Mabel Hale

“ One day Austin sat in his room in deep and troubled thought. It had been many months since such a burden lay on his heart. He was perplexed as well as troubled. That there must be a way out of his trial he knew, but where to find it was his problem. There had been many times in his life when he had longed for some older and wiser one than himself to guide him and his family through the rocks that threatened the little bark, but never did he feel that lack as now. The very foundations of his home were at stake.
Every home must have its breadwinner and its home-maker. ”

“ The sunny, pleasant days of spring had come, and the air was balmy and sweet with the perfume of blossoms, making the vagrant soul of Henry Hill sick with wanderlust, and he could hardly wait to put his plans into action.
“Austin, I believe I shall take Lola and Doyle out to your grandmother’s, and try to get work there,” he said one morning at the breakfast-table. “You can stay on here with the other children, and can get along very well if I am gone all summer. It will make it easier for you if I have the little ones.” ”

“ With Nell it was different. When she had given her promise to Austin to help him with the undertaking, she had felt the need of the shelter home would give. She was a little girl then, now she was at the door of womanhood. Instinctively she felt that this was not always to be her home, and she had a longing for the freedom, that normal girlhood feels, from responsibility and care. She longed to go out, as other girls went, to face the battles and make the conquests of life. It seemed to her that unless she made a bold dash for freedom her whole life would be given up to dull household tasks. ”

“ There are times when words are insufficient to express one’s feelings. Austin found himself at one of these places. His heart had been almost broken with sorrow for the shattered home circle, and the deepest desire of his heart was to gather the children together again and if possible build for them a home where they could have a chance for home influences and comforts. That he could not do this without cheerful cooperation from his sisters he knew. So Nell’s simple little answer sent a thrill of joy and hope too sweet for words to the very depths of his heart. ”

“ In fact he felt better away with some of his friends than when at home with Austin. It is not a pleasant thing for any father to feel that the serious eyes of his own son rest upon him in disapproval and reproof. Every sight of the boy made him feel uncomfortable and as if he did not come up to what was expected of him. Austin was not a fellow to speak out his reproofs, but he thought them and his eyes told what his heart was saying. Every week found him and his parent farther and farther apart—if possible. ”

“ I do not know how long I shall stay; but if I like it I shall stay all summer. I feel as if I never wanted to come back to the round of housework and cooking. I am so, oh, so tired of it all! But maybe I shall get homesick when I am once away.”
The first of June came, closing the term of school, and the next day Doyle was ready to start for the farm. So jubilant was he that he did not see the pained look on Austin’s face, nor for one moment saw the wound it was to Austin that he could part with his home so easily. Austin’s whole life was bound up in his home. ”

“ Do the children appreciate what he has done! Did you ever see children in their teens who appreciated what their rearing had cost, not in dollars and cents, but in tears and prayers and pain? I think not. Just wait till those children have felt the load of responsibility settle upon their shoulders, fitting itself to their capacity; just let them shed a few tears of sorrow and anguish, and let them sacrifice, as they will do, for love’s sweet sake—and then they will appreciate him and all he has done. ”

“ Is this not a good home for you?” asked Austin, who felt hurt at what the child had said.
“Oh, this is all right. But I want a father and a mother,” said Doyle.
There is a longing in the heart of a child for the love and protection of parents that no amount of sacrifice and devotion on the part of another can fill. Doyle could not remember his mother, and had little close association with his father. He loved Austin, but he could not get away from his longing for his parents. ”

“ Austin, you are too overbearing for anything, and I can not stand it,” and angry tears were close.
“Amy, I have not relented in my decision that if I make a home for you children you must live orderly, quiet lives. It is useless for me to work and labor for a home, and have it spoiled by evil associates. If you live with us you must abide by the rules.” ”

“ Why should I have a chance made for me while you make the chance for all the rest?”
“I am not complaining of my lot, Harry. I am only too glad to be able to work, and that I have been favored with that which brings us a good livelihood. I want you to stay in school. It is the thing you ought to do. There will be plenty of time for you to help after you have a few more years of school.”
“Austin, I am going. I have made up my mind and I will not be turned. I shall get a job somewhere and look out for myself, and help you when I can. ”

“ You know what life is here, and when you have tried that out, decide what you will do. I shall hate to give you up, but if you want your father and he wants you, I have no right to keep you apart.”
“Oh, Austin, thank you!” exclaimed the boy. “There is nothing in town. I want to go to the country, where I can drive and ride the horses and bring in the cows, and go hunting, and climb trees. There is everything out there, and nothing here but to help Nell with the housework, and I hate that.” ”

“ Austin expected no sympathy and asked for none from either his brother or father in the way he was taking. He perhaps went to the opposite extreme and was so indifferent to what they thought that it had the effect of antagonizing them. It is at least a fact that there was no feeling of sympathy nor cooperation between them, and that antagonism grew until it was almost open warfare between him and his father. He felt such a repugnance toward his father and a hatred of the way he was taking that it continually showed out in his attitude toward him. ”

“ If he had had any misgivings as to his welcome, they were quick to dispel them.
“Where are Nell and Harry?” asked Austin when he could get his breath.
“Nell is caring for Mrs. Blaine’s children, and Harry is riding Mr. Smith’s lead horse,” promptly explained Doyle.
“Papa found places for all of us, and we like it better than staying at home alone. It is so lonely without you, Austin. Now we can all come back home again,” and Amy’s eyes were filled with tears as she looked into her beloved brother’s face. ”

“ Austin had been willing to stay. He had expressed no reluctance at all, and every week brought a letter from the children telling how well they were getting along. He was not hurt by any remorse at their words, but it seemed to him that they were unnecessarily partial to Austin in their judgment, and he felt a sort of animosity toward him on that account. Austin was only doing his duty by the children, so why should he be so praised and pitied? But a man can not long stand the bite of a fly without flinching, and Henry Hill found that he must do something to rid himself of these criticisms. ”

“ He knows nothing but responsibility. He never was young. I am sorry for every unkind word and act I ever gave him. I am going to write Nell a letter telling her just what I think of her plans.” Suiting her actions to her words, she wrote a long letter to Nell, pouring out her heart in sisterly fashion.
“What if Austin has made mistakes! Look over them. You can not expect him to be faultless when we are so full of faults. Stay at home, Nell, and make him a home as long as he needs you. He has done more for you than has any one else. No one cares for you as he does. ”

“ I think, Austin, that you have expected both Amy and Nell to be like your self in steadiness and singleness of purpose, when you have not really had any youth. Possibly the very fact that you had to fight off every youthful inclination and be a mature man before your time, for the sake of your family, has placed you where you can not sympathize with their fickleness. Really, Austin, they are girls, just girls. ”

“ Amy had not made the best of a success as housekeeper. She hated work in the house, cooking and dish-washing especially. If her father had been more kind, she would have done better, but he was quick to criticize and slow to approve, and she had been glad to see the family scattered that she might be free from the drudgery. Though she was glad for the freedom from responsibility, yet she did not like being drifted about, and longed for Austin. ”

“ It was the call of youth in his veins that stirred these restless longings, but Austin had no one to explain this to him. It is not nature that a boy should settle down to carry a man’s responsibilities, and any boy who has it to do will either become a drudge or will suffer with restless longings that can hardly be controlled. ”

“ Who would give him the advice and council so needed by every young Christian? To whom should he go in times of spiritual darkness and perplexity?
“Austin, you will have peculiar trials in your father’s home, for you tell me he is not only unsaved, but a drinking man also. If you settle it in your heart to be a bold witness for Christ from the beginning, you will have little trouble with discouragements from him. Be bold and determined and keep your faith strong in God, and you will be able to meet the hardest trials.” ”

“ No, Amy, you are far from able to choose your own company properly. You need some one over you all the time. You must listen to me. You will bring reproach on yourself and on us. You are not doing well in school, and I will not forbid your getting work; but if you stay at home you must be under the same rules as the rest. I can not have you running around nights in evil company. ”

“ Every day they heaped Austin with advice and counsel. The children heard them talking to him telling him just how to make the changes on their journey and how to arrange the baggage, and how to conduct themselves, and it filled them with respect for their brother. They felt safe in his care and certain that he would bring them safely to their father once more.
“Austin,” said his uncle one day, “there is one promise I wish you to make me. You are a good boy and have started out the right way to make a noble man. ”

“ But he did not divide his summer’s wages.
“Girls, I have had a rise,” said Austin one evening, and sat back to enjoy the expressions of pleasure from his sisters.
“But there is another side to it. I will have to work nights. I shall have long hours and be away every night but one each week. How will that suit you?” he added.
“We shall not be afraid,” said Amy and Nell together.
“But I shall not be here to take you out of evenings. It will not do for you girls to be running about alone, and I fear the time will hang heavy on your hands.” ”

“ What he had fought so hard to hold from his own, now was being poured out upon his helpless little cousins. A thought of help and succor came again and again to his mind, but he remembered how frail Nell was for any added burden. Her sharp eyes saw the struggle and doubt in his mind, and she knew his thoughts.
“Austin, couldn’t we take the three little ones home with us? Uncle could manage with the three older ones till he can make some arrangements.”
“Nell, it would add much to your already full hands. It hardly seems fair to you,” Austin said hesitatingly. ”

“ But now, as he sat under the preaching of God’s word, he became conscious of a longing in his soul that only acquaintance with God could satisfy. He desired with all his heart to be a Christian.
But the same obstacles stood in his way that hinder the spiritual progress of other boys. He was timid, extremely so, and the thought of going forward and kneeling with the other seekers at the altar of prayer frightened him. And he feared he could not hold out if he did start, which would be worse than not starting at all. ”

“ Nell is your housekeeper anyway. She wants to boss everything in the house. I can easily make my own way, and have a good time besides.”
“Amy, this is your home. You are as welcome as any of the children. I shall require nothing of you that I would not of Nell. But I must have it understood that you will have to recognize the rules of the home. I do not want you to feel that I am driving you from home, but that I am only giving you a reasonable choice.”
“It is not much of a home you offer. Work hard all the time and never go anywhere. ”

“ Tears wet honest faces as the people bade the children good-by.
Uncle John and Aunt Tillie stood with their arms about the children as the great engine drew near, and clasped them once more to their bosoms in a last caress, then they were on the train and away. This journey was like their first month alone, too uneventful to deserve any comment. Their father was at the station to meet them and took them directly to their grandfather’s home. As this home was too small to accommodate them long, their new home was waiting for them. Grandmother Hill received them with open arms. ”