Paul Leicester Ford

“ There is a general idea that a lover is always at his best when with the woman he loves, but, from my own experience, I think he is quite as likely to be at his worst. To watch your graceful movements, to delight in the play of expression on your face, and to catch every inflection in your voice and every word you speak are pleasures so engrossing to me that I must appear to you even more abstracted than I ordinarily am, though a dreamer at best. And yet now and then I have thought you were conscious of a tenderness in me, which, try as I will, I cannot altogether hide. ”

“ Most of us can be brave with something to do, but to be brave for months, for years, with nothing to be done and without hope of the future! So it was in Peter’s case. It was waiting—waiting—for what? If clients came, if fame came, if every form of success came,—for what?
There is nothing in loneliness to equal the loneliness of a big city. About him, so crowded and compressed together as to risk life and health, were a million people. Yet not a soul of that million knew that Peter sat at his desk, with his head on his blotter, immovable, from noon one day till daylight of the next. ”

“ The sadness and estrangement in my life are all of human origin, and mine, it seems to me, has been a fuller cup of bitterness than most men have to drink. Or am I only magnifying my own sufferings, and diminishing those of my fellow mortals? To the world I am a fortunate man, with promise of even greater success. Do all the people about me, who seem to be equally prosperous, bury away from sight some grief like mine that beggars joy?
Can you, Maizie, in the tide and triumph of your beauty and wealth, hide any such death-wound to all true happiness? ”

“ The three days went all too quickly, thanks to Miss Cullen, and by the end of that time I began to understand what love really meant to a chap, and how men could come to kill each other for it. For a fairly sensible, hard-headed fellow it was pretty quick work, I acknowledge; but let any man have seven years of Western life without seeing a woman worth speaking of, and then meet Miss Cullen, and if he didn’t do as I did, I wouldn’t trust him on the tail-board of a locomotive, for I should put him down as defective both in eyesight and in intellect. ”

“ Angry at both herself and him, Constance merely bowed, and walked on. “I don’t see why men have to torment me so,” she thought, as she hurried along. “His face was really interesting, and if he only wouldn’t begin like—He never would have behaved so if—if I weren’t—” Miss Durant checked even her thoughts from the word “beautiful,” and allowed the words “well dressed” to explain her magnetism to the other sex. Then, as if to salve her conscience of her own hypocrisy, she added, “It really is an advantage to a girl, if she doesn’t want to be bothered by men, to be born plain.” ”

“ A moment’s silence came after Peter’s return to the fire. Then he said: “Will you give it to me, Miss D’Alloi?” But his voice in truth, made the words, “Give me what I ask, my darling.”
“Yes,” said Leonore softly. “On your birthday.” Then Leonore shrank back a little, as if afraid that her gift would be sought sooner. No young girl, however much she loves a man, is quite ready for that first kiss. A man’s lips upon her own are too contrary to her instinct and previous training to make them an unalloyed pleasure. ”

“ In a town of less than a thousand inhabitants, nearly thirteen hundred troops, with their inevitable camp followers, were forcibly quartered, filling every house and every barn, to the dire discomfort of the people. As if this in itself were not enough, the Hessian soldiery, habituated to the plundering of European warfare, and who had been sold at so much per head by their royal rulers to fight another country’s battles, brought with them to America ideas of warfare which might serve to conquer, but would never serve to pacify, England’s colonies. ”

“ To be disgusted at the decision of questions, because they are not consonant to your own ideas, and to withdraw ourselves from public assemblies, or to neglect our attendance at them, upon suspicion that there is a party formed, who are inimical to our cause, and to the true interest of our country, is wrong, because these things may originate in a difference of opinion; but, supposing the fact is otherwise, and that our suspicions are well founded, it is the indispensable duty of every patriot to counteract them by the most steady and uniform opposition. ”

“ As for chess, I learned to play the game you tested last October on the veranda of My Fancy. You looked courteously grave when, after our initial battle, I had to ask from you the odds of a pawn, and never dreamed that I fathomed your secret triumph over your victory. You are so delightfully human and womanly, after all, Maizie, to any one who can read your thoughts. It is a pleasure to see your happiness in the consciousness of your own power, and I grudge you victory over me no more than over other men. ”

“ I have read or been told that, unassisted, the pseudo-hero captured a dozen desperadoes; that he was one of the road agents himself; that he was saved from lynching only by the timely arrival of cavalry; that the action of the United States government in rescuing him from the civil authorities was a most high-handed interference with State rights; that he received his reward from a grateful railroad by being promoted; that a lovely woman as recompense for his villany—but bother! it’s my business to tell what really occurred, and not what the world chooses to invent. ”

“ Say something? Papa! Peter! Will nobody speak?”
“Leonore,” said Peter, “do not doubt me. Trust me and I will—”
“Tell me,” cried Leonore interrupting, “was this why you didn’t come to see us? Oh! I see it all! This is what mamma knew. This is what pained you. And I thought it was your love for—!” Leonore screamed.
“My darling,” cried Peter wildly, “don’t look so. Don’t speak—”
“Don’t touch me,” cried Leonore. “Don’t. Only go away.” Leonore threw herself upon the rug weeping. It was fearful the way those sobs shook her.
“It can’t be,” said Peter. “Watts! She is killing herself.” ”

“ Miss Meredith, every ounce of blame ye put upon my conduct I accept honestly and regretfully, but did ye but know all, I think ye would pity rather than judge me in that heart which seems open to every one but me. From the day my father died in the debtor’s prison and I was thrown a penniless boy of twelve upon the world, it has been one long fight to keep head above water, till I got this appointment. The gentlemen of the army have told ye that I was a government spy, I doubt not. I wonder what they would have been in my straits! Think ye any man is spy by choice? ”

“ A man does not willingly spread on paper the sweetest and tenderest moments of his life. When half crazed with grief and illness I might express my suffering, much as, in physical pain, some groan aloud; but the deepest happiness is silent, for it is too great to be told. And lest, my dears, you think me even less manly than I am, I choose to add here the reason for my writing the last few pages of this story of my love, that if you ever read it you may know the motive which made me tell what till to-night I have kept locked in my heart. ”

“ And, Peter, do you dislike women?”
“Unquestionably,” said Peter.
“Please tell me. I told them of your speech about the sunshine, and Mrs. Winthrop says that she knows you didn’t mean it. That you are a woman-hater and despise all women, and like to get off by yourself.”
“That’s the reason I joined you and Dorothy,” said Peter.
“Do you hate women?” persisted Leonore.
“A man is not bound to incriminate himself,” replied Peter, smiling.
“Then that’s the reason why you don’t like society, and why you are so untalkative to women. I don’t like men who think badly of women. ”

“ Howls of rage arose on all sides; and it would have fared badly with the master of Greenwood had not the noise brought an officer up.
“Here, here!” he cried sharply, “what ’s all this pother about?”
“’T is a damned Whig, who is—”
“A lie!” roared the squire. “There is no better subject of King George living than Lambert Meredith.”
The officer jeered. “That’s what every rebel claims of late. Not one breathes in the land, if you’d but believe the words of you turncoats.”
“’T is not a lie,” spoke up Janice, her face blazing with temper and her fists clinched as if she intended to use them. ”

“ How could I imagine, remembering those days of closest love and sympathy, and knowing too your kindness to one you thought a mere Eastern stroller, that you could have changed so to your former friend?
The most curious fact to me, in looking back upon that time, is that the idea never occurred to me that you were a married woman. It never entered my thoughts that a beauty which fascinated and drew me so far from my natural orbit must be an equally powerful charm to other men. As for Mr. Blodgett, I never gave him a second thought, not even accounting for his relations with you. ”

“ Peter smiled sadly. “How are Mrs. Podds and the children?” he asked kindly.
“What is a family at such a moment?” shrieked Podds.
“The world is my family. I love the whole world, and I’m going to revolutionize it. I’m going to give every man his rights. The gutters shall reek with blood, and every plutocrat’s castle shall be levelled to the soil. But I’ll spare you, for though you are one of the classes, it’s your ignorance, not your disposition, that makes you one. Get away from here. Get away before it’s too late.” ”