Michael Fairless

“ In Westminster, by some miracle, he had been spared the sight of violent death—ay, or of death in any form—and had seen nothing worse than a rogue in the stocks, for which sight he had thanked Heaven piously.
“’Tis the fault of the rich,” said a voice, and Hilarius saw, to his surprise, that there was a second friar in the room; a tall, bullet-headed man, with a heavy, obstinate jaw ornamented with a scanty fringe of black hair.
“The rich grow fat, and the poor starve,” he went on, “’tis hunger makes a man kill his brother for a mouthful of mouldy bacon.” ”

“ The mischievous apes laughed—how they laughed!
“So, good Preacher,” said the dancer at last, rising to her feet, “thou dost know it is wrong to steal; but hast never felt hunger. Thou dost know it is wrong to love any but God, the Saints, and thy mother; but thou hast never known a mother, nor felt what it was to love. Blind eyes! Blind eyes! the very forest could teach thee these things an thou would’st learn. Farewell, good novice, back to thy Saints and thy nursery; for me the wide wide world; hunger and love—love—love!” ”

“ Hilarius gave a little cry.
“’Tis like the New Jerusalem!” he said, and Martin smiled grimly.
An hour later they stood within the walls of Westminster city, and Hilarius, amazed and weary, clung close to Martin’s side. Around him he saw russet-clad archers, grooms, men on horseback, pedlars, pages, falconers, scullions with meats, gallant knights, gaily dressed ladies; it was like a tangled dream. The gabled fronts of the houses were richly blazoned or hung with scarlet cloth; it was a shifting scene of colour, life, and movement, and to Hilarius’ untutored eyes, wild confusion. ”

“ This is the City of Refuge to which a man may flee when he has robbed or murdered his fellow, or been guilty of treason, seditious talk, or slander—a strange place in which to see such a face as thine.”
“I did but seek a quiet way home and lost the turning,” said Hilarius; “in sooth, ’tis a fearful place.”
“Ay, boy, ’tis a place of darkness and despair, despite its safety—even the King’s arm falls short when a man is in these precincts: but from himself and the knowledge of his crime, a man cannot flee; hence I say ’tis a place of darkness and despair.” ”

“ Man’s law may fail to reach, but there is ever hell-fire for the unrepented sinner.”
Hilarius nodded, and his eyes wandered over the squalid place with the North Porch of the Abbey for its sole beauty.
“It must be as hell here, to live with robbers and men with bloody hands.”
“Nay,” said the old man hastily, “many of them are kindly folk, and many have slain in anger without thought. ’Tis a sad place, though, and thy young face is like a sunbeam on a winter’s day. Come, I will show thee thy road.” ”

“ Then great darkness fell upon the soul of Hilarius, and he clasped the Prior’s knees weeping and praying like a little child.
“And so, my son,” said the Prior, “for a time thou shalt go out into the world, to strive and fail, hunger and love; only have a care that thou art chaste in heart and life; for it is the pure shall see God, and seeing love Him. ”

“ Hilarius had written of his saintly mistress to Prior Stephen just as he had written of the wondrous beauty of St Peter’s Abbey: “With all its straight, slender, upstanding pillars, methinks ’tis like the forest at home” (forgetting that his more intimate knowledge of the forest partook of the nature of sin) . “The Lady Eleanor, my honoured mistress,” he wrote, “is a most saintly and devout maiden, full of heavenly lore, and caring nought for the things of this world;” and he added, “’tis beautiful to see such devotion where for the most part are sinful and light-minded persons.” ”

“ A man suns himself in the warmth of her caresses by day, and at night she is cold, chaste, unattainable; at one time she is all smiles and tears, then with boisterous gesture she bids one seek shelter from her buffets. She gives all and yet nothing; she trails the very traces of her hair across a man’s face only to elude him. She holds him fast, for she is mother of all his children; yet he must seek as though he knew her not, or she flouts him.”
Hilarius listened eagerly. Was this what the dancer had meant—the “wide wide world, hunger and love”?
“Did’st thou ever hunger, good Martin?” ”

“ Prior Hilarius watched his children with a tender smile on his white face, and a prayer on his lips that love might have its triumph.
Five monks stood up, among them the Sub-Prior, and seven novices sprang also to their feet.
“Nay, Brother Walter,” said Hilarius, turning to the Sub-Prior, “this flock must have its shepherd also; thy place is here. But I will take with me Brother Simon and Brother Leo, who will doubtless suffice at first for the ministry, and—” smiling at the novices—“all these dear lads to tend the sick and bury the dead.” ”

“ Still, the King is a good master, and lets me roam as I list if I will but come back; ’tis ill-faring in winter, so back I go to pipe in my cage and follow the Court until next Lady-day lets the sun in on us again.”
He struck his vielle lightly, and the two fell into a slower pace as the minstrel sang. Hilarius’ eyes filled with tears, for he was still heart-sore, and Martin’s voice rose and fell like the wind in the tossing tree-tops which had beckoned him over the Monastery wall. The song itself was sad—of a lover torn from his mistress and borne away captive to alien service. ”

“ In every village the Friar preached and called on men to repent and be saved, for Death’s shadow was already upon them. Folk wondered and gaped—the Plague was still only a name ten leagues east of London—but many repented and confessed and made restitution, though some heard with idle ears, remembering the prophecy of Brother Robert who had come with the same message half a man’s lifetime before, and that no evil had followed his preaching. ”

“ God help me for a poor, blind fool!”
“Nay,” she answered, “there is naught to forgive; and see, thou hast learnt to hunger and to love! Farewell, little brother, we pass here again a fortnight hence, and I would fain have word of thy little maid. Ay, and shouldst thou need a home for her, bring her to us; my old grandam is in the other waggon and she will care for her.”
Hilarius ran across the fields, full of sorrow for his sin, and yet greatly glad because of the wonderful goodness of God. ”

“ Then between the stars came the Holy City with roof and pinnacle aflame, and walls aglow with such colours as no earthly limner dreams of, and much gold. Brother Ambrose beheld the Gates of Pearl, and by every gate an angel, with wings of snow and fire, and a face no man dare look on, because of its exceeding radiance. ”

“ A sight for gods, but not for monks; above all, not for untutored novices such as Hilarius.
His sin had found him out; it was the Devil, the lovely lady of St Benedict; he drew breath and crossed himself hastily with a murmured “Apage Sataas!”
The dancer stopped, conscious perhaps of a chill in the wind.
“O what a pretty boy!” she cried gaily. “Playing truant, I dare wager. Come and dance!”
Hilarius crimsoned with shame and horror. “Woman,” he said, and his voice trembled somewhat, “art thou not shamed to deck thyself in this devil’s guise?” ”

“ Day by day he set apart some hours for this service; and he limned a face so fair and radiant, with woman’s love and light of heaven, that it was whispered in the cloister walks that the Prior had surely been blessed by a vision, else had he never pictured the Maid-Mother in so wondrous a fashion: and of a truth a man might well give credence to such a story, for the joy that shone in the Prior’s eyes and might not be hid.
Many other tales did the Brethren tell of Hilarius, but softly, for he would hear no word of his own deeds or the favours vouchsafed him. ”

“ Woe, woe, woe, a disobedient and gainsaying people! Woe, woe, woe, a people hating righteousness and loving iniquity! The Lord shall straightway destroy them from off the face of the earth.”
He made an imperative gesture of dismissal, and first one and then another in the crowd turned to slink home like beaten dogs, snarling, growling, but afraid.
Hilarius and Martin buried the witch at the back of her wretched den; and the Friar, the priest lost in the son, prayed long by the else unhallowed grave, and Martin prayed beside him. ”

“ But see, here comes one who knows little enough of hunger or love.” Round the bend of the road came a man in hermit’s dress carrying a staff and a well-filled wallet. His carriage seemed suddenly to become less upright, and he leaned heavily on his stick as he besought an alms from the two travellers.
Hilarius felt for his purse, but Martin stayed him.
“Nay, lad, better have left thy money with the pick-purses than help to fill the skin of this lazy rogue; ’tis not the first time we have met. See here,” and with a dexterous jerk he caught the hermit’s wallet. ”

“ He told Lady Eleanor of Martin’s words.
“God save the King!” she said, and went into her oratory to pray: and there was need of prayer, for the Minstrel’s foreboding was no idle one. Ere London knew it the Plague was at her gates; yet the King, undeterred, came to spend Christmas at Westminster; but Martin was not in his train. Men’s mirth waxed hot by reason of the terror they would not recognise. Banquet and revel, allegory and miracle play; pageant of beautiful women and brave men; junketing, ay, and rioting—thus they flung a defiance at the enemy ”

“ The hedges were white, the fields scorched and brown; the leaves fell from the trees as at autumn’s touch; the fruits scarce formed hung wry and twisted on the bough; the heavens burnt pitiless, without a cloud.
Dickon, the woodman, sat by the wayside gnawing a crust and a scrap of mouldy bacon. There was no sound but the howl of a dog from some neighbouring farmstead, and he sat in sullen mood, his bill-hook beside him, brooding over his wrongs; for the world had gone contrary with him.
His wife was dead; she had died in childbed a month gone, leaving six hungry, naked brats on his shoulders ”

“ He soon perceived, as he watched her at banquet, tourney, or pageant, that she went to a revel as to the Sacrament, and sat at a mummers’ show with eyes fixed on the Unseen. She moved through the gay vivid world of Court gallants and joyous maidens like a shadow, and the rout grew graver at her coming.
It was much the same with her lover, Guy de Steyning—brother of that Hugh de Steyning men wot of as Brother Ambrosius—a gentle knight with mild blue eyes, a peaked red beard, and great fervour for heavenly things. The pair liked one another well ”

“ Five days passed, and despite extreme care victuals were short. Hilarius dug up roots from the hedgerows, and went hungry, but at last the pinch came; the woman was too weak and ill to walk, the babe scarce in life—there could be no thought of flight—and the little maid grew white, and wan and silent. Then it came to Hilarius that he would once again beg food in the village where he had sought help before. ”

“ The Prior shook his head.
“Nay, my son, so it must be; else how shall I answer to the Master for this most precious lamb of my flock? Come back to us—an thou can’st—let no fear deter thee; p. 22only take heed, when thine eyes are opened and the great gifts of hunger and love are vouchsafed thee, to keep still the faithful heart of a little child.”
Then he bade him go; and Hilarius, for the pull of his heart-strings, must needs run hot-foot down the broad forest road and along the highway, without daring to look back, and so out into the wide, wide world. ”

“ Great is the rule of Benedict, our Father, and in it stripes, grievous and many as our sins, have their rightful place; but mayhap we forget that love, and love alone, should strike. Ay, and I mind me how Prior Stephen, my Father, said that to be monk a man must learn before all things to hunger and to love. Love should draw the water and build the fire, till the field and attend the sanctuary; and hunger we should cherish in our hearts, hunger for righteousness and for the souls of our brethren, for this is the hunger of God.
“Men come over lightly to the Lord’s work ”

“ The Plague will come and come swiftly, but it shall not touch thee; many shall die in their sins; thou shalt live on with thine. A brute thou art, and with brutes thou shalt herd; thou shalt howl as a ravening wolf, and as such men shall hunt thee from their doors. Thou shalt seek death, even as Cain sought and found it not, because of the mark of the Lord. ”

“ A good knight and a God-fearing man was Sir John, tender to his children, gentle with his people, a faithful servant to God and King Edward; shrewd withal, and an apt reader of men. Therefore, and because of the love he bore to Prior Stephen, he set Hilarius to attend his eldest daughter, who seemed to belong as little to this world as the lad himself ”

“ The streets were full of life and colour; serving men in the livery of Abbat and Knight, King and Cardinal, lounged at the tavern doors dicing, gaming, and drinking. Hilarius walked delicately and strove to shut eyes and ears to the sights and sounds of sin. He delivered the purse, only to hear mine host curse roundly because it was lighter than the reckoning ”

“ Hilarius felt the ground slipping from under his feet.
“There is an evil love, and a holy love; it is good to love God and the Saints and the Brethren—”
“But not the sisters?” the wicked little laugh pealed out. “Poor sisters! Why, boy, the world is full of love, and not all for p. 11the Saints and the Brethren, and it is good—good—good!” She opened her arms wide. “’Tis the devil and the monks who call it evil. Hast thou never seen the birds mate in the springtime, nor heard the nightingale sing?”
“It is well for a husband to love his wife, and a mother her child. ”

“ The next day in the Chapter the Prior spoke.
It comes to pass oftentimes that men seeing a sign are made curious by it; and then forgetting, find the clue thereto, it may be, long after. Even thus it happened on this day in the Chapter; and when Prior Hilarius was gathered to his rest the Brethren remembered how they had marked and marvelled at the strange beauty of his face, the beauty as of one who sees the face of the Lord. ”