Sir Frank Lockwood

“ Pickwick.
“Fact, my dear sir, fact. Five-and-forty green parasols at seven and sixpence a-piece. All women like finery—extraordinary the effect of those parasols. Secured all their husbands, and half their brothers—beat stockings, and flannel, and all that sort of thing hollow. My idea, my dear sir, entirely. Hail, rain, or sunshine, you can’t walk half-a-dozen yards up the street without encountering half-a-dozen green parasols.” ”

“ Ladies and gentlemen,—We have spent, I am sure you will all think, a most enjoyable, as well as a most instructive evening, thanks to the vivid picture of the great novelist of our generation put before us by my friend Mr. Lockwood, who has pointed out with force and effect the serious obligation we are under for many reforms which exist in our day through the influence, sometimes serious, sometimes comic, which the great Charles Dickens gave to the world. ”

“ I won’t discuss to-night the advisability or non-advisability of dividing the profession of the law into two parts, but I do say that any system which prevents litigants having the fullest personal communication with those they have paid to represent them is an anomaly and an absurdity. ”

“ At that moment the sound was repeated, and one of the glass doors slowly opening disclosed a pale and emaciated figure in soiled and worn apparel standing erect in the press. The figure was tall and thin, and the countenance expressive of care and anxiety; but there was something in the hue of the skin, and gaunt and unearthly appearance of the whole form, which no being of this world was ever seen to wear. ‘Who are you?’ said the new tenant, turning very pale, poising the poker in his hand, however, and taking a very decent aim at the countenance of the figure. ”

“ Amidst the cheers of the assembled throng, the band, and the constables, and the committee men, and the voters, and the horsemen, and the carriages took their places—each of the two-horse vehicles being closely packed with as many gentlemen as could manage to stand upright in it; and that assigned to Mr. Perker containing Mr. Pickwick, Mr. Tupman, Mr. Snodgrass, and about half-a-dozen of the committee beside.
There was a moment of awful suspense as the procession waited for the Honourable Samuel Slumkey to step into his carriage. Suddenly the crowd set up a great cheering. ”

“ Jackson?” said Fogg.
“Perhaps you would like to call us swindlers, sir,” said Dodson. “Pray do, sir, if you feel disposed; now pray do, sir.”
p. 61“I do,” said Mr. Pickwick. “You are swindlers.”
“Very good,” said Dodson. “You can hear down there, I hope, Mr. Wicks?”
“Oh, yes, sir,” said Wicks.
“You had better come up a step or two higher if you can’t,” added Mr. Fogg. “Go on, sir; do go on. You had better call us thieves, sir; or perhaps you would like to assault one of us. Pray do it, sir, if you would; we will not make the slightest resistance. Pray do it, sir.” ”

“ Serjeant Buzfuz paused in this place to see whether the jury smiled at his joke; but as nobody took it but the greengrocer, whose sensitiveness on the subject was very probably occasioned by his having subjected a chaise cart to the process in question on that identical morning, the learned Serjeant considered it advisable to undergo a slight relapse into the dismals before he concluded.
“But enough of this, gentlemen,” said Mr. Serjeant Buzfuz, “it is difficult to smile with an aching heart; it is ill jesting when our deepest sympathies are awakened. ”

“ Mr. Dickens also told me of his father’s knowledge of the legal profession, and of the distinguished members of it. Though not himself, he writes, of the legal profession, my father was very fond of lawyers. He numbered among his intimate friends Lord Denman, Lord Campbell, Mr. Justice Talfourd, Chief Justice Crockford; in fact, it is difficult to name any eminent lawyer who could not claim acquaintance, at any rate, with our great author. ”

“ Why, gentlemen, who does trouble himself about a warming-pan? When was the peace of mind of man or woman broken or disturbed by a warming-pan, which is in itself a harmless, a useful, and I will add, gentlemen, a comfortable article of domestic furniture? ”

“ There is the articled clerk, who has paid a premium, and is an attorney in perspective, who runs a tailor’s bill, receives invitations to parties, knows a family in Gower Street, and another in Tavistock Square; who goes out of town every Long Vacation to see his father, who keeps live horses innumerable; and who is, in short, the very aristocrat of clerks. ”

“ Ladies and gentlemen, I do not know how it is, but I have always associated Mr. Prosee with the Equity Bar. It may be that his name suggests it.
Well, I come now to the counsel which is better known to you, namely Serjeant Snubbin.
“We’ve done everything that’s necessary,” said Mr. Perker. “I have retained Serjeant Snubbin.”
“Is he a good man?” inquired Mr. Pickwick.
“Good man!” replied Perker. “Bless p. 72your heart and soul, my dear sir, Serjeant Snubbin is at the very top of his profession. Gets treble the business of any man in court—engaged in every case. ”

“ Coming down to a later time, and a very different day, what do you know of the gradual sinking beneath consumption, or the quick wasting of fever—the grand results of ‘life’ and dissipation—which men have undergone in these same rooms? How many vain pleaders for mercy, do you think, have turned away heart-sick from the lawyer’s office, to find a resting-place in the Thames, or a refuge in the gaol? They are no ordinary houses, those. ”

“ Bardell p. 103were right, it was perfectly clear that Mr. Pickwick was wrong; and if they thought the evidence of Mrs. Cluppins worthy of credence they would believe it, and, if they didn’t, why they wouldn’t. If they were satisfied that a breach of promise of marriage had been committed, they would find for the plaintiff, with such damages as they thought proper; and if, on the other hand, it appeared to them that no promise of marriage had ever been given, they would find for the defendant, with no damages at all. ”

“ Phunky had ever had. No, Serjeant Snubbin was over-matched throughout by Serjeant Buzfuz, and Mr. Phunky was no match even for the scheming junior on the other side, and Perker was no match for Dodson and Fogg. The law, as we are told in one of George Eliot’s books, is a kind of cock-fight, in which it is the business of injured honesty to get a game bird with the p. 87best pluck and the strongest spurs; and I venture to think that the combined pluck of Buzfuz and Skimpin by far outweighed any of that commodity possessed by Snubbin and Phunky. No wonder Mr. Pickwick lost his case ”

“ So, ladies and gentlemen, in conclusion, let me point out to you how all these types and instances of lawyers and lawyer life have received fair and impartial consideration from Charles Dickens, for which I, at any rate, am grateful. The public, however, to my mind, owe a deeper debt of gratitude to the p. 104man who, by his wit, his courage, and his industry, has brought about reforms in our legal administration for which all litigants and honourable practitioners should alike be grateful. ”

“ Pickwick was a person of determination, and he did see Serjeant Snubbin, and he delivered to that learned gentleman a short address that was well worthy of his attention, as it is of every member of the Bar, including your very humble servant.
“Gentlemen of your profession, sir,” continued Mr. Pickwick, “see the worst p. 74side of human nature. All its disputes, all its ill-will and bad blood, rise up before you. ”

“ From Gray’s Inn in the north to the Temple in the south, from New Inn and Clement’s Inn in the west to Barnard’s Inn in the east. p. 25I once lived myself in Clement’s Inn, and heard the chimes go, too; and I remember one day I sat in my little room very near the sky (I do not know why it is that poverty always gets as near the sky as possible; but I should think it is because the general idea is that there is more sympathy in heaven than elsewhere) , and as I sat there a knock came at the door, and the head of the porter of Clement’s Inn presented itself to me. ”

“ But I must not delay longer over where the lawyers live. The lawyers of Dickens furnish me with three types of the practising solicitor or attorney, p. 43each admirable in its way. First, Mr. Perker, whose aid Mr. Wardle seeks to release Miss Rachel Wardle from that scoundrel Jingle. He is described as a little high-dried man, with a dark squeezed-up face, and small restless black eyes, that kept winking and twinkling on each side of his little inquisitive nose, as if they were playing a perpetual game of peep-bo with that feature. ”

“ Mr. Pell had the honour of being the legal adviser of Mr. Weller, Senior. The latter gentleman always stoutly maintained that if Mr. Pickwick had had the services of Mr. Pell, and had established an alibi, p. 63the great case of Bardell against Pickwick would have been decided otherwise. Mr. Pell practised in the Insolvency Court. He “was a fat, flabby, pale man, in a surtout which looked green one moment, and brown the next, with a velvet collar of the same chameleon tints. ”

“ And he told me, I remember, to take warning by the Marshalsea, and to observe that if a man had twenty pounds a year and spent nineteen pounds nineteen shillings and sixpence, he would be happy, but that a shilling spent the other way would make him wretched. ”

“ My client’s hopes and prospects are ruined, and it is no figure of speech to say that her occupation is gone indeed. The bill is p. 101down—but there is no tenant. Eligible single gentlemen pass and repass—but there is no invitation for them to inquire within or without. All is gloom and silence in the house; even the voice of the child is hushed—his infant sports are disregarded when his mother weeps ”

“ There was only us two, but everything as splendid as if twenty people had been expected—the great seal on a dumb-waiter at his right, and a man in a bag-wig and p. 65suit of armour guarding the mace with a drawn sword and silk stockings—which is perpetually done, gentlemen, night and day; when he said, ‘Pell,’ he said, ‘no false delicacy, Pell. You’re a man of talent; you can get anybody through the Insolvent Court, Pell ”

“ Perker.
“Everything, my dear sir,” was the little man’s reply.
“Nothing has been omitted, I hope?” said the Honourable Samuel Slumkey.
“Nothing has been left undone, my dear sir—nothing whatever. There are p. 50twenty washed men at the street door for you to shake hands with; and six children in arms that you’re to pat on the head, and inquire the age of; be particular about the children, my dear sir,—it has always a great effect, that sort of thing.” ”

“ I’ll try a change of air directly.’ In fact, he began to vanish as he spoke—his legs, indeed, had quite disappeared. ‘And if, sir,’ said the tenant, calling after him, ‘if you would have the goodness to suggest to the other ladies and gentlemen who are now engaged in haunting old empty houses, that they might be much more comfortable elsewhere, you will confer a very great benefit on society.’ ‘I will,’ replied the ghost; ‘we must be dull fellows, very dull fellows indeed ”

“ Pickwick.
“See Serjeant Snubbin, my dear sir!” rejoined Perker, in utter amazement. “Pooh, pooh! my dear sir, impossible! See Serjeant Snubbin! Bless you, my dear sir, such a thing was never heard of without a consultation fee being previously paid, and a consultation fixed. It couldn’t be done, my dear sir—it couldn’t be done!”
Thus was Mr. Pickwick brought face to face with the difficulty of seeing his own counsel. He could not understand why, having retained p. 73the services of a professional man and paid for them, there should exist any impediment to prevent access to him. ”

“ Pell, in a low and serious tone. “You have reminded me, sir, that this conversation was private—private and confidential, gentlemen. Gentlemen, I am a professional man. It may be that I am a good deal looked up to in my profession—it may be that I am not. Most people know. I say nothing. Observations have already been made in this room injurious to the reputation of my noble friend. You will excuse me, gentlemen ”

“ Phunky, Serjeant Snubbin,” replied the attorney.
“Phunky, Phunky,” said the Serjeant, “I never heard the name before. He must be a very young man.”
“Yes, he is a very young man,” replied the attorney. “He was only called the other day. Let me see—he has not been at the Bar eight years yet.”
“Ah, I thought not,” said the Serjeant, in that sort of pitying tone in which ordinary folks would speak of a very helpless little child. “Mr. Mallard, send round to Mr.—Mr.—”
p. 76“Phunky’s—Holborn Court, Gray’s Inn,” interposed Perker. (Holborn Court, by-the-bye, is South Square now.) ”

“ Pickwick, hoping to start a subject which all the company could take a part in discussing—“I have been to-night in a place which you all know very well, doubtless, but which I have not been in for some years, and know very little of; I mean p. 30Gray’s Inn, gentlemen. Curious little nooks in a great place, like London, these old Inns are.”
“By Jove!” said the chairman, whispering across the table to Mr. Pickwick, “you have hit upon something that one of us, at least, would talk upon for ever. You’ll draw old Jack Bamber out ”

“ And now, gentlemen, but one word more. Two letters have passed between these parties, letters which are admitted to be in the handwriting of the defendant, and which speak volumes indeed. These letters, too, bespeak the character of the man. They are not open, fervent, eloquent epistles, breathing nothing but the language p. ”

“ At the age of fifteen we find Dickens a bright, clever-looking youth in the office of Mr. Edward Blackmore, attorney-at-law in Gray’s Inn, earning at first 13s. 6d. a week, afterwards advanced to 15s. Eighteen months’ experience of this sort enabled him in the pages of Pickwick thus to describe lawyers’ clerks:—
There are several grades of lawyers’ p. ”