Sydney Grundy

“ I am more ill than I seem—more ill than anybody knows. I can’t help thinking of death, for every day it seems to draw nearer and nearer. I can feel it coming—slowly, mysteriously, weirdly—gathering about me—wrapping me round and round. ”

“ Love has no place in the British pharmacopæa. (goes down R. of table, Beatrice L. of it. She shows him some photographic views)
[Pg 15]
Phil. Yet it exists. I have even known cases of love at sight.
Nor. Love at sight! Now you’re going too far for anything. I can imagine an enthusiast believing even in love, but love at sight! (rises) No, my dear Phil, that’s too ridicu—— (a tennis ball comes flying in from the grounds, rolling down to L. corner; Normantower picks it up and gets L.C.)
Kate runs in after the ball, C. from R., she has a tennis bat in her hand, and comes down C.
Kate. ”

“ Kate. Quite. But I shall see you again. (crosses in front of Sir Peter up to R.U.D.)
Bea. (comes to front of sofa) The brougham is quite at your service. (Kate bows and exit R.U.D. Normantower speaks through open door to her for a few moments)
Sir P. (C.) So Miss Derwent is leaving you?
Bea. She wished to go. She has always been allowed to do as she pleased here, and she has availed herself of the privilege.
Sir P. (looking at Beatrice) I see. (enter Philip L.D.)
Bea. Ah, here is Philip! ”

“ Miss Derwent—— (behind sofa, R. of Kate)
Kate. (sitting) Lord Normantower?
Nor. What a strange thing it is that you have grown this old—— (Kate looks at him) I mean, this young, without being married.
Kate. I shall never marry.
Nor. That’s exactly my case. I’ve had one disappointment, and I don’t mean to have another. Once bit, twice shy, they say.
Kate. You have been bitten?
Nor. (goes to R.C.) Badly. But it’s all for the best. It’s made me distrustful of women and a confirmed bachelor. (returns to back of sofa) Why do people want to get married?
Kate. I’ve often wondered. ”

“ She shows him a book, which she takes from table)
Phil. (crosses to Normantower, takes his arm, and draws him back to sofa) You’ve had a narrow escape, evidently; but don’t make the mistake of letting the unworthiness of one woman blind you to the merits of the rest. Believe me, there is no happiness like that of married love. (sits on sofa. Sir Peter is looking at book; Beatrice listening to conversation)
Nor. (sits L. of Philip) Love! there is no such thing. We think we are in love, but we aren’t. What is called love is an affliction of the brain, not an affection of the heart. ”

“ Sir P. Is the most likely person to disturb her husband.
Bea. (pushing past, viciously) Sir Peter, I will see him! (exit, L.D.)
Sir P. (aside, looking after her) But you can’t. (produces key, looks at it and replaces it in his pocket, then goes down L., and leans on mantel, on the opposite side of stage to Lord Normantower—both lost in thought)
Nor. (aside, leaning against column, R.C.) How can I ask Sir Peter? How can I say, has Selwyn made a will, leaving his wife a beggar? I know what his answer would be. “Sir, what the devil has that to do with you?” ”

“ Philip? (advances a step; Philip turns to Beatrice)
[Pg 31]
Kate. (turning to Sir Peter) You have broken your promise!
Sir P. I made no promise. (sits R. by piano, interested in scene)
Phil. Yes, Beatrice, this is my sister——
Kate. (C., breaking out) But you need not acknowledge me. I ask for nothing but to go away. Let the past be forgotten. Of what use is it to revive a sorrow that is dead, and to publish a sin that is unknown? (to Sir Peter) It cannot be right to make three beings unhappy, to do justice to one, when all that one asks is to go away. ”

“ Tom. It’s serious when you marry the wrong person, but I’m going to marry the right one.
Kate. Yes, but who is the right one?
Phil. Surely, the right one is the one we love. (sits, opening letters, in arm-chair R. of table)
Tom. (advances to C.) You think so, Mr. Selwyn? (turns to Mildred, who sits on R. arm of sofa, searches in her work bag and finds an apple which he eats)
Kate. (sits R.C.) Because you have been fortunate in your [Pg 7] choice, but how many have made a mistake! Even love matches are often unfortunate. Love has a habit of being so one-sided. ”

“ Tom. How dare you take that from Miss Selwyn! Is it yours? (facing him boldly)
Sir P. By force of arms.
Tom. Force is not argument.
Sir P. (in a voice of thunder) Go away, boy, go! (points R. Tom collapses, crosses to Mildred, and exit with Mildred R.I.D. quickly)
Sir P. (sits on sofa) “Kennedy—Poisons”— (opens fly-leaf) “Kate Derwent—from her friend, the Author—Guy’s Hospital, 17th April, 1888.” Kennedy’s pet lamb! Gives it right and left, and not got through the first edition yet. Nothing remarkable in that. But why does it open at arsenic? “Mousey is always at Miss Derwent’s book-case.” ”

“ Phil. (they come down stage together, C., Philip on R. of Lord Normantower, Mildred crosses behind them to back of sofa, L. of Tom) My dear Ned! I can’t tell you how glad I am to see you. Sir Peter Lund—Lord Normantower. How kind of you to come and stop with us! How pleasant it will be to chat over old times! But first of all, let me congratulate you on your new dignity.
Nor. Dignity? My dear Phil, I have no dignity. I am a born Bohemian, and the idea of me dropping in for a peerage strikes me as so ludicrous, I’ve done nothing but laugh ever since I became a hereditary legislator. ”

“ Tied to my husband for his life, and at his death, a pauper! Whilst she—she will be the Countess of Normantower! Unless—unless— (sits on sofa smiling to herself) . He doesn’t know that she is Philip’s sister. It is arranged it shall be kept a secret. Then, why is Philip leaving her his fortune? If I could make him think there was another reason. He is in love, and love is always jealous. If I could only sow a doubt between them. Countess of Normantower! What I have thrown away! (music stops)
Re-enter Normantower, R.U.D.
Nor. (goes to C.) It’s all right. We’ve found the shawl. ”

“ Nor. (goes up to head of sofa, looking down on her) I have no wish to be avenged. I loved you—I lost you—and there is an end of it. (turns up C.)
Bea. (rising) Why was I born a woman? (crosses to R.C. corner of table) Why was I not a man? To amuse myself just for the moment, and then to be able to forget!
Nor. (comes down behind chair R.C.) You do us an injustice. We men are not so inconstant as you think. Sometimes we pretend to forget what we are half ashamed to remember. (Beatrice listens intently, watching him out of the corner of her eyes) But the past is past. You are a wife now. ”

“ Moral: never tell secrets to Miss Derwent, when you think I’m not listening.
Phil. My dear, it’s no secret that I have the best wife in the world.
Tom. Everybody thinks that, Mrs. Selwyn. (going up C. towards her)
Bea. (goes to Tom, C.) Not everybody. To wit—Sir Peter Lund.
Mil. Oh, what does it matter what that grumpy old bear thinks? (goes to L. of sofa, and round behind it)
Bea. (crosses Tom to sofa, L.C., picks up a book and sits almost reclining, her back to Phil. and Kate. Tom goes up C. and remains in doorway) My dear Mildred, Sir Peter Lund is a most able and distinguished man. ”

“ Sir P. (sits on sofa) I can account for your condition, only on one hypothesis, and that one is out of the question.
Phil. Mayn’t I know what it is?
Sir P. Since it’s out of the question, it’s no use discussing it. You haven’t answered me. Have you made your will?
Phil. Yes—long ago. It was a very simple matter. Mildred is provided for; so I have left everything to my wife, absolutely. (Sir Peter rises and rings the bell, below fire, crossing in front)
Phil. Do you want anything?
Sir P. Yes. The name and address of your solicitor. ”

“ Sir Peter, will you bring Miss Derwent?
Lord Normantower is obliged to offer his arm to Beatrice. Exit Lord Normantower and Beatrice, R. Sir Peter offers his arm to Kate whom he takes R.C.
Phil. (on stairs) Stop, doctor, stop. (comes down to R. of Kate) Don’t monopolise all the good things. Suppose we go shares. (offers his arm to Kate)
Kate. (between the two) Don’t be scandalised. (to Sir Peter) Mr. Selwyn often gives me his arm. Here— (looking at Philip) I am more like a friend than a dependant.
Phil. (looking at Kate) More like a sister than a friend. ”

“ Philip comes to C. up stage, Kate rises and meets him.
Kate. You, Mr. Selwyn. Then you’re better!
Phil. Yes—feeling another man. I’ve even been attending to business, with my solicitor. (Kate turns away up to R.C.) I must admit, Sir Peter’s treatment is justified by the result, but I can’t say I altogether relish it. (to Normantower) What do you think he’s giving me? (down, front of sofa)
Nor. What? (advances to C.)
Phil. Arsenic. (sitting on sofa)
Nor. Gracious me! (Beatrice comes down, and sits R. by piano)
Kate. (comes down, L. of Beatrice) Arsenic! That’s nothing! Many ladies take it. ”

“ And breaking glass is so unlucky.
(Servants cross and offer coffee to Philip, who takes a cup without milk and sugar, Sir Peter not noticing. They then pass behind to Sir Peter, who takes coffee. Price clears Kate’s cup from the table, then crosses, followed by Servant and exeunt R.U.D.)
Phil. Mousey, you’ll make Sir Peter laugh at you. (Normantower talks to Kate)
Sir P. Why should I?
Phil. Surely you don’t believe in luck? (takes coffee)
Sir P. Everybody believes in luck, except fools, who attribute their successes to their merits. My experience teaches me differently. ”

“ ACT II. Scene.—A Boudoir, opening through a conservatory on to a terrace. Doors, R. and L. A water jug and goblet on table. A week has elapsed. Morning. Lights full up. Music for Act Drop.
Beatrice enters, L., as curtain rises. Kate discovered watering plants in conservatory, up in opening, R.C.
Bea. Good morning, Miss Derwent.
Kate. Good morning, Mrs. Selwyn.
Bea. At work, as usual. How industrious you are! (comes down C., to sofa)
Kate. Yes—I’ve been saying good-bye to all my favourites. (pause—Beatrice takes up a book—Kate goes on watering the plants) How is Mr. Selwyn this morning? ”

“ Bea. “Arsenic”!
Sir P. Look at the title page.
Bea. “Kate Derwent—from her friend, the Author.”
Sir P. (takes book again) I submit that the case against her is one of the gravest suspicion (crosses to back of table, L. of it)
Bea. Then you accuse your friend and protégée.
Sir P. Science has no friendships. Someone is poisoning your husband. I suspect Miss Derwent. (Kate appears momentarily R.C.) Accept my theory or reject it— (raises his voice, to make sure Kate can hear him) Watch that glass! ”

“ Sir P. Sir, one can die of anything. If you only knew the number of things one can die of, you’d wonder any of us are alive. (Philip laughs and lifts his cup to drink) What have you there? (going up to back of table)
Phil. Only some coffee.
Sir P. Put it down, sir, instantly. (hand on table)
Bea. Mayn’t he have coffee, doctor?
Sir P. (crosses behind sofa to C.) Coffee! Most indigestible! Have I not given my orders? He is to taste nothing more to-day, except one dose of medicine before going to bed. (Beatrice goes to piano, puts her cup down and picks up her fan)
Phil. ”

“ You must have risen early this morning. (exit Price with Sir Peter’s hat and stick L.D.)
Sir P. Always get up at five. (crosses to Beatrice) How are you? (shakes hands with Beatrice) How d’ye do? (crosses Beatrice to Kate, and waves his hand to Tom and Mildred) How are you, boy?
Bea. Always get up at five? (L. of Sir Peter)
Phil. And never goes to bed before two. It’s a marvel to me how you do it! (front of sofa)
Sir Peter. (crosses to Phil.) It’s a marvel to me how you don’t do it. That’s why you are out of sorts. You eat too much. ”

“ He seems to think, it is nothing worse than an aggravated case of dyspepsia, and he attaches the greatest importance to diet. He has forbidden poor Philip almost everything. Sir Peter is a little crotchety, but he is paying the greatest attention to the case. And he’s so clever! I am charmed with him. (Normantower crosses to piano, and stands R. of Kate who plays softly. Tom rises, crosses to Mildred and takes her hand. She rises, and they advance down a step R.C.)
Tom. (aside to Mildred) Could you die, Mildred? ”

“ Tom. Well, then, you shan’t be a Countess. A confirmed bachelor’s always the first to get married; and if Ned has a family, I shan’t come in for the title. You wouldn’t mind being Mrs. Verinder, would you?
Mil. Oh, Tom! I know ought to say I should, but I shouldn’t.
Tom. (half embracing her) Say “Yes,” then.
Mil. Someone’s coming! (Tom runs to opposite side of the stage and sits L. of table. She works; he pretends to read a book on table)
Enter Kate Derwent from grounds, C. from R., with a basket of flowers. ”

“ Kate. But I was not born graceful. I don’t think I was properly finished off. Nature has left “a screw loose” somewhere. (crosses R.)
Nor. (C.) “A screw loose?” (nonplussed)
Kate. What perplexes your lordship? (sits R. by piano)
Nor. (goes to her) Miss Derwent, tell me—why did you [Pg 49] ever want to leave Ravenhurst? Don’t think me impertinent. I have a reason for asking.
Kate. And I had a reason for leaving.
Nor. Were you uncomfortable?
Kate. Oh dear, no! Mr. Selwyn has always insisted on my being treated with every consideration.
Nor. Ah! Philip thinks a lot of you, doesn’t he?
Kate. ”

“ Nor. (sits in chair R. of sofa) Ah, well, I’ll do my best; but ten thousand a year, paid quarterly in advance, would have suited Ned Verinder’s book better than an empty honour without a shilling to support it.
Phil. (crosses to Lord Normantower) Well, there’s one consolation. If it’s a difficult matter for a peer to make money, it’s very easy for him to marry it. (Sir Peter comes down to fire-place, R.)
Nor. Marry? Not me! No! I was born a bachelor, and am not going to fly in the face of Providence. ”

“ Exit L., followed by Sir Peter)
Nor. (to Philip) What was the object? (crosses to C. As Normantower crosses he holds out his hand to Kate, which she accepts, Kate being L. of him, R. of sofa)
Phil. Normantower, Kate is my sister. The fortune which I have enjoyed for years is hers, and I was anxious to restore it. The object was, to prevent me. (music in orchestra) Oh, Kate, my heart is broken! (Kate goes to R. of Philip and kneels)
Kate. But time will heal it, Philip; for your heart is good; goodness and happiness are not strangers long. ”

“ Good-night. (exit Price. Beatrice crosses and locks R.U.D. Up R.C., looking at key) Then, he does not suspect me! When I found Philip’s door locked, I was half afraid. Why am I such a coward?—Is he with Philip? (exit L., [Pg 52] music swells. Re-enter L.) No! Philip is fast asleep. Can he be watching? (goes down to R.I.D.) No! (opens door R., looks out, then shuts and locks it) Good night, Sir Peter! pleasant dreams to you! (stands looking at the key) He suspects nothing. (goes to L.C., R. of table. Produces medicine bottle and glass and pours out a dose) It is a great temptation! ”