Edwin Balmer

“ But no one knew better than Myra that Alice never could do it; no one more fully realized the force of that tremendous, initial advantage which David had taken of Alice when he came to college, an overworked, serious and awkward boy, so strange to social manners that others laughed at him but Alice drew to his defense; no one better undestood that Alice never could hope to find, nor could she ever have heart to seek for, a substitute for her love for David which had been growing throughout the four years they had been developing from girl and boy together. ”

“ So Alice was on the opposite side of the aisle from Dave and her place was a couple of rows behind him; for she liked a position from which she could see him and she had a way of keeping him in sight without even her seatmates suspecting how frequently she gazed at him.
A class with him always made a delightful hour for Alice—a quiet, unhurried hour during which she would consider him with deep, dreaming satisfaction. Here he was near her but making no demand upon her. She liked to have him make demands; how would she ever live without his needing her? ”

“ So, in spite of that five-minute-ago defiance of fear of physical possession, Dave satisfied himself now with switching on the light again to see her face—the clear, dear line of her forehead and nose, the soft dark brown of her hair and the blueness of her eyes always open to his. She had lovely eyes and so loyal looking—unswervingly loyal to him, indeed, ever since that day, long ago, when they rested on his in a way he would never forget and she said: "We're going to be good friends forever, aren't we, you and I?" ”

“ Dave couldn't imagine it; her splendid body must always be warm.
It was for Fidelia a night when she felt like going to the point of exhaustion, when she gloried in giving herself to the sensation of spending her strength and feeling how much more she had to spend. She enjoyed this sensation particularly in company; and in David Herrick she found endurance equal to her own.
Her impulse of self-reproach at bringing him here, had passed; he was with her because he wanted to be, instead of being with Alice Sothron in that warm house now lost amid the lights of the distant shore. ”

“ He felt himself struggling in the stream of Time washing him on into that endless Eternity which made him tired, which he would not have but instead of which he would have his wife.
A psalm set to beating in his brain:
"Lord, thou hast been our dwelling place in all Generations.
"Before the mountains were brought forth, or ever thou hadst formed the earth and the world, even from everlasting thou art God." ”

“ Men are remarkable creatures, Alice, with their ideas. Thank God Lan takes to normal, scientific, rationalistic notions. Yet he's overtaken with sentiment sometimes. Of course he is about me; I like it. He suddenly insisted on a real father-give-away-the-bride wedding with flower girls and potted palms everywhere. Heavens, I don't care what I'm married in or where. I'd gladly go to Baltimore as I am or to the dock to marry him before he sails, but he wants to come and get me at home from amid bevies of brides-maids and the maid-of-honor—that's you, of course. ”

“ He looked upon luxurious dwellings, some of them separate mansions with gay, striped awnings spread to the sun, with pergolas and gardens above the water; some of them were aggregations of many dwellings under one roof, apartment buildings which fostered the idle, indulgent habits which Ephraim Herrick deplored. Strong as was his feeling against these rows and rows of flats, yet it was nothing in intensity compared to his abomination of the hotel and of the idle, self-indulgent life lived by those who made the hotel their home. ”

“ There had been a mistake years ago about Bolton, who had had no such life as Fidelia, yet who was alive when people said he was dead. There was a mistake; and when David drove to the door and came up from the car with a child of four years in his arms, Alice knew the mistake for what it was. Fidelia lived but she was a child again.
She had clear, white skin and dark, red hair and large brown eyes and red lips and a lovely, provoking nose like Fidelia's; and, her arm about David's neck, she clung as only a child of Fidelia's could. She was vivid and warm and she loved life. ”

“ No red-cap or porter for hand-baggage met the train at Evanston; and none of the men leaving the cars were of the disposition to press their services upon a strange girl so evidently competent to carry a small suitcase. She thought they were mostly business men, commuters from their offices in Chicago; but she recognized, in a few of the younger ones, the familiar casualness and clannishness of university students. They were of her own age and, seeing her, they eyed her as young men usually did and with the added interest of speculation on the probability of soon meeting her. ”

“ He was light-minded and happy. He thought that his shore self would hardly know this Dave Herrick who walked the floe with Fidelia Netley. The boy, who had played with her in the ice caves, would know him; this David Herrick was that boy who now knew Fidelia much better. They had talked together a thousand things; and with each, Fidelia had more delighted him.
She said nothing profound; that was it! She never even tried to; the idea of being profound could not occur to her. She thought and said wholly natural, agreeable things, not like any one else. ”

“ I just found out what I could, David. I hadn't told Hartley that Sam married me; and I certainly wouldn't tell then. It would look like I was after a share of their land. I didn't want any land."
"But why didn't you tell me?"
"I'm telling you now, David, now that I know Sam's alive. He's my husband; he's never married any one else; he's always wanted me. No one'll say they won't touch his money because he's married to me. I'm going to him, David; I'm going." And David realized that she wanted to go. ”

“ Once to have been loved by the boy you loved and then to see another girl take him from you! Once to have felt the kisses of love, the embrace of his arms, his warmth, his stir, his wish for you above all others in the world ”

“ Looking up, David saw that Alice was in her own room, and he moved from sight of her.
So Bolton was dead; that tall, vaunting man who had first been Fidelia's husband and then, five years later, had drawn her to him again, was dead; he who had cooked that first camp supper with her, the best ever though it was burnt black, he was dead; he who boasted exultantly of his tremendous eleven days with her which "were days," he was dead; and it was impossible for David Herrick to slow his pulse of triumph over that. If he had won no more than mere survival itself, yet he was alive, Bolton was dead. ”

“ She shook her head. "You don't so much, David." She got up from her knees. "I'll call Gertrude and tell her we won't go sailing. What shall we do to-night?"
That was it; what, better than sailing with the Vredicks, should she and he do to-night or any other night? A voice came cross his conscience: "I'm Alice." Always when he had happened to see Alice, or even when any round-about word of her reached him, he had told Fidelia; but he could not tell her how he had called Alice an hour ago. ”

“ Fidelia kept aglow by the slow expending of her strength; she was happy. All other considerations she had put off until morning—all but one.
This was the star which David had pointed out to her in the east—Saturn, the star of her beautiful verse, yet the baleful star, the wandering planet of misfortune.
"That's Saturn?" she asked him, when their song was done.
"Yes."
"You're sure?"
"I know it. Why?"
She did not tell him. It might mean nothing; of course it was nothing; sensible people laughed at such ideas; yet she wished that Saturn was not the star ascendant to-night. ”

“ He touched her cheek and then turned her face up to his. "I know what's in your dear little head when you look at me like that, Alice: am I as happy as I was with Fidelia?"
"David, I don't mean to ask it."
"You can't help it. And I can't help it. Dear, this is very different;and this is better, sweet little heart. Now kiss me."
She did and he said, "This feels like home, Alice; and I never had that feeling before. We'll buy this house, as soon as we can, won't we?"
"I'd love to. It'll do us for years or at least until we have more than two children." ”

“ Yet, with her helplessness, she found herself amazingly without fear of Fidelia now. What a strange discovery to find her fear of Fidelia gone; for you can not fear one who no longer can hurt you; and Fidelia had taken away from Alice all that any one could. She had taken David and ended the meetings at the campus edge; ended their glances at each other, their sharing of plans, hopes, dreams; she had taken away the twenty-second of June, the wedding day! What a surprise to feel no fear of Fidelia! ”

“ This room of hers high above the water and with wide, pleasant windows to the east and south was a particularly delightful "living-room" with its soft, blue rug and big, blue lounge, with pretty table and a desk and chairs painted that hue of gray which is gay and made more cheerful by little lines and designs in brighter color. There were bookshelves and books, a parchment-shaded lamp and a small, beautiful grand piano which was open. It was always open and with music on the rack. A dozen times a day Fidelia slipped into the piano seat and played; she loved to play but not to practice. ”

“ Soon the house was quiet; they were all gone, except Myra who for a time sat in the dark beside her and then lay down on the bed. Myra went to sleep. Alice did not.
Sometimes she imagined Fidelia and David both lost; sometimes she supposed Fidelia lost and David safe; and sometimes Fidelia safe and David had been drowned. But she believed none of this; she believed them both safe and together; and consequently, while she waited, she tried to recast her life; but she could not.
How she depended upon David! Every plan, every purpose, every hope, every dream was hers only with him. ”