Sarah Stickney Ellis

“ As the first and surest means of promoting individual, as well as social happiness, I would propose the cultivation of a spirit of love. The more we love, the less our thoughts and interests are centred in self; and consequently the less we suffer from all those little personal slights, vexations, and disappointments, which so often imbitter the cup of life. The more we love, also, the more we forgive; and to whom much is forgiven, the same loveth much; so that nothing is more true, than that love begets love in return. ”

“ If in scenes like these a mother's influence is the last preserving link, how sweetly does it operate when life is new, and experience yet unsullied by any deep or lasting stains! How sweetly does it operate, like a kind of second conscience, more tender, more forgiving, yet still more appealing than the first, in all those minor perplexities and trials of human life, where judgment, bribed by inclination, would persuade the unpractised traveller, that the most flowery path must surely be the best! ”

“ But there is both hope and trust in the mother's heart at that glad moment when she folds her infant to her bosom; for though she may herself have failed in judgment and in will ten thousand times, and fallen short in acts of duty almost beyond the hope of pardon, she looks into the guileless countenance of her child, and while the tears of true repentance fall upon its brow, she dedicates its young life, with all its growing energies, to a holier and more faithful service than she, with her weakness and waywardness, has been able to pursue. ”

“ How beautiful, then, in its adaptation to the situation in which she is placed, and the duties she has to perform, is that instinct of maternal love, which, from its intensity and depth, its all-pervading and inextinguishable vitality, so lives and breathes through every act, thought, word, and look of the fond mother, that sooner would her infant doubt its own existence, than question that of her untiring love! ”

“ Yes, it is a great and glorious thought, that the being whose young life is now so tenderly bound up with hers, that not a chord of one can thrill with the minutest touch of feeling, but an answering tone is echoed by the other; that this frail and helpless being, so delicate, so pure, and so beautiful to her, may one day be swelling the ranks of the church-militant on earth, and may eventually join the anthems of triumphant joy which celebrate the admission of the saints to their eternal rest in heaven. ”

“ More especially is this the case, when childhood with its fresh uncalculating energies becomes the subject of consideration—when we sit down to make cool comments upon its outbursts of ungoverned feeling, and its thrilling voice of joy which echoes upon the weary ear like the summer song of birds, startling the tired spirit into hope that some new spring of gladness has been found, when it is but nature at her joyous revelry, making pastime of common and familiar things, and exulting in the fulness of her own delight. ”

“ How much better would it be, to make the season of sickness a time for drawing the bonds of family affection closer, for directing every thought and every expression of kindness with twofold tenderness to the alleviation of suffering—and if not of bodily suffering, to that of the mind, so as to convince the invalid that illness is scarcely an affliction when it is the means of calling forth so vast an amount of sympathy and love. ”

“ It is in the beginning and the end of evil, that this power, though often unseen, and purely spiritual, operates with a potency peculiarly its own—in the beginning, to win us back by that simple and habitual reference of a child to what would have been its mother's choice; and in the end, by that last lingering of expiring hope—that hovering, as it were, around our pillow, of some kind angel, reminding us at once of the tenderness of earthly love, and of the efficacy of that which is divine. ”

“ Did not the habit of looking for immediate and obvious results, withdraw our attention from the good of mankind in general, and confine it too much to little points, in which our self-interest is concerned, we should more constantly bear in mind, that it is not the extent of genius or talent in a few individuals which makes a nation powerful, great, or prosperous; but rather the industrious, rational, and enlightened character of the population at large. It is, in fact, the people upon whom depends a nation's wealth, its resources, its stability, and its general influence. ”

“ The scenery through which they pass is the same in every respect, except that the atmosphere is changed. A balmy air breathes over them, laden with the odors of fresh opening flowers—sunshine smiles upon every object—and, as they pass along, vexations, disappointments, and drawbacks to enjoyment, are all forgotten. What if the friend who had promised to accompany them be left behind? They feel no want of him. What if their viands are the homeliest or the least approved? Their appetites, sharpened beyond their usual vigor, are equal to the provision made for them, whatever that may be. ”

“ Childhood is full of activity, and rich in resources and therefore we make a great mistake when we lavish too much of the means of enjoyment upon young children. It is a little later in life that we begin to want the means of being happy; that the pulse of natural joy throbs languidly; and that we seek excitement, to warm us into life and feeling. Nor is it in childhood alone that we see the benefit of cheerfulness, for with plenty of resources, and a cheerful disposition, persons more advanced in life are placed almost beyond the reach of disappointment. ”

“ It must do good; for there is no sensation approaching nearly to that which the scheme of man's salvation is calculated to inspire in the breast of the true believer, as that of intense and fervent gratitude; and, blessed be God, there is no sensation so nearly allied to perfect happiness. Here then is benevolence—here is mercy—here is cause for gratitude on earth and praise in heaven! that the very feeling by which the Christian is most closely bound to the service of his Maker, is that which, throughout all human nature, is the most intimately associated with the purest enjoyment. ”

“ In the common course of human affairs families are separated, and parents removed by death; but so long as brothers and sisters live, they might, if bound by true affection, remain to be a blessing and a help to each other; and should their parents be spared to them beyond the usual period of family union, what richer harvest could they reap, what more entire fulfilment of their hopes, what reward more precious for "all their sorrows, all their cares," than to see their children happy in them, and in each other? ”

“ True generosity of feeling is the noblest characteristic by which any human being can be distinguished. We all acknowledge this, but do we all cherish the feeling by every means within our power? If, as regards ourselves, we feel acquitted of all mean, selfish or sinister motives in what we say or do, let us be the more careful that nothing in our conversation or conduct shall be found to damp the free spirit of generosity in the young characters around us. Let us endeavor to rise above those little envyings and jealousies, which so often beset with thorns the path of woman ”

“ I have sometimes thought that those simple sunny spots of human life I have here alluded to, were like the green knolls in a lovely landscape, left out by the painter as insignificant in comparison with the rocky heights, the falling torrents, and the precipitous ravines; yet chosen by the husbandman, and cultivated with peculiar care, because they alone are capable of yielding the harvest upon which his happiness depends. ”

“ It is that little sigh that we have just alluded to, that appealing look, perhaps through the mist of tears, or, more than all, that sweet spirit of resignation with which the child throws up its game not yet played out, and turns to hang upon the neck of its nurse, which melts the mother's firmness, and makes her determine that, for once at least, its unresisting compliance shall be rewarded by a deviation from the accustomed rule. ”

“ I am the more disposed to think there is this element in the human character, because I know individuals, kind and benevolent in the general tone of their feelings, who, from never having been taught to pity the sufferings of the animal creation, inflict the most wanton cruelty simply as an amusement.
It becomes, then, an important part of a mother's duty, to teach her children the loveliness, as well as the utility of pity; for without pity, there would be little done in the world toward relieving individual distress. Pity is the forerunner of help ”

“ Still there are seasons in the past experience of all who are capable of feeling, when emotions of gratitude have passed over the soul like a fresh torrent over the parched and arid soil, leaving beauty and fertility in its track. To find in the midst of trouble, that some one, of whose kindness we had never dreamed, has been making interest in our favor ”

“ But, after all, the duty of education is one which can not be deputed to another in very early life, unless the mother entirely absents herself, or becomes a mere non-entity in the nursery. The process of education is going on every day, because the infant mind is every day receiving impressions, learning to compare, and gradually maturing in every way; and as a child naturally loves its mother best, it will receive from her the deepest and most lasting of those impressions which are to give a bias to its character, and perhaps eventually determine its destiny for this world and the next. ”

“ Were I writing a book for the benefit of men instead of women, I might here enlarge upon the domestic calamities to which many have subjected themselves in consequence of making this kind of choice. I must confess that to me the spectacle of a silly mother, surrounded by a family of children whom she has neither the skill to influence, nor the dignity to control, has always presented one of the most melancholy aspects of human life. ”

“ If there be real genius, it will be sure to develop itself in due time, under reasonable treatment; and long before the child who possesses extraordinary talent arrives at the proper age for turning such talents to the best account, he will have felt abundant need of clear perceptions, sound judgment, and all which is usually comprehended under the name of common sense. In order to pass with safety along the stream of life, under that lofty sail which genius delights to spread, he will have abundant need of all the ballast which a strictly rational education can supply. ”

“ It is to mothers then, alone, that we can look for the improvement so much needed here; ad with all woman's taste and tact, her quickness of feeling, play of fancy, minuteness of observation, and facility of adaptation to circumstances; with all a mother's love in addition to these, she wants only a higher sense of a mother's duty to convince her that the joyous moments—the holy days of mirth which her children are permitted to enjoy, are those which she, above all other human beings, has the privilege of sharing, and, at the same time, of converting into lasting good. ”

“ But no sooner do children begin to think, to compare, and to judge for themselves—and they are sometimes better judges than we suppose—no sooner do they begin to form an estimate of their mother's mind, of her sense or her want of sense, than these ideas mix themselves with that of her affection, and her influence is then submitted to a new, an infinitely more trying test.
Children seldom love long those whom they are unable to respect, and thus a fond and foolish mother invariably brings upon herself the neglect, and often the contempt of her family. ”

“ It seems to me one of the peculiarities of English character not to know how to manage enjoyment; while our neighbors on the continent sometimes manage it a little too much. Those elaborate or costly presents by which they are so fond of creating a beautiful surprise, those birthday scenes got up with so much machinery of contrivance, and those periodical displays of generosity and affection, though admirably adapted to figure in a book, have a little too much make-believe about them, to be exactly suited to the reality of English habits. ”

“ In order to be duly appreciated, beauty should some lime or other have burst, as it were, upon the eye and the mind of the child at once. It should have been constrained to admire it, and to admire it heartily; for it is important to our happiness that we should be able to admire with warmth, and even with enthusiasm; and pitiable indeed is that being, who, after spending a life in learning what ought to be admired, finds at last that the power is wanting. With regard to imagination, it is often spoken of as dangerous faculty, and treated as if given for man's misery, rather than his good ”

“ It is with joy, then, that a new being is ushered into the world, to share its portion among the many, in the mingled lot of human weal and wo—to enter upon a career in which it is but reasonable to indulge the hope of filling an honored place on the great theatre of life, of contributing its share to the sum of human happiness, and of en joying in its turn the full exercise of all those faculties of mind and body with which so much happiness is connected. ”