Mary Roberts Rinehart

“ Always had to hustle. Used to get up at four o'clock and drive the ice-wagon at college. Went into the show business with a sick bear that I bought for three dollars and a bottle of whisky. That's eight years ago."
Mr. Balsinger had thrust his hands into his pockets, and was staring reminiscently across at the white paint and tan-bark paths of his Eden. From there his eyes came back slowly to the velvety turf at his feet.
"A hundred years, eh!" he said. "A century of weeding and cultivation!" He looked at me whimsically. "I suppose eight years hardly counts, does it, Miss Atwood?" ”

“ When the lid was on the basket, the young man turned to me.
"We thought it was Isabel," he explained, "and she is as quiet as a dove; but this happened to be Emma Louise, and she is having a tantrum."
"What is burning?" I demanded, for the house seemed quiet.
"Nothing," the young man said, evidently trying not to notice what I had on, "except an elderly gentleman, who is burning with rage. I am sorry my pets have annoyed you, Miss Atwood." He knew my name! "I am Balsinger, of Eden Garden, just across the street. We are neighbors, you see. You can go on, Kubar. ”

“ I could have wept with fury, but when I took the whole thing to Jim, he only laughed.
"A razzle-dazzle on his coat of arms!" he said promptly. "Why, bless your little heart, a good electric-studded razzle-dazzle is worth more than a duke's coronet, nowadays. And, anyhow, Balsinger has evidently made up his mind to get you, so you're as good as got."
I am sure there was never such another wooing. Mother decided to take me away at once, although it was not necessary; nothing could have induced me to enter Eden again. But she thought it best to wait until after the 12th of September. ”

“ Sometimes Jim would wander away and leave Mr. Balsinger to me, and he was really most interesting. I must admit that there were times when I had to try very hard to remember the ice-wagon and the cattle-ship and the automobile with "Eden Garden" on it. And all the time the lawns were growing marvelously.
Then, the first thing we knew at home, Jim had accepted the assistant managership of the park. There was a scene, of course, with mother, father's rage being mitigated by the fact that it was the first time Jim had ever wanted to do anything.
"It's business," Jim said. ”

“ The next morning, when I was examining the lawn, covered with tracks like inner-plates, he had the effrontery to come over.
"I am at your feet again, Miss Atwood," he began, taking off his hat.
"Why, are these your tracks?" I asked icily.
"I am more sorry than I can say," he said abjectly. "He's usually a good-tempered beast, Tommy is. But—if you don't mind my saying it—never shoot an ammonia pistol into an elephant's trunk. He is sure to be unpleasant."
"He stuck his trunk through the dining-room screen," I said accusingly.
"He only wanted peanuts," Mr. Balsinger pleaded. ”

“ Maybe we'll have the other elephant out, too, with natives on him, to make it look natural. Balsinger is going to have the camera outfit on the back of a runabout, with a piece of meat fastened to it, and Mr. Pickwick tied to it with a thin line. Start the wagon and the machine, and we ought to get a corking picture of old Pickwick on the trail, drooling for blood."
"Suppose he should break loose!" I shuddered.
Jim laughed.
"Pickwick?" he said. "Why, he's so tame he thinks he's a cat, and he tries to crawl in every lap he sees. ”

“ Let go of me, Whittle!"
"Evans," Mr. Balsinger said quietly, "I have a little family matter to discuss with Mr. Atwood. Suppose you go for the horses."
Evans went; people had a way of doing what Mr. Balsinger told them. Then he turned to me.
"Alicia," he said, "I mean to wait until October, but under the circumstances we had better be married the last of this month—say the 25th; you could get some things together by that time."
Mr. Whittle was alone, and small. Father shook him off and began to get out of the trap. ”

“ I reminded him angrily, "that you wished you had run away with me and married me first, and then telegraphed father!"
"So I do," he said calmly. "When you think about a girl so much that you let somebody stick you with a white elephant that's been bleached with peroxide and ammonia, it's time to get the girl." ”

“ Pickwick, although, when Jim mentioned his project to me, I never dreamed he would choose the 12th of September.
"Here's the idea, Alicia," Jim said. "You see, Balsinger is a crackerjack at taking moving pictures, and he's got an idea. We are going to have a lion hunt, out in the country somewhere, with me stationed on an elephant and firing blanks as fast as my loader can hand 'em to me. ”

“ You'll make him angry. Good old fellow, nice old fellow! Confound the luck, he don't like those olives!"
At first I had been terribly frightened, but now I could see a dozen men posted around the clearing, behind trees. I even thought I could make out Jim, with a helmet and puttees, and near him a man in a gray suit like Mr. Balsinger's, only he had a black box in front of him, fastened around his neck with a strap.
Mr. Pickwick sat down suddenly and pursued something along his tail to the tip. ”

“ About that time people began to run through the park gates, and a young man came across to father. He had a blanket over his arm, and there was a swarthy man with him. carrying a basket. When they saw father, they stopped.
"What's burning?" the young man asked.
"Nothing," father snorted, giving the thing another jerk. "Some of the snakes have got out of Eden, and I'm sending for St. Patrick." The engines were coming up the street by this time, Jim said, and father had worked himself into a frenzy. ”

“ Mr. Balsinger went on, not glancing at father. "I'm sorry, too, to appear to threaten; but really, if your father doesn't control himself better, I shall have to do it."
"Do what?" Mr. Whittle demanded from the trap.
"You see, Alicia, although the escape of Mr. Pickwick was unpremeditated—being the fault of your brother, who dropped the rope—still, having come out to get a moving picture, and the opportunity presenting itself just now, I succeeded in obtaining what will be the most popular exhibition film in the country. ”

“ There were plenty of new people crazy to live on North End Avenue; but rather than sell to them, we pastured cows for years in the heart of the city. The papers used to compute the interest going to waste, and said that every blade of grass the cows ate was worth something like fifty cents. ”

“ Real terror is unmistakable. It cannot be faked."
"Surely no gentleman would do such a dastardly thing!" said mother again feebly.
"Not unless he was compelled to, Alicia. Of course, it could be arranged. If, for instance, your father will admit that this is blood on my handkerchief, and not pink lemonade—"
Father—"I'll be hanged if I will. I don't want to speak to you!"
Mr. Balsinger—"And that instead of a razzle-dazzle on my coat of arms, I may have a lion rampant—"
Father—"I'll sue you. I'll get out an injunction!"
Mr. Balsinger (wheeling) —"By to-night!" ”