Jr. Horatio Alger

“ B. I know I have everything comfortable here, but the fact is, Dick, I’m lonely in this great house. You, who pass most of your time in a store, with people constantly coming and going, take pleasure in spending a week or two in a quiet place, and among new scenes; but there’s no novelty in it to me, who have lived here for twenty years with no one in the house but servants. ”

“ Mrs. S. Yes; he’s been tending an apple-stand all day to-day.
Mrs. B. (surprised) . It cannot be. You are surely mistaken.
Mrs. S. Not at all. It has been the town talk.
Mrs. B. (meditatively) . It is very strange.
Mrs. S. Insanity is not hereditary in your husband’s family, is it?
Mrs. B. Oh, no; and yet—let me see. Yes, I am sure he told me that his grandfather died insane. But Frank never could be in such a state. He has too strong a mind for that. ”

“ There must be a door between. In right-hand room is a lounge with pillow and blanket. Flora sits in rocking-chair, soliloquizing.
F. There’s something going on, I’m sure, but what it can be isn’t quite clear to me. Mother has asked me half-a-dozen times if it wasn’t bed-time; and yet she, herself, hasn’t made any preparation toward retiring. I shall lie down, with my clothes on, ready for any emergency. There’s no danger of sleep overtaking me. I feel as if I shouldn’t sleep any at all to-night. ”

“ It seems strange how persons change as they grow older. Then, I was a favorite with the girls, and always escorted one or more to every party, husking, or apple-bee. Now, when called upon to entertain a marriageable person of the other sex, I’m thrown into a decided flutter. It’s ridiculous for one of my age and experience, but still it is a lamentable fact. There was Minnie Warren, a blue-eyed little fairy to whom I got very much attached; in tact, we were engaged. [96] I believe if she hadn’t left Cherryville as she did, I should have finally married her. ”

“ M. He is so careless about his things. You have only to look about you, and you will see at once what I mean. I haven’t been in this room until now since he went to the store this morning. There are (looking at each as she speaks) two hats, two coats, dressing-gown, vest and slippers lying around. He is in such a hurry when he goes away, that he doesn’t notice anything about it, and when he comes home, I have put them all in their places, so I don’t think he realizes what an untidy appearance the room presents. ”

“ M. I don’t expect to go to a fashionable place. But we might get boarded, at a low rate, at some farm-house where we could get fresh fruits and vegetables, and those things which can only be found in the country. I’m sure it’s better to pay one’s money for such things than to spend it for medicine.
Mr. M. The sea-breeze is better than the country air. You might take a trip with the children to Hingham or Nahant once or twice a week. ”

“ Can I have a piano in my room?
Mrs. J. There is a piano in the parlor, which the boarders are at liberty to use when they feel inclined.
Mr. S. But that will not suit me. Perhaps I should wish to play when some one else was using it. No, I must have one in my own room. (Earnestly.) I’m [46] willing to pay extra for it—five, fifteen, or even fifty dollars a week, rather than not to have it.
Mrs. J. Certainly; if you are willing to pay for it I will have one put into your room for you.
Mr. S. You relieve my mind greatly. I will be here to commence boarding to-morrow. ”

“ Forrester: “I notice by my paper that you want to learn to farm. I should like to teach you ‘what I know about farming.’ It would take some time to do it, but I would warrant you a good [199] knowledge of farming in six years. You couldn’t fail to get a thorough knowledge of the business, as I should let you do all the work. My health is poor, and I am only able to oversee the work. As you want a situation, you may as well consider yourself engaged. I shall expect you next Monday. Horace Gregory.”
F. Well! that’s cool! I am afraid that man is troubled by a disease called indolence. ”

“ I will refuse myself to every one else. Remember I have not seen you for a whole week. Notwithstanding your protestations of devotion to me, I fear you are too attentive to your wife, and you know she does not appreciate your love as I do. ”

“ I have too much independence to be subject to the dictation of others.
C. You think so, my dear fellow; but you don’t realize your own weakness.
F. On the contrary, I am confident of my strength, and am willing to wager you one hundred dollars against fifty that I will follow out any plan you may promise to test my courage.
C. I accept the stakes, and feel sure of winning them. Now what shall the plan be? Let me see. (Covers face with his hands for a moment—pauses.) I have it. Frank, you must tend a peanut and apple stand in the Park for one whole day. ”

“ M. I can’t stand boarding here much longer, that’s a fixed fact. Mrs. Jones sets a most wretched table, and the children are really growing thinner every day. If it hadn’t been for the name of it I should have left Hillsdale before this. The reputation of going to the country for the summer is hardly sufficient to pay for living in small rooms, sleeping on stifling feather-beds, and enduring such execrable cookery, and not a book but the Farmer’s Almanac to be found in the house. ”

“ Was there ever any annoyance equal to that of keeping servants? Mine are a constant source of trouble. I have threatened to discharge them all to-morrow morning. But what shall I gain by it? I shall have another set who will perhaps try my patience even more than these have done. Servants understand their importance, and realize their power over their employers. It is becoming a species of tyranny. ”

“ Scene I.—A room at Miss Dane’s boarding-house. Mr. Farwell, R., half reclining on the sofa. Mr. Grover, C., sitting in a chair, with his feet on the table. Both smoking.
Mr. Farwell. Why don’t you get married, Grover? I suppose you intend, at some time, to take to yourself a wife.
Mr. Grover. I might if I could find a woman to suit me. But I don’t want any of the vain and frivolous creatures we constantly meet in society.
Mr. F. They are not all of this description. Now, there’s Gertrude Hobbs. She is a pretty girl. ”

“ That reminds me, Frank; why don’t you marry? I dare say you could find some one in the city foolish enough to take you for better or worse. And you don’t know what a comfort ’tis to a man to have a good wife and a pleasant home. ”

“ What! house-cleaning, Mary?
M. Oh, no. (Turns to greet his companion.) I’m glad to see you, Mr. Hastings. Sit down, do. (Takes coat from chair, and tosses it carelessly on sofa.) You haven’t been here for a long time.
Edwin (looking round with an amused smile) . It is a long time for me to be away.
J. (taking M.’s shawl and bonnet from easy-chair.) Say, Mary, what shall I do with these dry-goods? ”

“ Mrs. J. What’s the matter, Miss Trist?
Miss T. That Mr. Scott, whose room is right opposite mine, is all the time playing on the piano. If it was sacred music I wouldn’t mind; but it’s the quickest kind of dancing tunes.
A. Why don’t you knock at his door and tell him how much it disturbs you? There is no one in the parlor, and he can play there all the afternoon if he wishes.
Miss T. Perhaps I will do so, for I’m afraid I shall go distracted.
(Exit, L.)
B. An’ I must tell ye, mum, that Katy an’ me’ll be afther lavin’ here intirely, if our month’s wages aint paid by to-morrow. ”

“ I suppose she will begin by giving me an account of all the household matters in particular, and the [220] farm-work in general. I can imagine her dressed in a rainbow-colored costume, making a deep courtesy to you, and giving a nod of recognition to your humble servant. I dare say before night she will tell me confidentially all about the country swain whom she most favors.
Mrs. A. Why, Blanche, how you do run on! Don’t, I beg of you, make her appear any more ridiculous than she naturally is. And, above all things else, pray don’t introduce the subject of cows. ”

“ Scene.—Parlor at Mrs. Fisher’s. Mr. F. comes in, and sinks into a chair, R.
Mr. Fisher. How weak I am! I wonder what can be the matter? (Presses his hand first on one cheek, and then the other.) I think I’m a little feverish. (Coughs as if it pained him.) And then this cough; I’m sure my lungs must be affected. But then that’s no wonder, for most of our family died of consumption, and I dare say I shall go in the same way. (Petulantly.) I wonder where Susan is; she’s always gone when I want her. (Rings the bell; servant enters, L.) Mary, where is Mrs. Fisher?
Mary. She went an hour ago, sir. ”

“ J. How would twelve dollars a week do?
A. It wouldn’t do at all. We couldn’t pay expenses.
Mrs. J. But I’m afraid if we charge such high prices we shall not be able to fill our rooms.
A. That’s just the means to accomplish it. Many people judge of the style and reputation of a house by the price asked. You ought to insist on at least fifteen or twenty dollars for the best rooms, and a little less for those not so desirable.
Mrs. J. But that won’t correspond with the advertisement, where I say I take boarders for company, rather than to make money. ”

“ I determined to find someone who would love me for myself alone; so I came out here, and found my wishes realized. Can you forgive me, Annie?
A. What! for coming out here, and wishing to marry me? Yes, I’ll try to. But (archly) I, too, have a confession to make. I also am possessed of property, and came out here to Uncle William for the self-same reason that you did. But I didn’t change my name. I lived on the street beyond you, in the city. But it seems we were obliged to go a hundred miles from home to become acquainted.
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(Edwin enters R., Frank and Annie start up in surprise.) ”

“ Mrs. J. That is very true. I don’t take boarders for profit, but neither do I intend to take them at a loss. I shouldn’t consider their company to be of sufficient value to compensate for that.
Mrs. S. Very well; I see we must look further. I don’t believe we should be suited here. Come, Isadora [42] Malvina. (Goes out, L., with a lofty air, followed by her daughter.)
A. What airs people do put on sometimes! I’m glad she didn’t decide to stay. I shouldn’t want her for a boarder at any price. ”

“ Skinflint, a tall, bony woman, with a sharp, pinched face, is sitting in a rocking-chair, C., knitting.
Mrs. Skinflint (soliloquizes) . I declare I’ll never buy another thing at Thompson’s store. I paid fifteen cents a yard for my last kaliker dress, and Mis’ Hobbs bought one of a peddler yesterday, jest as good, for thirteen cents and three quarters. It’s a shame! On twelve yards I lost fifteen cents. That’s too much money to lose in these hard times. I wish that peddler would come along. I need a sight o’ things, and if I couldn’t beat him down, my name aint Betsy Jane Skinflint. ”

“ You have just been elected as member of Congress, and the people, wild with enthusiasm, are shouting your name, and calling for a speech. (Joe gazes, as if spellbound, on the mirror.) Are you satisfied with the glimpses of the future which I have given you?
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J. (with dignity befitting his future position, and, returning the mirror to her) . Yes, my good woman, you have done very well.
Mme. D. There are few persons to whom such a brilliant future opens. Whenever the glass has mirrored such scenes as I have shown you, it loses power ever after to delineate scenes in common lives. ”

“ Mrs. R. And you dress as if you were eighteen. You refuse me a silk dress, and then go and squander your money on this foolish rig. I should think you had gone stark, staring mad.
Dea. R. (anxiously) . Stop, Reeny, I’ll explain it all. My friends in Rossville came and brought me this suit in the night.
Mrs. R. (contemptuously) . Fiddlestick! Do you expect me to believe that ridiculous story? I’m really afraid you’ve been drinking. Nothing else could ha’ brought you to make such a fool of yourself. ”

“ Well, put them on the piano.
J. But I was just going to open it, so that we might have some music.
M. Well, put them on the sofa, then. There’s certainly room enough there.
J. But some one may sit on them there.
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M. I guess not.
J. (glancing uneasily around) . Hadn’t you better pick up things a little, Mary?
M. (carelessly) . Oh, no, just let them lie as they are.
J. But they look so bad. And you know we frequently have callers in the evening.
M. Oh, they don’t look bad. I don’t see but a thing looks as well in one place as another.
J. I never saw your room look like this before, Mary. ”

“ Franklin Forrester, Esq.—Dear Sir: Uncle William wishes me to write to you concerning an advertisement of yours which he read in our paper. He judges from it that you are not accustomed to working on a farm. He has already two men, but wishes a little more help, provided arrangements satisfactory to both parties could be made. He is willing to pay whatever is reasonable as regard wages, but not knowing how much you can do, he can say nothing more definite. If you wish any further information, a letter directed to William Leighton, Ballardvale, Vermont, will receive [200] prompt attention. ”

“ Mr. P. enters her room and advances to lounge. Flora moves uneasily; then opens her eyes, and fixes them upon her visitor.)
F. (in apparent horror) . Who are you?
Mr. P. (in sepulchral voice) . Flora Willis, I am the spirit of your dead husband.
F. But why do you appear to me in this way? If you are really he, why should you come to me at the dead of night?
Mr. P. (in hollow tones) . We, who are tenants of another sphere, mingle not with mortals; and it is only when all eyes are closed in slumber that we are permitted to walk the earth. ”

“ I’m goin’ to Bostown.
Mrs. P. Massy sakes! Bostown’s a hundred miles off. What you goin’ there for?
J. To make my fortin.
Dea. P. ’Taint so easy as you think for, Jonathan. You’d a plaguy sight better stay round here and help me.
J. I can’t do nothin’ here, dad. I have to work till I get all tuckered out, just to make a livin’ and can’t never wear anything better than overalls. Now, if I was in the city, I could wear store clothes all the time, like that are fellow that boarded up to the tavern last summer.
Mrs. P. I’m afraid, Jonathan, you’re gettin’ proud. ”