Nikolai Gogol

“ Can you lend me three hundred roubles ?
POSTMASTER. Of course ! I shall count it a very great happiness. Here it is take it, sir, please delighted to oblige you !
KHLESTAKOV. Thanks, very much. You see, I've a mortal hatred of stinting myself when I'm travelling. Why should I ? Ain't I right ?
POSTMASTER. Quite right, sir ! (Rises and draws himself up, with his hand on his sword.) I will not venture to disturb you further with my presence. . . . ”

“ I like generosity and hospitality all the more if I think they've not got a deep game to play. . . . And the Governor's daughter's not at all bad; while her mother, well . . . No, I don't know, but this sort of life just suits me to a T.
Scene III JUDGE (enters and stops still, soliloquising) . Oh Lord ! oh Lord ! grant me success ! How my knees knock together ! (Aloud, drawing himself up and steadying himself with his sword.) I have the honour to present myself: County Court Judge of this district and College Assessor Lyapkin-Tyapkin ! ”

“ POSTMASTER. Exactly so, sir ! (Aside.) Well, he's not at all haughty—he talks about anything !
KHLESTAKOV. Still you admit you can live happily in a small town?
POSTMASTER. Precisely so, sir !
KHLESTAKOV. What does one want? In my opinion, all you want is that people should respect you, and sincerely like you—isn't that so? ”

“ I swear, on my honour, not half of what they say is true. They cheat and rob the people themselves. The sergeant's wife lied when she told you I flogged her—it's false, yei Bohu, it's false. Why, she flogged herself !
KHLESTAKOV. The sergeant's wife may go to the devil—I'm not going to bother about her!
GOVERNOR. Don't believe 'em—don't believe em ! they're such liars . . . not a child will trust 'em even ! The whole town knows they're liars, and as for cheating, I'll go so far as to say the world has never bred such a gang ! ”

“ KHLESTAKOV. Too shy— eh ? Well, there's a certain something in my look which inspires that feeling ; at least I know that not a woman can resist it, can they ?
LUKA. Certainly not, sir !
KHLESTAKOV. Now, there's a very funny thing happened to me : I've spent all I possess in coming here. You couldn't lend me three hundred roubles, could you ? ”

“ DOBCHINSKI. I wouldn't trouble you, sir, only it was a pity, with all his capabilities. The boy really gives me the greatest hopes : he repeats whole poems by heart ; and if he finds a knife anywhere, he'll at once make a little toy droshky as neatly as a conjurer, sir. ”

“ I must send an account of it all to Tryapichkin at Petersburg : he writes articles— he'll scribble off a fine description of them. Hi, Osip! bring me some ink and paper! (Osip looks in at the door and says, " Directly, sir ! ") But I must be careful with Tryapichkin—this may strike him as a good joke—he'll sell his own father for a jest, [8] and he won't refuse a chance of making money. Besides, these officials are a good sort of people : their lending me money is a decided point in their favour. ”

“ And there's splendid 'orses here—they'd go like lightning !
KHLESTAKOV (writes) . No, I'd like to stay on here a little longer. Tomorrow will do.
OSIP. Tomorrow ! Lord love us ! We must go, Ivan Alexandrovich ! If they make a lot of you just now, it's all the better reason for starting at once. You see, they've been and mistook you for somebody else ; and the guv'nor will be angry at your loitering here. . . . Those 'orses would go famous, I'll undertake—they'd give you real good 'uns here. ”

“ There never was such a governor, sir ! It is impossible to describe the outrages he commits. We're so ruined by constant billeting that we may as well hang ourselves ! He catches us by the beard, and says: "Ah, you dog of a Tartar !" ”

“ Everything is in the greatest state of neglect : letters and packages are kept back . . . pray investigate the matter yourself. The Judge too, who was here just before me, does nothing but hunt hares, and keeps his dogs in the County Court buildings ”

“ There, I fancy Tryapichkin will die of laughing—
OSIP. I'll send it off, sir, by the man here. I'd better be packing up, so's not to lose time.
KHLESTAKOV. Very good, bring me a light, though !
OSIP (goes out, and speaks behind the scene) . Hi there, mate ! You take a letter to the post, and tell the postmaster he's to frank it— and order them to bring round their very best courier's troika for my master at once ; and say that the barin don't pay any fare— he travels at the Government's expense, tell 'em. They're to look alive, or the barin will be furious. Stop, the letter ain't ready yet. ”

“ LOCKSMITH'S WIFE. He has done it, though, the villain ; he's done it ! May God blast him in this world and the next ! And his aunt, if he has an aunt—may every sort of evil blight her—may his father, if he's alive, may he rot to death, the scoundrel, and may he choke for ever for his villainy ! They ought to have taken the tailor's drunken son, but the parents gave him a big present; so he sneaked off for the son of Panteleyeva the merchant's wife, but Panteleyeva privately sent her ladyship three pieces of linen, so he pitches on me. " What do you want a husband for? ”

“ Scene I (Enter cautiously, almost on tiptoe, AMMOS FYODOROVICH (the Judge) , ARTMI PHILIPPOVICH (the Charity Commissioner) , the POSTMASTER, LUKA LUKICH, DOBCHINSKI, and BOBCHINSKI, all in full gala uniform. The whole scene is played in an undertone.)
JUDGE (arranging them all in a semicircle) . For God's sake, gentlemen, form your circle quicker; let's have better order ! Good heavens he goes to Court, you know, and bullies the Council of State ! ”

“ There's a certain proprietor here, Dobchinski by name you have deigned to meet him and as soon as ever Dobchinski goes away anywhere, his wife and the Judge are having a tete-a-tete. I am ready to swear to it ... and the children, down to the youngest little girl, have a very strong likeness to the Judge—
KHLESTAKOV. Well, I declare ! ”

“ Why is there a whole squadron of us here ? We ought to approach him one by one, and do ... what is needful in a private interview, so that nobody knows anything about it. That's how things are done in a well-managed community. So, Ammos Fyodorovich, you ought to begin first.
JUDGE. Much better you ”

“ Some tradesmen want to come in, and the police-officer won't let 'em. They're waving papers about— they want to see you, I'm sure.
KHLESTAKOV (going to the window) . Well, what do you want, my friends ?
MERCHANTS' VOICES. We throw ourselves on your favour ! ”

“ Petersburg. The word ulitsa (street) is understood after their names, which mean Post Office and Peas Street respectively.↑ Barada—literally, "beard."↑ Nearly 39 yards.↑ A Russian does not celebrate his birthday, but his imyenini, or the feast of his patron saint, on whose day, and after whom, he was christened. Hence an orthodox Russian can only be called after one of the saints of the Greek Calendar.↑ To produce excessive thirst. ”