Andrew Lang

“ With horrible grunts and roars the Firedrake tried to burn his way right through the flat body of the Remora, and to chase him to his cleft in the rock. But the Remora, hissing terribly, and visibly melting away in places, yet held his ground; and the prince could see his cold white folds climbing slowly up the hoofs of the Firedrake—up and up, till they reached his knees, and the great burning beast roared like a hundred bulls with the pain. Then up the Firedrake leaped, and hovering on his fiery wings, he lighted in the midst of the Remora’s back, and dashed into it with his horns. ”

“ Poor Lady Molinda could not but be hurt by the prince’s preference for death over marriage to her, little as she liked him.
“Is life, then, so worthless? and is Molinda so terrible a person that you prefer those arms,” and she pointed to the gibbet, “to these?”—here she held out her own, which were very white, round and pretty; for Molinda was a good-hearted girl, she could not bear to see Prigio put to death; and then, perhaps, she reflected that there are worse positions than the queenship of Pantouflia. For Alphonso was gone—crying would not bring him back. ”

“ When the experiment has failed, thy head shall from thy shoulders be shorn!’ So your man merely said, ‘Very well, mum,—your majesty, I mean,’ and sat down. The queen took her place at the edge of the carpet; I sat between her and the butler, and she said, ‘I wish I were in Gluckstein!’ Then we rose, flew through the air at an astonishing pace, and here we are! So I suppose the rest of the butler’s tale is true, which I regret; but a king’s word is sacred, and he shall take the place of that sneak, Prigio. ”

“ But the castle clock struck half-past seven; dinner was at eight, and the poor prince crawled on hands and knees to the garret. Here he put on the wishing-cap; wished for a pint of champagne, a hot bath, and his best black velvet and diamond suit. In a moment these were provided; he bathed, dressed, drank a glass of wine, packed up the head and tail of the Firedrake; sat down on the flying carpet, and knocked at the door of the English Ambassador as the clocks were striking eight’ in Gluckstein.
Punctuality is the politeness of princes; and a prince is polite when he is in love! ”

“ What was the horror of the exiled prince when he was aroused from slumber by the fiery breath of the dragon, and felt its scaly coils about him!
“Oh, hang your practical jokes!” exclaimed the prince, imagining that some of his courtiers were playing a prank on him.
“Do you call this a joke?” asked the dragon, twisting its forked tail into a line with his royal highness’s eye.
“Do take that thing away,” said the prince, “and let a man have his nap peacefully.‘’
“Kiss me!” cried the dragon, which had already devoured many gallant knights for declining to kiss it. ”

“ And the prince said:
“Oh, if you wish it, you shall have the horns and tail of a Firedrake to hang up in your hall, to-morrow evening!”
Then she asked if it was not very dangerous work, Firedrake hunting; and he said it was nothing, when you knew the trick of it: and he asked her if she would but give him a rose out of her bouquet; and, in short, he made himself so agreeable and unaffected, that she thought him very nice indeed.
For, even a clever person can be nice when he likes—above all, when he is not thinking about himself. ”

“ The prince did not like the looks of him.
“With all my cap of darkness, and my shoes of swiftness, and my sword of sharpness, I never could get near that beast,” he said; “and if I did stalk him, I could not hurt him. Poor little Alphonso! poor Enrico! what plucky fellows they were! I fancied that there was no such thing as a Firedrake: he’s not in the Natural History books; and I thought the boys were only making fun, and would be back soon, safe and sound. How horrid being too clever makes one! ”

“ Every man has one secret from his wife, and this shall be mine.”
Then he said aloud: “I wish to SEEM no CLEVERER THAN OTHER PEOPLE.”
Then he ran downstairs again, and the princess noticed a great difference in him (though, of course, there was really none at all) , and so did everyone. For the prince remained as clever as ever he had been; but, as nobody observed it, he became the most popular prince, and finally the best-beloved king who had ever sat on the throne of Pantouflia.
But occasionally Rosalind would say, “I do believe, my dear, that you are really as clever as ever!” ”

“ Here the king wept, among the tears of the lord chief justice, the poet laureate (who had been awfully frightened when he heard of the rattlesnakes) , the maids of honour, the chaplain royal, and everyone but Colonel McDougal, a Scottish soldier of fortune, who maintained a military reserve.
When his majesty had recovered, he said to Prigio (who had not been crying, he was too much absorbed) :
“A king’s word is his bond. Bring me a pen, somebody, and my cheque-book.” ”

“ By this time, you or I, or anyone who was not so extremely clever as Prince Prigio, would have understood what was the matter. He had put on, without knowing it, not only the seven-league boots, but the cap of darkness, and had taken Fortunatus’s purse, which could never be empty, however often you took all the money out. All those and many other delightful wares the fairies had given him at his christening, and the prince had found them in the dark garret. But the prince was so extremely wise, and learned, and scientific, that he did not believe in fairies, nor in fairy gifts. ”

“ Enrico was present when Prigio was consoling the king in this unfeeling way.
“Enrico, my boy,” said his majesty, “the task awaits you, and the honour. When you come back with the horns and tail of the Fire-drake, you shall be crown prince; and Prigio shall be made an usher at the Grammar School—it is all he is fit for.”
Enrico was not quite so confident as Alphonso had been. He insisted on making his will; and he wrote a poem about the pleasures and advantages of dying young. ”

“ I’m sure I am very sorry,” cried the prince, who, never having been in love himself, never thought of other people. And he tried to take Molinda’s hand, but she snatched it from him and ran away through the garden to the palace, leaving Prince Prigio to feel foolish, for once, and ashamed.
As for Lady Kathleena, she swept past him like a queen, without a word. So the prince, for all his cleverness, was not happy. ”

“ Yet he had a pair on at that very moment, and it was they which had carried him in three strides from the palace to Gluckstein!
The truth is, that the prince, in looking about the palace for clothes, had found his way into that very old lumber-room where the magical gifts of the fairies had been thrown by his clever mother, who did not believe in them. But this, of course, the prince did not know.
Now you should be told that seven-league boots only take those prodigious steps when you say you want to go a long distance. ”

“ He can’t stay here for ever; and without his carpet he can’t get away, for the soldiers have orders to seize him as soon as he appears in the street. And in the meantime Benson will be pretending that he killed the Firedrake—for he must have got to Falkenstein by now,—and they will be for marrying him to the king’s niece, and making my butler crown prince to the kingdom of Pantouflia! ”

“ Prigio of Pantouflia will perish by his own hand.”
The king, whose mind did not work very quickly, took some minutes to think over it. Then he saw that by granting the prince’s conditions, he would either recover his dear sons, or, at least, get rid of Prigio, without the unpleasantness of having him executed. For, though some kings have put their eldest sons to death, and most have wished to do so, they have never been better loved by the people for their Roman virtue. ”

“ He hunted the castle through in vain, and then went out to the stable-yard; but all the dogs, of course, had been taken away, and the farmers had offered homes to the poultry. At last, stretched at full length in a sunny place, the prince found a very old, half-blind, miserable cat. The poor creature was lean, and its fur had fallen off in patches; it could no longer catch birds, nor even mice, and there was nobody to give it milk. But cats do not look far into the future; and this old black cat—Frank was his name—had got a breakfast somehow, and was happy in the sun. ”

“ I despise him!”
“I was about to say, sir,” the prince went on, “that I cannot possibly have the pleasure of wedding my cousin.”
“The family gibbet, I presume, is in good working order?” asked the king of the family executioner, a tall gaunt man in black and scarlet, who was only employed in the case of members of the blood royal.
“Never better, sire,” said the man, bowing with more courtliness than his profession indicated.
“Very well,” said the king; “Prince Prigio, you have your choice. There is the gallows, here is Lady Molinda. My duty is painful, but clear. A king’s word cannot be broken. ”

“ Prince Prigio was now called on to speak.
He admitted that the reward was offered for bringing the horns and tail, not for killing the monster. But were the king’s intentions to go for nothing? When a subject only meant well, of course he had to suffer; but when a king said one thing, was he not to be supposed to have meant another? Any fellow with a waggon could bring the horns and tail; the difficult thing was to kill the monster. If Benson’s claim was allowed, the royal prerogative of saying one thing and meaning something else was in danger. ”

“ Since mine was another’s, I understand too well the feeling of yours! Do not let us buy life at the price of happiness and honour.”
Then, turning to the king, the prince said:
“Sir, is there no way but by death or marriage? p. 121You say you cannot keep half only of your promise; and that, if I accept the reward, I must also unite myself with my unwilling cousin. Cannot the whole proclamation be annulled, and will you consider the bargain void if I tear up this flimsy scroll?”
And here the prince fluttered the cheque for £1,000,000 in the air. ”

“ Then the prince set him down, and he ran round and round after his tail; and, lastly, cocked his tail up, and marched proudly after the prince into the castle.
“Oh, Frank!” said Prince Prigio, “no cat since the time of Puss in Boots was ever so well taken care of as you shall be. For, if the fairy water from the Fountain of Lions can bring you back to life—why, there is a chance for Alphonso and Enrico!” ”

“ My proclamation offered, not only the money (which you have) , but the hand of the Lady Molinda, which the Court chaplain will presently make your own. I congratulate you, sir; Molinda is a dear girl.”
“I have the highest affection and esteem for my cousin, sir,” said the prince, “but:—”
“I’ll never marry him!” cried poor Molinda, kneeling at the throne, where her streaming eyes and hair made a pretty and touching picture. “Never! I despise him!” ”

“ Put on your armour, and be off with you!”
This the king said, hoping that either the Firedrake would roast Prince Prigio alive (which he could easily do, as I have said; for he is all over as hot as a red-hot poker) , or that, if the prince succeeded, at least his country would be freed from the monster.
But the prince, who was lying on the sofa doing sums in compound division, for fun, said in the politest way:
“Thanks to the education your majesty has given me, I have learned that the Firedrake, like the siren, the fairy, and so forth, is a fabulous animal which does not exist. ”

“ The prince almost fainted: everything seemed to swim; and in one moment more he would have fallen stiff on the mountain-top, and the white head would have crawled over him, and the cold coils would have slipped over him and turned him to stone. And still the thing slipped up, from the chink under the mountain. ”

“ It was an account of a voyage to the moon, in which there is a great deal of information about matters not generally known; for few travellers have been to the moon. In that book, Prince Prigio fancied he would find something he half remembered, and that would be of use to him. And he did! So you see that cleverness, and minding your book, have some advantages, after all. For here the prince learned that there is a very rare beast called a Remora, which is at least as cold as the Firedrake is hot! ”

“ But even granting, for the sake of argument, that there is a Firedrake, your majesty is well aware that there is no kind of use in sending me. It is always the eldest son who goes out first, and comes to grief on these occasions, and it is always the third son that succeeds. Send Alphonso” (this was the youngest brother) , “and he will do the trick at once. At least, if he fails, it will be most unusual, and Enrico can try his luck.”
Then he went back to his arithmetic and his slate, and the king had to send for Prince Alphonso and Prince Enrico. They both came in very warm ”

“ Your only reason for dispatching your sons in pursuit of this dangerous but I believe fabulous animal, was to ascertain which of us would most worthily succeed to your throne, at the date—long may it be deferred!—of your lamented decease. Now, there can be no further question about the matter. I, unworthy as I am, represent the sole hope of the royal family. ”

“ The people were much distressed, and came and broke the palace win-dows—as they usually do when things go wrong in Pantouflia.
The king consulted the learned men about the Court, who told him that probably a FIREDRAKE was in the neighbourhood.
Now, the Firedrake is a beast, or bird, about the bigness of an elephant. Its body is made of iron, and it is always red-hot. A more terrible and cruel beast cannot be imagined ”

“ The other people were just as much in fault for being born so stupid; but the world, my dear children, can never be induced to remember this. If you are clever, you will find it best not to let people know it—if you want them to like you.
Well, here was the prince in a pretty plight. Not a pound in his pocket, not a pair of boots to wear, not even a cap to cover his head from the rain; nothing but cold meat to eat, and never a servant to answer the bell.
CHAPTER V.—What Prince Prigio found in the garret.
THE prince walked from room to room of the palace ”