Eliza Fowler Haywood

“ The desire of novelty is inherent to a youthful heart, and nothing so much gratifies that passion as travelling: — variety succeeds variety; — whether you climb the craggy mountains, or traverse the flowery vale; — whether thick woods set limits to the light, or the wide common yields unbounded prospect; — whether the ocean rolls in solemn state before you, or gentle streams run purling by your side, nature in all her different shapes delights; each progressive day brings with it fresh matter to admire, and every stage you come to presents at night customs and manners new and unknown before. ”

“ This undoubtedly happened on the score of Natura and his wife, and occasioned not only many idle stories at tea-table conversation, but also many oblique hints to be sometimes given to himself, which, perhaps, there was not the least grounds for, but which greatly added to his disquiets; as when we think we have reason to believe part, we are ready to give credit to all we hear, especially in cases of this nature; it being the peculiar property of jealousy, to force the mind to grasp with eagerness, at every thing that tends to render it more afflicted and perplexed. ”

“ But while the abbess was busy on her project, Elgidia had also another, though of somewhat a less desperate kind; her sister's temper gave her but too much reason to believe she would revenge herself on her by all the ways in her power; and trembling at the thoughts of being exposed to her parents, and the censure of the world, as the other had threatened, which she knew no way to avoid, but by Natura making up this quarrel; and tho' she knew it could only be done by his renouncing all pretensions to herself, yet she rather chose to lose the man she loved, than her reputation. ”

“ It is with the utmost justice, that by the system of the christian religion, pride is intitled the original sin, not only as it was that of the fallen angels, but also as it is certainly the fountain-head from which all our other vices are derived. — It is by the dictates of this pernicious passion we are inflamed with wrath, and wild ambition, — instigated to covetousness, — to envy, — to revenge, and in fine, to stop at nothing which tends to self-gratification, be our desires of what kind soever. ”

“ From seventeen or eighteen to one or two and twenty, I look upon to be that season of life in which all the errors we commit, will admit of most excuse, because we are then at an age to think ourselves men, without the power of acting as becomes reasonable men. It was in the midst of this dangerous time, that Natura set out in order to make the tour of Europe, and his governor dying soon after their arrival in Paris, our young traveller was left to himself, and at liberty to pursue whatever he had a fancy for. ”

“ The inconsideration and instability of youth; when unrestrained by authority, is here exemplified, in an odd adventure Natura embarked in with two nuns, after the death of his governor.
Novelty has charms for persons of all ages, but more especially in youth, when manhood is unripened by maturity, when all the passions are afloat, and reason not sufficiently established in her throne by experience and reflection, the mind is fluctuating, easily carried down the stream of every different inclination that invites, and seldom or never has a constant bent. ”

“ As wrath is one of the most violent emotions of the soul, so I think it is one of the first that breaks out into effects: it owes its birth indeed to pride; for we are never angry, unless touched by a real, or imaginary insult; but, by the offspring chiefly is the parent seen. Pride seldom, I believe it may be said, never, wholly dies in us, tho' it may be concealed; whereas wrath diminishes as our reason increases, and seems intirely evaporated after the heat of youth is over: when a man therefore has divested himself of the one, no tokens are left to distinguish the other. ”

“ To be treated in the same manner, answered she blushing, if he is sincere; and to be made know that he cannot have formed any designs upon the heart of Elgidia, which Elgidia has not equally harboured upon that of Natura. — A declaration so unexpected might very well transport a young man, even beyond himself, and all considerations whatever: — forgetful of the respect due to her quality and virtue, and regardless of the place they were in, he seized her in his arms, and almost smothered her with kisses, before she could disengage herself ”

“ But see, how capable are our finest resolutions of being shaken by accidents! — the most assured of men may be compared to the leaf of a tree, which veers with every blast of wind, and is never long in one position. — Had any one told Natura he had taken all this pains for nothing, and that he would be more anxious to get off his promise of marrying Lætitia, than ever he had been to engage one from her for that purpose; he would have thought himself highly injured, and that the person who said this of him was utterly a stranger to his sentiments or character ”

“ If the vanity so natural to a young heart, made Natura, on this information, pleased and proud of the consideration such a lady had for him while unknown, how much more cause had he to be so, when being shewn by the same peasant into the monastery, he was brought into a parlour, magnificently furnished, and no sooner had sat down, than a very beautiful woman, whom he soon found was the lady abbess, appeared behind the grate, and welcomed him with the most elegant compliments. ”

“ Natura did not fail to answer this gallantry in a proper manner, and departed highly satisfied with his adventure; tho' probably could find less reasons for being so, than those with whom he thought it the greatest happiness of his life to have become acquainted.
Wonderful are the workings of love on a young heart: pleasure has the same effect as pain, and permits as little rest: it was not in the power of Natura to close his eyes for a long time after he went to bed. ”

“ The adventure I am now going to relate, will prove that Natura had the greatest excitements, and the greatest justification both for wrath and revenge that could possibly be offered to any one man: yet did another passion, not more excusable than either of these, suppress all the turbulent emotions of both, and quench the boiling flames within his soul, insomuch as to make him appear all calmness and contentedness. ”

“ It is certain, that never any two persons were possessed of a more true and delicate passion for each other: — the flame which warmed their breasts, was meerly spiritual, and platonic; — the difference of sex was never considered: — Natura adored Charlotte, not because she was a lovely woman, but because he imagined somewhat angelic in her mind; and Charlotte loved Natura not because he had an agreeable person, but because she thought she discovered more charms in his soul, than in that of any other man or woman. ”

“ Thus have I attempted to trace nature in all her mazy windings, and shew life's progress thro' the passions, from the cradle to the grave. — The various adventures which happened to Natura, I thought, afforded a more ample field, than those of any one man I ever heard, or read of; and flatter myself, that the reader will find many instances, that may contribute to rectify his own conduct, by pointing out those things which ought to be avoided, or at least most carefully guarded against, and those which are worthy to be improved and imitated. ”

“ This was the first proof he gave of a firmness of resolution, and was indeed as great a one as could have been expected from a man of the age he was: — it must be owned, that at that time love is the strongest passion of the soul, and as neither Elgidia nor the abbess wanted charms to inspire it, and he had been but too sensible of the force of both, to be able, I say, to tear himself away in the manner he now did, was a piece of heroism, which I with every one in the like circumstance may have power to imitate. ”

“ The manner in which this request was urged, had somewhat in it too obliging, for Natura to have denied, in good manners, even if his inclinations had been opposite; but indeed he was too much charmed with the conversation of the lovely abbess, and her fair associates, to be desirous of quitting it. — He not only stayed that night, but also, on their continuing to ask it, many succeeding ones. — He lay in the apartment above-mentioned, breakfasted, dined, and supped in the convent, as if a pensioner in the place, always in the same company, and ambitious of no other. ”

“ Hence it is plain, that the passion of love is part of our composition, implanted in the soul for the propagation of the world; and we ought not, in my opinion, to be too severe on the errors which, meerly and abstracted from any other motive than itself, it sometimes influences us to be guilty of. — The laws, indeed, which prohibit any amorous intercourse between the sexes, unless authored by the solemnities of marriage, are without all question, excellently well calculated for the good of society, because without such a restriction, there would be no such thing as order in the world. ”

“ But to take nature in the general, and allowing for the different habits of body and complexion, we may be truly said to be most prone to particular passions at particular ages: — as in youth, love, hope, and joy; — in maturity, ambition, pride, and its attendant ostentation; — when more advanced in years, grief, fear, and despair; — and in old age, avarice, and a kind of very churlish dislike of every thing presented to us.
But to return to Natura, from whose adventures I have digressed ”

“ Avarice is, indeed, frequently distinguishable in old men; but this I do not look upon as a passion but a propensity, arising from ill-nature and self-love. — Gain, and the sordid pleasure of counting over money, and reckoning up rents and revenues, is the only lust of age; and since we cannot be so handsome, so vigorous, cannot indulge our appetites, like those who are younger, we take all manner of ways to be richer, and pride ourselves in the length of our bags, and the number of our tenants. ”

“ I have told this man twenty times, that if I were disposed to think of a second marriage, which I do not believe I ever shall, the present sentiments I am possessed of, would never be reversed by any offer he could make me; yet will he still persist in his impertinent declarations.
There needed no more to convince Natura he had a rival; nor, as he knew Charlotte had nothing of coquetry in her humour, to make him also know she was not pleased with having attracted the affections of this new admirer: this gave him an inexpressible satisfaction ”

“ It is true, that we frequently in the hurry of resentment, threaten, and sometimes act every thing in our power, against the person who has offended us, yet on his submission and appearing sorry for what he has done, we not only forgive, but also forget all has past, and no longer bear him the least ill will; but then, this passion, by which we have been actuated, is not properly revenge, but anger, of which I have already sufficiently spoke, and, I flatter myself, proved how wide the difference is between these two emotions. ”

“ It is certain that this young gentleman had not only broke through the bands of duty, honour, gratitude, and every social obligation, but had also sinned against nature itself, by adding incest to adultery. — Natura could not indeed consider him as any thing but a monster, and that as such he ought to be cut off from the face of the earth; and neither reason nor humanity, could alledge any thing against the dictates of a revenge, which by the most unconcerned and disinterested person could not be called unjust. ”

“ The tranquility of being entirely devoid of all passions; and the impossibility for the soul to remain in that state of inactivity is also shewn; with some remarks on human nature in general, when left to itself.
I have already shewn, in the example of Natura, how not only resentment for injuries, but even the extremest and most justifiable rage, may be subjected to ambition, and afterwards how that ambition may be quelled and totally extinguished by grief; and also that grief itself, how violent soever it appears, may subside at the emotions of revenge. ”

“ So great an effect has mercy and benevolence over a heart not hardened by a long practice of vice! How far Natura persevered in these good intentions, we shall hereafter see; but the very ability of forming them, shews that there is a native gratitude and generosity in the human mind, which, in spite of the prevalence of unruly passions, will, at sometimes, shine forth, even in the most thoughtless and inconsiderate. ”