Harry McDonald Walters

“ She discovered that living with mother was not half as pleasant as living with Johns; that home was not what it used to be in her single days; that mother was very self-opinionated; that Johns could write much more interesting letters than she thought he could; that there are several kinds of love and several kinds of love letters; and that Johns knew how to write them all; that Johns was not so pliable as she had imagined he was; and that, anyway, she would rather love a man who had character enough to assert himself than a weakling. ”

“ Consequently, Willie argued, it is a man’s first business to become well off. Seek first dollars and all things shall be added unto you. Many children have this idea and some never get over it, Willie never got over it.
Willie heard that “anything can be bought,” that “every man has his price,” that “a man’s best friend is his money,” and a great many other equally wise and true saws.
So it came about quite naturally that Willie set the dollar up in his mind as something to be venerated, and overlooked the fact (quite naturally too) that the dollar is a means to an end not an end. ”

“ Once upon a time there was an idiot who had a few brains and in an unlucky moment he started to think, which is a very idiotic thing to do, as every one knows. The way to live peacefully is not to think, but just to grab everything that you want that is grabable, eat well, sleep well, work a little, but do not, on any account, think. It is bad; it is conducive to thoughts; and thoughts worry; and worry is indigestion; and indigestion is bad humour; and then peace is gone. Peace is the only thing that is worth anything and you cannot have it if you have thoughts. ”

“ What is your business with me?” asked the merchant.
“You can do nothing for me,” replied the Entity; “but I can do much for you and have done much.”
“You must be making a mistake,” said the merchant. “You are in the wrong house. I never had any cases altered and I don’t need any altered now. Go away, please, I do not know you.”
“Yet I made you,” said the Entity.
“Pooh! pooh! nonsense,” said the merchant, “you must be a stranger hereabouts; everyone knows I am a self-made man.”
“A self-made fool,” said the Entity, “your memory is short and your vanity great. ”

“ When Willie began to go to school he had come to several conclusions about things and one of the conclusions he had come to was, that if people took so much trouble, as he saw his parents do, to appear well off when poorly off, it must be, if not absolutely wrong at least a grave fault, to be poor, and a fault to be ashamed of, which of course it is. ”

“ He pictured to her the forlorn state of her father as a horrible specimen of petticoat government. He was eloquent, and he thought convincing, in his plea for some liberty. If Mrs. Johns had had half the common sense she prided herself on having, she would have accepted his explanation. She would have seen that it was just as foolish to expect to manage all the details of a man’s doings, comings and goings, wearings and tastes, as it would be for a man to offer to do the same for a woman ”

“ Philosophy is a very satisfactory kind of thing, but its pursuit does not bring happiness, rather is it a drag upon happiness; any fool can be happy, but a Philosopher has to have reason therefor. Philosophy is a useful kind of break, preventing happiness from getting too hot and misery from getting too cold. The Philosopher was happy because he had been smitten, not smote with a club, but by a girl; he loved a girl and believed he was loved because the girl told him he was, which is a good reason for any fellow, but should not be for a Philosopher. ”

“ The “ould man” Mike, looked up to Michael as a marvel of erudition; but Michael, although he did not know even what erudition was, knew that education was not his. He knew he was ignorant, but he held up his head and kept his mouth shut, which is one kind of wisdom, and he made a very fair show even if he was forced to be silent when people talked of things other than horses and dollars. ”

“ Johns was also influenced in her method with Johns by what she had seen in her own home, where her calm and dignified, but rather shallow, mother walked on all the rights and liberties of her father, who only claimed his own soul by stealth.
The foregoing is, of course, commonplace enough. Married people are to be seen on all sides dragging out a miserable existence, just for want of a little thought about the real cause of their wretchedness. Johns did not propose to be of the many. ”

“ He had gained the sobriquet of Philosopher for the reason that he was known to possess an uncommon habit of taking facts, those stubborn things, and turning them over in his mind, examining them and coming to logical conclusions about them, but it was not the dignity of his name or his happy peculiarity that made him happy. ”

“ Women say this kind of thing every day to men whom they worship, and never expect to be taken at par and never should be. The value of a statement by a woman is entirely different to the value of a statement by a man.
At this point Johns made a grave mistake. He took his wife’s intemperate utterances at par. He was deeply grieved to learn what he thought was the real condition of her mind, and, believing, that all happiness was gone for him, and that there was no use continuing the painful scene, he made for his hat, intending to leave the house. ”

“ Alexander’s education bore fruit. The kind of fruit an education will bear depends much upon what kind of an education is planted and the ground it falls on. Michael expected that Alexander’s education would bear fruit. ”

“ I could not be happy in one continued round of obeying orders, so like a private in a regiment of soldiers; and you could not be happy with a man you had to worry over and fuss about all the time as if he were a child. In that way we would worry each other out of all comfort in life, as I see many couples foolishly do. Let us be different from other couples. ”

“ The whole universe is a contest between what we call Life and Death, that is, motion and rest. Every THING will eventually come to rest and other things be evolved. Given eternity and it is easily conceivable that a world will die and be resolved into its elements, what then is so objectionable in the thought of a FINAL death to the individual whose life is but a flash as compared with all time? ”

“ You need great ballast in your mind to spread a vast canvas of vanity to the wind.
A brave man may run from danger, a coward fight, a fool do wisdom, and a wise man folly; so consider a reputation, but count it not too high. ”

“ Ten years with the brokers gave Willie no liking for the business or affection for his employers, but he never dreamed of risking having idle time on his hands earning no money by throwing up a sure thing for an uncertainty. ”

“ Energy is thy ammunition; waste it not in folly; store it in thyself until thou findest a fit object on which to exert it. The Game is not like a horse-race wherein judges declare the weight a racer shall carry. ”

“ Then as they sat together on a tete-a-tete sofa in the drawing room she sweetly said: “Now, John, promise me that you will never do anything like that again. You know I am always right about things, and so promise me that you will never go to the club again, or smoke horrid cigars, or play cards, or drink wine, or be late for dinner, or wear clothes I do not like, or, or, or anything.” Johns paused. If he had said, “Yes, dear,” he would have been ruined for life, and Mrs. Johns would have loved him less and less as years went by, and would have despised him always ”

“ His wife became prematurely old, slovenly and hopeless; the children ragged and tough; the idiot himself struck odd jobs now and again, but being unable any longer to hold up his head over a clean collar and shirt, on account of his thoughts, he never recovered his lost faith in himself. ”

“ Dollars, although they can purchase everything that goes to make luxury, cannot supply taste.
Michael worshipped education as his father before him had done, and he decided that “Alexander should have an education that would ‘knock’ the tar out of any education that ever was bought for money.” Michael was ignorant of the fact that education is still a very uncertain quantity, and that even experts do not agree on what is necessary to constitute it. ”

“ I am exposed every day to duns and Bailiffs and such, and can scarcely get pea-soup for myself and family, while these popular politicians expend the riches of the people and lead a life of pleasure. What have they done to enjoy a lot so agreeable, and what have I done to deserve one so wretched?” While poor Tripe was thus complaining a servant came out of the palace and bade him follow him, as the Caliph Mac had heard his wail and would speak with him. ”

“ Alexander was of the opinion that he was now an experienced business man, but he wasn’t, and he proved no addition to the horse business. Soon Michael began to ask for renewal on notes and things began to be said about him; no man has credit so good that he can afford to have things said about him. So Michael called a meeting of his creditors, and the estate was so bad that fine house, furniture, horses and carriages and everything that went to make the luxurious home were swept away. Everyone blamed Alexander for the ruin of his father, that is, everyone but Michael himself. ”

“ THE STORY OF A FULL GROWN MAN
A full grown man once had a position in the Civil Service. He did the work of an average office boy in the business world, but drew the salary of a man. The full grown man was not ashamed of this. ”

“ Gabb, the widow who was providing the good cheer, “and do you know he stares every woman he sees out of countenance.”
“My dear,” said Blabb, the other widow, “Blank is just like all the men; everyone knows him, but his poor wife.”
“Oh, my gracious goodness,” exclaimed the ancient maid, whose name was Slabb, “is Mr. Blank such a dreadful man? ”

“ Willie became morbid, brooding over his case; he could not stop his brain from thinking dollars, he could not satisfy himself that life was a success—so he blew his dollar-thinking brains out with an old shot gun.
[Pg 11]
A jury sat on Willie and decided that if a man with Willie’s millions did not care to live, suicide was justifiable—and commendable.
Moral—Don’t envy the millionaire; he gives up a lot for what he gets. ”

“ Strong syndicates sometimes overshoot the mark. We would therefore advise fool-holders to skin the eye and, as some one has said, “Look out for the locomotive when the bell rings.” Really no one knows what fools will do.
It’s a poor man who cannot offer you an opinion and a wise man accepts few.
Many are obscure and happy; a few are in the glare of publicity and suffer much therefor. ”

“ And these two were in the service of the King—Gastonio the elder, because he knew things, and Alphonso because his brother Gastonio was in it.
And it came to pass that Alphonso used much public money, but gave little service therefor. And the multitude became wise and discovered Alphonso in his ill-doing. And Gastonio was sore afraid lest he, too, should be separated from his breath. And so he wept and lamented that he had closed his eye to the doings of Alphonso. ”

“ The higher up you get the harder to keep your equilibrium and the bigger the bump when you come down.
Some men generally tell the truth, some often tell it, many seldom tell it, some have to have it dragged from them, and to a large number it is an unknown quantity. ”

“ So the girl married Rip and made him happy, instead of marrying the Philosopher and making him unhappy. You must either be blind to a girl’s failings, or, knowing them, love them as part of the girl.
A little reason would prevent a lot of people from voting marriage a failure. ”

“ The stranger knew the full grown man. He made him tired. So when wifie said that the Civil Service was only a bread and butter mill, he said in reply: “Madam, it seems to me very unlikely that a man who can make jam for his bread outside the service would content himself with bread and butter for twenty years.”
And wifie fell dead, and the next month the full grown man was superannuated on “nothing” per year, and a school girl put in his place.
Moral—Never crowd your luck.
It costs money to appear to be somebody in particular. ”

“ Make a law kapin’ out from this country all such varmints that’s good fer nuthin’ to no wan. Am Oi right, Oi’m askin’ ye?
If ye left the busybodies alone, begorrah, we’d have niver a drink, niver a smoke, nor niver a dance wid the gurls. ’Tis horrible to contemplate. They’d pass a law agin’ everything. Sure, if they can pass this law agin the cigareet they’ll fally it up wid a law measurin’ yer food to prevint ye atin’ too much, a law to boost ye out of bed in time fer church, a law to prevint yer wife frum lacin’ too tight ”

“ And now Tripe began to think he was the whole thing, and that without him and his organ the Liberators and even Wilfridus himself were Small Potatoes; and he ground his organ to suit himself and played wicked and mischievous airs thereon which not only stirred up the Conservers, but annoyed many High Liberators. ”