Nathaniel Bacon

“ He lay about eight weeks in this condition, in a continual burning, neither desiring, nor receiving any thing but by force, and that without digestion, so spent, that he appeared a perfect skeleton, nothing appearing but sinews and bones, vehemently raging for drink; ever pining, yet fearful for living long; dreading hell, yet coveting death, in a continual torment, yet his own tormentor. And thus consuming himself with grief and horror, impatience and despair, like a living man in hell, he represented an extraordinary example of the justice and power of God, in punishing apostacy. ”

“ Oh! that I might feel but the least sense of the love of God to me, tho' but for one small moment, as I now feel his heavy wrath, that burns like torments of hell within me, and afslicts my conscience with pangs unutterable! Verily desperation is hell itself!
Then Gribauldus said, I do verily believe, Spira, that God having so severely chastised you in this life, correcteth you in mercy here, that He may spare you hereafter; and that He hath mercy sealed up foryou in time to come. ”

“ I believe nothing, I have no faith, no trust, no hope.- I am a reprobate, like Cain or Judas, who casting away all hope of mercy, fell into despair; and my friends do me great wrong, that they suffer me not to go to the place of unbelievers, as I justly deserve." Then they began sharply torebuke him, requiring and charging him, that in any wife he did not violate the mercy of God. To which he answered, "The mercy of God is exceeding large, and extends to all the elect, but not to me, or any like to me, who are sealed up to wrath. ”

“ I tell you, there was never such a monster as I am!-never was any man alive, such a spectacle of exceeding misery!-I knew that my justification was to be expected by Christ, and I denied and abjured it, to the end I might keep this frail life from adversity, and my children from poverty, and now behold how bitter this life is to me!- And God only knows, what shall become of this my family ”

“ But all their skill effected nothing; which made Spira say,
"Alas! poor men, how ignorant are you? Do you think that this disease is to be cured by potions? Believe me, there must be another manner of medicine; it is neither plaister nor drugs that can help a fainting soul, cast down with the sense of sin, and wrath of GOD; it is only Christ that must be the Physician, and the gospel the soul's antidote." ”

“ Be wise at length, and keep thy life and honour; thou mayest live to do much good to men, as God commands thee; and thou mayest be an ornament to thy country. Wilt thou bring thy friends also into danger? Thou haft begotten children, wilt thou now cut their throats, and inhumanly butcher them, who may in time bring honour to their country, glory To God, help and furtherance to his church? Go to the Legate, weak man, freely confess thy fault, and help all these miseries. ”

“ By this time, the fame of Spira was spread all over Padua, and the neighbouring country partly, because as the disease, for the occasion was particularly remarkable. Multitudes, of all sorts, came to see him; some out of curiosity only to see and discourle; some out of a pious desire, to try all means that might reduce him to comfort again; or at least, to benefit themselves by a spectacle of misery, and the justice of God. Amongst thefe Paulus, bishop of Justinopolis, and Mathæus Gribauldus, deserve especially to be named, as the most principal labourers for Spira's comfort. ”

“ And that besides these outward terrors, he felt continually a racking torture in his mind, and a continual gnawing of his conscience, being the very pangs of the damned.
Cast away these fancies, said Gribauldus, these are but illusions; humble yourself in the presence of God, and praise him.
"The dead praise not the Lord, said he, not they that go down to the pit,” We that are drowned in despair, are dead, and already gone down into the pit. What hell can be worse than desperation, or what greater punishment The gnawing worm! ”

“ Consider this in the example of Peter, that was Christ's familiar and apostle, who denied him thrice, and notwithstanding all that, did not Christ shew mercy to him? Is the Lord's hand now shortened that it cannot save?
To this Spira answered, "If Peter grieved and repented, it was because Christ locked on him with a merciful eye; and in that he was pardoned it was not because he wept, but because God was gracious to him. But God respects not me, and therefore I am a reprobate. I feel no comfort can enter into my heart; there is only place there for torments and vexings of spirit. ”

“ What hast thou in this world comparable to everlasting happiness? If thou dost otherwise, think of the scandal; (common people live by example, thinking whatever is done, is well done.) ; fear the loss of peace and joy; fear death, hell, and eternal wrath!!! Or if (illegible text) be so strong as to cause thee to doubt of the issue, fly thy country, get thee away, though never so far, rather than deny the Lord of life.
Now was Spira in reasonable quiet, being resolved to yield to these weighty reasons.- Yet holding it wisdom to examine all things, he consults also with flesh and blood. ”

“ Very well, said one standing by, why do the Scriptures then say, I Sam. v. 9. that God brings down to hell, and raiseth up? Seeing it cannot be meant of the state of the soul after death, which, as thou sayest, either goeth to heaven without change, or to hell without redemption; it must be understood of the state of the soul in this life, like that wherein thou art at present. And oftentimes we see, that God suffers men to fall into the jaws of despair, and yet raiseth them up again. And therefore despair not, but hope ”

“ I am strong, yet by little and little I decay and consume.- My servants would fain preserve this my weary life, but at length the will of God must be done, and I shall perish miserably, as I deserve!- Rejoice, ye righteous, in the Lord!-Blessed are you whose hearts the Lord hath mollified!- Then, after some pause, he went on. ”

“ I tell you my case is properly mine own; no man was ever in the like condition, and therefore my slate is fearful!"-Then roaring out in the bitterness of his spirit, said, "It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God!" ”

“ I assure you, it is no small matter to deny Christ, and yet it is more ordinary than commonly men do conceive of; it is not a denial made before a Magistrate, as it is with me; for as oft as a Christian doth dissemble the known truth, as often as he approves of false worship, by presenting himself at it so often as he doth things unworthy of his calling, so often he denies Christ. ”

“ I earnestly desire to pray to God with my heart, yet I cannot!-I see my damnation, and I know my remedy is only in Christ, yet I cannot set myself to take hold of it.-Such are the punishments of the damned ”

“ He said, that he knew there were far worse pains than those he then suffered: "For the wicked shall rise to their judgment; but they shall not stand in judgment,". Psalm i. This I tremble to think of! yet I do desire nothing more, than that I might come to that place where I might be sure to feel the worst, and to be freed from fear of worse to come." Ay, but you are to consider, said one, that those opinions, for which you were accused before the Legate, were impious ”

“ To him thefe men re- paired with outcries against Spira, that he was the man that condemned the received rights of the Church, eluded the Ecclesiastical power, and scandalized the policy thereof; one of no mean rank being a man of some account and authority, and also learned in the Scriptures, eloquent in speech, and, in one word, a dangerous Lutheran, having also many disciples, and therefore a man not to be despised.
The Legate, upon hearing this, began to reflect on the terrible alteration that had lately happened in Germany ”