Anne Warner

“ Jilkins wouldn't settle; there's no denyin' Mr. Jilkins saw what a good thing he'd got when his wife went off in that automobile; so then the man in the cap hustled in town, got a bicycle, an' scurried after her 's fast 's he could paddle."
"Did they find—?" inquired Mrs. Lathrop.
"Not when I come home they hadn't. The man in goggles had took Mr. Jilkins to the hotel fer dinner, an' Mr. Jilkins was tickled to death, f'r he never eat in a hotel in his life before. If he goes off, he always gets back or else takes a lunch." ”

“ Lathrop, thoughtfully.
"O' course there wouldn't be nothin' very romantic in marryin' the deacon; an' yet, when you come right square down to it, I don't see no good an' sufficient reasons f'r long hair bein' romantic an' big ears not. Anyway, I sh'u'd consider 't a man's can clean a sink, an' will clean a sink, was a sight safer to marry 'n one 's whose big hit was standin' up the ends o' his mustache. An' besides, you can have the man with the sink, an' the man with the mustache wouldn't even turn round to look at you the first time." ”

“ Macy an' her cat. Mr. Jilkins says his horse ain't afraid o' nothin' on earth only threshin'-machines, men asleep, an' bicycles; but it never 'd seen a' automobile afore, an' it jumped right into it. Well, him in goggles an' his friend in damages jumped right out, an' the automobile run into the fence an' run over the colt, an' spilled Mr. an' Mrs. Jilkins an' the horse all out. The horse fell down an' Mrs. Jilkins couldn't get up, an' the man in the cap wanted to settle fer five hundred dollars right on the spot. ”

“ I can easy sew up the heel myself, so I went on down-town feelin' pretty good. There ain't many things about me 't I can sew up as I wouldn't split fer a quarter any day. The automobile went on ahead, an' by the time I got to the square it had had time to nm down the minister.
"He was crossin' from Mr. Kimball's to Mr. Dill's, an' stopped short fer fear it 'u'd run over him. Not knowin' the minister's make-up, they'd calc'lated on his goin' on when he see a' automobile comin'; an' so it was all over him in a jiffy. I don' know what his wife 'll ever say, fer his hat is completely bu'st. ”

“ He says jus' as soon 's he's married he's goin' off fer a good long trip, all alone."
Susan ceased speaking for a little; Mrs. Lathrop looked dazed and dubious.
"It's so unex—" she said slowly.
"The beginnin' o' gettin' married always is," said her friend; "but it's all there is about it's is even unexpected. It's all cut an' dried from there on. Once you take a man, nothin' 's ever sudden no more. Folks expects all sorts o' pleasant surprises; everybody seems to get married f'r better, an' then get along f'r worse. ”

“ However, they settled with him—hat, feelin's, an' all—for ten dollars, an' he went on over to Mr. Dill's. I said 't if I was his wife I'd anchor him in the middle o' the square an' let automobiles run up an' down him all day long at that price. I said it to Mrs. Craig; she come up to ask me 'f it was really true about you an' the deacon. She says no one can believe it o' the deacon. She says Mr. Jilkins was in town last night, an' he was very mad when he heard of it. He thinks it's a reflection. He says folks 'll say it looks like his sister wasn't wife enough for one man. ”

“ I told her nobody couldn't say nothin' about it 't I wouldn't agree to, considerin' your age an' his ears. I told her 't it didn't seem to me 's marryin' was anyways necessary to the business o' the world. ”