Ella Wheeler Wilcox

“ All his former society friends, the women who had entertained him as a bachelor, she regarded with suspicion and dislike. So open was her hostility that she soon made herself unpopular; and invitations to the homes of her husband's old friends grew to be very formal affairs.
For a time the young husband sought to overcome the jealousy of his wife by yielding to her whims, and by devoting himself more and more to her. ”

“ For two long years the man tried to live on and make the best of his position, but the wife had undertaken an impossible task. She had striven to change a wholesome, happy, good-hearted, loving human being, into an intellectual æsthetic; to turn a wit into a profound philosopher; to paralyse normal and natural instincts and appetites, and to force the man to [42] live only in the spirit, while yet in the body.
After two years the bad husband developed. He went where he found pleasure, mirth, good food, good company. He allowed his wife to go her way; he went his.
They met at the divorce court. ”

“ The fifth bad husband had been the merriest and jolliest young man in the neighbourhood where he found his wife. He was twenty-nine years old when he married, and his wife was twenty-two. She was very bright, and considered a leader in her social circle.
The young man was so witty and so full of fun, that he had always been popular with girls and, indeed, with women of all ages. Old ladies liked him ”

“ I will make enough more to keep myself in comfort and peace. You have convinced me that my taste is vulgar; my manners bad; my speech uncouth. You have convinced me that you are a superior woman, and quite as plainly, I am made to understand that I am an inferior man. ”

“ They had long urged him to marry, to make a home for himself; and when he chose the charming girl they admired for his mate, they were all ready to take her into their hearts.
It is seldom one finds a really good mother-in-law. As a rule the mothers of men, especially, are petty and selfish in their attitude to the son's wife. They feel the woman's jealousy at the intrusion [30] of another woman into the man's life. It is the most common phase of feminine weakness and injustice. ”

“ It did not occur to her that she could keep in touch with the human side of life, and with her husband's tastes, and still grow out into larger ideals.
She said one could not serve God and Mammon, or obey two masters. And she felt she must obey the call of her soul. She forgot that the call of love is also the call of the soul.
So her husband began to go to the comic opera and the social dance alone or with a man friend. And he began to find it difficult to converse with his wife on any [40] subject of mutual interest. He felt she was greatly his superior, and he was ofttimes very lonely. ”

“ There was no trouble about her obtaining the divorce. Statutory grounds were given and proved. The children were given to the wife. The woman who had won him away from his wife, according to public comment, was a wholly inferior person.
Then it was remarked that his wife was always quite his superior; and that he had, by the natural law of the world, gone [43] down to his own level. His wife received the sympathy of the whole community; and he was understood to be one of those bad men who are incapable of appreciating a good woman. ”

“ The young man possessed a fair competence and good business abilities. He was popular with his associates, and there was nothing to hinder their marriage from proving a happy one. So it seemed in the beginning.
After a few years had passed, the wife developed intellectual tastes and took up a course of study. The husband was proud of her and encouraged her in her pursuits. He was very much occupied with business, and his wealth was on the increase. ”

“ He said there was no pleasure to be had in a house with a woman who made every human being under the roof a slave to her caprices, and who was so utterly selfish that she could not understand how any one might object to being ordered about on errands night and day.
This scene was only the beginning of perpetual scenes. The husband began to stay away in the evenings. He often remained away at dinner, and the neglected [26] wife wept upon her mother's sympathetic bosom.
And in due course of time a separation and divorce occurred. ”

“ The young man was equally popular, and his success in the business world, together with his education and social standing, made him seem a very suitable husband for the pretty belle. The husband was popular in his club, and he was proud of his athletic prowess and his good fellowship with manly men. ”

“ He was [23] seldom enabled to finish his cigar or read his paper in the evening without being asked to go up or down stairs, to bring a chair, shawl, or book, or a box of bonbons for his wife's pleasure, or to run to the corner to get something she needed.
He became skilled in the work of a lady's maid in the continual demand made upon him to assist his wife in fastening her gowns.
After three years the situation in which the young man found himself began to prey upon his mind. For it grew worse instead of better.
'I am no longer a manly man,' he said to himself, 'I am not the head of a house ”

“ It is the writer's impression, based on observation, that a larger number of men marry for love than do women.
Just why so many men who begin married life with love and ideals, end it by being bad husbands, needs a wider and more careful analysis than this little book gives.
But it can do no good wife any [vii] harm to study herself, and in reading these pages, try and discover if she appears therein.
The noblest study of womankind is herself.
THE AUTHOR.
[1]
SIX BAD HUSBANDS AND SIX
UNHAPPY WIVES I
The first bad husband had been a very good man until he married. ”

“ Between the basement kitchen and the sleeping-room of the young couple, two flights of stairs intervened, and it seemed never to occur to the mistress of the [22] household that it was a hardship for any one save herself to go up and down these stairs a dozen times in a brief space of time on errands for her comfort.
The husband prospered, and engaged two more domestics for his wife. But with increased service her demands increased—and confusion instead of order reigned. ”

“ She read from books of ancient lore, and tried to make him see that only by living in the spirit, wholly, could we make a place for ourselves in the great spiritual kingdoms of the universe, or develop our highest powers here. ”

“ He married a young woman who had distinguished herself as a bright scholar at college, and he took her away from the drudgery of the schoolroom, where she had been teaching for two years after she graduated. ”

“ A second attempt was made the next year, with the same result, and after the breaking up of that home the wife wanted to go and travel in Europe with another unsatisfied wife whose husband was too busy to accompany her.
So she went away for three months and her husband lived at the club.
When she returned she found the bad [15] man very dissatisfied and inclined to find fault.
He said he wanted a home; he wanted a domestic wife, and he wanted children. ”

“ But her virtues, her nobility, and [vi] her ofttimes sorrow, have all been so frequently depicted, that many women who are the creators of their own misfortunes, fall into the error of believing they belong to her class. ”