Tobias Smollett

“ It was not long before I guessed the result of his deliberation, by his addressing himself to me one day in the following manner: "I am surprised that a young fellow like you discovers no inclination to push his fortune in the world. What's to hinder you from profiting by the war, which will certainly be declared in a short time against Spain? You may easily get on board a king's ship, in quality of a surgeon's mate, where you will certainly see a great deal of practice, and stand a good chance of getting prize-money." ”

“ Ah! son, son, what a glorious prospect is here spoiled by your stubborn prejudice! However I am acquainted with some people of rank at Versailles, to whom I can give you letters of recommendation, so that you may be entertained by some of them. I embraced his offer and he appointed me to come in the afternoon when he would not only give me the letters, but introduce me to a capuchin of his acquaintance, who intended to set out next morning to Paris, in whose company I might travel, without being at the expence of one livre during the whole journey. ”

“ Meanwhile I met with my old acquaintance Banter and in the evening went to the opera with him and Mr. Chatter who pointed out Melinda in one of the boxes, and offered to introduce me to her, observing at the same time, that she was a reigning toast worth ten thousand pounds, and assured me I should dance with her at the next assembly. Banter, in a whisper, gave me to understand that she was an incorrigible coquette, who would grant the same favour to any young fellow in England, of a tolerable appearance merely to engage him among the herd of her admirers. ”

“ Miss Williams was as sensible as I of this disadvantage; but comforted my with observing that when once a woman has bestowed her affections on a man, she cannot help judging of him in all respects with partiality. Having dressed myself to the best advantage, I waited for the time of dinner with the utmost impatience. At last Mr. Freeman called at my lodgings in his way, and I accompanied him to the house where all my happiness was deposited.—We were kindly received by the Squire, who sat smoking his pipe in the parlour, and asked if we chose to drink any thing before dinner. ”

“ We spend the afternoon in all the extacy of hope, that the most fervent love, exchanged by mutual vows, could inspire. The evening being far advanced I forced myself from the dear object of my flame, who indulged me in a tender embrace at parting, and then repaired to my lodgings. ”

“ I had already been eight months in the station of a footman when an accident happened, that put an end to my servitude and, for the present, banished all hopes of succeeding in my love. Narcissa went one day to visit Miss Thicket who lived within a mile of our house and was persuaded to walk home in the cool of the evening, accompanied by Sir Timothy, who having a good deal of the brute in him, was instigated to use some unbecoming familiarities with her. ”

“ The news of our marriage being spread, a certain set of persons, fond of scandal, began to inquire into the particulars of my fortune, which they no sooner understood to be independent than the tables were turned, and our acquaintance was courted as much as it was despised before.
Every thing being settled, we set out for Edinburgh, where Don Roderiguez, having intelligence that his nephew the fox-hunter's estate was to be sold, bought the whole of his father's lands. In a few days after, we left Edinburgh, and halted one night in the town where I was educated. ”

“ As we exerted ourselves more than usual, I found myself quite spent with fatigue, when we entered a small village, in the twilight.—We took up our lodging in a small public house and in the morning pursued our journey. Having walked all day at a great pace without halting for a refreshment, we deferred towards the evening, to our inexpressible joy, the waggon about a quarter of a mile before us; but we were both of us so weary, that I verily believe it would have been impracticable for us to have walked one mile further. ”

“ As they retired together, I perceived that Miss had got more twists from nature, than I had before observed, being bent side-ways, into the figure of an S, so that her progression very much resembled that of a crab. When we had made an end of our repast, and paid our reckoning, we went into the coach, took our places, and bribed the driver with sixpence to revenge us on the rest, by hurrying them away in the midst of their meal. ”

“ My uncle hugged her with affection, and I presented her to Banter who saluted her; Miss Williams hung round her neck and wept; while Strap begged to kiss her hand. After supper, Narcissa withdrew with her maid, her face overspread with blushes, that set all my blood in fermentation, and in a little time I broke from the company, burst into her chamber. pushed out her confident, at the same time locking the door.—O heaven and earth! a feast, a thousand times more delicious than my most sanguine hopes ever presaged! ”

“ While I was meditating, I heard a noise in my room, like something heavy falling down upon the floor; upon which I started up and observed by moon-light the shadow of a man groping his way out. I retired to one side to let him pass, and saw him go down stairs as expeditiously as he could.—It was an easy matter to divine that this was the captain, who having over-slept himself, had at last got up to (illegible text) his assignation; and finding my door upon, had entered into my apartment instead of that of his mistress. ”

“ She smiled with unspeakable sweetness, but reminded me of our being almost strangers to one another, and of the necessity there was for her knowing me better, before she could take any resolution in my favour. I gazed with unutterable fondness! I grew man with admiration! My condition is insupportable! cried I; I am distracted with passion! Why are you so exquisitely fair? Why are you so enchantingly good? Why has nature dignified you with charms so much above the standard of women? ”

“ Next morning he arrived at the door in a chair, wrap up in a blanket he had borrowed; for his body was so sore and swelled that he could not bear to be confined in wearing apparel.—He was treated with the utmost tenderness by my mistress and her daughter; but Lavement himself could not forbear expressing his joy by several malicious grins—As to myself, nobody can doubt my gratification, which I had every day an opportunity of seeing my revenge protracted on the body of my adversary, by the sores and ulcers I had been the cause of. ”

“ My master ordered me to be carried up stairs to bed, where I was carefully attended. My meditation was employed in concerting with myself some method of revenge, when Miss entered my chamber, and, saying she was sorry for the accident that had befallen me asked me if I suspected any body to be the assassin? Upon which, I fixed my eyes stedfastly upon her, and answered, Yes. She replied hastily, If that be the case, why don't you take out a warrant to have him apprehended? It will cost but a trifle; if you have no money, I'll lend you. ”

“ In a few days after, my uncle set out for his ship, after having settled the necessary funds for my maintenance and education.
I now began to consider my precarious situation; that I was utterly abandoned by those whose duty it was to protect me; and that my sole dependance was on the generosity of one man, who was exposed by his profession, to continual dangers, which might one day deprive me of him for ever. ”

“ After giving way, for a few minutes to the dictates of my rage, I went and hired a small bed-room, at the rate of one shilling and sixpence per week, which I was obliged to pay per advance, before the landlord would receive me: hither I removed my luggage; and next morning got up, with a view of craving the advice and assistance of a person who had, on all occasions, loaded me with caresses, and made frequent offers of friendship, while I was under no necessity of accepting them. ”

“ These qualifications, added to a good face and shape, acquired the esteem and acquaintance of the most considerable people in town. Thus I remained in good reputation for some time; when one day, on going home to dinner, I was informed there was a letter from my uncle, which said that he had killed his captain in a duel for which he was obliged to leave the ship and go over to France; but that he hoped to be restored in a little time. It however affected the apothecary in such a manner, that he gave me to understand that I might provide myself with another lodging. ”

“ My father being informed of what had happened, flew to her, and could not help shedding a flood of tears on beholding the dear partner of his heart laid in a miserable apartment unfit to protect her from the inclemency of the weather. The old gentleman was not ignorant of what had passed, though he affected to be much surprised when he heard it; and gave orders she should immediately be gone. Her want of necessaries where she lodged, and grief and anxiety of mind, soon put an end to her life. ”

“ When he mentioned the name of Sir John Sparkle he represented him as a man of an immense estate who mewed up his only child, a fine young lady from the conversation of mankind under the strict watch and inspection of an old governante, who was either so honest envious, or insatiable, that nobody had been as yet able to make her a friend or get access to her charge, and she had a fortune of twelve thousand pounds left her by an uncle, of which she could not be deprived. ”

“ Crampley swore he did not know how to keep the ship's way. But at three o'clock next morning the ship struck and remained fast on the land bank. The masts were cut away in order to lighten her; this was performed without success. The sailors seeing things in a desperate situation, broke up the chests belonging to the officers, dressed themselves in their clothes, and drank their liquors without ceremony. During this I clothed myself in my best apparel, girded on my hanger, stuck my pistols loaded in my belt, disposed of all my valuable moveables about me, and came upon the deck. ”

“ We travelled all day at a round pace, and having taken up our lodging at an inn, I found myself so fatigned, that I began to despair of performing our journey on foot, and desired Strap to inquire if there was any waggon, return-horses, or other cheap carriage in this place, to depart for London tomorrow of next day. ”

“ He performed his promise, by making me acquainted with the capuchin, with whom I departed next morning by break of day.
It was not long before I discovered my fellow traveller to be a merry facetious fellow, who loved good eating and drinking better than his rosary. His name was Frere Balthazer: and as he was perfectly well known on the road, we fared sumptuously without any cost. We took up our lodging the first night at a peasant's house, not far from Abbe Ville, where we were entertained with an excellent ragout cooked by our landlord's daughters. ”

“ In the mean time, my uncle being informed of my master's behaviour to me, was enraged beyond all composition, and vowed revenge so heartily, that I could not refrain from telling him the scheme I had concerted: but he, doubting our abilities, consented to assist us. We were very proud of our associate, who prepared a cat-and-nine-tails with great expedition; after whcih, he ordered our baggage to be packed up, and got horses ready to be mounted as soon as the affair should be over. ”

“ The Captain and his lady used all the arguments they could, to prevail on the apothecary to pursue me to destruction. But their eloquence made no impression on my master, who turning to me said, “Go, miserable from my house, quick.—“and make reparation for your actions.” By this time my indignation had roused me from the stupefaction in which I had hitherto remained and I began in this manner:—“Sir. appearances, I own, condemn me; but you are imposed upon as much as I am abused. ”

“ From this day forward she came into the shop fifty times every day on various pretences and put in practice so many ridiculous airs, that I could easily perceive her opinion of me was changed, but my heart was so steeled against her charms, by pride and resentment, that notwithstanding some advances she made, I could not be prevailed upon to yield her the least attention. ”

“ Morgan flatly refused to quit the ship the commissioners of the navy had appointed him.—When I recollected the miseries I had undergone in England I could not help thinking but my success would be much more certain by staying where I was. I therefore resolved voluntarily to submit to the admiral's pleasure. I was accordingly appointed surgeon's mate of the Lizard sloop of war, which put me on a footing with every first mate in the service. ”