W. J. Judd

“ Enter an old Blind Man, feeling his way with a staff; he goes to the opposite side, when he knocks.
Blind Man. Poor blind man, Mr. Punch; I hope you’ll bestow your charity; I hear that you are very good and kind to the poor, Mr. Punch; pray have pity upon me, and may you never know the loss of your tender eyes! (listens, putting his ear to the side, and hearing nobody coming knocks again) I lost my sight by the sands in Egypt; poor blind man. Pray, Mr. Punch, have compassion upon the poor stone blind. (coughs, and spits over the side) Only a halfpenny to buy something for my bad cough. ”

“ Punch, escaping, and emboldened with the success over his former foes, shows fight. Snake nips him, but he again escapes. Punch is much put about by the appearance, also, of a huge Crocodile on the opposite end of the stage. Finding the chances of victory going against him, he calls out for Joey, who, appearing, is seized by the Crocodile. Punch forces him away, and, in his excitement, places him in the way of the wide-mouthed Snake, who gulps at him, and draws him down the box out of sight. ”

“ Punch has always greeted our ear. We therefore say by all means let it so continue. A little practice will soon enable you to articulate the sound of words intelligibly, and until you are proficient in its use, the answer of the other figure will convey the meaning. Thus, Punch, in his squeaking voice, asks for the baby. Judy answers, “Oh, Mr. Punch, you want the baby, do you? Well, I’m afraid it’s asleep, but I’ll go and see.” Let the squeaker be (a good one) placed on the centre of the tongue, held close to the roof of the mouth and the words spoken through it. ”

“ The desirable genuine-made figures can only be safely secured by ordering them from a dealer or maker that is himself, also, a Punch and Judy player. A bona fide performer, of course, knows just how they ought to be made, and prides himself on their perfectness, improvements and advantages over those of the toy importers that deal in the productions of novices, made for them at the cheapest rates ”

“ The best squeakers are made of silver; they are fully four times thicker in substance than those that are made of tin or zinc, hence they cannot so easily be crushed up, and only require rebinding with tape about once every year. A second squeaker should also be in the performer’s vest pocket for instant readiness in case squeaker No. 1 should be dropped out of the performer’s mouth.
Having instructed the reader how to build a theatre, and traced the history, with the character and deportment, of Mr. Punch, we shall now proceed to place his performances upon record. ”

“ Lawyer. An outfall, your Honor—a misunderstanding—a fight.
Judge. Let them come into Court.
[Pg 67]
Officer (calls) . Herman Kahlesole and William Paul. (he brings them in and places in pen.)
Judge. What is this grave charge all about?
Lawyer. Nothing grave, your Honor. It appears that this butcher, on leaving his store, stepped on a piece of fat, and fell with a quarter of beef. Paul, the baker, laughed at him. The butcher got angry, and so they set to punching one another’s heads.
Judge. What! Punch one another’s heads after the spill of a quartet of beef? ”

“ This advice is of special importance, and should be observed by the players. On no account should Mr. Punch be allowed to remain motionless, dull or stupid, with nothing to say or do. He is ever to be the gayest of the gay, king and conqueror of all before him. Once in view above the stage before the company, whilst waiting for an act to commence or for a figure to come up, he thumps his club down on the stage, throws it at the showman outside, dances, or sings a verse of a song. ”

“ Enter Punch, with his bell, who, seeing the Servant with his stick, retreats instantly, and returns, also armed with a bludgeon, which he does not at first show. The Servant comes forward, and strikes Punch on the head so hard a blow that it seems to confuse him. ”

“ In 1874 the demand for puppets was so great that it became difficult to meet the wants of the many professors that had decided to become performers. Notwithstanding the growing number of actors, in the fall of 1876 not one unemployed Punch and Judy performer could be found in New York city.
As to the puppet-show of “Punch and Judy,” it never is looked at by our people but as a mere joke; and a most effective part of that joke is the ultimate triumph of the hero ”

“ It is time to do so for the benefit of posterity; lest, as society gradually acquires a more superfine polish than it even now possesses, it should be impossible, hereafter, to print what is fortunately yet considered innocent and harmless. ”

“ Punch from dropping down his head, as if weary. Whilst one figure is up to view above the stage, the operator may quickly adjust another figure by holding its head betwixt his chin and breast, whilst he plants his hand beneath its dress.
The performer should educate himself to playing the acts both single-handed, and also with the help of an assistant. Where convenient for two performers to be inside the frame, the show, of course, can be gotten up on a much more grand and extensive scale. ”

“ Punch and the Demon have a very smart combat, during which the Demon nearly succeeds in drawing Mr. Punch down the box. Punch squeals, and wriggles himself away, afterwards taking care not to approach too near, to be again grasped by his Majesty; sets to making a vigorous attack, ending by driving the Demon down the box. Punch is now greatly elated over his triumphal battle with the Demon; darts quickly from corner to corner of the stage ”

“ Punch, and also is a useful help by interesting the company at any gap in the performance caused by the leading performer fixing his puppets ready for the successive acts. The players must remember to give to each figure genuine life-like motions, convey the impressive idea by shaking the head or arms of each figure in turn, as they converse one with the other. ”

“ Should be sorry to keep you, for I know you have a great deal of business when you come to this city. (the Demon advances) Oh, dear! What will become of me!
(The Demon darts at Punch, who escapes, and aims a blow at his enemy; the Demon eludes it, as well as many others, laying his head on the platform, and slipping it rapidly backwards and forwards, so that Punch, instead of striking him, only repeatedly hits the boards.)
[Exit Demon. [Pg 60]
Punch. He, he, he! (laughing) He’s off! He knew which side his bread buttered on. He one deep, cunning devil. ”

“ For this dialogue the steamer may be wrecked in place of the sail ship.
[4] This famous act never fails in bringing out a round of applause, and should be used as a closing piece to the popular Tragedies of Punch and Judy.
If, as Butler insinuates,
“The pleasure is as great
of being cheated as to cheat,”
the life of a Prestidigitator must be a pleasant one; and to enable any one to realize the fact, we, in this volume, present the key to the “Mystical Mysteries,” whereby any boy, of an ingenious turn of mind, can amuse and astound his friends, schoolfellows and neighbors. ”

“ It is the more proper to do so, because they form a branch of our drama which has never been examined by the historians of our stage with as much interest and industry as the subject deserves. When we mention that no less a man than Dr. Johnson was of opinion that puppets were so capable of representing even the plays of Shakspeare, that Macbeth might be performed by them as well as by living actors, it will be evident from such a fact only, that the inquiry is far from unimportant. ”

“ According to Quadrio, in his “Storia d’ogni Poesia,” the name of our hero has relation to the length of his nose: he would spell it Pullicinello from Pulliceno, which Mr. D’Israeli translates “turkey-cock,” an allusion to the beak of that bird. Baretti has it Pulcinella, because that word in Italian means a hen-chicken, whose cry the voice of Punch is said to resemble. ”

“ Like the representations of our early stage, it was not by him distinguished into acts and scenes, but the divisions were easily made. The writer is a professional player of Punch and Judy, and now gives the public, in this book, not only the Italian Piccini’s earlier introduction, but the records of his own experience, with gleanings from that of other first-class players. ”

“ Punch, we will devote the whole of this chapter in explaining to the reader how he may successfully arrange and work the figures, with a description of the frames or Punch and Judy houses in which the performer operates his troupe of puppets.
Portable frames, complete, ready for use, are advertised by the author in the last pages of this work; yet the reader, if a genius, may save half its cost by constructing for himself the little house. Obtain four pieces of pine, eight feet long, two inches in diameter ”

“ Well, I wouldn’t have any objections to that if it wasn’t for one reason, and that is—Well, I hardly like to tell you the reason, either; but I have a young man, and his name’s Julius, and he’s so awfully short himself his head hardly comes above my shoulder; but then, you know, half a loaf’s better than no bread, and a short young man’s better than none at all. Talking of Julius, I will tell you something. The other evening we were strolling up-town together, and Julius is awfully generous—he’d give me anything. ”

“ G shows pulley and cord fitted on to the roller at A. The five pulleys should not be more than four inches in diameter. A should be the scene of a prison, B an hotel scene, C the forest, D the Black Hills, and E the background. A front drop scene can also be added, which does not stand located in the engraving. The remaining portion of this theatre is made and bolted together after the plan advised for the smaller frame. The theatre once properly built, each timber must be legibly marked before taken apart, so that the performer may speedily rebuild the same when wanted. ”

“ Under his left hand, at the end of shelf, he lays the Snake Demon and Little Dog; next to them the Sheriff, Doctor, Ghost, Negro, Negress, Judy; on his right or other end Punch, Scaramouch, Dutchman, Irishman, and Pretty Polly; over these he rests Dog Toby and Punch’s Baby in readiness for the opening acts. Amongst the figures he should have a bell, the gallows, and three clubs, as sticks for Mr. Punch. The box trick, coffin, and other stage properties should lie on the ground near the performer’s feet. Where there is but one player to work the show, remember to put a stick in the hole of Mr. ”

“ The French Ponche has been fancifully derived from no less a personage than Pontius Pilate of the old Mysteries, whom, in barbarous times, the Christians wished to abuse and ridicule. If we cannot settle the disputed point, it is very evident that, in future, ingenuity and learning will be thrown away in attempting further elucidation. ”

“ Officer (getting a clearer view of his man, says) . Oh, lor, you are not the man now, after all. The man that I am after has an Irish pug nose, and you are an old Dutchman. Get back into your bed. I made a mistake.
Schmidt. Yaw, another beefsteak. Vonder when they’ll stop coming and let von fellow get von little sleep.
Enter Ghost, who opens and closes his ghostly teeth..
Schmidt. Oh, vot is o’stealing o’er me? I tremble, I shake. Oh, that clubbing! (he sees the Ghost; he trembles) Oh, oh! Four dollars for a bed in a haunted house. ”

“ To finish, cut a shelf from a ten-inch board, full 36 inches long; mortise two of the corners to fit or catch into the two front pillars; this you lay on the two centre cross-pieces, which forms you a snug interior shelf on which you lay all the figures that you use [Pg 17] in the performance. A proscenium, cut out of thick cardboard, and tastefully decorated or painted, should be hung in front of the stage. This, with the calico covering that you wrap around the frame, completes the structure, illustrations of which may be seen on our title-page and next succeeding engraving. ”

“ They are of peculiar construction, and differ from the Punch and Judy Troupe in that the Performer is standing over instead of beneath them. They are worked by each having five or more invisible silken cords, terminating in an instrument held in the hands of the Performer. Their feet, hands and head go through all the life-like motions of living actors. The smallest are twenty-four inches, and the largest made are forty-two inches in height. ”

“ Dutchman. Yes; all are drowned.
Irishman. Then my wife’s mother is gone, too. (he puts his hands up to his face and cries.)
Dutchman. Vot! Crying because you’ve lost your mother-in-law?
Irishman. No, friend, it is not that; but maybe when I tell my ole woman she’ll be arter going frantic, and clubbing my head off.
Dutchman. Nonsense! I’ll come with you, and gradually break the sad, sad news. [Exeunt.
[Pg 65]
THE BLACK JUDGE. Scene.—The Prison-House.
Enter two men who fix the Judge’s bench in the hole used for the gallows. Prisoners’ pen in the centre; Lawyers’ table on the left of stage. ”

“ We have never seen less than two men concerned in these ambulatory exhibitions: one to carry the theatre and use Punch’s tin whistle, and the other to bear the box of puppets and blow the trumpet. During the performance the money is collected from the bystanders, and far from agreeing with Mr. ”