David Rorie

“ What wi' sanitries, cruelties, an' bobbies,
An' the doctors would pit ye in fair fear o' death
Wi' their blethers o' German macrobbies!
I've been at their lectures on health an' High Jean,
Gude kens that I niver was wearier!
Use your ain commonsense when ye're treating' your wean,
An' ye'll find that there's naethin' superior! ”

“ He fairly roondit on her.
"Ye're aye gaun to dee, gude-wife-
Fowre nichts I hinna sleepit,
Gin it's to be, I wush to peace
Ye'd set a day an' keep it!"
Wow! noo there was a tirravee!
An angry wife was she, than!
"An' is it no' my ain affair
The day I'm gaun to dee, than!
Aha! ye think ye'll tryst the wricht
An' rid him o' his timmer?
Syne haud anither waddin' wi'
Some feckless, thowless limmer!"
Awyte, but noo she's fu' o' life
She's ta'en anither tack o't!
An' aye that she flees oot on him
His words is at the back o't! ”

“ There's ne'er a bairn they hae that thrives,
It's aye the kink-hoast or the hives
That's gaun to gar them dee, O!
Tak' ony job ye like ava!
Tak' trade, the poopit or the law,
But gin ye're wise ye'll haud awa'
Frae medical degree, O!
THE CRAMBO-CLINK. Afore there was law to fleg us a',
An' schedule richt frae wrang,
The man o' the cave had got the crave
For the lichtsome lilt o' sang.
Wife an' strife an' the pride o' life,
Woman an' war an' drink ”

“ If ye'll have me, my laddie, I'm game!"
An' he druve his ain trap seeven mile through the snaw
That nicht that the bairnie cam' hame.
Ay! an' cracked like a pen-gun the hail o' the road
An' though I was prooder than ask,
When he fand I was grewsin' awa' at his side
He filled me near fou frae his flask.
Syne when a' thing was owre an' I gruppit his han'
Says the wife, "We maun gie him the name!"
An' there's aye been a gude word for him i' the hoose
Sin' the nicht that the bairnie cam' hame.
HUMAN NATUR'. ”

“ W waddin', wedding. waesomely, woefully. wag-at-the-wa', wall clock with long pendulum. wale, choose. wame, belly. wark, work. warl, world. warsled, wrestled. warslin', wrestling. warst, worst. wat, wet; wat his whustle, took a drink. wauken, waken. waur, worse. wean, child. weel, well. weel-a-wat, I think truly. weel-on, well on, fairly drunk. weet, wet; to weet the bairnie's heid, to drink the health of the new-born child. ”

“ He's plenty o' siller, ye're sure o' your fee,
Just gie him a soondin', an' gin he's to dee,
Come oot wi' the truth-dinna fash for a lee,
It'll no' pit the shakers on me!
What! Juist heepocondry? Nocht wrang wi his chest?
The Deil flee awa' wi' the man for a pest!
To think o' me lossin' sae mony nichts' rest
An' him pittin' the shakers on me!
Ay, though he may rout like the bull in the park,
I'se warrant the morn he's on wi' his sark,
An' aff wi' the rest o' the men till his wark,
An' he'll no' pit the shakers on me! ”

“ Pomades to gar hair grow on horns,
He'd stuff for healin' beelin' lugs,
He'd stuff for suffocatin' bugs,
He'd stuff for feshin' up your denners,
Against your wull an' a' gude menners,
A' kin' o' queer cahoochy goods
To suit the system's varyin' moods,
Wi' navvies' operatin' peels,
Sookers for bairns an' fishin' reels,
In fac'-but losh! I'd better stop,
The mannie kep' a druggist's shop!
An' in his bauchles an' his breeches
Cam' grum'lin' doon to get the leeches
While, nearly scunnert wi' their squirmin',
Aff hirples Girsie wi' the vermin. ”

“ A' kin's to mak' a warl'!
DROGGIE. Yersel' is't? Imphm! Man that's bad!
A kin' o' thinness o' the blude?
Gaed aff las' nicht intil a dwam?
Keep's a'! But that's rale nesty, Tam!
An' lossin' taste noo for the dram?
(An' may it dae ye muckle gude!)
Noo! See the libel! "Thrice a day
A tablespunefu' efter food."
Drogues is nae better than they're ca'ed?
Some drumlie-like? Losh! ye're a lad!
The taste'll be byordnar' bad?
(An' may it dae ye muckle gude!) ”

“ An' gets a gude sweerin' an' syne some cocaine.
The fire was ta'en oot then, to Sandy's great glee,
An' he spent the neist week wi' a drap in his e'e.
THE TRICKSTER. 'Twas the turn o' the nicht when a' was quate
An' niver a licht to see,
That Death cam' stappin' the clachan through
As the kirk knock chappit three.
An' even forrit he keepit the road,
Nor lookin' to either side,
But heidin' straucht for the eastmost hoose
Whaur an auld wife used to bide. ”

“ F fa', fall. fand, found. fash, trouble. faurer, farther. fearsome, frightful. fecht, fight. feckless, weak, spiritless, worthless. fegs, an affirmative exclamation, a corruption of Faith. fell, hot, acute. ferlies, wonders. fesh, fetch. fin', find, feel. finger't, fingered, palpated. fire (in his e'e) , a foreign body. firin', fire-wood. firstlins, first products. fish-hake, a wooden frame on which to hang fish. flang, flung. flannen, flannel. flee, fly; flee out on, scold. ”

“ Juist gie her a nip o' a gude yalla cheese,
An' ye'll find that there's naethin' superior!
The doctor had said that ye shouldna row'r ticht,
Ye should aye gie the wee cratur's belly scope?
Awa' wi' the lang-leggit lum-hattit fricht
Wi' his specks an' his wee widden tellyscope!
What kens he o' littlens? He's nane o' his ain,
If she greets it juist keeps the hoose cheerier,
See! THAT was the wey I did a' my fourteen,
An' ye'll find that there's naethin' superior! ”

“ An' on my drogues ye may depen'.
(An' may they dae ye muckle gude!)
Forgot your siller? Hae ye though?
Ye're in a richt forgetfu' mood!
Gie't ye on tick? I ken ye fine?
An' whustle on my fingers, syne!
Lat's see that bottle! Here's your line!
(An' may it dae ye muckle gude!)
THE WEE DRAP. He's a muckle man, Sandy, he's mair nor sax fit
A size that's no' handy for wark i' the pit,
But frae a' bad mis-chanters he'd aye keepit free
Excep'in' that nicht he'd a fire in his e'e. ”

“ The body startit failin' fast
An' gettin' auld an' nirled.
An' syne, to weet the bairnie's heid
Owre muckle, whiles, they'd gie her;
But noo she's deid-ay, mony a year-
An' Andra's sleepin' wi' her.
DAYLICHT HAS MONY EEN. O! ”

“ B Ba', ball; to get on the ba', to go on a jollification, to get drunk. bade, stayed. bairnie, child. baith, both. bane-doctorin', bone-setting. banned, cursed. barley-bree, whisky. bathered, bothered. bauchles, old shoes, slippers. bedfast, bed-ridden. beelin', suppurating. beerit, buried. besom, broom; a woman of loose character. bide, stay. biggin', building. biled, boiled. billy, fellow. birled, moved quickly. birr, vigour, force. birse, bristle; to get one's birse set up, to get in a rage. bit, at the bit, at the finish. bleeze, blaze, fire. blude, blood. body, person ”

“ For says auld Jock Smairt, wha was passin' wi' his cairt:
"Ye've a gey gude crap," says he.
Cauld blew the blast frae East to Wast,
A blast baith snell an' keen,
An' the washin' o' the clarty wife
Sailed aff the washin' green,
An' it landit on the midden-heid,
Whaur nae washin' ought to be-
An' says auld jock Smairt, wha was passin' wi' his cairt:
"Weel, hame's aye hame," says he. ”