Clarence E. Mulford

“ Red turned to the brakeman, who had just returned: "Say," he whispered, "get off at th' next stop, shoot off a gun, an' yell, just for fun. Go ahead, it 'll be better 'n a circus."
"Nix on the circus, says I," hastily replied the other. "I ain't looking for no excitement, an' I ain't paid to amuse th' passengers. I hope we don't even run over a track-torpedo this side of Sandy Creek."
Hopalong returned, and as he came even with them the train slowed.
"What are we stopping for?" he asked, his hand going to his holster. ”

“ Skinny laughed. Then, turning to the conductor: "How do you feel, Simms?"
"Oh, I 'm all right: but it took the starch out of me for awhile."
"Well, I don't wonder, not a bit."
"You fellows certainly don't waste any time getting busy," Simms laughed.
"That's the secret of gun-fightin'," replied Skinny.
"Well, you 're a fine crowd all right. Any time you want to go any place when you 're broke, climb aboard my train and I 'll see't you get there."
"Much obliged."
Simms turned to the express-car: "Hey, Jackson! You can open up now if you want to." ”

“ Hopalong looked around aggressively: "We 're passengers, ain't we?"
"You certainly are."
"Well, if any misguided maverick gets it into his fool head to stick us up, you see what happens. Don't you know th' fellers outside have all th' worst o' th' deal?"
"They have not!" cried the brakeman.
"They 've got all the best of it," asserted the conductor emphatically. "I 've been inside, and I know."
"Best nothing!" cried Hopalong. "They are on th' ground, watching a danger-line over a hundred yards long, full of windows and doors. ”

“ The baggage smoking-car reeked with strong tobacco, the clouds of smoke shifting with the air currents, and dimly through the haze could be seen several men. Three of these were playing cards near the baggage-room door, while two more lounged in a seat half way down the aisle and on the other side of the car. Across from the card-players, reading a magazine, was a fat man, and near the water cooler was a dyspeptic-looking individual who was grumbling about the country through which he was passing. ”

“ Hopalong and Red turned, perceived the weapon, and then exchanged winks.
"That's a fine shootin'-iron, stranger," gravely remarked Hopalong.
"You bet it is!" purred the owner, proudly. "I paid six dollars for that gun."
Lanky smothered a laugh and his friend grinned broadly: "I reckon that 'd kill a man—if you stuck it in his ear."
"Pshaw!" snorted the dyspeptic, scornfully. "You would n't have time to get it out of that grip. Think a train-robber is going to let you unpack? Why don't you carry it in your hip-pocket, where you can get at it quickly?" ”

“ Hopalong came up and grinned: "Say, there 's some cayuses in that grove up th' track; shall I go up an' get 'em?"
"Shore! I 'll go an' get 'em with you," replied Skinny.
In the grove they found seven horses picketed, two of them being pack-animals, and they led them forth and reached the train as the others came up.
"Well, here 's five saddled cayuses, an' two others," Skinny grinned.
"Then we can ride th' rest of th' way in th' saddle instead of in that blamed train," Red eagerly suggested.
"That's just what we can do," replied Skinny. "Leather beats car-seats any time. ”

“ We ain't robbers; we licked th' robbers."
Suddenly he stooped and, grasping a pair of legs which protruded into the aisle obstructing the passage, straightened up and backed towards Red, who had just entered the car, dragging into sight a portly gentleman, who kicked and struggled and squealed, as he grabbed at the stanchions of seats to stay his progress. Red stepped aside between two seats and let his friend pass, and then leaned over and grasped the portly gentleman's coat-collar. ”

“ Red laughed. "Th' cleaning-up must have been sumptuous an' elevating."
"Every time I holds threes he allus has better," growled Lanky to Simms.
"On th' level, we could n't do a thing," the brakeman ran on. "There 's a water tank a little farther on, and they must 'a' climbed aboard there when we stopped to connect. When we got into the gulch the train slowed down and stopped and I started to get up to go out and see what was the matter; but I saw that when I looked down a gun-barrel. ”