If a man wants to throw old clothing away and buy stylish outfits, what affair is it, but his own? It isn't right so to pick out a man, and turn him into a laughing stock of a city. Old Bill isn't a bad sort; possibly born grouchy; but if a grouchy man or woman, (and I know a bunch of that class in this town!) ”

“ Bids abominably low at first, but slowly crawling up; crawling slowly, as a boa constrictor crawls up on its victim. But, without fail, as a bid was sung out from that surging, gawking, chin-lifting mob, a woman, way in back, would surpass it! And that woman hung on, as no boa constrictor could! Gadsby, way down in front, couldn't fathom it, at all. Why should a woman want Big Four? A solitary animal, possibly, but four! So His Honor, turning and making his way toward that back row, ran smack into Nancy.
"Daddy! Lady Standish is outbidding all this crowd!" ”

“ Come!”
“No!” answered Gadsby. “Say what you please for me to Miss Laurence; if she chooses to take offense, it matters but little to me. The frowns of one whose smiles are so general, are easily borne. I hope you will have a pleasant ride.”
“But what new freak is this? Last night you were in fine spirits for the excursion, and I am sure you received the invitation of Miss Laurence with undisguised pleasure.”
“Think so? Well, I have altered my mind—that’s all,” said Gadsby, carelessly.
“Ah-ha! Are your wings scorched, that you thus shun the presence of the irresistible Lucia?” ”

“ CHAPTER I. Nature had been very profuse in bestowing her favors upon Mr. Frank Gadsby. In the first place she had given him a very elegant person, tall and of manly proportions; secondly, a pair of large, dark-hazel eyes, which could beam with tenderness or become fixed in the “fine frenzy” of despair, as best suited the pleasure of their owner. Above them she had placed a broad, white forehead, and adorned it with waving hair, of a dark, glossy brown. Next, a splendid set of teeth attested her skill and favor; and, to complete the tout ensemble, whiskers and moustache were unsurpassable. ”

“ Our young folks of today think such things too much work;” and, as that old factory was but a mass of ruins now, and midnight was approaching, Gadsby’s family was soon in that mythical Land of Nod, in which no horns blow, no sparks fall; only occasionally a soft gurgling from a crib in Nancy’s bungalow. ”

“ But though Marian had always had good clothing, coming from a family who could afford it, no tot, in all history, had so glorious an outfit as that which about all Branton Hills’ population saw on that platform, amidst flags, bunting and our big Municipal Band. As an airship is a simulation of a bird; and as a bird, to a child, is not far from a fairy, Marian had gaudy fairy wings, a radiant cloak of gold, a sparkling gown all aglow with twinkling stars, and a long glass wand, with a star at its top. As soon as all was in condition Gadsby told Marian to stand up. ”

“ Bill Gadsby, going abroad, naturally wasn’t on that ballot for Councilman Antor’s chair; but this history shows that that mouthy antagonist who had had so much to say about “pink satin ribbons” and “vanilla sprays,” didn’t win. No. A first class man got that position; old Tom Young, Sarah’s Dad, as good an old soul as any in all Branton Hills. ”

“ Days! Days! Finally, on May Fourth, that day of tiny Nancy’s big church ritual, you know; that day, upon which any woman would look back with romantic joy, Nancy, with Kathlyn, Lady Gadsby and His Honor, stood at Branton Hills’ big railway station, at which our Municipal Band was drawn up; in back of which stood, in solid ranks, this city’s grand young manhood, Bill, Julius, Frank, John, Paul and Norman standing just as straight and rigid as any. As that long, long troop train got its signal to start,—but you know all about such sights, going on daily, from our Pacific coast to Atlantic docks. ”

“ But, by going upstairs, away from all this din, Gadsby, humming happily, found Sarah and Lucy, Nancy and Kathlyn amidst a roomful of girls doing dainty fancy-work. And what astonishing ability most of that group did show! Nancy bought a baby-cap which was on a par with anything in Branton Hills’ shops; and though Kathlyn said it was “just too cunning for anything”, John Smith’s bungalow didn’t contain anybody (just now!) whom it would fit. ”

“ For a “city fop” or an “outdoor part of a tailor shop” is not always a boob, you know.
Gadsby’s mansion was again brightly aglow that night, that “World War flag” not hanging in his window now. And so, on Labor Day night, Lady Gadsby and His Honor, sitting in his parlor, thought that a light footfall was sounding out on his porch. As Gadsby got up to find out about it, Julius, coming in with a young girl, stood looking, grinningly, at Lady Gadsby; who, jumping up, said, happily:—
“Why! Mary Antor!!”
“No, Ma,” said Julius. “This is not Mary Antor.”
“Not Mary Antor? ”

“ What actions!" said Gadsby. "I don't know of any hop-skip-and-jump artist. How big a man is it?"
"Worra, worra! It ain't no man at all, at all! It's that thing what grows in Australia, and—"
But Lucy saw light right off; and "laughing fit to kill," said:—
"Oh, ho, ho!! I know! It's that boxing kangaroo you bought from Barnum's circus!" and a charming girl was doubling up in a wild storm of giggling, ignoring old Pat's scowls.
"Ah! That's him, all right," said Gadsby. "So, Pat, just put him in a burlap bag and ship him to this zoo." ”

“ XXIX Gadsby was walking back from a visit down in Branton Hills' manufacturing district on a Saturday night. A busy day's traffic had had its noisy run; and with not many folks in sight, His Honor got along without having to stop to grasp a hand, or talk; for a Mayor out of City Hall is a shining mark for any politician. And so, coming to Broadway, a booming bass drum and sounds of singing, told of a small Salvation Army unit carrying on amidst Broadway's night shopping crowds. ”

“ Lady Gadsby didn’t; but Lady Gadsby was a woman; and, from Noah’s Ark to Branton Hills’ First Church, woman, as a branch of Mankind, was curious. So a slow casual turning brought a dig in His Honor’s ribs:—
“It’s Norman Antor!”
Pastor Brown, standing at that big church door as folks, filing out would stop for a word or two, said to Gadsby:—
“Young Antor is invariably in church, now-a-days. I may add to my choir, and am thinking of putting him in it. I’m so glad to find out about that boy winning his fight. I always thought Norman would turn out all right.” ”

“ Not until John Gadsby ‘cut him out’ and won Lady Gadsby.”
“Aha!! And a Ho, Ho!!” said Sarah, laughing gayly. “So folks had what you call ‘affairs’ way back, just as today!” and also laughing inwardly, at what Lucy had said about this kindly Lady Standish and His Honor.
Ah! That good old schoolday, now so long past! How it bobs up, now-a-days, if you watch a young lad and a happy, giggling lass holding hands or laughing uproariously at youthful witticisms. ”

“ Now nothing can so light up such a mind as a good laugh. Start a man laughing, good, long and loud, and his mind's grimy windows will slowly inch upward; snappy, invigorating air will rush in, and—lo! that old snarling, ugly grouch will vanish as hoar-frost in a warm Spring thaw!
And so it got around, on a bright Spring day, to Old Bill sitting on Gadsby's front porch; outwardly calm, and smoking a good cigar (which didn't blow up!) , but, inwardly just full of snarls and growls about Branton Hills' Youth. ”

“ As Lady Standish shook hands, that worthy woman said:—
“John, what you did for Branton Hills should go into our National Library at Washington, in plain sight.”
“Sally, Youth’s part was paramount in all that work. All I did was to boss;” and Old Doc Wilkins, coming out, nibbling a bunch of raisins, said:—
“Uh-huh; but a boss must know his job!”
“That’s all right,” said Gadsby; “but it was young hands and young minds that did my work! Don’t disqualify Youth for it will fool you, if you do!” ”

“ Shop janitors boarding up big glass windows against a surging mob! And, (sh-h-h-h) many a church having in its still sanctity a woman or girl at its altar rail.
Months, months, months! Branton Hills was again at its big railroad station, its Municipal Band playing our grand National air, as a long troop train, a solid mass of bunting, was snorting noisily in. And, amidst that outpouring flood of Branton Hills boys, Lady Gadsby, Nancy, Kathlyn and His Honor found Bill, Julius, Frank and John. Sarah was just "going all apart" in Paul's arms, with Virginia swooning in Harold's. ”

“ Possibly girls can’t avoid it; anyway, our Branton Hills girls didn’t try to do so.
Gadsby, as has many a good old Dad, fought back any such showing; but I won’t say that his thoughts didn’t nag him; for, giving away your baby girl to any young, though first-class chap, is not actually fun. But that long, long trail finally brought him to that mossy dais, at which Frank, coming in through a handy door, stood waiting. Nancy was as calm as a wax doll; but Frank stood shaking with a most annoying cough (of imaginary origin!) ”

“ But His Honor’s mansion finally got back to normal as clouds of dust and swats and slaps from dusting cloths had shown Lady Gadsby and Kathlyn that “that parlor was simply awful” though Gadsby, Julius and Bill always had thought that “It looks all right,” causing Kathlyn to say:—
“A man thinks all dust stays outdoors.”
Though marrying off a girl in church is a big proposition, it can’t discount, in important data, doing a similar act in a parlor ”

“ Many a living, blossoming branch all around us, and this solitary dry twig, with a tag hanging from it, on which you will find: 'Branton Hills; A twig too lazy to grow!'"
Now this put a "hunch" in Gadsby's brain, causing him to say; "A High School pupil is not a child, now. Naturally a High School boy has not a man's qualifications; nor has a High School girl womanly maturity. But such kids, born in this swiftly moving day, think out many a notion which will work, but which would pass our dads and granddads in cold disdain. ”

“ Wait a bit!" and Gadsby sat down by his "baby girl," saying: "You can't go on a stumping campaign without knowing a lot about municipal affairs; which you don't. Any antagonist who knows about such things would out-talk you without half trying. No, darling, this political stuff is too big for you. You just look out for things in that small bungalow of yours, and allow Branton Hills to fight to put Bill in. You know my old slogan:—'Man at a city's front; woman at a cabin door.'"
And Nancy, fondly stroking his hand, said:
"Man at a city's front! What a grand post for a man! ”

“ Gadsby's parry to this rising youthful ambition for light on political affairs was:—
"Why will a duck go into a pond?" and Frank found that though a growing young man might know a thing or two, making laws for a city was a man's job. ”

“ But, had Gadsby so much as thought of such an action, his Organization would quickly laugh it to scorn.
"Why, good gracious!" said Frank Morgan, "if anybody should sit in that Mayor's chair in City Hall, it's you! Just look at what you did to boost Branton Hills! Until you got it a-going it had but two thouand inhabitants; now it has sixty thousand! And just ask your rivals to point to any part of it that you didn't build up. Look at our Public Library, municipal band, occupational class rooms; auto and bus trips; and your circus which paid for music for sick folks. ”