John Cleland

“ Cole, being rang for by him, came in, and was made acquainted in terms of the utmost joy and rapture, with his triumphant certainty of my virtue, and the finishing stroke he had given it, in the course of the night; of which he added, she would see proof enough, in bloody characters, on the sheets.
You may guess how a woman of her turn of address and experience, humour'd the jest, and play'd him off with mix'd exclamations of shame, anger, compassion for me, and of her being pleas'd that all was so well over ”

“ Easily then reading in my eyes the full permission of myself to all his wishes, he scarce pleas'd himself more than me, when having insinuated his hand under my petticoat and shift, he presently remov'd those bars to the sight, by slily lifting them upwards, under favour of a thousand kisses, which he thought, perhaps, necessary to divert my attention to what he was about. All my drapery being now roll'd up to my waist, I threw myself into such a posture upon the couch, as gave up to him, in full view, the whole region of delight, and all the luxurious landscape round it. ”

“ In the midst of all the frolic and wantonnesses, which this joyous band had presently and all naturally run into, an elegant supper was serv'd in, and we sat down to it, my spark elect placing himself next to me, and the other couples without order, or ceremony. The delicate cheer, and good wine, soon banish'd all reserve; the conversation grew as lively as could be wish'd, without taking too loose a turn: these professors of pleasure knew too well, to stale the impressions of it, or evaporate the imagination in words, before the time of action. ”

“ I was soon laid in bed, and scarce languish'd an instant for the darling partner of it, before he was undress'd and got between the sheets, with his arms clasp'd round me, giving and taking, with a gust inexpressible, a kiss of welcome, that my heart rising to my lips, stamp'd with its warmest-impression, concurring to my bliss, with that delicate and voluptuous emotion which Charles alone had the secret to excite, and which constitutes the very life, the essence of pleasure. ”

“ After some pause, he ask'd me, with a tone of voice mightily soften'd, whether I would make it up with him before the old lady returned, and all should be well; he would restore me his affections: at the same time offering to kiss me, and feel my breasts. But now my extreme aversion, my fears, my indignation, all acting upon me, gave me a spirit not natural to me, so that breaking loose from him, I ran to the bell, and rang it, before he was aware, with such violence and effect, as brought up the maid to know what was the matter, or whether the gentleman wanted any thing? ”

“ As I kept hesitating, and disconcerted under this soft distraction, Charles, with a fond impatience, took the pains to undress me, and all I can remember, amidst the flutter and discomposure of my senses, was, some fluttering exclamations of joy and admiration, more especially at the feel of my breasts now set at liberty from my stays, and which panting and rising in tumultuous throbs, swell'd upon his dear touch, and gave it the welcome pleasure of finding them well-form'd, and unfail'd in firmness. ”

“ But every thing must have an end. A motion made by this angelic youth, in the listlessness of going-off sleep, replac'd his shirt and cloaths in a posture that shut up that treasure from longer view.
I lay down then, and carrying my hands to that part of me, in which the objects just seen had begun to raise a mutiny, that prevail'd over the smart of them, my fingers now open'd themselves an easy passage; but long I had not time to consider the wide difference there, between the maid, and the now finish'd woman, before Charles wak'd, and turning towards me, kindly enquir'd how I had rested? ”

“ But, ah! what became of me, when, as the powers of solid pleasure thickened upon me, I could not help feeling the stiff stake that had been adorned with the trophies of my despoiled virginity, bearing hard and inflexible against one of my thighs, which I had not yet opened, from a true principle of modesty, revived by a passion too sincere to suffer any aiming at the false merit of difficulty, or my putting on an impertinent mock-coyness.
I have, I believe, somewhere before remark'd, that the feel of that favourite piece of manhood has, in the very nature of it, something inimitably pathetic. ”

“ The first that stood up, to open the ball, were a cornet of horse and that sweetest of olive-beauties, the soft and amorous Louisa. He led her to the couch, "nothing loth," on which he gave her the fall; and extended her at her length with an air of roughness and vigour, relishing high of amourous eagerness and impatience. The girl spreading herself to the best advantage, with her head upon the pillow, was so concenter'd in what she was about, that our presence seem'd the least of her care or concern. ”

“ At length supper was served in, before which Charles had, for I do not know what reason, slipt his cloaths on, and sitting down by the bed-side, we made table and table-cloath of the bed and sheets, whilst he suffer'd nobody to attend or serve but himself. He ate with a very good appetite, and seem'd charm'd to see me eat. For my part, I was so enchanted with my fortune, so transported with the comparison of the delights I now swarm in, with all the insipidity of my past scenes of life, that I thought them sufficiently cheap at even the price of my ruin, or the risque of their not lasting. ”

“ But when proceeding on the foot of having broke the ice, to join discourse, he went into other leading questions, I put so much innocence, simplicity, and even childishness, into my answers, that on no better foundation, liking my person as he did, I will answer for it, that he would have been sworn for my modesty. There is, in short, in the men, when once they are caught, by the eye especially, a fund of cullibility, that their lordly wisdom little dreams of, and in virtue of which the most sagacious of them are seen so often our dupes. ”

“ There then I lay down in my cloaths, and fell fast asleep, and had now enjoy'd by guess, about an hour's rest; when I was pleasingly disturb'd by my new and favourite gallant, who enquiring for me, was readily directed where to find me. Coming then into my chamber, and seeing me lie alone, with my face turn'd from the light towards the inside of the bed, he, without more ado, just slipp'd off his breeches, for the greater ease and enjoyment of the naked touch; and softly turning up my petticoat and shift behind, open'd himself the prospect of the back avenue to the genial seat of pleasure ”

“ Before either of us undressed, however, he put out the candle; and the bitterness of the weather made it a kind of necessity for me to get into bed: slipping then my cloaths off, I crept under the bed-cloaths, where I found the young stripling already nestled, and the touch of his warm flesh rather pleased than alarmed me. I was indeed too much disturb'd with the novelty of my condition, to be able to sleep; but then I had not the least thought of harm: but oh! how powerful are the instincts of nature, and how little is there wanting to set them in action? ”

“ I was sitting up in the bed, the cloaths of which were all tost, or roll'd off, by the unquietness of our motions, from the sultry heat of the weather; nor could I refuse myself a pleasure that solicited me so irresistibly, as this fair occasion of feasting my sight with all those treasures of youthful beauty I had enjoy'd, and which lay now almost entirely naked, his shirt being trust up in a perfect wisp, which the warmth of the room and season made me easy about the consequence of. ”

“ Thus, at length, I got snug into port, where, in the bosom of virtue, I gather'd the only uncorrupt sweets: where, looking back on the course of vice, I had run, and comparing its infamous blandishments with the infinitely superior joys of innocence, I could not help pitying, even in point of taste, those who, immers'd in a gross sensuality, are insensible to the so delicate charms of Virtue, than which even Pleasure has not a greater friend, nor than Vice a greater enemy. ”

“ As we were giving then a few moments of pause to the delectation of the senses, in dwelling with the highest relish on this intimatest point of re-union, and chewing the cud of enjoyment, the impatience natural to the pleasure soon drove us into action. Then began the driving tumult on his side, and the responsive heaves on mine, which kept me up to him: whilst as our joys grew too mighty for utterance, the organs of our voice, voluptuously intermixing, became organs of the touch: And, oh, that touch, how delicious! ”

“ Nor was it till after a few enjoyments had numb'd and blunted the sense of the smart, and given me to feel the titillating inspersion of balsamic sweets, drew from me the delicious return, and brought down all my passion, that I arriv'd at excess of pleasure, through excess of pain; but when successive engagements had broke and inur'd me, I began to enter into the true unallay'd relish of that pleasure of pleasures, when the warm gush darts through all the ravish'd inwards; what floods of bliss! what melting transports! what agonies of delight! ”

“ As soon as he was gone, I felt the usual consequence of the first launch into vice; (for my love attachment to Charles never appear'd to me in that light) . I was instantly born away down the stream, without the power of making back to the shore. My dreadful necessities, my gratitude, and above all, to say the plain truth, the dissipation, and diversion I began to find in this new acquaintance, from the black corroding thoughts my heart had been a prey to, ever since the absence of my dear Charles, concurr'd to stun all contrary reflections. ”

“ Accordingly he went out and left me, when a minute or two after, before I could recover myself into any composure for thinking, the maid came in with her mistress's service, and a small silver porrenger of what she call'd a bridal posset, and desir'd me to eat it as I went to bed, which consequently I did, and felt immediately a heat, a fire run like a hue-and-cry through ev'ry part of my body; I burnt, I glow'd, and wanted even little of wishing for any man. ”

“ The landlady leaving us again, he proceeded to shift, in the act of which, tho' he proceeded with all that modesty, which became these first solemner instants of our re-meeting, after so long an absence, I could not contain certain snatches of my eyes, lur'd by the dazzling discoveries of his naked skin, that escap'd him as he chang'd his linnen, and which I could not observe the unfaded life, and complexion of, without emotions of tenderness and joy, that had himself too purely for their object, to partake of a loose, or mis-tim'd desire. ”

“ And now Emily's partner had taken her out for her share in the dance, when this transcendently fair and sweet-tempered creature readily stood up; and if a complexion to put the rose and lilly out of countenance, extreme pretty features, and that florid health and bloom for which the country-girls are so lovely, might pass her for a beauty, she certainly was one, and one of the most striking of the fair ones.
Her gallant began first, as she stood, to disingage her breasts, and restore them to the liberty of nature, from the easy confinement of no more than a pair of jumps ”

“ Brown's discovering my purpose, of disappointments, misery, ruin, all vanish'd before this new-kindl'd flame. The seeing, the touching, the being, if but for a night, with this idol of my fond virgin-heart, appeared to me a happiness above the purchase of my liberty or life. He might use me ill! let him! he was the master! happy, too happy even to receive death at so dear a hand. ”

“ Harriet then was led to the vacant couch by her gallant, blushing as she look'd at me, and with eyes made to justify any thing, tenderly bespeaking of me the most favourable construction of the step she was thus irresistibly drawn into.
Her lover, for such he was, sat her down at the foot of the couch, and passing his arms round her neck, preluded with a kiss fervently applied to her lips, that visibly gave her life and spirit to go through with the scene ”

“ I lay then at length panting for the imminent attack, with wishes far beyond my fears, and for which it was scarce possible for a girl barely thirteen, but tall and well grown, to have better dispositions. He threw up my petty coat and shift, whilst my thighs were by an instinct of nature unfolded to their best; and my desires had so thoroughly destroy'd all modesty in me, that even their being now naked, and all laid open to him, was part of the prelude that pleasure deepen'd my blushes at, more than shame ”

“ I was not seventeen, as I am not now eighteen, before I had, on the account of my person purely, (for fortune I had notoriously none) several advantageous proposals: but whether nature was slow in making me sensible of her favourite passion, or that I had not seen any of the other sex who had stirr'd up the least emotion or curiosity to be better acquainted with it, I had till that age preserv'd a perfect innocence even of thought: whilst my fears of I did not well know what, made me no more desirous of marrying than of dying. ”

“ Cole's house, where Louisa and Emily still continu'd in the old way; and my great favourite Harriet, us'd often to come and see me, and entertain me, with her head and heart full of the happiness she enjoy'd with her dear baronet, whom she lov'd with tenderness and constancy, even though he was her keeper; and what is yet more, had made her independent by a handsome provision for her, and hers. ”

“ Late in the morning I wak'd first; and observing my lover slept profoundly, softly disengag'd myself from his arms, scarcely daring to breath, for fear of shortening his repose: my cap, my hair, my shift were all in disorder, from the rufflings I had undergone; and I took this opportunity to adjust, and set them as well as I could: whilst every now and then, looking at the sleeping youth with inconceiveable fondness and delight ”