Launa

“ For some days Launa stayed with her. Lily was more than miserable; she was crushed, and could not bear to be alone.
There was so much inaction, none of those details which have to be fulfilled when anyone dies at home, no work was to be done except the purchasing of black, no beautiful flowers to arrange, no farewell look, painful, yet a comfort, for in the last sleep the wayfarer appears at peace. ”

“ George or Sir Ralph she would have said “Not at home.”
Captain Carden’s face was red, he appeared excited.
“I have good news,” he said. “You dislike Launa almost as much as I do?”
“No, no, Launa and I are friends. She is one of the noblest women I have ever met.”
“You have changed. Would you not be glad to hear something which will give her trouble, which will be a blow to her? Women often are glad when such things happen.” ”

“ She had changed her dress for a tea-gown and invited him to dinner. The evening was hot. Launa dressed in white and went to the music-room. Conversation did not appeal to her. She began to play, to work hard at an impossible sonata. The hard work was taking away her weariness, the feeling of misery and longing when the door was opened and Captain Carden came in.
“I did not let your maid announce me. I wanted to surprise you, Launa,” he said, advancing with an air of expectation. “She said you were not at home, but I heard the piano, and I knew you would see me.” ”

“ Launa looked at her and at the child; its hair was more curly, and not quite so black as the long, straight locks of Indian children.
“What a queer baby!” she exclaimed.
She looked at her companion. He was digging with his stick in the red clay of the road; his eyes were hidden; a red flush mounted to his forehead, and he was singularly embarrassed. She turned away and walked slowly on, followed by him in silence.
“What is that noise?” she said.
They heard a sound like a moan quite near them, and it grew louder; something—some animal—was suffering intensely. ”

“ She was rich, and inundated with letters of sympathy. Each writer considered herself the one consoler Launa required. Men do not write that kind of letter; they merely leave cards.
Mrs. Carden sent pages of lamentation and exhortation, interspersed with demands for one interview, just one, with her dearest Launa.
Lily Herbert came up to town for the day. She was sorry for Launa when she could remember to be so. It was with great difficulty she could disguise the cheerful grin her countenance had assumed since her marriage. She could not understand Launa’s abandonment to grief. ”

“ Launa found Mrs. Phillips entertaining. She explained some of the parts in this vast human drama. She found Miss Archer absurdly young in many of her notions, and absurdly old in others.
“I want to see everything,” said Launa, “and to live myself. It is terrible to feel oneself growing old. It will soon be over, and I haven’t done what I meant to do.” ”

“ Launa is perfectly innocent, she never stayed at an hotel—that is, lived with Mr. Wainbridge as you suggest. Someone may have seen them dining together. You dine with men sometimes. But I must go now.”
She walked up and down in front of him. She was like a panther, with the same quick, nervous, gliding steps, and she was raging. She wore a tea-gown; he had once admired it. The light accentuated her piercing eyes, her mocking red lips.
“I shall not come to you until you send for me,” he said.
“And I shall never send for you. Marriage is a mistake. You believe all they say of me. ”

“ Carden, with apprehension.
“Alone? No. Three people play in a trio, and four in a quartette,” said Launa.
Mr. George laughed, and said:—
“No one will listen to me. And I do so want to explain my proverb to you, Miss Launa. You see, if a woman has a brutal temper she does absolutely as she likes, and never sets an example; her precepts are obeyed, she has a good time, the best; and you see a saint whose example is quite heavenly, does any one imitate her? No, they only make her do more, work harder, and set a better example. Then they admire her.”
“You have met that woman?” said Mr. Wainbridge. ”

“ She wished him just then at Cairo or anywhere else.
“How do you do?” said both men.
“Miss Archer has just promised to marry me.”
He wore an air of ownership and went nearer Launa. There was a slight degree of defiance in his attitude.
“I congratulate you,” said Paul; “you are very lucky. The most fortunate of men.”
“Sit down,” said Launa, with a smile at Paul which Mr. Wainbridge endeavoured to imagine was merely kind. Launa assured herself that hers was the smile of a married woman to some brother of whom she is fond. “Tell me about home, about ‘Solitude,’ about the canoe, and the rivers.” ”

“ Wainbridge during his journey to Paddington were unpleasant. There was his uncle to face, and he must make explanations to him.
Nothing was so disquieting as Launa’s cry for help to Paul. Why Paul? Why not to Sylvia or Lily or anyone? And the sound of relief in her voice—relief—was there joy? She had never loved him; if she had, she would have loved him married or dead. She was the sort of woman who does not—who cannot change. Therefore if she had loved him she could have risked all for him. ”

“ She talked of music halls and of morality. In those days both were subjects of conversation and of argument.
“I hate morality,” said Launa. “It means nothing. It is only a name. Maud is so fond of talking of it. Maud is very vulgar.”
Mrs. Carden pushed away her plate with impatience. She ate the pudding afterwards, for it was excellent. She was horrified.
Sir John helped himself to cream with deliberation. Mr. Wainbridge looked at Launa. Mrs. Phillips saw the look and interpreted it.
“My dear Miss Archer,” said Sir John, “the world is very hard; its rules are firm and not easily broken.” ”

“ Will he ever know how I love him? Will he, Launa? Say something. Don’t stare at me. Will he? Do you believe it?”
“Many waters cannot quench love, nor death, nor parting, nor marriage, nor anything.”
“No,” said Sylvia, “nor marriage. He was married to a devil. A reputation never brought a woman comfort. You never say to yourself ‘I am respectable!’ You do not feel as if respectability were a new frock in which to rejoice. Would you, Launa, have received me if I had been—what would my label be?” ”

“ Wainbridge, of that he was sure.
Launa was alone.
They talked for some moments, the conversation was led by her to Newfoundland, but he took no interest in that.
“When are you going to be married?” he asked.
“When? I know not. Talk of something else.”
“I will talk about you. It is of no use for you to change the subject. I love you, love you, and you are mine. You have no right to marry anyone but me. You belong to me.”
Paul was as a god, knowing not merely good and evil, but love and light.
“It is my kisses you will long and hunger for, my arms which should be round you, not his.” ”

“ CHAPTER XXIII Launa’s first feeling was relief, relief—so intense, so endless, that she felt buoyant, joyful, secure. But after some days she felt shame. What had Hugh Wainbridge thought of her? What could a man think of a woman whom he could propose to wrong so terribly? And what had Paul thought of her? Why did he not come?
Why should she think he cared still? She had no reason to think so. Doubt, misery, and loneliness, became torturing demons; in action she saw the only relief possible, and then she remembered Canada, “Solitude,” the woods, the shore. Paul despised her, she was sure ”

“ Launa had been coached by Jacobs which way to go. In one place where it was brightly lighted there was a public-house and a policeman. She drove slowly. Mr. Wainbridge glanced with apprehension at the stalwart supporter of law.
Then they turned a corner, and stopped in front of Victoria Mansions. Jacobs was waiting. Launa got down.
“It was perfectly celestial,” she said. “I never enjoyed anything so much in my life.”
“Nor I,” said Mr. George, “though I owe you five pounds. There is something romantic in being driven by a woman, and that woman you, and you drive so well. ”

“ Phillips had written to Launa telling her the new shirts were becoming and the new punt a success. From this Launa gathered that Mr. Herbert, as well as the punt, was agreeable. Lily had too much experience to give in to his supplications at once, or to agree with him that love was of any avail in life. She said marriage rhymed with carriage very properly, and love with nothing. Besides, she was aware that after a woman has said “I love you” frequently there is nothing left to say. ”

“ I would not have said this if you had not made me angry about Launa. She is one of the best women I ever knew.”
“Your experience then is limited.”
“Good-bye. You live in too large a glass-house to throw stones, unless you are absolutely reckless and desire the smashing of your own roof.”
With this he left her, and she sat and thought it all over. She was very angry with Mr. George, and yet she laughed. She felt so absolutely sure of herself, and knew her husband was the one man in the world she loved. ”

“ George softly. “Does she want me?”
Launa frowned at him.
“Yes,” she replied; “he is in Norway. I heard from him to-day.”
“I am sure Mrs. Carden will agree with me,” said Mr. George agreeably, “about proverbs. Precept is better than example. Miss Launa, your father plainly thinks so. He is away enjoying himself. He sets you a bad example, but his precepts are excellent. My edition of the proverbs is so convincing.”
Mrs. Carden gazed at him, her cake in her hand half-way to her mouth, which was open.
“Is it really precept is better than example? Did Solomon say it? I only know his proverbs. ”

“ Launa was alone in Victoria Mansions. Mr. George visited her with frequency, and so did Mr. Wainbridge.
Mr. George often came in the morning.
“I am at my worst early, Launa,” he said, “and then I long for strong measures. You are a strong measure. Your name is so perfect, I could not spoil it with a Miss,” he added apologetically.
All the old women would have called her a bold Canadian had they not remembered her money and success. England conquered and annexed her Colonies; do not their maidens annex her young men? ”

“ Phillips stayed with the men to smoke. After his cigarette Sir John went to the Club. Mrs. Carden seated herself on a sofa and demanded a footstool, then when Launa announced an engagement for the afternoon, Lavinia arose and took her departure. Launa and Mr. Wainbridge drove off in a hansom.
“Do you think they are really going to hear music?” asked Mr. Herbert, when Lily and he were alone.
“Why not?”
“Because it is so hot, and because I would much rather talk to you here, so I naturally suppose every other man would rather talk to the woman he loves than listen to any music. ”

“ They passed Paul in his canoe. He waved his hand to Launa, who was staring into the water, and appeared absorbed in the depths or in her companion.
CHAPTER IV That night Launa could not sleep. She was so angry with Paul Harvey and with herself; she loathed herself. Her ideas of men and their passions were those of a young girl, to whom passion is unknown, to whom men appear as gods. She considered a man must love a woman by whom he has a child. Love, love! Paul was the father of a squaw’s child—of a squaw’s child ”

“ Paul was just going to open the window to come in. Launa did not see him—he turned round and walked away, and Mr. Wainbridge let her go.
“Don’t do that,” she said. “I hate it, loathe it, and if it were not for you and my pity—my pity, do you hear? I would . . . Sit there and talk rationally. I am a cold stone. I hate love-making, and you are going to be my husband. Have you forgotten the conversation you and I had at Victoria Mansions?” ”

“ Playing is real and not difficult. Once you begin to mix other people in your life, with your or their happiness depending on you, you will probably be very miserable.”
The admiration of one woman for another is sincere when it is felt when with her, and not merely expressed to a man.
Mrs. Phillips admired Launa for her youth, for her length of limb, and for her slight, graceful body and her warm brown skin. Launa’s mind was attractive. She made friends quickly; she seemed very adaptable; everyone interested her. Some men adored her as they had done at Musquodobit. ”

“ Paul had promised to remain in England until Launa’s marriage; the indefinite prolongation was therefore borne by him with a placid demeanour. He also had been requested to give her away—there is a certain amount of excitement in giving “this woman to this man,” when longing to keep her oneself, a form of death on the battlefield. Paul liked it as well as a man can like anything he dreads and detests, and yet with the feeling that he would not like another man to do it.
The April day was lovely. Paul was at Victoria Mansions, ready to do what Launa wanted, hoping Mr. Wainbridge might not come. ”

“ She is an old lady who believes in a man’s opinion.”
“ ‘Man was made in the image of God.’ She believes it still?”
“Yes,” said Launa, “and she accepts with thankfulness ideas from any man.”
“If she were a young woman this might be attractive and new. I will go to see this Adamite. What must I say?”
“Be indefinite.”
“Headache and weariness for disease; absolute quiet and rest for the remedies,” he replied. “I quite understand. May I come again? Above all I would like to be with you at Shelton.” ”

“ After they left, Launa went into her father’s work-room.
“I drove to-night,” she said. “Mr. George and Mr. Wainbridge came in the hansom, and I drove it.”
“You drove a hansom cab?”
“Yes, I feel very proud, so don’t tell me I ought not to be.”
“You should be ashamed, and I must scold you.”
“Ah, no. You are a dear.”
“Was it a successful party? You like Mrs. Phillips?”
“I like her very much. . . . Do men love women—often?” ”