Hannah Cowley

“ Now, I trust, Don Julio, after all this, that if I should do you the honour of my hand, you'll treat me cruelly, be a very bad man, that I, like my exemplary cousin——
Vict. Hold, Olivia! it is not necessary that a husband should be faulty, to make a wife's character exemplary.—Should he be tenderly watchful of your happiness, your gratitude will give a thousand graces to your conduct; whilst the purity of your manners, and the nice honour of your life, will gain you the approbation of those, whose praise is fame. ”

“ Can it be true that I have been unhappy?—But the mysteries, my Carlos, are already explained to you—Gasper's resemblance to my uncle——
Gasp. Yes, sir, I was always apt at resemblances—In our plays at home, I am always Queen Cleopatra—You know she was but a gipsey queen, and I hits her off to a nicety.
Car. Come, my Victoria——Oh, there is a painful pleasure in my bosom—To gaze on thee, to listen to and to love thee, seems like the bliss of angels' cheering whispers to repentant sinners. ”

“ Mrs. Rack. Absurd, and romantic! If you have no reason to believe his heart pre-engaged, be satisfied; if he is a man of honour, you'll have nothing to complain of.
Letit. Nothing to complain of! Heav'ns! shall I marry the man I adore, with such an expectation as that?
Mrs. Rack. And when you have fretted yourself pale, my dear, you'll have mended your expectation greatly.
Letit. (pausing.) Yet I have one hope. If there is any power whose peculiar care is faithful love, that power I invoke to aid me.
Enter Mr. Hardy.
Hardy. Well, now; wasn't I right? Aye, Letty! Aye, Cousin Racket! ”

“ The lady cried out, sir, and you told her you would not return; but when Donna Olivia de Zuniga entered, for whom I have conceived a most violent passion——
Cæsar. A passion for her! Oh, let me hear no more on't.—A passion for her! You may as well entertain a passion for the untameable hyena.
Gar. There, Vincentio, what think you now? Xantippe or not?
Vin. I am afraid I must give up that—but pray support me as to this point, Don Cæsar; is not the lady fond of a Jew's-harp?
Cæsar. Fond! she's fond of nothing, but playing the vixen; there is not such a fury upon earth. ”

“ What has disturbed you, Sir George?
Sir Geo. Your having preserved Lady Frances, in so imminent a danger. Start not, Saville; to protect Lady Frances, was my right. You have wrested from me my dearest privilege.
Sav. I hardly know how to answer such a reproach. I cannot apologize for what I have done.
Sir Geo. I do not mean to reproach you; I hardly know what I mean. There is one method by which you may restore peace to me; I cannot endure that my Wife should be so infinitely indebted to any man who is less than my Brother. ”

“ Laura. Yes, ingrate, thee!
Vict. Positively, Laura, you have these extravagancies so often, I wonder my passion can stand them. To be plain, those violences in your temper may make a pretty relief in the flat of matrimony, child, but they do not suit that state of freedom which is necessary to my happiness. It was by such destructive arts as these you cured Don Carlos of his love.
Laura. Cured Don Carlos! Oh, Florio! wert thou but as he is?
Vict. Why, you don't pretend he loves you still? ”

“ Men are all dissemblers! flatterers! deceivers! Have I not heard a thousand times of my air, my eyes, my shape—all made for victory! and to-day, when I bent my whole heart on one poor conquest, I have proved that all those imputed charms amount to nothing;—for Doricourt saw them unmov'd.—A husband of fifteen months could not have examined me with more cutting indifference. ”

“ Doricourt's eyes, than he appeared in mine.
Hardy. There you are mistaken; for I asked him, and he told me he liked you vastly. Don't you think he must have taken a fancy to her?
Mrs. Rack. Why really I think so, as I was not by.
Letit. My dear Sir, I am convinced he has not; but if there is spirit or invention in woman, he shall.
Hardy. Right, Girl; go to your toilette—
Letit. It is not my toilette that can serve me: but a plan has struck me, if you will not oppose it, which flatters me with brilliant success.
Hardy. Oppose it! not I indeed! What is it? ”

“ When you are married, ma'am, I hope your husband will bear your humour less patiently than I have done.
Oliv. My husband!—dost think my husband shall contradict my will? Oh, I long to set a pattern to those milky wives, whose mean compliances degrade the sex.
Gar. Opportune! [Aside.]
Oliv. The only husband on record who knew how to treat a wife was Socrates; and though his lady was a Grecian, I have some reason to believe her descendants matched into our family; and never shall my tame submission disgrace my ancestry.
Gar. Heavens! why have you never curbed this intemperate spirit, Don Cæsar? ”

“ Laura. Yes, every hour—Now, Carlos I bring thee to the test!—You saw, you liked, you loved me; was there no fond trusting woman whom you deserted, to indulge the transient passion? Yes, one blessed with beauty, gentleness, and youth; one, who more than her own being loved thee, who made thee rich, and whom thou madest thy wife. ”

“ Why look ye, Sir George, 'tis very plain you have no inclination to let me see your wife at all; so here I sit (throws himself on a sopha.) —There's my hat, and here are my legs.—Now I sha'n't stir till I have seen her; and I have no engagements: I'll breakfast, dine, and sup with you every day this week.
Sir Geo. Was there ever such a provoking wretch! But, to be plain with you, Doricourt, I and my house are at your service: but you are a damn'd agreeable fellow, and ten years younger than I am; and the women, I observe, always simper when you appear. ”

“ Car. Confound thee, confound thee! If thou art a wife, may thy husband plague thee with jealousies, and thou never be able to give him cause for them; and if thou art a maid, may'st thou be an old one! [Going, r. meets Don Julio.] Oh, Julio, look not that way; there's a tongue will stun thee!
Julio. Heaven be praised! I love female prattle. A woman's tongue can never scare me. Which of these two goldfinches makes the music?
Car. [Crosses to Victoria.] Oh, this is as silent as a turtle— [Taking Victoria's hand.] —only coos now and then,—Perhaps you don't hate a married man, sweet one? ”

“ And you I take to be a slanderous Cynic of two-and-thirty.—Twenty years hence, one might have forgiven such a libel!—Now, Sir, hear my definition of a Fine Lady:—She is a creature for whom Nature has done much, and Education more; she has Taste, Elegance, Spirit, Understanding. In her manner she is free, in her morals nice. Her behaviour is undistinguishingly polite to her Husband, and all mankind;—her sentiments are for their hours of retirement. ”

“ Through fifty back lanes, a long garden, and a narrow staircase, into a superb apartment—all that's in the regular way; as the Spanish women manage it, one intrigue is too much like another. If it was not now and then for the little lively fillip of a jealous husband or brother, which obliges one to leap from a window, or crawl, like a cat, along the gutters, there would be no bearing the ennui. ”

“ Doricourt, to affect madness, rather than fulfil your engagements.
Doric. Affect madness!—Saville, what can I do?
Sav. Since you are discovered, confess the whole.
Miss Ogle. Aye, turn Evidence, and save Yourself.
Doric. Yes; since my designs have been so unaccountably discovered, I will avow the whole. I cannot love Miss Hardy—and I will never——
Sav. Hold, my dear Doricourt! be not so rash. What will the world say to such——
Doric. Damn the world! What will the world give me for the loss of happiness? Must I sacrifice my peace, to please the world? ”

“ Are you afraid to trust Lady Frances with me, Sir?
Sir George. Heaven and earth! with whom can a man trust his wife, in the present state of society? Formerly there were distinctions of character amongst ye: every class of females had its particular description; Grandmothers were pious, Aunts, discreet, Old Maids censorious! but now aunts, grandmothers, girls, and maiden gentlewomen, are all the same creature;—a wrinkle more or less is the sole difference between ye.
Mrs. Rack. That Maiden Gentlewomen have lost their censoriousness, is surely not in your catalogue of grievances. ”

“ Now, if my scheme takes, what a happy person I shall be! and sure, as I was Donna Olivia to-day, to please my lady, I may be Donna Olivia tonight, to please myself. I'll address him as the maid of a lady who has taken a fancy to him, then convey him to our house—then retire, and then come in again, and, with a vast deal of confusion, confess I sent my maid for him. If he should dislike my forwardness, the censure will fall on my lady; if he should be pleased with my person, the advantage will be mine. ”

“ You are married, Carlos;—that's all I have to say—you are married.
Car. Pho! that's past long ago, and ought to be forgotten; but if a man does a foolish thing once, he'll hear of it all his life.
Julio. Ay, the time has been when thou might'st have been intrusted with such a dear secret,—when I might have opened the billet, and feasted thee with the sweet meandering strokes at the bottom, which form her name, when——
Car. What, 'tis from a woman then?
Julio. It is.
Car. Handsome?
Julio. Hum—not absolutely handsome, but she'll pass, with one who has not had his taste spoiled by—matrimony. ”

“ Exit Saville.
SCENE IV.——Sir George Touchwood's.
Enter Sir George and Villers.
Vill. For shame, Sir George! you have left Lady Frances in tears.—How can you afflict her?
Sir Geo. 'Tis I that am afflicted;—my dream of happiness is over.—Lady Frances and I are disunited.
Vill. The Devil! Why, you have been in town but ten days: she can have made no acquaintance for a Commons affair yet.
Sir Geo. Pho! 'tis our minds that are disunited: she no longer places her whole delight in me; she has yielded herself up to the world! ”

“ Min. I believe so, indeed; help the poor gentleman, I say, to whose fate you fall! [Returns up.]
Gar. Don Cæsar, adieu! My commiseration for your fate subdues the resentment I should otherwise feel at your endeavouring to deceive me into such a marriage. [Crosses, l.]
Oliv. Marriage! oh, mercy!—Is this Don Garcia! [Apart to Cæsar.]
Cæsar. Yes, termagant!
Oliv. O, what a misfortune! Why did you not tell me it was the gentleman you designed to marry me to?—Oh, sir! all that is past was in sport; a contrivance between my maid and me: I have no spirit at all—I am as patient as poverty. ”

“ Enter Saville and Kitty Willis, habited like Lady Frances.
Sav. I have seen Courtall in Sir George's habit, though he endeavoured to keep himself conceal'd. Go, and seat yourself in the tea-room, and on no account discover your face:—remember too, Kitty, that the Woman you are to personate is a Woman of Virtue.
Kitty. I am afraid I shall find that a difficult character: indeed I believe it is seldom kept up through a whole Masquerade. ”