Robert Hugh Benson

“ All this was of course but dimly felt in the direct perceptions of Anthony; but Father Robert had said enough to open something of the vision, and he himself had sufficient apprehension to make him feel that the old meagre life was passing away, and a new life of unfathomed possibilities beginning. As he rode the wilderness appeared to rejoice and blossom like the rose, as the spring of nature and grace stirred about and within him; and only an hour or two’s ride away lay the very hills and streams of the Promised Land. ”

“ Philosophers tell us that the value of existence lies not in the objects perceived, but in the powers of perception. The tragedy of a child over a broken doll is not less poignant than the anguish of a worshipper over a broken idol, or of a king over a ruined realm. Thus the conflict of Isabel during those past autumn and winter months was no less august than the pain of the priest on the rack, or the struggle of his innocent betrayer to rescue him, or the misery of Lady Maxwell over the sorrows that came to her in such different ways through her two sons. ”

“ Anthony felt like a horse being shown off by a skilful dealer, but he was more at his ease too after his blush.
“Extend your mercy, madam,” he said, “and bid Mistress Corbet hold her tongue and spare my shame.”
“Silence, sir!” said the Queen. “Go on, Minnie; what else can he do?”
“Ah! your Grace, he can hawk. Oh! you should see his peregrine;—named after your Majesty. That shows his loyal heart.”
“I am not sure of the compliment,” said the Queen; “hawks are fierce creatures.”
“It was not for her fierceness,” put in Anthony, “that I named her after your Grace.” ”

“ But to both of them the sense of home-coming was stronger than all else—that strange passion for a particular set of inanimate things—or, at the most, for an association of ideas—that has no parallel in human emotions; and as they rode up the darkening valley and the lights of the high windows of the Hall began to show over the trees on their right, Anthony forgot his treason and Isabel her conflicts, and both felt a lump rise in the throat, and their hearts begin to beat quicker with a strange pleasurable pulse, and to Isabel’s eyes at least there rose up great tears of happiness and content ”

“ And so the evening came to an end; and Isabel said good-night, and went downstairs with Hubert, and out into the garden again.
“I am sorry that Sir Nicholas has been so troubled,” she said to Hubert, as they turned the corner of the house together. “Why cannot we leave one another alone, and each worship God as we think fit?”
Hubert smiled in the darkness to himself.
“I am afraid Queen Mary did not think it could be done, either,” he said. “But then, Mistress Isabel,” he went on, “I am glad that you feel that religion should not divide people.” ”

“ Anthony watched them eagerly as they made their way from all directions to where the Pelican lay; for it was close on noon. Then from far away came the boom of the Tower guns, and then the nearer crash of those that guarded the dockyard; and last the deafening roar of the Pelican broadside; and then the smoke rose and drifted in a heavy veil in the keen frosty air over the cheering crowds. When it lifted again, there was the flash of gold and colour from the Greenwich road, and the high braying of the trumpets pierced the roaring welcome of the people. ”

“ So now she sat with terror darkening over her, glancing now and again at that white expectant face, and herself listening for the first far-away rumour of the dreadful interruption that she now knew must come.
“The Goodness of God,” read the old nun, “is the highest prayer, and it cometh down to the lowest part of our need. It quickeneth our soul and bringeth it on life, and maketh it for to waxen in grace and virtue. It is nearest in nature; and readiest in grace: for it is the same grace that the soul seeketh, and ever shall seek till we know verily that He hath us all in Himself enclosed. ”

“ So little by little in place of the shadowy individualism that was all that he knew of religion, there rose before him the vision of a living church, who came forth terrible as an army with banners, surrounded by all the loyalty that nationalism could give her, with the Queen herself as her guardian, and great princes and prelates as her supporters, while at the wheels of her splendid car walked her hot-blooded chivalrous sons, who served her and spread her glories by land and sea, not perhaps chiefly for the sake of her spiritual claims, but because she was bone of their bone ”

“ If God be on our side, who can be against us?”
There were a few slow sentences, in a deep resonant voice, uttering each syllable deliberately like the explosion of a far-off gun, and in a minute or two he was in the thick of Calvin’s smoky gospel. Doctrine, voice, and man were alike terrible and overpowering.
There lay the great scheme in a few minutes, seen by Isabel as though through the door of hell, illumined by the glare of the eternal embers. The huge merciless Will of God stood there before her, disclosed in all its awfulness, armed with thunders, moving on mighty wheels. ”

“ Amy had her arms round her mother’s neck, and was being rocked to and fro; and every time she rocked she said ‘Oh, mother.’”
“But then,” said Isabel, after a moment’s silence, “she was only a child.”
“‘Except ye become like little children—’” quoted Mistress Margaret softly—“you see, my Isabel, we are nothing more than children with God and His Blessed Mother. To say ‘Hail Mary, Hail Mary,’ is the best way of telling her how much we love her. And then this string of beads is like Our Lady’s girdle, and her children love to finger it, and whisper to her. ”

“ Then the great facts that practically all men acknowledge, and upon which so few act, were brought into play. Hell, Judgment and Death in turn began to work upon the lad’s soul—these monstrous elemental Truths that underlie all things. As Father Robert’s deep vibrating voice spoke, it appeared to Anthony as if the room, the walls, the house, the world, all shrank to filmy nothingness before the appalling realities of these things. ”

“ Anthony drew a breath, and swallowed in his throat.
“Your Grace,” he said, and lifted his eyes for a moment, and dropped them again. But in the glimpse every detail stamped itself clear on his imagination. There she sat in vivid scarlet and cloth of gold, radiating light; with high puffed sleeves; an immense ruff fringed with lace. The narrow eyes were fixed on him, and as he now waited again, he knew that they were running up and down his figure, his dark splashed hose and his tumbled doublet and ruff.
“You come strangely dressed.” ”

“ The sublime conceit of a boy of fifteen made him of course think that she had detected in him a nobility that others overlooked, and so Anthony began a gorgeous course of day-dreaming, in which he moved as a kind of king, worshipped and reverenced by this splendid creature, who after a disillusionment from the empty vanities of a Court life and a Queen’s favour, found at last the lord of her heart in a simple manly young countryman. These dreams, however, he had the grace and modesty to keep wholly to himself. ”

“ Anthony stood still a moment, his heart beating a little. What was this strange errand? and Isabel! what had she to do with this house buried away in the courts of the great city? As he waited he heard a door close somewhere behind him, and the shuffling footsteps had ceased. He touched the hilt of his knife once again to give himself courage; and then walked slowly across and rapped on the door. Instantly a voice full of trembling expectancy, cried to him to come in; he turned the handle and stepped into the fire-lit room. ”

“ There was a chorus of anger from the gentlemen, and one of them called up something that Anthony could not hear. Campion raised his eyebrows.
“Well, my lord,” he cried aloud, and his voice instantly silenced again the noisy buzz of talk, “I am a Catholic man and a priest: in that faith have I lived, and in that faith do I intend to die. If you esteem my religion treason, then am I guilty; as for other treason, I never committed any, God is my judge. But you have now what you desire. ”

“ The knights came first, in steel armour with raised vizors, the horses too in armour, moving sedately with a splendid clash of steel, and twinkling fiercely in the sunshine; and then, after them (and Anthony drew his breath swiftly) came a blaze of colour and jewels as the great lords in their cloaks and feathered caps, metal-clasped and gemmed, came on their splendid long-maned horses; the crowd yelled and cheered, and great names were tossed to and fro, as the owners passed on, each talking to his fellow as if unconscious of the tumult and even of the presence of these shouting thousands. ”

“ Poor, I should suppose, by the time her Grace left him; for he will not see the worth of a shoelace again of all that he expended on her.”
“You see,” remarked Mr. Buxton to Isabel, “how fortunate we are in having such a friend of her Grace’s with us. We hear all the cream of the news, even though it be a trifle sour sometimes.”
“A lover of her Grace,” said Mary, “loves the truth about her, however bitter. But then I have no secret passages where I may hide from my sovereign!”
“The cream can scarce be but sour,” said Anthony, “near her Grace: there is so much thunder in the air.” ”

“ And so Isabel lay back and pondered, with a touch of happy impatience at the workings of her own soul; for she dared not act without the final touch of conviction. Mistress Margaret had taught her that the swiftest flight of the soul was when there was least movement, when the soul knew how to throw itself with that supreme effort of cessation into the Hands of God, that He might bear it along: when, after informing the intellect and seeking by prayer for God’s bounty, the humble client of Heaven waited with uplifted eyes and ready heart until God should answer. ”

“ Anthony had no eyes but for Campion who limped in front, supported on either side by a warder. He could scarcely believe at first that this was the same priest who had ridden so bravely down Cheapside. Now he was bent, and walked like an old broken man; his face was deathly pale, with shadows and lines about his eyes, and his head trembled a little. There were one or two exclamations of pity, for all knew what had caused the change; and Anthony heard an undertone moan of sorrow and anger from some one in a seat behind him. ”

“ He had sprung to his feet in a trembling excitement as the Queen had sprung to hers. The mere ring of that furious royal voice, even without the sight of her pale wrathful face and blazing eyes that Walsingham looked upon as he backed out from the presence, was enough to make this lad’s whole frame shiver. Mary apparently was accustomed to this; for she looked up at Anthony, laughing silently, and shrugged her shoulders.
Then they heard the Queen’s silk draperies rustle and her pearls chink together as she sank down again and took up her lute and struck the strings. ”

“ And now, dearest Isabel, I have such good news to give you. I have turned Protestant; and there is no reason why we should not be married as soon as I return. I know this will make you happy to think that our religions are no longer different. I have thought of this so long; but would not tell you before for fear of disappointing you. Sir Francis Drake’s religion seems to me the best; it is the religion of all the ‘sea-dogs’ as they name us; and of the Queen’s Grace, and it will be soon of all England; and more than all it is the religion of my dearest mistress and love. ”

“ Of course Isabel could not, though she tried again and again. Her definitions were as barren as any others.
“I see,” said Mary Corbet one day, sitting up straight and looking at Isabel. “It is not your religion but you; your religion is as dull as all the rest. But your soul is sweet, my dear, and the wilderness blossoms where you set your feet. There is nothing to blush about. It’s no credit to you, but to God.” ”

“ As Mr. Buxton here used to tell me, the duty to Cæsar is as real as the duty to God. A man is bound to both; for each has its proper bounds. When either oversteps them it must be resisted. When Elizabeth bids me deny my faith, I tell her I would sooner die. When a priest bids me deny my country, I tell him I would sooner be damned.”
Mary clapped her hands.
“I like to hear a man talk like that,” she cried. “But what of the Holy Father and his excommunication of her Grace?”
Anthony looked up at her sharply, and then smiled; Isabel watched him with a troubled face. ”

“ A groom took his horse off to the stable, and Anthony himself followed the servant to a little oak-parlour looking on to a lawn with a yew hedge and a dial. He felt as one moving in a dream, bewildered by the rush of interviews, and oppressed by the awful burden that he bore at his heart. Nothing any longer seemed strange; and he scarcely gave a thought to what it meant when he heard the sound of trumpets in the court, as the Queen left the Hall. ”

“ I have a little estate in France, Master Norris, where I go sometimes; and there are folk in their wooden shoes, talking a different human tongue to me, but, thank God! the same divine one—of contrition and adoration and prayer. There we have the same mass, the same priesthood, the same blessed sacrament and the same Faith, as in my own little oratory at Stanfield. Go to Spain, Africa, Rome, India; wherever Christ is preached; there is the Church as it is here—the City of Peace. And as for you and your Church! with whom do you hold communion?”
This stung Anthony, and he answered impulsively. ”

“ Streams of excited people were pouring across the bridge into the city; Campion’s name was on every tongue; and Anthony, as he passed under the high gate, noticed a man point up at the grim spiked heads above it, and laugh to his companion. There seemed little doubt, from the unanimity of those whom he questioned, that the rumour was true; and some even said that the Jesuit was actually passing down Cheapside on his way to the Tower. When at last Anthony came to the thoroughfare the crowd was as dense as for a royal progress. ”