Amanda M. Douglas

“ Louis turned deadly pale at that.
“Come,” I urged.
“I have been haunting your house all the afternoon. I thought I should have to go without seeing you. You have heard—of course.”
“Everything, I believe.”
“I know how Stephen feels. His life has been so perfect! His temper is angelic! And yet Rose—I did mean to do better. I resolved—”
“In your own strength;” I said softly. “God let you see how weak that was. And yet you must not be cast down. Even Christians have to try many times. But there is the promise. And God saves to the uttermost, to the fartherest weakness, the blackest sin.” ”

“ I sometimes think I was meant for a country life. I like the growing and blossoming, the ripening and the fruit. Autumn rounds everything so perfectly.”
“Yes,” said Dick, “there is always a great richness in Autumn. The smells of the drying fields, of the stacked corn, the apples and pears and grapes. And the leaves all aglow, the chestnuts full of yellow burrs. You ought to come then, Mr. Ogden!” ”

“ A rare, almost boyish humility was discernable in his conversations with papa. I liked so much better to listen than to have him talk to me.
“I am afraid I shall grow proud in my old days,” said papa a few evenings afterward. “Such first fruits as Mr. Duncan and Miss Churchill seem a whole harvest. I shall never be discouraged again.”
Indeed, Miss Churchill had become the Lady Bountiful of the parish. I do not mean simply among the poor. The rich need the gospel of charity and loving kindness as well. ”

“ Miss Churchill was very kind and delicate.”
“Fan,” exclaimed papa as if waking out of a dream—“I think I do see the good seed. But some things are best to let grow by themselves. If you poke about the roots and snip off and tie up, you don’t get half the bloom and beauty. People like the Churchills might bring forth so much fruit. Perhaps it will come. The same God who made the gourd, made the century plant. Mother, couldn’t we have a quiet little hymn?”
It was a trick he had when there was any special thing on his mind. Mamma’s soft playing seemed to smooth out the tangles. ”

“ The children stood around, back of them Louis, Nelly and mamma, and then a host of eager parish faces. Does any one take it all in then, the solemn questions, the still more solemn promises?
Mr. Churchill gave us both away. Papa’s voice had a little falter in it, and I dared not look up. “For better, for worse,” “till death do us part,” rang clearly in heart and brain. The forever of human love, when it is love and no base counterfeit. ”

“ Already I could see that papa had begun to depend more upon me. He brought his gloves to be mended, and used to ask me now and then to find various little matters for him. True, mamma was much occupied with Edith. I liked the growing nearer though, the tender confidence and trust.
I could see how it would be. One by one the birdlings would fly out of the home nest. I was an every-day useful body and would be needed to help the others, make some ready to go and comfort those who staid. I didn’t suppose the sweet grace and patience that glorified Miss Oldway’s face would ever come in mine. ”

“ Wonderful were the patterns of tatting that went into it, the bits of fine crocheting, the puffs and rufflings gathered and stitched in dainty fashionings.
For her there could be no expensive trousseau ordered at some first class city store. It would have to be a labor of love and necessity.
She was quite demure and precise for awhile, then Harry Denham came home from the West, and she broke out into a regular frolic. Nothing very bad or harmful, but her olden self that could not be altogether repressed. ”

“ Oh, Rose, if you were to be there I believe I should go. If you were my sister you might save me. You are so sweet, so patient; you know so many tender ways.”
“Why, I should be your sister then,” I said, trembling in shame and confusion, for what, I hardly knew.
“You are so different from most people. I think Stephen would be gentler with you—”
“Hush, he knows best. Come home with me and talk to papa. What have you been doing all this while?”
“Earning my living for a change,” and he laughed bitterly. “I can go West. ”

“ Miss Churchill said with deep feeling. “Miss Fanny, your father preached a good sermon last Sunday morning, about our longing for loveliness and grandeur which was far away, and not enjoying that right beside us, and our desiring to do some great thing, waiting [Pg 148] years for the opportunity, when we might have made our lives rich with the small daily deeds that are at our very finger ends. And how many of us long for Italy when we have clear skies and glowing sunsets at home that we know nothing about!” ”

“ Mr. Duncan’s visit here taught him some new ideas of duty. Not but what he would have been a just, even a kind brother in any event. But relationship counts for so little now-a-days. Very few people expect to be their brothers’ keepers. They are willing to do grand things for others, for the heathen, for some great accident that stirs up the sympathy of the whole world, but the common every day duties are tiresome.”
“They are,” said Fan. “It may be heterodox, but it is true all the same.”
“That is just it,” and Mrs. Whitcomb gave her sweet, tender smile that was worth a week of June sunshine. ”

“ Isn’t it so the world over? The sweetness and brightness of other lives comes into ours, sometimes the darkness and sorrow. We rarely stand alone.
“I believe I like frank, open natures the best;” he went on. “And cheerfulness. A great outgiving like the world and the sunshine.”
“But when one has been in a cave a long while the light dazzles. Some people do not want to take in but a little at a time, and perhaps we hurt them by thrusting so much into their very souls.”
“Yes,” he answered, “When a man is starving you do not feast him at once. I must remember that.”
Edith began to worry. ”

“ Girls are painters and poets and shop-keepers and teachers. When they marry, housework is distasteful to them. They do not know how to cook a dinner or make a dress, they cannot carry on a household in a pleasant, agreeable manner. They must board or depend upon servants. There is nothing but complaint and discouragement. They may be valuable members of society, but their time is too precious to be wasted upon real living. Every year homes become more rare.”
“It is too sadly true,” said papa. “There is a wide difference between a fashionable house and a pleasant home. ”

“ Papa, suppose you lock me up in the study? Then they will all flock to Rose, and it will be the same trouble over again. What are we to do?”
“Just now you had better find some employment. I cut out half a dozen aprons for Daisy yesterday;” said mamma.
“Then I will open my beloved machine, so good-bye to romance. Work and you are adversaries.”
I wondered how she could take events so coolly. She sang with her sewing as if her heart was as light as thistle-down.
Nelly in the meanwhile was made ready and sent off to visit an old parishioner, living on a farm thirty miles away. ”

“ Stephen Duncan had taken the boys West, and would be gone a month or more. They had grown so much, Mrs. Whitcomb said, and were almost men.
“Which do you like best?” asked Fan.
“I think Louis will make the nobler character. Stuart would rather take life just as it is, picking out the best for himself, to be sure, and not minding much what scraps fall to other people. He may feed the hungry after he is satisfied, he never will before.” ”

“ It is strange how the roots of things all get together after a while, as they stretch out feelers hither and thither. I used to think if there was one woman in the parish who resembled mamma in the sweet family interest that she managed to create about those who came within her circle it was Mrs. Ryder. Their house was just lovely. The parlor opened into the sitting-room, that into the dining-room, at the end of the hall, and from thence into the kitchen. They lived all the way through, as we did. You commenced in the parlor but you found every place just as good. ”

“ And she glanced at mamma.
“O, Miss Churchill, you rate me too highly,” returned Fanny. “Rose is a charming and sensible nurse. I never try nursing.”
“Mrs. Whitcomb has been staying with us, and our sick room has had to be kept very quiet,” said mamma. “Fanny would do better where society is needed.”
“And that is just Lucy’s case. Now, Miss Fanny, if your mamma can spare you, I will sew on your dress, or do anything to help make up the time.” ”

“ You see Kate and Allie West tried so hard for Mr. Ogden, and he kept by my side so easily. I had only to look. And Dick Fairlie was like a bear. Something has vexed him.”
“I thought he was cross this morning. But, oh, Fan, I wouldn’t have you do any thing to—to displease the Churchills.”
“And I wouldn’t, honestly Rose. This is nothing beyond summer pastime. Why can’t we all be bright and nice and social? It is a humbug to think of everybody’s falling in love. I don’t believe young people would think of it, only some one is afraid and speaks before the time, making a tangle of it all. ”

“ Phases of religious experiences were compared in a homely way, mixed up with the turning of a gown, or buying of a new carpet. With others grace and gardening went hand in hand. Such magnificent clove pinks, great double luscious blossoms!—blue salvias that were quite a rarity—ivies, geraniums—sick neighbors who enjoyed them—odd enough snatches where one couldn’t understand.
[Pg 186]
Well, is it not the true living after all? Is religion the sacred Sunday thing that must be laid by and not profaned by common every-day uses? ”

“ A tall vase of ivy stood on the floor, the green branches climbing over some picture-frames; and there were several brackets hanging about, holding vases of flowers, besides a luxuriant fernery, that had received contributions from all of us. The hall door opened on one side, while the stairs went up on the other, and in this sort of shut-off corner was our work-room.
“Yes, it is quite like a picture,” she went on. “It seems to me that a hall should be the largest and most beautiful part of the house, and that the family ought to be gathered there. ”

“ Mamma wouldn’t care half so much for me.”
“Mother-love goes around a good ways,” I said, a trifle resentfully.
“Yes. I don’t believe there is another woman in all Wachusett who loves her girls any better than your mother,” spoke up Dick, who always had been mamma’s great admirer. “And on the whole, I don’t know any girls who have a better time at home.”
“I believe Dick would like our mamma to open a foundling hospital,” said Kate, with a sneer. “As it is, he keeps the barn full of dogs and cats, for we will not have them in the house.” ”

“ I hope I shall not tire you out before the day is over,” said Miss Lucy.
“O, you will not, I am sure,” Fanny returned with her bright smile. “I am delighted to come.”
“And the sewing?” Miss Churchill exclaimed.
“I did all the long seams last evening, and Rose is to bind my trimming for me, but I am much obliged.”
“What industrious girls you are. I am almost conscience smitten. Are you quite sure you could be spared?” ”

“ There will be no nice home girls left. But perhaps these young ladies have a vocation?” and she glanced up with a charming, lady-like hesitation.
“Rose will be a home girl, Miss Churchill. The credit of our family will be saved. But I can’t decide whether I have a great deal of genius, and could do anything, or whether my range is so limited that the right thing would be difficult to find. I could not write a book, or lecture, or edit a newspaper. I might paint a second-rate picture, or, possibly, teach school; but I should not like the last.”
“Fanny!” said mamma in mild reproof. ”

“ Kenton always esteemed him highly.”
“He was more than that, Miss Churchill, he was an earnest Christian. If the household had been of one mind, workers in the vineyard, he would have lived a fuller and more joyous christian life. But we are to work our way through hindrances. God gave him grace and strength and perfected him in good deeds. I feel as if I had lost my mainstay in the church. He was not a man of many words, but you could rely upon him to the uttermost. ”

“ Not but what I consider finishing a great deal. Clean paths beautify a garden so much, but I have seen people just hoe off the tops and sprinkle gravel or sand over them. The weeds spring up after a rain.”
“Has not Louis the outside and inside faults as well?” asked Fan.
“Yes. Only his weeds are seldom covered up. Some folks never can cover up anything. He cannot be good outside until he has killed the weeds inside. Stuart may be fair all his life without any fighting.”
“He is good-tempered;” I subjoined.
“He has a pleasant, sunny temper, perfect health, and no nerves to speak of. ”

“ She always thought if she only had something another person possessed, she should be happier. I wondered a little how she would get along with mamma’s cares and worries, and sewing, to say nothing of the demands from outside.
“Ask your ma if she cannot come over. Hardly a soul has been in, and I can’t go anywhere for a bit of change. But poor people have to do the best they can in trouble.” ”

“ Frail as they are, they reflect many beautiful tints. And I suppose God could have made apples just as well without such showers of fragrant blooms, and He may put some people in the world for the sake of the blossom and the sweetness rather than the fruit. ”

“ I don’t believe any one will ever like me very much, because my hair is red, and I may be fat as Mrs. Downs. And if I should be an old maid,—and I know I shall,—I want you to love me a little; and if I’m queer and fussy, and all that, you must be patient with me. I will try to do my best always.”
“My dear darling! what a foolish little thing you are! Some of the old women have been talking to you, I know. I shall certainly have to turn the barrel upside down, and find the sermon on bridling the tongue. You are all little girls, and I will not have the bloom rudely rubbed off of my peaches. ”