Thomas A. M. Ward

“ Punch and the Doctor, occupy the same bunk. Judy, with her child, and the dog Toby have a bunk to themselves. The Constable and Jack Ketch, room together. The Negro and the Devil have separate berths.
The way to hold the Puppets in order to exhibit them to the public:
Punch is always held by the showman's right hand, his head is wood of course, and should be five inches, allowing two inches for the length of neck would make it seven inches long, five inches from the neck to the top of the head, with a hole, for the finger to rest in, three inches deep. ”

“ Exit Devil.)
Punch.—He, he, he! (laughing.) He is off: He who runs away will live to fight another day.
(A noise in the background is heard.)
(Punch alarmed by hearing a strange, whirring noise, like that made by a spinning-wheel, retreats to the corner of the stage.)
(Re-enter the Devil, with a stick. He makes up to Punch, who retreats round the back of the stage, and they stand eyeing one another and fensing at opposite sides. At last the Devil makes a blow at Punch which tells on the back of his head.)
Punch.—Take care of my head! What is that for? Old boy, can't we be friends. ”

“ We are told that so grave and dignified a personage as an English Secretary of State is certain to be, once paused on his way from Downing street to the House of Commons on a night of important debate to witness the whole performance. ”

“ Judy.—I won't leave off. (Hits him.)
Punch.—Very well my lady; now comes my turn. (He snatches the stick from her, and strikes her on the head while she runs about to different parts of the stage to get out of his way.) How do you like that? old gal, and (hitting her) that?
Judy.—Mr. Punch, you ought to be ashamed of yourself to strike a woman! a helpless woman like me—get out with you.
Punch.—If a horse kicks me I'll kick him back if I can—if a dog bites me I'll bite him—you take that (hits) and one more [pg 9] (hits her again—she falls to the floor; Punch is alarmed.) No, no ”

“ How to make the dresses and to dress the Figures.—The dress of each Puppet is a gown fastened around its neck about thirteen inches long, on to this is sewed the coat, shirt, vest and pantaloons. Inside of the gown the showman thrusts his hand for the working of the little Actor—described above. [pg 6] The Punch Puppet, has a big belly and a haunch on his back between his shoulders, which gives him the appearance of the Lord Mayor of London. ”

“ Judy.—Mr. Punch, here is our own little darling: you hold the child while I go down in the kitchen and prepare dinner—mind you—don't you slap or pinch it, to make it cry. (He takes the Child. Exit Judy.)
(Punch sings) "It is good to be a father," etc. ”

“ He starts Polly off to bed and as she makes her exit, she exclaims, Uncle, don't forget the dollar!
Punch sings—
"Polly put the kettle on we will all drink tea,
Barney let the girls alone and let them quiet be."
Act II. (Enter Policeman, accompanied by black Joe, the Doctor's servant.)
Joe.—Yes sah, I know him—he can't fool dis child: (looking about him he espies Punch) dah he—dah he is! Dat him—dat's ole Punch.
Punch.—Here's a pretty brace of ducks. (The Policeman at the sight of Punch's stick, sneaks off unseen by the negro, leaving poor Joe all alone with Punch.) ”

“ Act 1. Scene 1st. (Punch—is heard below with a loud squeak: he makes his appearance from the wing on the right hand side of the stage dancing and singing. Enter Punch.)
Punch.—Good day little people—how do you do? The funniest man I ever saw was old Joe Miller. But the smartest chap among them all was Jack the Giant Killer.
The biggest thing on the ice is an Elephant—he is not a pretty bird—and never travels without a trunk. The Pig is a smaller bird—somebody shot his feathers all off.
Judy, my dear, come up stairs.
(Judy answers from below.) I am coming darling. (Enter Judy.) Judy.—Mr. ”