Mary Astell

“ Let the Men applaud, and let them glory in this wonderful Humility! Let them receive the Flatteries and Grimaces of the other Sex, live unenvied by their own, and be as much belov’d as one such Woman can afford to love another! Let them enjoy the Glory of treading in the Footsteps of their Predecessors, and of having the Prudence to avoid that audacious Attempt of soaring beyond their Sphere! ”

“ Adieu to the Liberties, not of this or that Nation or Region only, but of the Moiety of Mankind! To all the great Things that Women might perform, inspir’d by her Example, encouraged by her Smiles, and supported by her Power! To their Discovery of new Worlds for the Exercise of her Goodness, new Sciences to publish her Fame, and reducing Nature it self to a Subjection to her Empire! ”

“ He is, I confess, very fond of his own Dear Person, he sees very much in it to admire; his Air and Mien, his Words and Actions, every Motion he makes, declare it; but they must have a Judgment of his Size, every whit as shallow, and a Partiality as great as his own, who can be of his Mind. How then can I Love? And if not Love, much less Honour. Love may arise from Pity, or a generous Desire to make that Lovely which as yet is not so, when we see any hopes of Success in our Endeavours of improving it; but Honour supposes some excellent Qualities already, something worth our Esteem ”

“ To name but one; Who will care to pull upon themselves an Hornet’s Nest? ’Tis a very great Fault, to regard rather Who it is that speaks, than What is spoken; and either to submit to Authority, when we should only yield to Reason; or if Reason press too hard, to think to ward it off by Personal Objections and Reflections. Bold Truths may pass while the Speaker is Incognito, but are seldom endur’d when he is known; few Minds being strong enough to bear what contradicts their Principles and Practices, without recriminating when they can. ”

“ A Woman therefore can never have too nice a Sense of Honour, provided she does not prefer it before her Duty; she can never be too careful to secure her Character, not only from the Suspicion of a Crime, but even from the Shadow of an Indiscretion. ’Tis well worth her while to renounce the most Entertaining, and, what some perhaps, will call the most Improving Company, rather than give the World a just Occasion of Suspicion or Censure. ”

“ There is not a surer Sign of a noble Mind, a Mind very far advanc’d towards Perfection, than the being able to bear Contempt and an unjust Treatment from one’s Superiors evenly and patiently. For inward Worth and real Excellency are the true Ground of Superiority, and one Person is not in reality better than another, but as he is more Wise and Good. But this World being a Place of Trial, and govern’d by general Laws, just Retributions being reserv’d for hereafter, Respect and Obedience many times become due for Order’s sake, to those who don’t otherwise deserve them. ”

“ Not that this is altogether an unnecessary Question, for Marriage without a Competency, that is, not only a bare Subsistence, but even a handsome and plentiful provision, according to the Quality and Circumstances of the Parties, is no very comfortable Condition. They who marry for Love, as they call it, find Time enough to repent their rash Folly, and are not long in being convinc’d, that whatever fine Speeches might be made in the Heat of Passion, there could be no real Kindness between those who can agree to make each other miserable. ”

“ We sigh, we grieve, that any Person capable of being an Ornament to a Family, and Blessing to the Age, should only serve as an unhappy Shipwreck to point out the Misfortune of an ill Education and unsuitable Marriage, and the inexpressible Danger of seeking Consolation and Relief, in any thing but Innocence and Vertue. ”

“ Ingratitude is one of the basest Vices, and if a Man’s Soul is sunk so low as to be guilty of it towards her who has so generously oblig’d him, and who so intirely depends on him, if he can treat her disrespectfully, who has so fully testified her Esteem of him, she must have a Stock of Vertue which he should blush to discern, if she can pay him that Obedience of which he is so unworthy.
Superiors indeed are too apt to forget the common Privileges of Mankind; that their Inferiors share with them the greatest Benefits, and are as capable as themselves of enjoying the supreme Good ”

“ What an ill Figure does a Woman make, with all the Charms of her Beauty, and Sprightliness of her Wit, with all her good Humour and insinuating Address, though she be the best Oeconomist in the World, the most entertaining Company, if she remit her Guard, abate in the Severity of her Caution, and Strictness of her Vertue? If she neglects those Methods which are necessary to keep her, not only from a Crime, but from the very Suspicion of one? ”

“ She will discern a Time when her Sex shall be no Bar to the best Employments, the highest Honour; a Time when that Distinction, now so much us’d to her Prejudice, shall be no more; but, provided she is not wanting to her self, her Soul shall shine as bright as the greatest Heroe’s. ”

“ Indeed nothing can assure Obedience, and render it what it ought to be, but the Conscience of Duty, the paying it for God’s sake. Superiors don’t rightly understand their own Interest when they attempt to put out their Subjects Eyes to keep them Obedient. A blind Obedience is what a Rational Creature should never pay, nor would such an one receive it, did he rightly understand its Nature. For Human Actions are no otherwise valuable, than as they are conformable to Reason; but a blind Obedience is an Obeying without Reason, for ought we know, against it. ”

“ Strength of Mind goes along with Strength of Body, and ’tis only for some odd Accidents which Philosophers have not yet thought worth while to enquire into, that the sturdiest Porter is not the wisest Man! As therefore the Men have the Power in their Hands, so there’s no Dispute of their having the Brains to manage it! Can we suppose there is such a Thing as good Judgment and Sense upon Earth, if it is not to be found among them: Do not they, generally speaking, do all the great Actions and considerable Business of this World, and leave that of the next to the Women? ”

“ So little Reason is there to envy any Man’s Wealth and Greatness, but much to emulate their Wisdom and Vertue whose Views extend to a more durable Felicity.
’Tis natural to well-turn’d Minds, when they hear of any Person eminent in Wit and Beauty, adorn’d with Politeness and Address, to wish these may be accompanied and supported by what is more valuable and lasting, solid Sense and real Vertue. One grieves at any Imputation on such an engaging Character, and if one cannot always find the favourite Person fortunate, one labours for the Consolation of finding them discreet ”

“ An Opinion of the worst Consequence that may be, and the most mischievous to a Woman, because it is calculated to feed her Vanity, and tends indeed to her utter Ruin. For, can it be fit to rush into Temptations, when we are taught every Day to pray against them? If the Trials of our Vertue render it illustrious, ’tis such Trials as Heaven is pleas’d to send us, not those of our own seeking. ”

“ This is all pure Kindness indeed, and therefore no Woman has Reason to be offended with it; for, considering how much she is expos’d in her own, and how safe in their Keeping, ’tis the wisest Thing she can do to put her self under Protection! And then if they have a tolerable Opinion of her Sense, and not their Vanity, but some better Principle disposes them to do something out of the Way, and to appear more generous than the rest of their Sex, they’ll condescend to dictate to her, and impart some of their Prerogative, Books and Learning. ”

“ The World affords us all the Pleasure a sound Judgment can expect from it, and answers all those Ends and Purposes for which it was design’d; let us expect no more than is reasonable, and then we shall not fail of our Expectations.
It is even so in the Case before us; a Woman who has been taught to think Marriage her only Preferment, the Sum-Total of her Endeavours, the Completion of all her Hopes, that which must settle and make her Happy in this World, and very few, in their Youth especially, carry a Thought steadily to a greater Distance ”

“ Such is the Vanity of Human Nature, that nothing pleases like an intire Subjection; what Imperfections won’t a Man over-look where this is not wanting! Though we live like Brutes, we would have Incense offer’d us, that is only due to Heaven it self, would have an absolute and blind Obedience paid us by all over whom we pretend Authority. We were not made to Idolize one another, yet the whole Strain of Courtship is little less than rank Idolatry: But does a Man intend to give, and not to receive his Share in this Religious Worship? ”

“ Other Vices a Man may grow weary of, or may be convinced of the Evil of them, he may forsake them, or they him, but his Humour and Temper are seldom, if ever, put off. Ill-nature sticks to him from his Youth to his grey Hairs, and a Boy that’s Humorous and Proud, makes a Peevish, Positive, and Insolent Old Man. Now if this be the Case, and the Husband be full of Himself, obstinately bent on his own Way, with or without Reason, if he be one who must be always Admir’d, always Humour’d, and yet scarce knows what will please him ”

“ But if Marriage be such a blessed State, how comes it, may you say, that there are so few happy Marriages? Now in answer to this, it is not to be wonder’d that so few succeed; we should rather be surpriz’d to find so many do, considering how imprudently Men engage, the Motives they act by, and the very strange Conduct they observe throughout.
For pray, what do Men propose to themselves in Marriage? What Qualifications do they look after in a Spouse? ”

“ Insolence is never the Effect of Power but in weak and cowardly Spirits, who wanting true Merit and Judgment to support themselves in that Advantageous Ground on which they stand, are ever appealing to their Authority, and making a Shew of it to maintain their Vanity and Pride. A truly great Mind, and such as is fit to Govern, tho’ it may stand on its Right with its Equals, and modestly expect what is due to it even from its Superiors, yet it never contends with its Inferiors, nor makes use of its Superiority but to do them Good. ”

“ Women would Marry more discreetly, and demean themselves better in a married State, than some People say they do. The Foundation, indeed, ought to be laid deep and strong, she should be made a good Christian, and understand why she is so, and then she will be every thing else that is Good. Men need keep no Spies on a Woman’s Conduct, need have no Fear of her Vertue, or so much as of her Prudence and Caution, were but a due Sense of true Honour and Vertue awaken’d in her; were her Reason excited and prepared to consider the Sophistry of those Temptations which would persuade her from her Duty ”

“ But when a Woman marries unequally and beneath her self, there is almost Demonstration that the Man is sordid and unfair; that instead of loving her he only loves himself, trapans and ruins her to serve his own Ends. For if he had not a mighty Opinion of himself, (which Temper is like to make an admirable Husband) he would never imagine that his Person and good Qualities could make Compensation for all the Advantages she quits on his Account. If he had a real Esteem for her, or valued her Reputation, he would not expose it, nor have her Discretion call’d in Question for his sake ”

“ When a Man, and for certain much more when a Woman, is fallen into this Toil, that is, when either have been so unwary and indiscreet as to let another find out by what Artifices he may manage their Self-love, and draw it over to his Party, ’tis too late for anyone who is really their Friend, to break the Snare and disabuse them.
Neither Sex cares to deny themselves that which pleases, especially when they think they may innocently indulge it; and nothing pleases more than the being Admir’d and Humour’d. ”

“ Respect being all he dare at present pretend to: when a more than ordinary Deference is paid; when something particular appears in the Look and Address, and such an Obsequiousness in every Action, as nothing could engage a Man to, who never forgets the Superiority of his Sex, but a Hope to be observ’d in his Turn: Then, whatever the Inequality be, and how sensible soever he seems to be of it, the Man has for certain his Engines at work, the Mine is ready to be sprung on the first Opportunity, and ’tis well if it be not too late to prevent the poor Lady’s Ruin. ”

“ Cruel indeed! for he tears the Fame, worries the Vertue, and compleats the Destruction of his unhappy Prey. ’Tis well for him that Christianity as yet prevails among us, for this obliges its Votaries to forgive the highest Injuries: Should the Morality of the honest Heathen, which some are pleas’d to profess, but not to practise, become the Fashion, or the old English Spirit, which has done and suffered so much for Liberty and Property, revive among us, alas! what would become of the pretty Fellows? ”

“ As for those other little Things that move their Envy and Ambition, 70they are of no Esteem with a just Considerer, nor will such as violently pursue, find their Account in them.
But how can a Man respect his Wife when he has a contemptible Opinion of her and her Sex? When from his own Elevation he looks down on them as void of Understanding, full of Ignorance and Passion, so that Folly and a Woman are equivalent Terms with him? Can he think there is any Gratitude due to her whose utmost Services he exacts as strict Duty? ”

“ Indeed that mistaken Self-Love that reigns in the most of us, both Men and Women, that over-good Opinion we have of ourselves, and Desire that others should have of us, makes us swallow every Thing that looks like Respect, without examining how wide it is from what it appears to be. ”