George M. Baker

“ Lucy is too good for you ever to dream of.
Fred. Why, Harry, what’s the matter? You have engaged with me in all these sports that you speak of. Do you turn upon me now? Harry, you are not yourself.
Harry. No, I am not. When you came to this school, I was a happy lad who had never heard of this gay life; content to stay at home with my dear sister and Dilly, with but one desire,—to please a father who was very proud of me. You came. New life, new enjoyments, were before me; and, like a thoughtless boy, I plunged into them. Well, I suppose it is one of the phases of life which tempt all ”

“ You are right. Your house is no longer a fit place for a gambler. I can claim no friends here now.
Mrs. L. Oh, don’t say that, Harry!
Doctor. Silence! Who bandies words with that villain is no longer an inmate of my home.
Dilly. Then you can set my bandbox outside the door at once. Dr. Harlem, you’re a mean old doctor, so you are! O Harry, Harry! I don’t know what it’s all about; but I know there isn’t a better Harry in this world than you. (Rushes into his arms.)
Harry. Hush, hush, Dilly! ’Twill all come right some day. ”

“ Harry. Yes, Fred Hastings: I’d rather see my sister laid in her grave than marry you.
Fred. Harry, you’re crazy!
Harry. Not a bit of it. Look you, Fred. You’re a gay fellow, and with you time flies lightly and merrily. But you’re a rich man’s son. Your purse is always full. You know too much of life. Boy as you are, you can drink as deep as the oldest; you can shake a dice-box as glibly as the most expert, shuffle a pack of cards with the boldest, and bet your money with the fastest. I can very easily tell your future life,—a gay life and a merry one ”

“ Zeb. Worms? worms? Going a-fishing, Massa Crusty.
Ton. You Zeb!—
Zeb. By golly, I know where ’em are!—flounders as big as a slab; and eels, golly,—what whoppers!
Ton. Shut up, and mind your business! Yes, Mr. Crusty; first chance for you this morning.
Crusty. Yes, I should think so! I tell you what, Tonsor, you don’t go to work right to make a fortune. Do as I did,—early to bed, and early up in the morning. You live too fast: you should sober down. Why don’t you get married?
Ton. Ah, Mr. Crusty, that’s the very thing I would like to do. ”

“ Dilly, child, what ails you?
Dilly. (Starting up, and closing the portfolio.) Away, away!—you, of all men! I beg your pardon: I know not what ails me. (Takes portfolio, and comes down, L.) (Aside.) The proof, the proof at last! What shall I do? who trust? I dare not leave Fred Hastings here with Lucy: I fear his influence. Oh, if I could but make the doctor understand!
Doctor. Have you written, Dilly?
Dilly. Not yet, doctor (sits on stool at his side, L.) I want to talk with you first; I want to tell you a story.
Doctor. But I don’t want to hear a story; I want you to write to Harry. ”

“ Harry. Shut up! If you speak again you’re a dead man. Come out here! (Butts obeys.) Now take a seat, and make yourself comfortable.
Butts. (Sitting L.) Comfortable?
Harry. The tables are turned, hey, Butts?
Butts. Oh, you villain, you villain! But you can’t escape me; I’m an officer of the law; never known to take a bribe. I believe in justice, and justice will surely overtake you, John Robinson.
Harry. I sincerely hope I shall some day have justice.
Butts. The hemp has grown, the rope twisted, that will twist your little neck, John Robinson.
Harry. So you are Butts the thief-taker, are you? ”

“ Seize them! I charge those two individuals with a conspiracy to murder me at the dread hour of midnight. Blood! blood! blood!
Harry. Why, Charley, what does this mean?
Charles. That I have exposed a quack, and saved my Aunt Hopkins from making a fool of herself.
Wiggins. But I charge these villains with an attempt to murder me. Did you not a short time since, in this very room, concoct a vile plot to murder me at the dread hour of midnight?
Herbert. Ha, ha, ha! Harry, your new play has evidently made an impression on the doctor.
Wiggins. Play?
Harry. Yes, play. ”

“ Dilly. Oh! bless you for those words: they lift a weary load from my heart. While Harry is away—
Lucy. I am heart whole. I know your suspicions, Dilly; and, till they are proven true or false, Fred Hastings can have no claim upon me. Good-by! he’s waiting.
Dilly. Good-by, Lucy! (Exit Lucy, C.) The time will surely come, but when—when that old man tottering on the brink of madness shall be in his grave, when this loved home shall have passed from us, when old age and gray hairs shall be upon us. Faith,—yes, I have [266] faith; but this watching and waiting is weary and wearing. ”

“ Dilly. Good-morning, Mr. Butts: going to have a ride?
Butts. Oh, bother!
Dilly. I say, Mr. Butts—
Butts. Well, what now?
Dilly. Respect the law.
Butts. Oh, pshaw! (Runs off, C.)
Dilly. Ha, ha, ha! What a queer old customer!
Lucy. Why, Dilly!
Mrs. L. Dilly, child, you mustn’t talk so.
Dilly. That’s what Harry calls him.
Mrs. L. That’s no reason why you should speak so. Mr. Butts is a very worthy man, and tries to do his duty.
Dilly. He’s a constable, and I do hate constables: they’re always round poking their noses into every thing, and spoiling all the fun. ”

“ L. You do not believe him guilty of the charge made by Harry?
Lucy. I do not know what to believe: I only know I wish he would never speak of love to me; but still—
Mrs. L. Well, Lucy?
Lucy. We are poor, very poor: this life we now lead cannot last much longer. Some day this place must be given up; then what will become of father, you—all of us? Dilly works hard to keep the wolf from our door, and I am but a poor drone in the hive. Mr. Hastings is rich: were I his wife, this place might be secured, father made comfortable, and you and Dilly happy. ”

“ Harry. Don’t growl, Bob. It’s just your luck to be the best fellow in the world. What could we do without you? All the small boys swear by you. If they’re in trouble, who so quick to help as Bob Winders? If there’s an old lady within ten miles wants an armful of firewood, who so quick to bring it as Bob Winders? If I was in trouble, and wanted the help of a friend, a real friend, there’s no one I would call on sooner than Bob Winders. ”

“ Harry. Safe, I tell you. I, and I alone, know where to find her.
Butts. John Robinson, you’re a noble—no—I mean you’re a—Oh! lead me to her. I’m an old man. This child—I long to clasp her in my arms.
Harry. Lead you? Well, Butts, under the circumstances, that is a very cool proposition. You forget: by your own admission, I am your prisoner.
Butts. You are free, only give me the child.
Harry. Five thousand dollars for John Robinson, hey, Butts?
Butts. If it were fifty thousand dollars, give me the child, and you are free.
Harry. I’m astonished, Butts! ”

“ But I am Mercutio, who, upon my life,
Had nearly made that maid there be my wife
But for your coming. Now that you have come,
And I’m not wanted, I think I’ll go home.
Rom. Stay, vile Mercutio, I see what you’re about:
With this ’ere maid you tried to cut me out;
But you shall find that I can cut as well.
A game of turn him out, we’ll have, my swell.
You are a sneak, so be a little bolder:
Let’s see you knock that chip from off my shoulder.
(Mercutio blows chip off.)
A blow. We’ll try the manly art.
Mer. The manly art?—oh, no!
We can’t do that: it’s not for us, you know. ”

“ March. Do I? why didn’t you say that before: I’m done. But, Mother Gale, what do you suppose sent these rich people to this desolate spot?
Mrs. G. It’s their whims, I s’pose: rich people are terrible whimsical. Mr. Raymond told your father he wanted a quiet place down by the sea.
March. Blest if he hasn’t got it! It’s almost as desolate here as poor old Robinson Crusoe’s Island. ”

“ Don’t be frightened, Dilly. It’s a good thing to know you have relatives; but I do not propose to renounce my claim. You are my rightful property: I found you by the roadside when deserted by your father. I will still claim relationship; but, Dilly, it must now be as your husband.
Dilly. My husband!
Harry. Yes, Dilly, be my wife. I have had you in my thoughts night and day for the last five years. You have proved your love for me as a sister; now I shall claim a dearer title.
Dilly. O Harry, I do not deserve it!
Doctor. She does, Harry; and, if you don’t marry her at once, I will.
Butts. What! ”

“ But still we lose many friends in the young gentlemen who have left us. I’m sure we shall miss them.
Mrs. L. Especially your particular friend, Fred Hastings; hey, Lucy?
Lucy. Oh! of course. You know he is very agreeable, Aunt Loring, and has been very kind to us.
Mrs. L. He is no favorite of mine. He has been very agreeable, especially to you; while to your brother Harry he has been altogether too kind.
Lucy. Why, Aunt Loring! Harry thinks there never was such a friend.
Mrs. L. Harry is young; he has seen little of the world: and the gay, dashing style of Fred Hastings has won his admiration. ”

“ I wonder I have ever lived to get here, after having been cooped up in that horrid hole, Dismaltown. It is refreshing to get among civilized individuals. I’ve passed my whole life in that place without ever seeing anybody or anything, and I should be there now but for my uncle, the captain; and somehow I do feel quite homesick when I think of my Annastasia; but then my Annastasia is not there; she is nearer to me in Boston than in Dismaltown, for my Annastasia is now on a visit to her aunt in Brighton. ”

“ Harry. Collect it! Do you suppose my father would hesitate to pay, when he knows, that, on his refusal, the whole story would be made public? Fred Hastings, rather than look upon my father’s face—his honest face—when he should feel his son was a gambler, I’d throw myself into the lake.
Fred. Oh, come, Harry! he shall not know it. I got you into the scrape, and I’ll see you out. The doctor holds money belonging to me, from which I draw for my convenience. I’ll go to him, get the money: you shall pay Capt. Pitman, and nobody be the wiser. ”

“ March. Well, I’ll give you a seat, now the flat-iron’s out of the way (lifts her to table, where she sits swinging her feet and eating bread and butter) .
Kitty. Isn’t she pretty?
March. Mother Gale?
Kitty. Mother Gale! No: Miss Kate.
March. Yes, indeed.
Kitty. And she’s so rich, and dresses so fine. I suppose she lives in a big house with a buffalo on top, and a pizzaro, and a miranda, and all that.
March. Yes, indeed, she’s very rich; but then you just wait till my mysterious parent turns up. I know he’s a rich man: you never heard of a shipwrecked baby but what had a rich father,—never. ”

“ I, who have been knocked about the world like a shuttlecock, buffeted by everybody and everything; who never saw but one schoolhouse in all my life, and that from the outside,—here am I puzzling all the learned doctors, creating a frenzy among the apothecaries, and setting the whole town to taking medicine by the pint, quart, and even demijohn, and hauling greenbacks into my capacious pockets with an agility and velocity that would astonish the father of greenbacks. ”

“ Lucy. He didn’t catch the wrong one to-day. Why, Dilly, how could you do such a thing?
Dilly. Pooh! It is easy enough if you only know how to drive.
Mrs. L. That poor horse!
Dilly. Well, it’s Mr. Butts’s fault that he is poor. He ought to feed him: I’m sure he’s rich enough! Harry says he’s an old—
Mrs. L. Stop, child! never mind what Harry says.
Dilly. But I do mind what Harry says. Harry’s my father and mother and brother all in one. I’m sure I shouldn’t know what to do without Harry.
Mrs. L. You have great cause to love him, for to Harry you owe all you have. ”

“ Lucy, you are not just to me or your father. He needs your care: he needs something more than that. I know how his small fortune has gradually dwindled away, that his house is mortgaged, that he has not a penny in the world. Become my wife, Lucy. I am rich. Give me the power to aid him?
Lucy. No, no, Fred: better as it is. Dilly, Aunt Loring, I, will work night and day to gain for him every comfort.
Fred. But think, Lucy. The best you can do will only make him comfortable for a little while. With a [280] pressing creditor like Hartshorn, this house must at last be given up. ”

“ Harry. There, there! Run off, and finish cutting out your stars: that’s much better than cutting up pranks.
Dilly. Oh, the stars! I forgot all about them.
Harry. Confound it! I must turn over a new leaf.
Bob. Yes, practice before you preach. Well, Dilly, how comes on the flag?
Dilly. Nearly ready. Will you come and hold a skein of silk for Lucy? (Exit, L.)
Bob. For Lucy? Will I? Won’t I? (Exit, L.)
Fred. It strikes me that Bob Winders is mighty attentive to Lucy.
Harry. Of course, he is. Why, Fred, you’re not jealous?
Fred. That sister of yours is an angel, Harry.
Harry. That she is, Fred. ”

“ Harry. Now keep old Butts here, and I’ll be off. Dilly, good-by. Heaven bless you! Be a good girl, and have faith in Harry.
Dilly. That I will! (Harry kisses her, and creeps out, C.; the Doctor is with Butts, R.; Fred and Lucy, with Mrs. Loring, back R., talking together.) Oh, if he can only get away! (Follows him to door, C., and stumbles over the trap, which was placed by Bob, L. C.) Dear me! I’ve nearly broke my ankle! Why, what an ugly-looking trap! I must take care of that.
Butts. I tell you it’s no use, doctor. Law is law, and your son must go to jail. ”

“ PART II. Scene.—Same as before. Enter Festus, C.
Festus. It is astonishing how much a little borrowed plumage becomes a bashful man. The ice once broken by the inspiring thoughts and words of the love-sick “Raphael,” I feel now almost equal to the composition and delivery of an energetic and passionate appeal that shall carry the heart of the lady by storm; but then, having once been refused, I dread a second attempt. “A burnt child fears the fire;” and a singed lover trembles before the blazing eyes of the object of his adoration. ”

“ It is my proud boast, that I am one of the supporters of the scale of justice,—that scale which—
Doctor. Stop, Mr. Butts. If you have come here to deliver an oration on justice, you’ll excuse me, as I have far more important matters to occupy my attention.
Butts. Dr. Harlem, I have a tender heart, and the sight of misery is terrible to me.
Doctor. What’s that to do with me?
Butts. Doctor, compose yourself, imitate my stoicalness. You are a father— (Dilly rushes in, C.)
Dilly. Oh, such a race! they’re half-way across the lake, and Harry’s ahead, Harry’s ahead! ”