Michael Fairless

“ He crossed himself piously at the thought of the near neighbourhood of devils busied with a thrice-damned soul.
Martin led them out of Bungay by the Earsham road, and the Friar clung to him like a little child, for the strength of his vision was spent. They lay that night with a friendly shepherd; but only one slept, and that one Hilarius. He lay on a truss of sweet-smelling hay, and dreamt of Wymondham and Brother Andreas; of gold, vermilion and blue; of wondrous pictures, and a great name: and the scent of the pine forest at home swept across his quiet sleep. ”

“ It bids you rest and bury your tired face in the green coolness, and breathe of its breath and of the breath of the good earth from which man was taken and to which he will one day return. Then, if you lend your ear and are silent minded, you may hear wondrous things of the deep places of the earth; of life in mineral and stone as well as in pulsing sap; of a green world as the stars saw it before man trod it under foot—of the emerald which has its place with the rest in the City of God. ”

“ In a few minutes we returned with a pail of ashes, the ashes, of course, of ‘luvly miss’ mingled with those of the cruel fire which had consumed her. I danced solemnly round them, murmured mysterious words, parted the ashes, and revealed the form of ‘luvly miss.’ Love’s eyes were not sharp to mark a change, and little Miss Brown’s misplaced faith in me was strong. Never shall I forget the scream of joy which greeted the restored treasure, or the relief with which I saw an expression of peace settle once more on Miss Brown’s face. ”

“ It is such a wonderful world that I cannot find it in my heart to sigh for fresh beauty amid these glories of the Lord on which I look, seeing men as trees walking, in my material impotence which awaits the final anointing. The marigolds with their orange suns, the lilies' white flame, the corncockle's blue crown [109] of many flowers, the honeysuckle's horn of fragrance—I can paraphrase them, name, class, dissect them; and then, save for the purposes of human intercourse, I stand where I stood before, my world bounded by my capacity, the secret of colour and fragrance still kept. ”

“ Man’s law may fail to reach, but there is ever hell-fire for the unrepented sinner.”
Hilarius nodded, and his eyes wandered over the squalid place with the North Porch of the Abbey for its sole beauty.
“It must be as hell here, to live with robbers and men with bloody hands.”
“Nay,” said the old man hastily, “many of them are kindly folk, and many have slain in anger without thought. ’Tis a sad place, though, and thy young face is like a sunbeam on a winter’s day. Come, I will show thee thy road.” ”

“ All day I sit by the roadside on a stretch of grass under a high hedge of saplings and a tangle of traveller’s joy, woodbine, sweetbrier, and late roses. Opposite me is a white gate, seldom used, if one may judge from the trail of honeysuckle growing tranquilly along it: I know now that whenever and wherever I die my soul will pass out through this white gate; and then, thank God, I shall not have need to undo that trail.
In our youth we discussed our ideals freely: I wonder how many beside myself have attained, or would understand my attaining. ”

“ The mischievous apes laughed—how they laughed!
“So, good Preacher,” said the dancer at last, rising to her feet, “thou dost know it is wrong to steal; but hast never felt hunger. Thou dost know it is wrong to love any but God, the Saints, and thy mother; but thou hast never known a mother, nor felt what it was to love. Blind eyes! Blind eyes! the very forest could teach thee these things an thou would’st learn. Farewell, good novice, back to thy Saints and thy nursery; for me the wide wide world; hunger and love—love—love!” ”

“ Nature is full for us of seeming inconsistencies and glad surprises. The world’s asleep, say you; on your ear falls the nightingale’s song and the stir of living creatures in bush and brake. The mantle of night falls, and all unattended the wind leaps up and scatters the clouds which veil the constant stars; or in the hour of the great dark, dawn parts the curtain with the long foregleam of the coming day. It is hard to turn one’s back on night with her kiss of peace for tired eye-lids, the kiss which is not sleep but its neglected forerunner. ”

“ This is the City of Refuge to which a man may flee when he has robbed or murdered his fellow, or been guilty of treason, seditious talk, or slander—a strange place in which to see such a face as thine.”
“I did but seek a quiet way home and lost the turning,” said Hilarius; “in sooth, ’tis a fearful place.”
“Ay, boy, ’tis a place of darkness and despair, despite its safety—even the King’s arm falls short when a man is in these precincts: but from himself and the knowledge of his crime, a man cannot flee; hence I say ’tis a place of darkness and despair.” ”

“ Old Dodden led by right of age and ripe experience; bent like a sickle, brown and dry as a nut, his face a tracery of innumerable wrinkles, he has never ailed a day, and the cunning of his craft was still with him. At first we worked stiffly, unreadily, but soon the monotonous motion possessed us with its insistent rhythm, and the grass bowed to each sibilant swish and fell in sweet-smelling swathes at our feet. Now and then a startled rabbit scurried through the miniature forest to vanish with white flick of tail in the tangled hedge ”

“ In Westminster, by some miracle, he had been spared the sight of violent death—ay, or of death in any form—and had seen nothing worse than a rogue in the stocks, for which sight he had thanked Heaven piously.
“’Tis the fault of the rich,” said a voice, and Hilarius saw, to his surprise, that there was a second friar in the room; a tall, bullet-headed man, with a heavy, obstinate jaw ornamented with a scanty fringe of black hair.
“The rich grow fat, and the poor starve,” he went on, “’tis hunger makes a man kill his brother for a mouthful of mouldy bacon.” ”

“ For silence there is sound—the sound and stir of service—for the most part far in excess of its earthly equivalent. Against the fragrant incense of the pines I set the honest sweat of the man whose lifetime is the measure of his working day. “He that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how shall he love God whom he hath not seen?” wrote Blessed John, who himself loved so much that he beheld the Lamb as it had been slain from the beginning when Adam fell, and the City of God with light most precious. ”

“ Hilarius gave a little cry.
“’Tis like the New Jerusalem!” he said, and Martin smiled grimly.
An hour later they stood within the walls of Westminster city, and Hilarius, amazed and weary, clung close to Martin’s side. Around him he saw russet-clad archers, grooms, men on horseback, pedlars, pages, falconers, scullions with meats, gallant knights, gaily dressed ladies; it was like a tangled dream. The gabled fronts of the houses were richly blazoned or hung with scarlet cloth; it was a shifting scene of colour, life, and movement, and to Hilarius’ untutored eyes, wild confusion. ”

“ Ah, well! this world, in spite of all its sinning, is still the Garden of Eden where the Lord walked with man, not in the cool of evening, but in the heat and stress of the immediate working day. There is no angel now with naming sword to keep the way of the Tree of Life, but tapers alight morning by morning in the Hostel of God to point us to it; and we, who are as gods knowing good and evil, partake of that fruit "whereof whoso eateth shall never die"; the greatest gift or the most awful penalty—Eternal Life. ”

“ Hilarius walked on for some time in silence with bent head.
“I fear the world is an ill place and far from godliness,” he said at last.
“It will look thus to one cloister-bred, and ’tis true enough that godliness is far from most men; but if a hermit’s robe may cover a rascal, often enough a good heart lies under an ill-favoured face and tongue. See, lad,” as another turn in the road brought them in sight of Westminster, “there lies thy new world, God keep thee in it!” ”

“ Switzerland came in its turn, unearthly in its white loveliness and glory of lake and sky. But perhaps the landmark which stands out most clearly is the solitary blue gentian which I found in the short slippery grass of the Rigi, gazing up at the sky whose blue could not hope to excel it. It was my first; and what need of another, for finding one I had gazed into the mystery of all. This side the Pass, snow and the blue of heaven; later I entered Italy through fields of many-hued lilies, her past glories blazoned in the flowers of the field. ”

“ Then great darkness fell upon the soul of Hilarius, and he clasped the Prior’s knees weeping and praying like a little child.
“And so, my son,” said the Prior, “for a time thou shalt go out into the world, to strive and fail, hunger and love; only have a care that thou art chaste in heart and life; for it is the pure shall see God, and seeing love Him. ”

“ Their nomenclature is a sealed book to me; of their life and habits I know nothing; yet this is but a little corner of the cosmos I am leaving, and I feel not so much desire for the beauty to come, as a great longing to open my eyes a little wider during the time which remains to me in this beautiful world of God's making, where each moment tells its own tale of active, progressive life in which there is no undoing. Nature knows naught of the web of Penelope, that acme of anxious pathetic waiting, but goes steadily on in ever widening circle towards the fulfilment of the mystery of God. ”