Henry Cockton

“ We wish, Mr. Legge, to know the motives of those persons: that is the point at which we are anxious to arrive."
"Exactly," added the reverend gentleman; "that is the point. Now, sir, what were their motives?"
"I know but of one," replied Legge.
"Aye, that is the ghost story: that we have heard. But do you not know that their principal object, sir, was to annoy this lady?"
"No, sir; on the contrary, I know that it was not. There is not a man amongst them, sir, by whom she is not respected. She is too kind—too good, sir, to be annoyed wantonly by them." ”

“ But, although I still believe that the majority of those cases of which we have heard are ascribable to either knavery or enthusiasm, I now know beyond all doubt that spirits appear upon earth."
"But, my dear sir, tell me," said Aunt Eleanor anxiously, "tell me, to what do you ascribe—to what can you ascribe the awful appearance of this spirit here?"
"I know not, my dear madam, what to ascribe it to. I know not from what it may spring, nor to what it may tend. These things are far above human comprehension. ”

“ Judkins. I'll go, Mister Judkins. Mister Judkins, in course, is a very great man. Oh, a very great man is Mister Judkins; a mighty great man. But I'll cook the goose of Mister Judkins."
"I wish, with all my soul, you'd cook yourself," observed Judkins, who, as she retreated muttering all sorts of menaces, turned to contemplate his exotics again.
"This is a blessing as far as it goes," said he; "if it isn't, send I may live." But no sooner had he given expression to this remarkable sentiment, than a man led his mistress's pony and gig up to the gate and rang the bell. ”

“ No matter how strong the mind may be, the loftiest, the mightiest, may be wrought upon by trifles. Men scale a mountain and stumble over a brick.
We are not, it is true, all equally sanguine; but when we are depressed, how soon may we be elated, and how frequently are we, by virtue of viewing the veriest bubbles which Hope can blow. At such a time that which is nothing per se, may be made to amount to a great deal per saltum.
In the suggestion of Aunt Eleanor's reverend friend, there was, however, something in reality. ”

“ Cook smelt this: it reached her nostrils first; and, as experience had taught her to know in an instant what it was, she turned, on the impulse of the moment, with the view of consigning it at once to the fire. She had scarcely, however, touched the candlestick which contained it, when her blood chilled with horror, for she heard distinctly footsteps approaching. Mary heard those footsteps, too; but they had not time to glance at each other, before the kitchen-door absolutely opened, and they beheld a tall figure enveloped in a sheet. ”

“ I meant no offence."
"Call me Teddy, Jack, Jem, or any thing you like, but I'll fight till I drop before he shall be called Teddy."
'"Well, then, let it be the Reverend Mr. Rouse; I don't care, that's the man I meant after all."
"I know it's the man you meant," returned Jones, who was still very indignant, "but if any man—I don't care who he is—calls him Teddy, I won't have it! I know what master is, and I know what he isn't: there ain't a man in life as knows him better than me, and am I to hear him—hear a gentleman, and what's more, a clergyman—called Teddy?" ”

“ In vain she called upon them to stop. They didn't like to do it! "What do you want my good people?" she cried. "What on earth do you all want?"
They heard her; but, conceiving the voice to be that of some fiend, they went right on: nor did they stop until they arrived at the Crumpet and Crown.
"Have you seen it?" cried Legge, as they rushed in wildly.
"Yes!" replied Pokey, panting for breath. "At the cottage!—it's there!"
"I don't believe a word of it," said Click; "it's all stuff."
"Well, go and look yourself," cried Pokey, "that's all. There it is at the window!" ”

“ Oh, how easily are we elevated—how easily depressed—and when analysed, what puppets we appear, not always the puppets of others, but frequently our own—acting by virtue of the very strings which we pull—the creatures of the very circumstances of which we are the creators—but at all times puppets. It is strange that the human mind—which is often so powerful in its resistance to oppression, so strict in its adherence to principle, so firm in its pursuit of all that is noble, just, virtuous, and true, should be swayed by mere trifles: yet, while possessing all the elements of strength, so it is. ”

“ They knew his voice, and could have blessed him. Harsh as it was—for Judkins had not a soft voice—celestial music could not then, in their ears, have sounded more sweetly.
"Why, what on earth can be the matter?" enquired Aunt Eleanor. "What can it be?"
"I don't know, ma'am, I'm sure," replied Judkins, "there's suffin wrong, somewhere: somebody shruck dreadful."
"The shrieking was dreadful indeed;—it must have been Mary."
"I've knocked at the door, but they seem dead asleep."
"Oh, Judkins!" cried cook. "Oh, wait but a moment—Oh, we're not asleep!" ”

“ Cook, perceiving that Judkins was highly indignant, muttered something severe, and retired; and when she had had a few warm words with Mary, who felt extremely wroth at its being supposed that the miller was not all her fancy had painted, they both went to sleep, and slept well.
But Judkins for a long time could not go to sleep: his indignation at the thought of being considered a fool, was so excessive. And, of all ideas of an unpleasing character, there is probably not one so galling to a man as that of his being considered to be a fool. ”

“ As the thunder succeeds the lightning's flash, so did a roar on this occasion succeed every sentence that was uttered, whether witty or not; but as men cannot even laugh for ever, they at length became sufficiently worn out to sit down in a state of comparative tranquillity.
Legge then explained to them what he had suggested, and they then saw, with perfect distinctness, that a quarrel between Judkins and cook had been the origin of it all. ”

“ Momus—not Comus, but Momus —censured Vulcan, for making a man without a window in his breast, that his ill designs and treacheries might be seen, which was all very well; but what necessity, even in that poetic age, would there have been for this window, had a social and political Fatometer obtained? And how infinitely more valuable would it be now—how society would be simplified by virtue of its introduction! Fat is the natural fruit of laughter: natural laughter springs from pleasure: pleasure is derived from happiness: happiness from goodness, and goodness comprehends all the virtues. ”

“ Cook then, although with manifest reluctance, retired; and as she was instantly acquitted of all participation, the mystery resumed its original character, Neither Sylvester, his aunt, nor their reverend friend, could imagine another clue, Even the power to conjecture seemed lost. Neither could suggest —neither could conceive—the slightest means whereby that mystery might be solved.
"We must still," said the reverend gentleman at length, "we must still have patience. Time alone can bring this strange matter to light: and that it will be brought to light, I have not the slightest doubt. ”

“ They then commenced breakfast, and freely conversed on the subject which had set even conjecture at defiance; but before they had finished, their reverend friend called, impatient to communicate all he had heard and seen.
"I have, my dear madam, a tale of horror to tell," said he; but on the instant Aunt Eleanor raised her hand to enjoin silence, fearing that Sylvester, whom she fondly loved, would by any such tale be distressed.
"Have the people in the village then seen the ghost again?" she enquired.
"They have," replied the reverend gentleman. ”

“ Place before me anything tangible—anything with which I can grapple, my boys and then see how I'll act!"
"But you didn't even speak to it!" said Legge.
"Speak to it!" returned Obadiah. "Why, what's the good of speaking to a spirit? what's the good of arguing with a ghost? what principle, either moral, religious, social, political, or municipal, can you drive into the head of an apparition? Place brains before me—give me fructifying intelligence—give me Harry Brougham, or even Bobby Peel, my boys—and then you'd see how I'd go in ”

“ I here present you with half-a-crown for your trouble."
John did not much like the rough treatment he had received, but as the half-crown healed every wound that had been inflicted, he respectfully bowed, and in silence withdrew.
"I know John Todd," observed the reverend gentleman; "he's a very honest man. I have known him for years, and I am perfectly sure that he is not at all involved in this mystery."
"I hope, sir," said Judkins, "that I hav'n't in your opinion exceeded my duty."
"You acted very correctly, Judkins, very correctly," replied the reverend gentleman. ”

“ It will be so very dull for you to sit here alone. Do let me sit up with you?"
"I fear," said the reverend gentleman, "that it will tend to defeat the object in view."
"Then let Judkins sit up," said Aunt Eleanor; "he can be in the little room adjoining."
"My dear madam, the character of Judkins is still in—if I may so term it—the purgatory of suspicion: it has to be either vindicated clearly or condemned. Against his sitting up with me, I therefore protest."
"But I cannot consent to your sitting up alone."
"Well, then—let me see. Oh! suppose then I bring Jones, my gardener, with me. ”

“ Away flew Mary to the Crumpet and Crown, and the moment Legge had ascertained what had been discovered, he rushed, without looking for assistance, to the cottage, in a state of mind bordering on enthusiasm, before cook had had time to explain to her mistress what she really meant.
"Do you mean to say you've got 'em?" said Legge, as he entered.
"They're now in that room," replied Judkins, "safe."
"We'll have 'em out!—we'll soon see who they are.—Why they've locked themselves in!" he added, on trying the door.
"Who's there?" demanded the reverend gentleman. ”

“ They crowded round him, and urged him to begin at the beginning, and pressed him to drink, that he might open more freely; but Legge, having whispered to his wife, assumed an expression of mortification, and sat down in silence. "Why, what is the matter? What's wrong?" inquired Pokey. But Legge returned no answer.
"If there's anything fructifying in your mind, unpleasant," said Obadiah, "out with it, my boy, like a Briton!"
"Who," demanded Legge, with feigned ferocity, "who broke into the Grange Cottage, last night?" ”

“ Let them do justice to those who compose that honourable—albeit, peculiar—species of humanity, who have studied the respective characters of their suitors too deeply to be ensnared—who have met with none but those whose views were selfish, and whose affections were impure—who have not allowed their judgment to be blinded by passion—who have imagined man's love to be ethereal but have not found it so—who have never had the wish to make, in a worldly sense, a good match, and who have had sufficient sense to escape the miseries of a bad one! ”

“ Jones had been instructed to make no noise. He, therefore, made none. As he entered, he walked on the tips of his toes: not elegantly—no, by no means—but carefully, and ground his teeth to indicate the interest he felt in the due preservation of silence.
"My dear sir," whispered Aunt Eleanor, as her reverend friend took her hand, "I really feel so grateful—"
"Not a word, my dear madam, not a word," he replied. "We entered, I believe, unobserved?"
"I think so: I saw no one near."
"Are the servants in bed?" ”