John Gay

“ She leads the willing victim to his doom,
Through winding alleys, to her cobweb room.
Thence through the street he reels from post to post,
Valiant with wine, nor knows his treasure lost.
The vagrant wretch th' assembled watchmen spies;
He waves his hanger, and their poles defies:296
Deep in the roundhouse pent, all night he snores,
And the next morn in vain his fate deplores.
Ah, hapless swain! unus'd to pains and ills,
Canst thou forego roast-beef for nauseous pills?300
How wilt thou lift to Heav'n thy eyes and hands,
When the long scroll the surgeon's fees demands! ”

“ Whose straiten'd bounds encroach upon the Strand;
Where the low penthouse bows the walker's head,
And the rough pavement wounds the yielding tread;
Where not a post protects the narrow space,21
And, strung in twines, combs dangle in thy face;
Summon at once thy courage, rouse thy care,
Stand firm, look back, be resolute, beware.
Forth issuing from steep lanes, the collier's steeds
Drag the black load; another cart succeeds:26
Team follows team, crowds heap'd on crowds appear,
And wait impatient till the road grows clear. ”

“ Now with thick crowds th' enlighten'd pavement swarms:
The fireman sweats beneath his crooked arms;
A leathern casque his vent'rous head defends,
Boldly he climbs where thickest smoke ascends;
Mov'd by the mother's streaming eyes and pray'rs,
The helpless infant through the flame he bears,366
With no less virtue than through hostile fire
The Dardan hero bore his aged sire. ”

“ Let firm well-hammer'd soles protect thy feet
Through freezing snows, and rains, and soaking sleet.
Should the big last extend the shoe too wide,35
Each stone will wrench th' unwary step aside;
The sudden turn may stretch the swelling vein,
Thy cracking joint unhinge, or ancle sprain:
And when too short the modish shoes are worn,
You'll judge the seasons by your shooting corn.40
Nor should it prove thy less important care,
To choose a proper coat for winter's wear. ”

“ Nor scales the wall, to steal the wealthy hoard:
O may thy silver lamp, from heav'n's high bow'r,
Direct my footsteps in the midnight hour!
When Night first bids the twinkling stars appear,
Or with her cloudy vest enwraps the air,10
Then swarms the busy street: with caution tread
Where the shop windows falling threat thy head.
Now lab'rers home return, and join their strength
To bear the tott'ring plank, or ladder's length.
Still fix thy eyes intent upon the throng,15
And as the passes open, wind along. ”

“ When o'er the stones choak'd kennels swell the show'r,
In gilded chariot loll; he with disdain525
Views spatter'd passengers all drench'd in rain.
With mud fill'd high, the rumbling cart draws near—
Now rule thy prancing steeds, lac'd charioteer!—
The dustman lashes on with spiteful rage,529
His pond'rous spokes thy painted wheel engage;
Crush'd is thy pride: down falls the shrieking beau,
The slabby pavement crystal fragments strow;
Black floods of mire th' embroider'd coat disgrace,
And mud enwraps the honours of his face. . . . . ”

“ And from the pressing throng the lame protect.
You'll sometimes meet a fop, of nicest tread,
Whose mantling peruke veils his empty head;
At ev'ry step he dreads the wall to lose,55
And risks, to save a coach, his red-heel'd shoes;
Him, like the miller, pass with caution by,
Lest from his shoulder clouds of powder fly:
But when the bully, with assuming pace,
Cocks his broad hat, edg'd round with tarnish'd lace,
Yield not the way; defy his strutting pride,61
And thrust him to the muddy kennel's side;
He never turns again, nor dares oppose,
But mutters coward curses as he goes. ”

“ Nor will I roam when summer's sultry rays315
Parch the dry ground, and spread with dust the ways:
With whirling gusts the rapid atoms rise,
Smoke o'er the pavement, and involve the skies.
Winter my theme confines, whose nitry wind
Shall crust the slabby mire, and kennels bind:
She bids the snow descend in flaky sheets,321
And in her hoary mantle clothe the streets.
Let not the virgin tread these slipp'ry roads ”

“ Defy the muddy dangers of the street:194
While you, with hat unloop'd, the fury dread
Of spouts high streaming, and with cautious tread
Shun ev'ry dashing pool; or idly stop,
To seek the kind protection of a shop. ”

“ Earth's womb at once the fiery flood shall rend,
And in th' abyss her plunging tow'rs descend.
Consider, reader! what fatigues I've known—
The toils, the perils, of the wintry town;
What riots seen, what bustling crowds I bor'd;
How oft I cross'd where carts and coaches roar'd;
Yet shall I bless my labours, if mankind397
Their future safety from my dangers find. ”

“ Now all the pavement sounds with trampling feet,
And the mix'd hurry barricades the street.30
Entangled here, the waggon's lengthen'd team
Cracks the tough harness; here a pond'rous beam
Lies overturn'd athwart; for slaughter fed,
Here lowing bullocks raise their horned head.
Now oaths grow loud, with coaches coaches jar,35
And the smart blow provokes the sturdy war ”

“ How short is life! how frail is human trust!— 235
Is all this pomp for laying dust to dust?. . . .
Where the nail'd hoop defends the painted stall,
Brush not thy sweeping skirt too near the wall:
Thy heedless sleeve will drink the colour'd oil,
And spot indelible thy pocket soil.240
Has not wise Nature strung the legs and feet
With firmest nerves, design'd to walk the street?
Has she not given us hands to grope aright,
Amid the frequent dangers of the night?
And thinkst thou not the double nostril meant245
To warn from oily woes by previous scent? ”

“ For thee the scavenger bids kennels glide15
Within their bounds, and heaps of dirt subside.
My youthful bosom burns with thirst of fame,
From the great theme to build a glorious name;
To tread in paths to ancient bards unknown,
And bind my temples with a civic crown:20
But more, my country's love demands the lays—
My country's be the profit, mine the praise.
When the black youth at chosen stands rejoice,
And "Clean your shoes" resounds from ev'ry voice;
When late their miry sides stage-coaches show,25
And their stiff horses through the town move slow ”

“ Doll ev'ry day had walk'd these treach'rous roads:
Her neck grew warpt beneath autumnal loads,
Of various fruit; she now a basket bore:
That head, alas shall basket bear no more.384
Each booth she frequent past, in quest of gain,
And boys with pleasure heard her shrilling strain.
Ah, Doll! all mortals must resign their breath,
And industry itself submit to death. . . . . ”

“ Ever be watchful to maintain the wall:206
For shouldst thou quit thy ground, the rushing throng
Will with impetuous fury drive along;
All press to gain those honours thou hast lost,
And rudely shove thee far without the post:210
Then to retrieve the shed you strive in vain,
Draggled all o'er, and soak'd in floods of rain.
Yet rather bear the show'r, and toils of mud,
Than in the doubtful quarrel risk thy blood. . . . ”

“ Sweet-smelling flow'rs, and elder's early bud,429
With nettle's tender shoots, to cleanse the blood.
And when June's thunder cools the sultry skies,
Ev'n Sundays are profan'd by mack'rel cries.
Walnuts the fruit'rer's hand, in autumn, stain;
Blue plums and juicy pears augment his gain:
Next oranges the longing boys entice,435
To trust their copper fortunes to the dice. ”

“ Good housewives all the winter's rage despise,
Defended by the ridinghood's disguise;210
Or, underneath th' umbrella's oily shade,
Safe through the wet on clinking pattens tread.
Let Persian dames th' umbrella's ribs display,
To guard their beauties from the sunny ray;
Or sweating slaves support the shady load,215
When eastern monarchs show their state abroad;
Britain in winter only knows its aid,
To guard from chilly show'rs the walking maid.—
But, oh! ”

“ Dive in thy fob, and drop thee in the throng.90
When waggish boys the stunted besom ply,
To rid the slabby pavement, pass not by
Ere thou hast held their hands; some heedless flirt
Will overspread thy calves with spatt'ring dirt.
Where porters' hogsheads roll from carts aslope,
Or brewers down steep cellars stretch the rope,
Where counted billets are by carmen tost,
Stay thy rash step, and walk without the post.
What, though the gath'ring mire thy feet besmear?
The voice of industry is always near.100
Hark! ”

“ No more her lungs are shook with dropping rheums,
And on her cheek reviving beauty blooms. . . .
The God obtain'd his suit: though flatt'ry fail,
Presents with female virtue must prevail. . . .280
The patten now supports each frugal dame,
Which from the blue-ey'd Patty takes the name. ”

“ Who ne'er knew parent, was an orphan born!
Some boys are rich by birth beyond all wants,
Belov'd by uncles, and kind good old aunts;
When time comes round, a Christmas box they bear,
And one day makes them rich for all the year. ”

“ Thames-street gives cheeses; Covent-garden fruits;
Moorfields old books; and Monmouth-streetold suits.
Hence mayst thou well supply the wants of life,
Support thy family, and clothe thy wife.550
Volumes on shelter'd stalls expanded lie,
And various science lures the learned eye:
The bending shelves with pond’rous scholiasts groan,
And deep divines to modern shops unknown.
Here, like the bee, that on industrious wing555
Collects the various odours of the spring,
Walkers, at leisure, Learning's flow’rs may spoil,
Nor watch the wasting of the midnight oil ”

“ Where statues breath'd, the works of Phidias' hands,
A wooden pump or lonely watchhouse stands.490
There Essex' stately pile adorn'd the shore;
There Cecil's; Bedford's; Villiers', now no more. . . .
Yet Burlington's fair palace still remains:
Beauty within; without, proportion reigns:
Beneath his eye declining Art revives,495
The wall with animated picture lives.
There Handel strikes the strings; the melting strain
Transports the soul, and thrills through ev'ry vein:
There oft I enter (but with cleaner shoes) ,
For Burlington's belov'd by ev'ry muse.500
O ye associate walkers! ”

“ O happy unown'd youths! your limbs can bear
The scorching dogstar and the winter's air;146
While the rich infant, nurs'd with care and pain,
Thirsts with each heat, and coughs with ev'ry rain! ”

“ Thirsts with each heat, and coughs with ev'ry rain!
The goddess long had mark'd the child's distress,
And long had sought his suff'rings to redress;150
She prays the gods to take the fondling's part,
To teach his hands some beneficial art
Practis'd in streets: the gods her suit allow'd,
And made him useful to the walking crowd,
To cleanse the miry feet, and o'er the shoe155
With nimble skill the glossy black renew.
Each power contributes to relieve the poor:—
With the strong bristles of the mighty boar
Diana forms his brush ”

“ Why is the hearse with 'scutcheons blazon'd round,
And with the nodding plume of ostrich crown'd?
No; the dead know it not, nor profit gain:
It only serves to prove the living vain. ”

“ How matrons, hoop'd within the hogshead's womb,
Were tumbled furious thence; the roling tomb
O'er the stones thunders, bounds from side to side:. . .
So Regulus, to save his country, died.
Where a dim gleam the paly lantern throws 335
O'er the mid pavement, heapy rubbish grows ”

“ With thee conversing, I forget the way.480
Behold that narrow street which steep descends,
Whose building to the slimy shore extends—
Here Arundel's fam'd structure rear'd its frame; ”

“ Earth, sea, and air,
Are daily ransack'd for the bill of fare:200
Blood stuff'd in skins is British Christian's food;
And France robs marshes of the croaking brood; ”

“ Forbids the thunder of the footman's hand,
Th' upholder. ”

“ Her head to shelter from the sudden show'r?
Nature will best her ready hand inform,305
With her spread petticoat to fence the storm.
Does not each walker know the warning sign,
When wisps of straw depend upon the twine
Cross the close street, that then the pav'or's art
Renews the ways, denied to coach and cart?310
Who knows not that the coachman, lashing by,
Oft with his flourish cuts the heedless eye? ”

“ Walker, distressed by a football, ii, 347
Walkers, inadvertent, to what misfortunes liable, ii, 285; happiness of, ii, 501; free from diseases, ii, 505
Walking advantageous to learning, ii, 551
Wall, to whom to be given, ii, 45; to whom to be denied, ii, 59 ”

“ Shoes, when to provide, i, 29; what sort improper for walkers, i, 30; what proper for dancers, i, 30; what most proper for walkers, i, 33; how to free them from snow, ii, 325
Shower, a man in one, described, i, 191
Signs, creaking, what they indicate, i, 157
Signs, use of, ii, 67
Smallcoal-man, by whom to be shunned, ii, 35 Snowballs, coachmen pelted with them, ii, 329
Snowy weather, ii, 321
Spring, cries then in use, ii, 427
Stage-coaches, an observation on, i, 25
Stockings, how to prevent their being spattered, ii, 91
Street, how to cross a, iii, 165 ”

“ Civility to be paid to walkers, ii, 45
Clement's church, passage by, described, iii, 17
Clergy, what tradesmen to shun, ii, 25
Cloacina, goddess of common sewers, ii, 115
Coach, fallen into a hole, described, iii, 342
Coaches, dangerous in snowy weather, ii, 327; those who keep them uncharitable, ii, 451; at tended with ill accidents, ii, 511; despised by walkers, ii, 570; kept by coxcombs and pimps, ii, 578; a stop of them described, iii, 35; a man surrounded by, iii, 178
Coachman asleep on his box, what the sign, i, 153; his metamorphosis, ii, 241; his whip dangerous, ii, 311 ”