Mrs. Molesworth

“ I shall paddle in winter too. When I'm a man I won't have no nurse."
[19] "Carrots," said Floss, reproachfully, "that isn't good of you. Think how kind nurse is."
"Well, then," replied Carrots, slowly, "I will have her, but she must let me paddle always, when I'm a man."
"When you are a man, Carrots," said Floss, solemnly still, "I hope you will have something better to do than paddling. Perhaps you'll be a soldier, like Jack."
"Killing people isn't better than paddling," retorted Carrots. "I'd rather be a sailor, like papa."
"Sailors have to kill people, too, sometimes," said Floss. ”

“ The spoiling dropped off her like water down a duck's back, and auntie never found out it had been there at all! Perhaps after all there is a kind of spoiling that isn't spoiling—love and kindness, and even indulgence, do not spoil when there is perfect trust and openness, and when a child at the same time is taught the one great lesson, that the best happiness is trying to make others happy too.
They played on the sands nearly all day, and Sybil, to her great delight, was covered up from damage by one of Carrots' blouses. ”

“ How remarkable, how wonderful and changeful the sea is, I doubt if any one can tell who has not really lived by it, not merely visited it for a few weeks in the fine summer time, when it looks so bright and sunny and inviting, but lived by it through autumn and winter too, through days when it looks so dull and leaden, that one can hardly believe it will ever [13] be smiling and playful again, through fierce, rough days, when it lashes itself with fury, and the wind wails as if it were trying to tell the reason. ”

“ I am wandering away from Floss and Carrots [43] waiting for nurse in the cottage garden; you must forgive me, boys and girls—when people begin to grow old they get in the habit of telling stories in a rambling way, but I don't find children so hard upon this tiresome habit as big people sometimes are. And it all comes back to me so—even the old washerwoman's cottage I can see so plainly, and the dear straggly little garden! ”

“ Floss did not say any more, but she seemed to be thinking about what nurse had said. Carrots was thinking too.
"When I'm a man," he said at last, "I won't go to a big school if Floss doesn't want me to."
Nurse smiled. "There's time enough to see about that," she said, "get on with your breakfast, Master Carrots; you'll never grow a big boy if you don't eat plenty."
"Nurse," said Floss, suddenly, "what's the dearest thing we eat? what costs most?" ”

“ If any of you know a very good, kind, gentle, brave man—so good that he cannot but be kind; so brave that he cannot but be gentle, I should like you to think that, perhaps, whatever he is—clergyman, doctor, soldier, sailor, it doesn't matter in the least—perhaps when that man was a boy, he was my little Carrots. Especially if he has large "doggy-looking," brown eyes, and hair that once might have been called "red." ”

“ Floss's frock was rather faded-looking, and there was a mark where it had been let down, and Carrots' brown holland blouse had arrived at a very whitey-brown shade, through much wear and washing.
"It must be hard work with so many children, and such small means," she thought to herself, for auntie had been married young to a rich man, and knew little of "making both ends meet," but aloud she only said, "how lovely little Fabian would look in black velvet, Lucy! What a complexion he has!"
"Yes, if you can forgive him his hair," said Mrs. Desart. ”

“ Fletcher appeared with one in another minute; the thin large envelope, and the black, rather scrawly writing that Floss and Carrots knew so well. It would have been no use trying to conceal it from them, so auntie opened it quietly, though her fingers trembled as she did so. She read it very quickly, it was not a long letter, and then she looked up with the tears in her eyes. "Children, dear children," she said, "it is good news. Your dear mother is a little better, and they have good hopes of her." ”

“ Like the little old woman in the ballad, who turned herself about and wondered and puzzled, but couldn't make out if she was herself or not, we stare at our fulfilled wishes and examine them on every side, but in their altered dress—so different from, and, very seldom, if ever, as pretty as that which they wore in our imagination—we cannot believe that they are themselves!
[131] Do you remember the fancies that Carrots and Floss used to have about their cousin Sybil, and how they wished for her to come to see them? ”

“ He kept out of the way and did not complain, but "mamma" and nurse and Floss did not need complaints to make them see that their little man was not quite himself, and they were extra kind to him.
There came just then some very dull rainy days, regular rainy days, not stormy, but to the children much more disagreeable than had they been so. For in stormy weather at the seaside there is too much excitement for anyone to think whether it is disagreeable or not—there is the splendid sight of the angry, troubled sea, there are the wonderful "storm songs" of the wind to listen to. ”

“ I fancy I see them now, the two dears, coming slowly and solemnly along, each with a hand of their nurse, pulling well back from her, as if the effort to keep up, even with her deliberate rate of walking, was almost too much for their fat little legs. They looked exactly the same size, and were alike in everything, from their dresses—which this first day were brown holland, very easy about the bodies, very short and bunchy about the skirts—to the two white woolly lambs, clasped manfully by each in his or her disengaged hand. ”

“ She used to sleep there herself, but now that Carrots was so big, Floss and he were quite safe by themselves, and poor old nurse enjoyed having her own little room.
Floss was still asleep, so Carrots only climbed out of his own cot into hers, and crouched himself down at the foot, watching for her to wake. Floss [27] looked very nice asleep; her "fuzzy" hair was tumbling over the pillow, and her cheeks looked pinker than when she was awake.
"I wonder what being asleep is," thought the little boy as he looked at her. "I always go away, such a long way, when I am asleep. I wonder if Floss does." ”

“ For you see, children, I am telling you the history of a real little boy and girl, not fancy children, and that is why, though there is nothing very wonderful about Floss and Carrots, I hope the story of their little pleasures and sorrows and simple lives may be interesting to you. ”

“ And "as handy," said nurse, "indeed far more handy than many a girl of five times her age." "I have been thinking," she said one day to Floss's mother, "I have been thinking, ma'am, that even if you had been going to keep an under-nurse to help with baby, there would have been nothing for her to do. For the help I get from Miss Flossie is really astonishing, and Master Baby is that fond of her already, you'd hardly believe it." ”

“ It's getting rather like a fairy story, isn't it Carrots? Fancy if somebody calls out 'Pull the string and the latch will open.'"
"But that would be the wolf, Floss," said Carrots, pressing closer to his sister.
It was no wolf, but a nice, tidy-looking woman with a white cap and a baby in her arms who opened the door, and stood staring at the two little wayfarers in bewilderment. Floss grew afraid that she was angry.
"I'm very sorry—I mean I beg your pardon," she began. "I didn't know this was your house. We thought perhaps it was auntie's. Can you tell me, please, where Greenmays is?" ”

“ I can't think how it can be a nice place."
"But Carrots, dear," said Floss in some distress, "you mustn't think of heaven that way. It isn't like that. Heaven isn't like a place exactly, mamma says. It is just being quite good."
"Being quite good," repeated Carrots thoughtfully. "I wish I could be quite good, Floss, I wish everybody could, don't you?"
[193] "Yes," said Floss. "But really you must get up, Carrots dear; that will be good for just now. Being good always comes in little bits like that." ”

“ When I found myself in the open air, I tried to control myself and look like the rest of the people walking quietly along, though my heart was beating violently, and I felt as if I could not speak without crying. ”

“ Cecil laughed.
"What are you laughing at, Cis?" said Floss. "It is out of the Bible."
"Well, no one said it wasn't," said Cecil.
"Cis," said Carrots, "will you read us another story, another day?"
"If I can find one that you can understand," said Cecil.
"Never mind if I can't," replied Carrots. "I like [129] to hear you reading, even if I can't understand. I like your voice. I think," he added after a pause, "I think, Cis, I'll marry you too, when I'm big. You and Floss, and nurse." ”

“ Only we, who feel this so deeply, take heart when we remember that the Great Gardener who never makes mistakes has promised to help us; even out of our mistakes to bring good.
As I have said, the affair of the lost half-sovereign did not leave any lastingly painful impression on Carrots, but for some days he seemed unusually quiet and pale and a little sad. He had caught cold, too, with falling asleep on the dressing-room [95] floor, nurse said, for the weather was still exceedingly chilly, though the spring was coming on. So altogether he was rather a miserable looking little Carrots. ”

“ Of course the pleasure of going back to our own dear home again, and seeing all our old friends, raised my spirits, and softened the real grief I had felt. But whenever we spoke of St. Austin's, or people asked me about it, and mentioned the esplanade or the shore, or any of the places where I had seen the trots, the tears would come into my eyes, as again I seemed to see before me the two dear funny little figures. And whenever our plans for the following winter were alluded to, I always said one thing: "Wherever you go, mamma, don't go to St. Austin's." ”

“ So we would be very, very kind to her, and after tea we would show her all our things—the dolls, only—Carrots, I'm afraid the dolls are getting rather old."
"Are they?" said Carrots, sympathisingly. "When I'm a man I'll buy you such a lot of new dolls, Floss, and Sybil, too, if she likes dolls—does she, Floss?"
"I don't know. I should think so," said Floss. "When papa and mamma went to see auntie, they said Sybil was like a doll herself. I suppose she has beautiful blue eyes and long gold curls. That was a year ago; she must be bigger now, Carrots." ”

“ Every servant in the household dreaded to hear the sound of her voice, for many had she involved in trouble and disgrace; and as her temper was naturally quick and impetuous, and she never attempted to check her first expressions of provocation, small and even trifling disagreements were by her foolish tongue exaggerated into lasting discord, long after all real cause of offence had passed from her mind. ”

“ Captain Desart sat down and looked at Mott for sympathy.
"Upon my soul," he said, "one could hardly [74] believe it. A child that one would think scarcely knew the value of money! Where can he have learnt such cunning; you say you are sure he was told of nurse's having lost a half-sovereign?"
"Oh, yes," said Mott; "he confesses to that much himself."
"Floss told me," said Carrots.
"Then how can you pretend you didn't know this was nurse's—taking it out of her drawer, too," said his father.
"I don't know. I didn't take it out of her drawer; it was 'aside Floss's doll," said Carrots. ”

“ Desart hesitated.
"In case you were very tired with travelling, or if you were to get a bad cold again; somebody who could make nice white wine whey and things like that," said Floss, who was of a practical turn of mind, "oh yes, mamma, I quite understand."
"Though nurse is getting old, she has been so much accustomed to travelling, too," said Mrs. Desart, "and we are going a long way—to Algeria; Floss, do you know where that is?"
"Over the sea!" said Floss, "I wish we might come too, mamma, Carrots and I," she exclaimed. "You will be so far away." ”

“ That would make you so hot," said Carrots.
Mrs. Desart smiled. Just then her glance happened to fall on Floss's boots. "My dear child," she said, "those boots are really not fit to go out with. There's a great hole at the side of one of them."
"I know, mamma," said Floss, "but they're going to be mended. Nurse thinks they'll do a good while longer, if they're mended. I hope they will, for I know you always have so many new things to get when winter begins to come—haven't you, mamma?" ”

“ Nurse smiled, but said nothing, and Floss looked fidgety.
"What do you mean?" said Mott. "Don't you like sugar—eh, young 'un?"
"Yes, I do like it," replied Carrots, but he would say no more.
Floss grew more and more uneasy.
"Oh, Mott," she burst out, "please don't tease Carrots. It's nothing wrong; it's only something we've planned ourselves."
Mott's curiosity was by this time thoroughly aroused.
[56] "A secret, is it?" he exclaimed, pricking up his ears; "you'd best tell it me. I'm a duffer at keeping secrets. Out with it." ”

“ I seized Gip, my little dog, who was asleep on the hearth-rug and held him up to the window.
'"T'ss, Gip; T'ss, cat. At her; at her," I exclaimed.
'Poor Gip had doubtless been having delightful dreams—it was very hard on him to be wakened up so startlingly. He blinked his eyes and tried to see the imaginary cat—no doubt he thought it was his own fault he did not succeed, for he was the most humble-minded and unpresuming of little dogs, and his faith in me was unbounded. He could not see a cat, but he took it for granted that I did; so he set to work barking vigorously. ”

“ I, consoling myself with the reflection, that as we were to be four months at Pau, there was still a little time left for sight-seeing.
'It was very amusing. There were people of all nations—children of all nations, little French boys and girls, prettily but simply dressed, some chatting merrily, some walking primly beside their white capped bonnes; little Russians, looking rather grand, but not so grand as their nurses in their rich costumes of bright scarlet and blue, embroidered in gold; some very pert, shrill-voiced Americans, and a few unmistakable English. ”

“ White's. She and I searched all over, and she's as honest a body as could be," replied nurse. "No, there's just the chance of its being in the drawer at home. I feel all in a fever till I get there to look. But don't you say anything about it, Miss Flossie; it's my own fault, and no one must be troubled about it but myself."
"Poor nursie," said Floss, "I'm so sorry. But you're sure to find it in your drawer. Let's go home very fast. Carrots," she called out to the little figure obediently trotting on in front, "Carrots, come and walk with nursie and me now. Nurse isn't vexed." ”

“ He would not let Cecil or Louise write, as he thought if it had to be told I had better do so as gently as I could, by word of mouth. But they must be told—they are such quick children, I believe Floss suspects it already. And if—and if the next news [200] should be worse," continued auntie with a little sob, "I would never forgive myself for not having prepared them, and they would be full of self-reproach for having been happy and merry as usual. Floss would say she should have known it by instinct."
"Would they feel it so much?—could they realise it? They are so young," said Sybil's father. ”

“ I shouldn't much like to ask mamma, because, nursie, dear, it is only that we want to get money for something for ourselves, [32] and if we told mamma, it would be like asking her to give us the money. It wouldn't be any harm for us not to eat any sugar in our tea for a month, and you could keep the sugar in a packet all together, nurse, and then you might tell mamma that we had saved it, and she would give us a shilling for it. ”

“ Do you understand a little why it seems sometimes such a very, very solemn thing to have the charge of children? When one thinks what they should be, and again when one thinks what they may be, is it not a solemn, almost too solemn a thought? ”

“ You needn't disturb yourself," he continued, for Carrots was preparing to descend from his high chair, "I know where you keep it; it's in your drawer, isn't it. Which is his drawer, nurse? It'll be a good opportunity for me to see if he keeps it tidy."
"No, no, let me get it myself," cried Carrots, tumbling himself off his chair anyhow in his eagerness. "Nurse, nurse, don't tell him which is mine; [61] don't let him take my paint-box, let me get it my own self." ”

“ Yet Elizabetha constantly found herself, despite their affection, shunned and feared by her best and nearest friends, and absolutely disliked by those who did not know her well enough to feel assured of the real goodness of her heart. ”

“ Floss and Carrots looked ready to cry, but nurse reassured them.
"Never you fear," she said; "he shall have what's proper, but no more. Never was such a boy for sweet things as you, Master Mott."
"It shows in my temper, doesn't it?" he said saucily. And then he was so pleased with his own wit that for a few minutes he forgot to tease, occupying himself by eating lots of bread and butter instead, so that tea went on peaceably. [60]
CHAPTER V.
CARROTS IN TROUBLE.
"But bitter while they flow, are childish tears." ”

“ I never left the sea before, you know."
"But the sea won't miss you," said Floss, "and poor mamma and nursie and all of them will miss us. That's what I keep thinking of."
"When should we eat our dinner, Floss?" said Carrots, with an instinct that it would be as well to change the subject.
"Not just yet. When we've gone about half way would do; and papa said that great big place, Millingham, would be about half way."
[164] "But if there were any other people to get into the carriage?" said Carrots.
"Well, it wouldn't matter," said Floss. "People must eat when they are travelling." ”