Emerson Hough

“ It’s right long, but it ain’t much of a story, exceptin’ ’way it shows how much like human bein’s people is sometimes, all over the world. Now, I don’t know who Lord Bill was, an’ I don’t know who Captain Kingsdon was, an’ I don’t know who Annie was really. Question ain’t who they was, but what they was. I reckon whoever Lord Bill was back home, he was a real man out here. Now, he allowed Annie was a real woman out here, too. That’s the sort that comes to stay, an’ my idea is they make real people, too, even if they do live in Canady. ”

“ Press an’ Petie an’ me, we was watchin’ all them hosses close, an’ there wasn’t no race for us till it came to the barrel race. Now, this was marked down as a cowboy race. The judges was some surprised when Cap’n Kingsdon comes up an’ declares himself in on this race, too. He’d won steady, ridin’ every race he could get into, him or his jockey, all day, an’ winnin’ two-thirds of what had- been won, not always too clean. ”

“ Look at Lord Bill over there. They tell me he eats here regular, an’ has right nigh moved in from his ranch, all on account of Annie. Good family, too, over in England, like enough. An’ he’s got all kinds of money.’
“Ain’t it astonishin’, Sir Algernon,” asked Curly of me, turnin’ over on one side, “how much like human bein’s folks is? Now, here’s this young English man, like enough heir to a lot o’ money. ”

“ I had plumb fergot all about the three-fifty that Press an’ Petie an’ me needed, an’ so had ever’body else, exceptin’ this little jockey. Right quiet, he slips back of the crowd, grabs the bag off’n the table, an’ makes for his fastest hoss.
“Little Red Coat, he’s got plenty things on his hands right now, an’ him settin’ there with no gun—which shows how foolish them Europeans is. Captain Kingsdon, he makes off the other way, for his fastest hoss, too. Band keeps on playin’ ‘Old Lang Syne,’ but people starts to runnin’ every way. ”

“ Nothin’ couldn’t stop us now, an’ me bein’ some riled by now, I set down on Pinto and allowed to ride a few.
“The other fellers hadn’t got on any too well, with this big hoss plungin’ through ’em a couple of times, an’ at the third time at the outside barrels, it came down to pretty near me an’ the Captain. I hugged the barrel twicet, and slapped it on top with my hat as I went by. In he came at me onct more, from outside. You see, a man an’ a hoss makin’ a turn like that is on a slant like a bicycle, an’ it don’t take much to push ’em over at the right time. ”

“ It’s all right about his cuttin’ me down—it’s in the game—and I’ll take care of myself. I’m not objectin’ to that.’
“‘Same here, brother,’ says I.
“‘No, it’s not the same,’ says Lord Bill. ‘You’re on a different footin’ here, because you came in as a stranger, an’ are entitled to fair play; an’ you’ve all given us good sport, you boys, in your own sort of game. But this fellow wanted the money, an’ he didn’t want to play the game square. Gentlemen, he’ll ride no more at this meet.’
“Well, didn’t nobody ride no more at that meet. ”

“ They is hosses here that can run some, an’ men that can ride a few, if you leave it to me. Besides that, they hang up money scandalous. Moreover, they have any kind of a race that you can think of—even races for punchers like you an’ me, one hundred yards out an’ back, turn round a barrel at each end. This is what Petie an’ me is layin’ for—three hundred an’ fifty hung up. ”

“ When us punchers come out, in full regalia, with woolly chaps an’ silk han’kerchiefs, all of us ridin’ easy, kinder on one laig, them fellers lined up an’ give us a cheer, an’ the band played ‘Yankee Doodle’ just for luck, because they knowed ’most all of us was from south of the line. Lord Bill comes up an’ wishes each of us boys luck, in about two words—still havin’ trouble with his talker. ”

“ Now, all the ladies in that entire colony of Calgary was there, an’ it was easy to see that every one of ’em knowed Lord Bill, an’ that every one wanted Lord Bill to know that she didn’t know him; that bein’ because of Annie, her bein’ a biscuit shooter. I read in a book onct about ladies in waitin’. They may go all right in England, but ladies that waits don’t go nowheres else, seems like. ”

“ He stood out there in the sunshine, on the prairie, with the white Rockies back o’ him, an’ the wind blowin’ his white horsehair apron, an’ he played. When a Scotchman gits drunk, he gets melancholy an’ thoughtful. This feller was playin’ ‘Robin Adair.’
“Sir Algernon, I can hear it yet, an’ I can see it all, too—the flat prairie, an’ the Rockies raisin’ back of it, white on top. The West still seemed kind o’ young that day.
“I went around the corner of the band stand, an’ there, all by herself, I seen a girl settin’. It was Annie. She sort o’ smiled. ”

“ The crowd begun to go home right soon after that, but Press an’ me we went around behind the grand stand to try some more of that yeller whisky, me havin’ divided the three-fifty into three pockets in our chaps, one for Petie, who was like to be laid up a few days with his slats.
“Sir Algernon, that was a right pleasant afternoon, all around, come to think of it. Folks begun to scatter in their wagons, an’ buckboards, on foot an’ on hossback, like the wind had blowed ’em off the race grounds. Out yonder the Sarcees an’ Stonies was still sortin’ out their blankets an’ moccasins an’ ponies. ”

“ They was all dressed just like Lord Bill, with wide hats, an’ balloon pants, an’ sore-finger leggin’s.
“There was a good many farm women settin’ around on the seats of the wagons that was drawed up near to the race track, an’ in here, too, was quite a number of otermobiles, that had came out from Calgary, with folks all togged out with leather clothes, veils, and black goggles. Around in the bunch onct in a while you’d see a good old American cow-punch, with the trimmin’s of such. ”

“ Well, Press an’ me an’ Petie we ordered some bacon an’ aigs an’ potatoes an’ things an’ coffee, an’ we set there an’ talked over the race meet. I noticed this here Cap and the jock would look onct in a while over at Lord Bill an’ whisper, an’ both of them kep’ look in’ at Annie. Some folks thinks that all biscuit shooters is free to make a crack at, thataway. ”