“ Noakes, your hat, I believe," interposed Eves, handing him the sodden, shapeless object which he had retrieved from the stream. Mr. Noakes snatched it from him, turned away, and started downhill. Never a word had he said; but there was a world of malevolence in his eye.
"We had better get back and dress," said Templeton.
"What on earth for?"
"Well, we can hardly repair the dam in our pyjamas."
Eves laughed.
"You're a priceless old fathead," he said. "Repairs must wait till the morning. I can never do any work after a rag." ”

“ Templeton recovered himself, stopped his engine, rammed on his brakes, and, least bemired of all the actors, got down to make his apologies. Eves and O'Reilly by this time were shaking with laughter. Noakes, seeing that the machine had come to a stop, approached the contrite driver with uplifted fist, too irate even to speak. He had tried to rub the splashes of mud from his cheeks, with the result that he had only spread them. ”

“ Eves went on; "there's a text for you. Cleanliness is an acquired taste, like smoking. The mewling infant, with soapsuds in his eyes, rages like the heathen. The schoolboy, panting from his first immersion—my hat!"
The expected had happened. During Eves's harangue, the water had been eating away the pile of soil and rubbish which had been loosened by Mr. Noakes's exertions. Without warning, the dam against which the man was leaning gave way. He fell backward; there was a swirl and a flurry, and Mr. Noakes, carried off his feet by the rush of water, was rolled down stream. ”

“ I bet I can rattle my tongue faster than Nahum Noakes. By George! Bobby, what an awful name!"
"You don't understand, Tom. It isn't talk that's wanted. The question is, is he sincere? If he is—well, what about free speech?"
"A free kick is more to the purpose. But what are you driving at?"
"Well, oughtn't we to find out if he really has a conscientious objection?—test him, you know? Mrs. Trenchard seemed to doubt it, and if he's a humbug he ought to be exposed."
"Just so, Socrates. I'll kick him, and see how he takes it. You can't take him to pieces like a clock, and examine his innards." ”

“ It seemed, indeed, that there would be no necessity to dig the channels of which Templeton had spoken, the slope of the ground and the natural fan-like spreading of the streams promising that in due time the whole field would be thoroughly watered. Tired, but well pleased with the success of their experiment, they returned to the farmhouse.
Mr. Trenchard had been absent all the afternoon. At tea they told him what they had done, and he cheerfully assented to their suggestion that he should go with them to the ridge and see for himself their irrigation works. ”

“ Eves waved his hand gleefully.
"Splendid!" he cried, as Templeton halted the machine beside the cart. "A new invention, Mrs. Trenchard."
"'Tis like the butcher's contraption I saw in the town, only the box is behind instead of afore. What be the hidden meaning of that, I'd like to know?"
"It won't be hidden long, Mrs. Trenchard. But the sun will be hidden; there'll be an eclipse to-night."
"Go along with your rubbish, Mr. Eves. The sun will go down at his proper time, whatever the clocks do say; they Parlyment men up along at Lunnon can't make no eclipses, don't think it." ”

“ Eves grinned.
"'Tis true," the good woman went on; "it do need the brush. But there, what can you do when the milingtary takes the only sweep in the village and makes a soldier of him? I declare I didn't know him, he was so clean. 'Tis a strange thought: the war makes men clean and chimneys dirty."
"And takes away my appetite," said Eves, with his mouth half full of bacon. "Look here, Mrs. Trenchard, you're going to market to-morrow morning; why shouldn't we sweep the chimney for you while you're away? I'm sure Templeton and I could do it, and we'd like to, awfully." ”

“ I'm the mayor, I tell 'ee!"
"I really think he's telling the truth," said Templeton.
Just then Noakes, kicking out, dealt Templeton a heavy blow on the ankle.
"You had better lie still, whoever you are!" said the latter, warmly. "Violence won't help you!"
"Of course not—only makes things ten times worse!" said Eves. "Catch his legs, Bob; if he isn't quiet we'll have to truss him up. I never came across such an impudent scoundrel. Here's a burglar, caught in the act, claiming to be the chief magistrate! That beats everything! How's it possible? ”

“ I'm not the man to say anything against inventions."
"I am glad to hear you have invented something useful, Robert. Was that tar entanglement that your friend spoke of also an invention of yours?"
"Well, yes, Aunt, it was," said Templeton, somewhat embarrassed. "It was an idea for worrying the Germans, you know. But, of course—here's Tom, he'll explain better than I can."
"Oh, I say!" protested Eves, who had just come in. Then he began to laugh. "My word! He did look funny—tar from head to foot. ”

“ During the next minute there was a rough-and-tumble in which Noakes's legs played as free a part as was possible to a man encased in a long waterproof. He displayed astounding agility in evading close action, and it was not until Eves caught him by the heel as he kicked out that he was brought to the ground. "I'll sit on him," said Eves. "Ring up the police station, Bob, and ask them to send a constable to arrest a burglar." ”

“ The yacht topped the crest. On the moor to the left a vast assemblage of huts and tents broke upon the view. By the roadside was parked a row of motor lorries. Here and there men were moving about. They stared and shouted to one another at the sight of the strange vehicle sailing towards them, or rather running now merrily on the last gill of petrol. Templeton narrowly escaped colliding with the nearest lorry, then slowed down and enquired the way to the commandant's office. ”

“ Eves stuck out his legs and pondered. Suddenly he sat up straight.
"By Jove, I've got it!" he cried. "We'll stink him out."
"How do you mean? It would have to be a powerful stink to upset a fellow who can smoke that tobacco."
"Of course; and I haven't wasted my time in the lab, old man. I never took any interest in chemistry till I learnt how to make stinks. What about H2S? The very thing. Splendid! We've got the acid; all we want is—by Jove! where can we get some iron pyrites? That means another trip to Weymouth." ”

“ Trenchard, having been "there and back," was full of the story.
"Ay me, to think of a nice pleasant young gentleman like Mr. Wilfred lying at death's door through one o' they dratted airyplanes! That venturesome he always was, as a little small chiel. 'Tis against Nature to try to fly like the birds, that's what I say, and what can you expect? The world do be turning topsy-turvy, and all through they Germans."
That night, just as Eves had turned over to sleep, he was roused by a call from Templeton in his companion bed. ”

“ Trenchard has told you about old Noakes, I expect."
"Mr. Trenchard has told me things about Mr. Noakes that I cannot credit. But I do not understand—a tar entanglement, you said?"
"Yes, an invention of Bob's, you know; a splendid thing. But there's such a lot to tell: won't you go into the house? Then Bob and I can tell you between us."
"Very well. Give the driver ten shillings for his fare."
"I've only four and elevenpence half-penny," said Eves, with a smile.
"Dear me! Then I must ask the driver to come to the house. My notes are in my dressing-case. One cannot be too careful." ”

“ When Templeton came in a minute later he found Eves sitting back in a chair, shaking with laughter.
"My word, what a frightful mess!" exclaimed Templeton. "I forgot all about a covering. It's nothing to laugh at."
"Oh, isn't it! If you'd only seen him, soot all over his greasy head, and the more he rubbed his face the worse it got."
"What on earth are you talking about?"
"Old Noakes. It's a priceless invention, Bob. Great minds don't think of little things, but I remembered the covering and fetched these two sacks. When I got back Noakes was here, prying into Trenchard's papers. ”

“ Templeton, however, had not come to this remote rural spot merely to work on the land. He had a serious belief that he was cut out for an inventor, the only ground for which was an astonishing fertility of ideas. At school he was always in hot water with the masters; he would rather construct an automatic hair-cutter than a Latin prose. The prospect of a six or seven weeks' stay in the quiet village, with the sea within a mile, held promise for Templeton of many opportunities for working out his ideas. ”

“ The night was undisturbed, and next morning Eves, leaving Templeton to keep watch, went down to the village to consult Constable Haylock.
"Can a bailiff, or whatever you call him, force his way into a house?" he asked, meeting the constable near the bridge.
"Well now, that's queer, danged if it bain't," said the constable. "I've been axed that very same question a'ready this morning. It do seem there's debts and executions in the wind, and folks come to me, as stands for law and justice, to know their true rights."
"They couldn't come to a better man, I'm sure," said Eves. ”

“ Wilkins, the manager, was short-handed: indeed Templeton found himself more often than not in sole charge of the garage, for Wilkins was frequently absent, driving his only serviceable car for the officers of the camp a few miles away. Thus, when Eves made his appearance on this bright, windy December morning, he found his old friend, encased in the blue overalls of a mechanic, alone in the repairing shop, and engrossed in the job he had in hand. ”

“ If a man can't be decent in other things, let him at least be clean. There was young Barker, now, a wretched little scug who wore his hair long, and always had a high-water mark round his neck. My friend Templeton, of whose ingenuity you have seen proofs, had an excellent invention for an automatic hair-cutter. But I am wandering from the point, which was, in a word, how to be happy though clean——"
Eves was becoming breathless. He wondered whether he could hold out. Templeton gazed at him with astonishment; as for Mr. Noakes, he looked angry, puzzled, utterly at sea. ”

“ Eves went on, "your reversible arrangements don't act. You can't steer the thing straight. It goes like a crab, or a drunk. Swing round again, for goodness' sake. Here's a wagon coming; I don't want to be chucked under the wheels."
"All right," said Templeton, with composure, turning round. "It's only a slight hitch. Of course, the clutch connection is roughly made; I did the best I could with my materials; but you see the idea's all right, and it'll be easy enough to correct the defects."
"You won't think of showing the thing to O'Reilly in its present state?"
"Why not? He's a practical man." ”

“ They carried the machine to the top.
"I bag first go," said Eves.
"No, I can't agree to that," said Templeton. "You see, though I'm pretty sure it will work all right, there's bound to be a certain risk, and as it's my idea I ought to test it."
"That's no reason at all. Cooks never eat their own cake. Besides, if there is an accident, much better it should happen to me than you. I'm not an inventor." ”

“ Eves smiled as he watched him through the window.
"Old Bob's excited this morning," he thought. "Another rag, I wonder?"
Templeton's usual stolidity was in fact quite broken down by the arrival of the nozzle made to his own design, for which he had been waiting in order to complete his reconstruction of the ancient road-sweeper. At breakfast he was too much excited to do full justice to the dish of bacon and eggs which the excellent Mrs. Pouncey had provided.
"It's just the thing, Tom," he cried. "It fits perfectly, and I believe the old 'bus will go like one o'clock. ”

“ If that be the kind of thing Miss Caroline's cook do give her, 'tis time I was back in my old place, that it be."
Eves laughed as he handed the list back to Templeton.
"There are a dozen more things," he said; "if they're all as good, old man, Aunt Caroline will get a shock when she's heckled."
"Bless 'ee, sir, and who'll be so bold?" said Mrs. Trenchard. "Folks 'll listen, ay sure, as meek as lambs; but buy them things—never in the world."
"Well, Bob, you must take the list to Noakes. You must do something for your tenner. Tell you what: I'll go to Weymouth for the chemicals and things. ”

“ I will give you good notice, and rely on you to ensure me a large audience.
"Your affectionate aunt, "CAROLINE TEMPLETON."
"Excellent Aunt Caroline!" exclaimed Eves. "But your 'arduous work,' Bobby. My hat!"
"I work jolly hard."
"The labour we delight in don't show on our reports, old man. Anyway, you've got a tenner. Better an aunt in England than a pater in India. The old boy's all right, of course; I don't blame him, but that old mummy of a solicitor who manages things here. He'll pay Mother Trenchard's weekly bills on the nail, but he won't send me another penny till next quarter day ”

“ Templeton was sketching out a specification, and did not hear what she said. Eves gave her a cheerful au revoir from the depths of the chair where he lay at ease, and smiled at her retreating form.
"'Tis like that, sir," said the farmer, catching his look. "'There and back' in our family do mean a gossip with Martha Runt."
"The wife of Runt the smith?"
"Ay, that be the woman. I've not a word to say against Martha—not a word; but she be a rare workman with her tongue. We shan't see no more of Mother till supper-time." ”