John Kendrick Bangs

“ For my part, I don’t believe you did write it, and I do believe that Shakespeare did. I can tell that by the spelling in the original edition."
"Shakespeare was my stenographer, gentlemen," said Lord Bacon. "If you want to know the whole truth, he did write Hamlet, literally. But it was at my dictation."
"I deny it," said Shakespeare. "I admit you gave me a suggestion now and then so as to keep it dull and heavy in spots, so that it would seem more like a real tragedy than a comedy punctuated with deaths, but beyond that you had nothing to do with it." ”

“ If it had been possible to kill us we’d have died then and there."
"That’s all right," said Nero, with a significant shake of his head. "As my friend Bacon makes Iago say, ‘Beware, my lord, of jealousy.’ You never could play a garden hose, much less a fiddle."
"What do you mean by attributing those words to Bacon?" demanded Shakespeare, getting red in the face.
"Oh, come now, William," remonstrated Nero. "It’s all right to pull the wool over the eyes of the mortals. That’s what they’re there for; but as for us—we’re all in the secret here. What’s the use of putting on nonsense with us?" ”

“ It was a part of their plan that upon this occasion Shakespeare should play pool with Doctor Johnson and the Emperor Nero, and hence it was that the coin bade him repair to the library and chat with Lord Bacon.
"Hullo, William," said the Doctor, pocketing three balls on the break. "How’s our little Swanlet of Avon this afternoon?"
"Worn out," Shakespeare replied. "I’ve been hard at work on a play this morning, and I’m tired."
"All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy," said Nero, grinning broadly.
"You are a bright spirit," said Shakespeare, with a sigh. ”