Ellis Parker Butler

“ Ah say, 'Go on away, you wuthless dead-beat Nigger! Wha' don' you pay yo' rent like a man, befo' yo' come talkin' 'bout supportin' a lady?' Dass whut Ah tol' him, Jedge. An' whut he say? He say, 'Sally gal! Ah gwine nab yo' an' hab yo'. Ah gwine steal yo' an' lock yo' up, an' nail yo' up, an' keep yo'!' Dass whut he say. An' he done hit!"
"Stole you, and locked you up?" asked the judge.
"Yassah!" cried Sally, glaring at the trembling Silas. "He lock me up, an' he nail me up, an' he try to drown me, ef Ah ain' say whut he want me to say. Dat low-down, hypocritical Nigger! Yassah! ”

“ An' when he see Ah gwine win out he scoot. Yassah! He scoot. Ah 'low he run away 'cause he afraid, but dass not hit. No, suh! He gwine fotch an ax, fo' to nail up dat do' ag'in. So prisintly Ah wuk dat do' open an' Ah step out, an' whut Ah see? Ah see dat Silas a-standin' yere in de paff, wid he ax in he hand an' he mouf wide open, lak Ah been a ghos'. 'Ain' gone to hebben yit, hey?' Ah say; 'Well, if yo' ain' gone yit, yo' gwine mighty soon!' an' I wint fo' him wif de bed-slat, an' he yell lak blazes whilst Ah gwine murder him. An' dat how-come de pleeceman heah him an' save he life. ”

“ Ain' nobody in de shack at all. So Ah steps in, fo' to get mah pail an' mah mop an' mah broom.
"Dah dey set, right by de do', an' excipt fo' dem, dey ain' nuffin' in de shack at all but de straw outen Silas he's bed, an' dat all scatter aroun' lak to dry an' air out. Excipt dey one bed-slat whut Ah calculate Silas he keep handy fo' to whack at de rats, which am mighty pestiferous about dat shack. ”

“ She can wield a bed-slat like a warryor."
"Ah 'd 'a' killed him! Ah 'd' 'a' killed him shore!" said Sally.
"She w'u'd!" said Flaherty, briefly. "Thim Naygurs have th' harrd heads, but wan more whack an' he 'd iv had a crack in th' cranyum. So I wrested th' bed-slat from her. Th' place looked like there 'd been a war, yer Honor. Plinty iv thim hazel-brushes she 'd mowed down wid th' bed-slat thryin' t' murdther him. An' whin I heard th' sthory, I did not blame her." ”

“ He say, 'Scuse me, Noah, but Ah so full ob preparations fo' de great evint Ah ain' got time to yearn no money to pay de rint.' An' Ah say, 'Silas, Ah want mah rint!' So, bime-by, whin Monday mawrnin' come erlong, Sally she gwine away to do a job o' work, an' Ah meyander ober to Silas' shack, an' Ah got mah hatchit an' mah nails, whut Ah gwine mind de fince. An' whin Ah come to de shack Ah hear de squawk ob a board in de flo' an' Ah know Silas he in de shack, an' Ah slam de do' an' Ah nail up de do' an' he carrye on scandalous, but he can't git yout. ”

“ Nobody go nowheres, an' dey ain' no prophet no mo', fo' he wint away wid whut he done collicted up endurin' de revival. So whin dat come about Ah quite pertickler hungry, an' Ah go fo'th t' yearn some money fo' to get mah food an' to pay whut Ah owe Noah, 'cause he been pesterin' me about he rint. ”

“ Old Noah, seeing that the conversation was veering his way, arose and came forward, his hand behind his ear and expectation in his face.
"Thutty dollahs, Jedge!" he said eagerlv. "Dass de right amount. Thutty dollahs."
"You go set down!" yelled his wife in his ear, but the old man shook his head.
"Ain' he gwine pay hit?" he asked resentfully. "Ain' de jedge gwine mek him pay hit? Whaffo' Ah nail up de shack ef he ain' gwine pay hit?"
"Whut yo' palaver about? Nail up de shack! You ain' nail up no shack. Dat no- 'count Silas he nail up de shack," shouted Sally. ”

“ So Ah get some wood to chop, an' I chop hit. An' bime-by, whin Ah chop all dat wood, Ah guess Ah 'll go home, an' Ah go home. An' whin Ah retch mah shanty, Ah see de do' bruk. an' somebody a-yammerin' on hit, an' whilst Ah look, out sprang dis Sally Prutt an' whack me on de haid wid a bed-slat, an' holler, 'Ain' gone to hebben yit! ”