Percival Wilde

Name: Alias Santa Claus
Author: Percival Wilde

Alias Santa Claus (1927)

Summary

“Alias Santa Claus”, published in 1927, is a work by Percival Wilde. It explores elements such as Millman, Halligan and Santa Claus.

Quotes from Alias Santa Claus (Percival Wilde)

Percival Wilde, Alias Santa Claus (1927)

“ A gorgeous bicycle has a place of honor; it is hemmed in by a whole library of books, a pair of boxing gloves, two sleds, a regiment of the very latest mechanical wonders, enough musical instruments to equip a miniature band, and any number of games. There is everything you can think of—and more.
The toys are most expensive, and you wonder how many children are to be made happy by them—and then we tell you that they are all for the exclusive use of David Millman, Jr., who is seven years old, and who would greatly prefer permission [Pg 2] to put on rompers, and play on some not too clean floor. ”

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Source: Gutenberg

Percival Wilde, Alias Santa Claus (1927)

“ Millman
[Wincing.]
I’m not so busy as you think, Davy.
David
No?
Millman
No.
[He pauses.]
Sometimes, when a man’s lonely—when he misses somebody who’s gone terribly, terribly much—he tries to make himself busy. Do you understand that, Davy?
David
I think I do. You mean—Mummy.
Millman
I mean—Mummy.
[His voice lightens.]
But now that my little boy is growing older, I don’t expect to be nearly so busy any more.
David
[Ecstatically.]
Really, Daddy?
Millman
Honest and truly!
David
[Turning to Bill.]
Did you hear that, Santa Claus?
[Bill shuffles his feet and does not answer.] ”

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Source: Gutenberg

Percival Wilde, Alias Santa Claus (1927)

“ As our play begins the room is empty—but not for long. A face peers in through the window at the back, the sash is raised slowly and noiselessly, and a fourteen-year-old boy hoists himself across the sill. ”

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Source: Gutenberg

Percival Wilde, Alias Santa Claus (1927)

“ Slim
We come after yuh—
Bill
[Pushing Slim to one side easily.]
Nuttin’ to get excited about, kid; yer lady friend’s all right—see?
[He leads David back into the room; Slim thrusts the door shut, and locks it.]
She’s just daydreamin’—takin’ a little cat nap. It [Pg 24] won’t hoit her a bit—honest! She’ll feel fine when she wakes up.
David
What happened to Halligan?
Bill
He’s daydreamin’, too. De two of ’em are daydreamin’ togedder—nice an’ sociable-like—see? Dey’re dreamin’ about de little boidies singin’ in de tree tops. Ain’t dat pretty?
[Slim has come forward. Bill waves a hand.] ”

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Source: Gutenberg

Percival Wilde, Alias Santa Claus (1927)

“ David
“Swifter even than dreams, sturdy and strong, champing at their bits, sparks coming from their nostrils—”
Bill
[Nodding.]
De kid’s got de right dope, Slim.
[To David.]
Dey’re waitin’ fer us outside: balloon tires, an’ four-w’eel brakes, an’ sparks just w’ere yuh said. Come on.
David
[Going toward the window.]
They’re in a big hurry, aren’t they? They know we’re coming, Santa Claus. They can’t wait for us! I hear them shaking their sleigh bells! ”

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Source: Gutenberg

Percival Wilde, Alias Santa Claus (1927)

“ Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas.
Halligan
Thank you, sir—and the same to you.
Vicky
Merry Christmas—and thank you.
Millman
Tut—tut!
[He turns briskly toward the tree.]
Well, Davy, and how do you like your tree?
David
[Not glancing at it.]
Very much, Daddy.
Millman
It was nice of Santa to bring you so many presents.
David
Very nice, Daddy.
Millman
[Examining the cards attached to the gifts.] ”

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Source: Gutenberg

Percival Wilde, Alias Santa Claus (1927)

“ But it’s gonna get us away from here, Bill! We get outa de city—we go somew’eres in de Bronx—an’ den we give Millman a ring on de telephone—
David
Don’t telephone daddy; he’s always busy.
Slim
He won’t be busy dis time.
[He argues with Bill.]
David
You don’t know my daddy! My daddy is the busiest [Pg 40] man in the world! When he comes to see me, he says, “Exactly ten”—and that means exactly ten. When I want to see him I have to ask his secretary—and sometimes he can’t see me at all.
Bessie
Do yuh like dat? ”

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Source: Gutenberg

Percival Wilde, Alias Santa Claus (1927)

“ Aw, nuttin’!
David
Why don’t you tell me, Santa Claus?
Bill
[Bitterly.]
Dere’s nuttin’ de matter—on’y de kids ain’t gonna have a roof over deir heads to-night!
David
Because you didn’t get money?
Bill
Dat’s w’y.
David
And because you didn’t pay the rent?
Bill
Yuh said it, kid.
David
But why do you want a roof over their heads? Can’t we take them along with us?
Bill
W’at’s dat?
David
They can come to the North Pole too, can’t they? Of course it will be a little crowded in the sleigh, but [Pg 39] there’ll be room for all of us if we sit close. And we’ll have lots of fun!
Slim
[Meaningly.] ”

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Source: Gutenberg

Percival Wilde, Alias Santa Claus (1927)

“ Vicky
Do you really want me to?
David
Of course, Vicky.
Vicky
[Eating and smacking her lips.]
They’re good! Have one, Mr. Halligan?
Halligan
I don’t mind if I do.
[He eats a candy.]
David
[Watching with interest.]
What do they taste like?
Vicky
Chocolate—
[Taking another.]
Halligan
With strawberry cream inside—
[Taking another.]
Vicky
This one has a cherry.
Halligan
This has a walnut.
[Pg 21]
David
Santa Claus makes good candy, doesn’t he? Some day, when I’m older, he’ll make some that I can eat. I’d like that!
Vicky
Another, Mr. Halligan?
Halligan
I don’t mind if I do. ”

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Source: Gutenberg

Percival Wilde, Alias Santa Claus (1927)

“ Kid, youse a good sport—
[He bows grotesquely.]
—an’ I take me hat off to yuh! Yours truly, John W. Santa.
Slim
[Gasping.]
Youse gonna leave him here?
Bill
Yuh hoid me.
Slim
But we come here to—
Bill
[Interrupting.]
I changed my mind—see? A guy dat’s a he-man can [Pg 46] do dat little t’ing—an’ John W. Santa’s a he-man!
[He indicates David.]
I’m gonna leave him here—an’ me an’ de kids is gonna beat it—an’ youse is comin’ along, too; don’t yuh forget dat!
Slim
Bill! Yuh said yuh was hard-boiled! ”

[↩︎]

Source: Gutenberg

Percival Wilde, Alias Santa Claus (1927)

“ For the first time we see his face: the face of a half-starved lad with big eyes.]
Millman
Bear that in mind.
[Most unaccountably, most leisurely, he turns his back on Bill, and draws up a chair.]
Davy, how would you like to sit in my lap?
David
I’d love it, Daddy!
[Pg 49]
Millman
So would I.
[David rushes to him. Millman settles him comfortably, quite oblivious of the others.]
There. There. David, where were you going with this man?
David
Not “this man,” Daddy: it’s Santa Claus.
Millman
I meant Santa Claus.
David
I was just going to the North Pole. ”

[↩︎]

Source: Gutenberg

Percival Wilde, Alias Santa Claus (1927)

“ David
[Busy distributing gifts.]
They want them more than I do!
[He turns again to the children.]
Here: you can carry more than that!
[Annie’s arms are full already, but he piles toys on the heap.]
Put these on top. Take them along.
[To Pete.]
Do they let you ride a bicycle?
Pete
Sure t’ing!
David
Then take this one.
[To Bessie.]
Do they let you go coasting on a sled?
Bessie
All I want—ef I gotta sled. ”

[↩︎]

Source: Gutenberg

Percival Wilde, Alias Santa Claus (1927)

“ They are all badly dressed. Their clothes are torn and shabby; their stockings are full of holes; and they average about three quarters of a glove to every hand. But they are all extraordinarily happy, and not at all shy about showing it. ”

[↩︎]

Source: Gutenberg

Percival Wilde, Alias Santa Claus (1927)

“ Vicky
Shh!
[A clock strikes ten. David glances nervously at his watch. Halligan stiffens to attention. Vicky stands erect, expectantly. The door at the left opens, and Millman, a fine-looking man in his forties, enters briskly, snapping shut his watch as he crosses the threshold. He is all alertness and no waste motion—his time is precious—he never forgets that.]
Millman
Merry Christmas, Davy.
David
[Whose lips are trembling, and whose eyes never leave his father.]
Merry Christmas, Daddy.
[Pg 11]
Millman
[Turning to the others, and handing each an envelope.] ”

[↩︎]

Source: Gutenberg

Percival Wilde, Alias Santa Claus (1927)

“ THE ENCHANTED CHRISTMAS TREE
KINGS IN NOMANIA
CRITICISM:
THE CRAFTSMANSHIP OF THE ONE-ACT PLAY
Alias Santa Claus
A Play for Children
by
Percival Wilde
Author of
“Kings in Nomania,”
“The Enchanted Christmas Tree,” etc.
D. Appleton and Company
New York :: 1927 :: London
COPYRIGHT, 1927, BY
D. APPLETON AND COMPANY
All Rights Reserved
This play is fully protected in all countries by the copyright law, all requirements of which have been complied with. ”

Percival Wilde

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