G. P. R. James

“ My delight may be supposed, when the one that I did find was my own beloved Laura. To bound forward towards me, as she had done from infancy, was her first emotion, and to it she yielded without fear, feeling, as I, too, felt, that the pain and the apprehension which for many a day had hung upon our morning meetings, were now cleared away, like clouds from the sun, and that all was happiness.
"You have slept long, De Juvigny," she said, looking up in my face with a smile; "you have slept long, and you look happy!" ”

“ The first feeling that in my bosom tended most certainly to soften all the rest, was a growing taste for the beauties of nature, of every kind and description; and as I approached Virmont, the warm and luxuriant banks of the Loire struck me with the same pleasurable sensations as I had experienced on seeing the deep shades and tranquil stillness of the Prés Vallée. Crossing the Loire at Gien, I turned to the right, and a little beyond Blénau was directed by the peasantry to the château de Virmont, which was situated in a dry and sandy soil, and surrounded by some rich but rather wild scenery. ”

“ Of course, this did not please me; for although I trusted to my own conduct to maintain the good opinion of the Duke, yet, with the common weakness of human nature, I did not like that his confidence should be given to another, though it had often been painful to myself. I knew very well that my behaviour, though it might not have gratified his jealousy by admitting suspicions I believed to be false, would command his esteem more than that of Gaspard, who, probably, was more complacent--but who is there so strong and philosophic in heart, as to value esteem more than affection? ”

“ As it is not so much the history of other people that I am writing as my own, I must now speak for a few minutes of myself, and of all that had been going on during some years in the little world of my own bosom. During the last six months, a greater change had taken place in my mind and my character than I ever remember to have felt at any other period of my life,--though I suppose that there is no epoch in man's existence, when his feelings and disposition may be considered as so irrevocably fixed as to be unsusceptible, during the rest of his days, of change or modification. ”

“ Each action, each look, each word, each smile of her who is now no more, will be remembered with sad and inconsolable regret; but, nevertheless, that I was myself deceived--that my own wild and mad suspicions were not all--that I was fooled and played upon, and made to act a part my better nature disavows--this, this, I acknowledge, presses part of the poison out of the wound, and softens the sting of remorse. I thank you for your tidings, De Juvigny," he added, laying his hand kindly upon my arm, "I thank you from my very heart. ”

“ When we arrived at the castle, we were met by Monsieur de Villardin himself, leading his daughter by the hand, now clad in drier garments, and smiling as gaily as if nothing had happened. Such moments soften and expand the heart; and the Duke's first act was one which inspired bright but delusive hopes of better days in the bosom of more than one person present. He held his daughter up in his arms to embrace her mother, and then taking the Duchess's hand, he pressed a kiss upon her cheek. ”

“ A few steps taken forward, however, showed me something lying in a heap, as it were, upon the very grave of the Count de Mesnil; and a sudden sinking of my heart took place, with feelings of apprehension that I could not well explain. The same sight had caught the eyes of Laura also; and, pointing forward, she exclaimed, "What is that?" As she did so, she paused for a single instant, but at that moment fear seemed to become prophetic in her bosom. Where we stood it was certainly impossible for her to discern even the form of a human being; but exclaiming, "Good God! it is my father!" ”

“ As he spoke, I saw Laura's eyes seek mine with an expression of anxiety and apprehension which was painfully sweet to my heart. She spoke not, however; and I replied to Father Ferdinand, attempting to smile gaily as I did so.
"You must remember, my good Father," I answered, "I am no longer a boy, and may well be expected to lose the plump, smooth-faced roundness of my youth: besides, I have seen some hard service; and more than eighteen years which I have now spent--ever more or less in the tented field--may well be supposed to take away a great deal from one's youthful freshness." ”

“ I replied, "when you make your complaint against Gaspard de Belleville, to take the same opportunity of soliciting my liberation at the hands of the Prince de Condé; for, of course, as I only came out of the sutler's in order, to rescue you, I must still consider myself a prisoner upon parole."
"Fear not, fear not, De Juvigny," he replied; "you shall soon be liberated, either as a favour to myself, or upon ransom; and you shall find, through my whole life, that I never forget, on any occasion, all the services with which you have contrived to load me in the short space of five or six years." ”

“ Strong in my reputation as a leader of the tumult, I now set to work to curse them with my whole heart, asking if they were partisans of the Court and friends of Mazarin; and bidding them, if they were followers of the Fronde and the Princes, immediately to seek sledge-hammers, to knock down all the doors. This seemed so laudable an undertaking in their sight, that, shouting, "Des marteaux! des marteaux! vite! des marteaux!" they rushed away in search of hammers, while, seizing Monsieur de Villardin by the arm, I cried, "Come, come; I know a blacksmith's where we shall find plenty." ”

“ I felt that every day would bring a renewed struggle against myself; I felt that I should look to every sunrise with dread, lest I should fail in resolution during the coming day. Even the sweetest and dearest feelings of my heart were causes of apprehension. Every look, every word, of Laura de Villardin was to me a subject of delight, so bright, so deep, that, conscious of all which was going on within my bosom, I feared the joy I felt in her society would each instant betray itself to others. ”

“ I strove even to acquire strength from despair; but it was all in vain. Regret, disappointment, agony, mingled with every thought, and every memory, and every expectation; and for an hour, I strode up and down in a state of mind that I shall not attempt any farther to depict. At the end of that time, there was a light tap at my door, and the next moment, Laura's maid, Lise, entered the room. My agitation was sufficiently apparent, and would probably have betrayed what had occurred, even had not the soubrette been partially aware before that some sort of a discovery had taken place. ”

“ I would fain have discovered what, or rather how much, Monsieur de Villardin knew; but there were so many contending emotions in my bosom that I was afraid my voice would be choked ere I could put my questions, and I merely replied, "I will."
Without rejoinder, Father Ferdinand left me; and, burying my face on my arms, I remained in the same state of mind as a condemned criminal who has just heard an order given for his instant execution. I was not one, however, to shake before any mortal man. ”

“ My first strongly-roused passion was the thirst for vengeance upon the man that had slain him. After that came my connexion with Lord Masterton, and certainly the love and affection that I felt towards him, and the interest I took in his fate and in that of the Lady Emily, prepared the way for what I was now feeling: but still it was all very, very different from my intense participation in the passions and the sorrows of Monsieur and Madame de Villardin, and equally so from the sensations of gloom and awe, which the sad events that were passing around me impressed upon my mind. ”

“ The first feelings to which I gave way were those of pure sorrow at parting with Laura de Villardin; and I felt, for the first time in my life, that faint sickness of heart, which I suppose every one feels in separating from a being so dear--that sensation of a deprivation and a void--that oppressive sense of the uncertainty of fate, which may ever throw so many obstacles in our way, ere we can again behold those that we so deeply love. Such feelings are painful enough in themselves ”

“ The day appointed for our departure speedily approached, and as it came nearer, the hours spent with Laura became doubly dear; nor indeed did she look less lovely, or less interesting, from a shade of melancholy that spread more and more over her fair face, as every minute that fled took something from the small space of time that we had yet to dream away in each other's society. She never loved parting from her friends, she said; and she knew not why, but she felt more apprehensive for her father than she had ever before done on his departure for the army. ”

“ Oh then, my lord, I beseech you to love the children that I leave you with tender and equal affection; and should a regret at any time cross your mind for sorrows inflicted on their mother, make me atonement by your affection for them. If ever the spirits of the dead be permitted to watch over those they loved while living, my soul shall follow you and our children through existence, and every kind word or deed towards them shall be received as wiping away some unmerited reproach or some harsh act towards myself. ”

“ Lord Masterton, happy in his wife and his family, shall not be disturbed by any sorrows of mine; and, however selfish it may appear, I must confess that the sight of his domestic tranquillity would but render more painful the consciousness that such a state can never be mine. There is nothing fit for my present frame of mind but solitude. I doubt not that thought and reflection, before I am called upon to resume my duties in the service, will enable me so far to conquer my regrets and disappointment as to permit of my mingling in society, without much pain to myself or any annoyance to others. ”

“ On the contrary, our whole thoughts have been turned to the means of overcoming a passion that we felt to be hopeless."
"There is but one means, De Juvigny," replied Monsieur de Villardin,--"there is but one way--to part. To know that I am bound to wound my daughter's happiness, as well as that of a man I love better than if he were my own son, is bitter enough; but still it must be done. My promise is given, and it must not only be held inviolable, but I must show no hesitation in fulfilling it--no wish to evade its immediate execution. ”