Perrin

“ Mr. Perrin remained discontented, unhappy. He was continually attempting to make the boys fond of him and at the same time to retain his dignity. He never succeeded in this, because so definite an attempt on his part immediately precluded any capitulation on theirs. They thought he was a fool to try, and they resented his airs.
He was really fond of Garden Minimus, he thought, as he sat with his head between his arms in his dingy, dusty room. The dust wove patterns above his head in the pale, dim sunlight. He must go down and watch the football. ”

“ Traill broke in. “As though a man mightn't take another man's umbrella without all this disturbance. It's too absurd.”
“Oh! is it?” said Perrin, his voice shaking. “That's all of a piece—that's exactly like the rest of your behavior here. You come here thinking that everything and everyone belongs to you. Oh, yes! we've all got to bow down to everything that your Highness chooses to say. We must give up everything to your Highness—our clothes, our possessions—you conceited—insufferable puppy!” ”

“ If you were very popular, they cheered you loudly; if you were unpopular, they cheered you not at all. Perrin had no illusions about his popularity, and the silence on his entrance did not therefore surprise him, but matters were not improved by the roar of cheering that greeted Traill. ”

“ What rot! what rot! what rot! He could have shouted it to the roof—“Lies! Lies! Lies!”
There was a little stir and rustle as Moy-Thompson finished his speech—ladies' dresses moved against the chairs, boots slipped along the floor—and then a burst of cheering and clapping. Perrin rubbed his hands against one another—they were hot and dry and something rather like a bobbin on a latch went up and down in his throat—his eyes were burning. ”

“ And Perrin, with his head a little lowered and his hands swinging, had moved towards him, making a curious little noise in his throat, and Traill had seen his face and stepped back against the window.
But Perrin had remembered that picture in his mother's dining-room. No! that man must not get out—he must at all costs be kept in his box. ”

“ Perrin's religious life was a deep reality to him: he never spoke of it, but in it he moved, at home, in the conscious joy of the presence of God.
Every night, when his mother had gone to bed in her tiny attic, he knelt long beside the jonquière in the corner of the hearth: and every night he prayed for Ellenor, naming her softly after the beloved word "mother."
But this night. Ellenor was first on his lips. Why was she unhappy? Why was she so unkind to the father she loved? Ah, if one could see right through her dark eyes into her sorrowful heart, one might have a chance of comforting her! ”

“ Perrin, and he pulled his rather faded greatcoat about his ears, because the little wind was playing with the short bristly hairs at the back of his neck. He was long and gaunt; his face might have been considered strong had it not been for the weak chin and a shaggy, unkempt mustache of a nondescript pale brown. His hands were long and bony, and the collar that he wore was too high, and propped his neck up, so that he had the effect of someone who strained to overlook something. His eyes were pale and watery, and his eyebrows of the same sandy color as his mustache. ”

“ Traill was almost forgotten as Perrin stepped a little forward from the wall in order that he might hear better. The sight of Moy-Thompson's face up there on the platform smiling, so complacent, patriarchal with that white beard wagging at the end of it, brought the blood to his head. He clenched his thin hands. What were the other men doing that they could stand there and listen to these lies? Why did they not step forward and tell the truth to all those stupid women and those fat governors, to the little man with the shining boots on the platform? They knew that these thing were lies. ”

“ Comber was always at her noisiest and most affable with Mr. Perrin, because she didn't like him, and she always tried to cover that dislike with an increased amiability. Isabel stood rather gravely by and watched the game.
“We appear to be winning,” said Perrin, glaring as he spoke at three small hoys who had looked up at the sound of his voice. “We appear—um—to be winning. Morton has secured a try.” ”

“ Dormer had to say about yesterday afternoon, you know, Mr. Perrin—and now I shan't have a minute because Jane's been so silly about Freddie's shirts and his pyjamas—she missed them when they came from the wash, so that really it—but what did you think of it all, Isabel dear?”
“Of what all?” asked Isabel.
“Why, Mr. Perrin, of course. Poor man, of course he's been queer all this time—anyone could see, but really—I wonder what he 'll do now?”
“I expect that he 'll come back,” said Isabel.
“Come back? Well! But of course Moy-Thompson will have him back if he can. That would keep him quiet. ”

“ It was about half-past nine when Perrin, looking up at the sound of the opening door, saw Traill standing there. Traill filled the doorway, and Perrin knew at once that there was going to be a disturbance. He had had disturbances before, a good many of them, and always it had brought to him a sense of pathos that he, with an old mother (he always saw her as a crumpled but vehement background) , should have always to be fighting people—he, so unoffending if they would let him alone. However, if anyone (especially Traill) wished to fight him, he would do his best. ”

“ Perrin himself had been in a state of torture during dinner that was, for him, an entirely; new experience. Traill had taken her in.... His thoughts hung about this fact as bees hang about a tree. Traill—Traill... with his elegant waistcoat and his beautiful shirt. He splashed his soup on to his plate. As through a mist people's words came to him—Miss Madder's fat, cheerful voice: “Oh! I think we shall fill the West Dormitory this term. There are five small Newsoms—all new boys, poor dears.”... Comber himself, growling at the end of the table to Dormer: “It's perfectly absurd. ”

“ Beyond the drab windows the wind howled, and the dry leaves blew against the panes.
His temper rose as the hour advanced. The fifth proposition of the first book of Euclid was scarcely calculated to show dull boys at their brightest and best, and Perrin found that, by changing the letters of the figure on the board, the form knew nothing about it at all.
He proceeded, as was his way, to secure the dullest, fattest, and heaviest boy (a youngster with spectacles and a protruding chin, called Somerset-Walpole) and to make merry at his expense. ”

“ He had nothing more to do but introduce Sir Arthur Spalding, who would give away the prizes.
Mr. Moy-Thompson sat down, hot and inspired, amidst a burst of frantic cheering and clapping, but was suddenly chilled by the consciousness of Mr. Perrin's eyes glaring at him in the strangest manner across the room. He shifted his chair a little to the left, so that a boy's head intervened. The Governing Body at the conclusion of his speech moved their heads to the right, then to the left, smiled once, and resumed their immovability. ”

“ But, every man's hand being against him, it seemed to him only fair that he should use such opportunities of retaliation as were given him. At the same time these little confidential talks flattered his sense of power. Dormer was the senior master at the Lower School, but Perrin knew that Dormer did not have these little talks; it did not occur to him that the reason might be that Dormer was too honorable to care about them. Moreover, as far as Traill was concerned, Perrin really felt that it did not do to have masters leaping through windows at any hour of the night. ”

“ Perrin to make such a fuss about nothing, and I never did like him, and I don't care who knows it; but at any rate I don't see what this has all got to do with dear Isabel's engagement, and I think young Traill's a delightful fellow, and I hope they 'll both be enormously happy, and I think it's very unkind of you to wish them not to be!” Mrs. Comber took a deep breath.
“Really, my dear Mrs. Comber,” said Mrs. Dormer very slowly, “I'm sure we none of us wish them anything but happiness. Please don't have the impression that we are not eager for their good.” ”

“ It seems a pity when we are cooped up together here so closely that we should not get on as well as possible; it makes everything uncomfortable. And, in so far as I am to blame at all, I am very sorry.”
The little red and yellow china man on the mantelpiece, Perrin said, had been watching the conversation with great curiosity, and Perrin felt that he was a little disappointed now when matters promised to finish comfortably. Perrin himself was only too ready for peace. These quarrels always brought on headaches, and, in his heart, he longed eagerly, hungrily, for a friend. ”

“ For a moment he stood there, tall, gaunt, haggard, his eyes held by Birkland's, the fire dying from them. For a moment he seemed to hesitate, his lips moved as though he would speak—then, with a helpless gesture of his hand, he moved slowly, with hanging head, down the room, and passed out through the door.
There was silence, and then from his chair in the dark corner Perrin laughed.
CHAPTER XII—MR. PERRIN WALKS IN SLEEP I. WITH examinations there comes a new element into the life of the term—it is an element of triumph in so far as it marks the approaching end of an impossible situation ”

“ A small fire was burning in the grate—a mountain of black coal and stray spirals of gray smoke, and little white edges of unburnt paper hanging from the black bars. Beyond the side door voices quarreling in the kitchen could be heard, and beyond the other door a hum of voices and a clatter of cups.
It was all so dingy that it struck even the heavy brain of Clinton, who was down first. Perrin was taking breakfast in the big dining-room, and Traill was not yet hack from the Upper School. ”

“ In this bathroom Traill always arrived some minutes after Perrin. Try as he might, he never succeeded in arriving first. Perrin always filled both baths, one with hot and one with cold, and stood moodily, his naked body gaunt and bony in the gray light, watching them whilst they filled. Traill was forced to wait until Perrin had had both his baths before he could have his. At first it had seemed a small matter. Gradually as the days passed the irritation grew. There was something in Perrin's complacent immobility as he stood above his bath that was of itself annoying. Why should a man wait? ”

“ You have promised you'll never give up Monsieur Le Mierre to the constables."
Perrin was silent for a long time; then he said, in a voice hoarse with emotion,
"It seems I am a very stupid chap, and it takes me a little while to see what a woman is driving at. But though you are too clever for me, Ellenor, and caught me in a fine trap, I can make out the reason, the only reason, why you will be my wife. It is to save Le Mierre from disgrace." ”

“ Perrin drew a deep breath. “If you will help me, I 'll come back,” he said.
The new day shone about their heads.
IV.
Later, at the Comber's breakfast-table there was confusion. Mrs. Comber was flushed and happy. It was true that this happy release was only for a few weeks, but her “Freddie” was more genial and pleasant than he had been since the days of their honeymoon and her boys were returning that afternoon.
“Freddie—another sausage—Oh! My dear Isabel, here's a bill from that dressmaker again and she sent one only last week; she can't leave one alone. ”

“ How do you like the other men?”
“Oh, I think they 're very good fellows. Dormer's splendid.”
“Yes—and Perrin?”
“Oh! he's all right. He seems to get annoyed pretty easily. As a matter of fact, I have felt rather irritated once or twice.”
“Yes—everyone's wanted to cut Perrin's throat some time or other. As a matter of fact, I shouldn't wonder if it was n't the other way round—one day.”
There was a pause, and then Birkland said, “And so you like it.”
“Yes, of course; don't you?”
Birkland laughed. There was a long pause. Then Traill said again, rather uncertainly, “Don't you?” ”

“ Perrin's face was gray; his hair appeared to be unbrushed, and there was a good deal of white chalk on the back of his sleeve.
“Really, it's too bad,” he said to no one in particular and certainly not to Traill. “I don't know what's come over that boy—nothing but continuous impertinence. He shall go up to the Head if he isn't careful. Such a nice boy, too, before this term.”
At this moment he saw that Traill was reading the Morning Post and Clinton the Daily Mail. He looked as though he were going to say something, then by a tremendous effort controlled himself. ”

“ And he must be on pretty good terms with Le Mierre to play off such a joke with him, eh, Perrin!"
"I can't say, mother, I'm sure, and, in case even he is good friends with the devil, it's all the worse for the girl that loves him."
[Pg 56]
"Bah! I've no patience with Ellenor. Le Mierre is a bad man. She knows that as well as you and me do, and yet ... she loves him. Well, well, women are poor fools. But, come, Perrin, isn't there any other girl that would do except Ellenor? There's hundreds nicer than her, and hundreds prettier—specially now." ”

“ It is kind of you to put flowers here. Ah, [Pg 72] it is always a woman who thinks of those things! We are such stupid creatures, we men! She who lies here so often said that to me. I miss her more and more, Ellenor."
"Poor Perrin!" she said softly, and for one long moment she looked into the faithful face bent over his mother's grave; then she turned away with a bitter sigh. Perrin lifted his head ”