John Cleland

“ In the midst of all the frolic and wantonnesses, which this joyous band had presently and all naturally run into, an elegant supper was serv'd in, and we sat down to it, my spark elect placing himself next to me, and the other couples without order, or ceremony. The delicate cheer, and good wine, soon banish'd all reserve; the conversation grew as lively as could be wish'd, without taking too loose a turn: these professors of pleasure knew too well, to stale the impressions of it, or evaporate the imagination in words, before the time of action. ”

“ Mr. H..., who had watched, perhaps brought on this change, knew too well not to seize it: he thrust the table imperceptibly from between us, and bringing his chair to face me, he soon began, after preparing me by all the endearments of assurance and protestations, to lay hold of my hands, to kiss me, and once more to make free with my bosom, which, being at full liberty from the disorder of a loose dishabile, now panted and throbbed, less with indignation than with fear and bashfulness, at being used so familiarly by still a stranger. ”

“ My breasts, if it is not too bold a figure to call so, two hard, firm, rising hillocks, that just began to shew themselves, or signify any thing to the touch, employ'd and amus'd her hands a while, till slipping down lower, over a smooth track, she could just feel the soft silky down that had but a few months before put forth, and garnish'd the mount-pleasant of those parts, and promised to spread a grateful shelter over the seat of the most exquisite sensation, and which had been, till that instant, the seat of the most insensible innocence. ”

“ Had any one, but a few instants before, told me that I should have ever known any man but Charles, I would have spit in his face, or had I been offer'd infinitely a greater sum of money than that I saw paid for me, I had spurn'd the proposal in cold blood: but our virtues and our vices depend too much on our circumstances; unexpectedly beset as I was, betray'd by a mind weakned by a long severe affliction, and stunn'd with the terrors of a gaol, my defeat will appear the more excusable, since I certainly was not present at, or a party in any sense, to it. ”

“ It is too much. I die. I am going,” were Polly’s expressions of extasy: his joys were more silent: but soon broken murmurs, sighs heart-fetched, and at length a dispatching thrust, as if he would have forced himself up her body, and then the motionless languor of all his limbs, all shewed that the die-away moment was come upon him; which she gave signs of joining with by, the wild throwing of her hands about, closing her eyes, and giving a deep sob, in which she seemed to expire in an agony of bliss. ”

“ Cole, being rang for by him, came in, and was made acquainted in terms of the utmost joy and rapture, with his triumphant certainty of my virtue, and the finishing stroke he had given it, in the course of the night; of which he added, she would see proof enough, in bloody characters, on the sheets.
You may guess how a woman of her turn of address and experience, humour'd the jest, and play'd him off with mix'd exclamations of shame, anger, compassion for me, and of her being pleas'd that all was so well over ”

“ But it was too late: the storm was up, and force was on her to give way to it; for now the man-machine, strongly worked upon by the sensual passion, felt so manfully his advantages and superiority, felt withal the sting of pleasure so intolerable, that maddening with it, his joys began to assume a character of furiousness, which made me tremble for the too tender Louisa. He seemed, at this juncture, greater than himself; his countenance, before so void of meaning, or expression, now grew big with the importance of the act he was upon. ”

“ At length supper was served in, before which Charles had, for I do not know what reason, slipt his cloaths on, and sitting down by the bed-side, we made table and table-cloath of the bed and sheets, whilst he suffer'd nobody to attend or serve but himself. He ate with a very good appetite, and seem'd charm'd to see me eat. For my part, I was so enchanted with my fortune, so transported with the comparison of the delights I now swarm in, with all the insipidity of my past scenes of life, that I thought them sufficiently cheap at even the price of my ruin, or the risque of their not lasting. ”

“ Before either of us undressed, however, he put out the candle; and the bitterness of the weather made it a kind of necessity for me to go into bed: slipping then my clothes off, I crept under the bedclothes, where I found the young stripling already nestled, and the touch of his warm flesh rather pleased than alarmed me. I was indeed too much disturbed with the novelty of my condition to be able to sleep; but then I had not the least thought of harm. But oh! how powerful are the instincts of nature! how little is there wanting to set them in action! ”

“ But when proceeding on the foot of having broke the ice, to join discourse, he went into other leading questions, I put so much innocence, simplicity, and even childishness, into my answers, that on no better foundation, liking my person as he did, I will answer for it, that he would have been sworn for my modesty. There is, in short, in the men, when once they are caught, by the eye especially, a fund of cullibility, that their lordly wisdom little dreams of, and in virtue of which the most sagacious of them are seen so often our dupes. ”

“ His body was finely formed, and of a most vigorous make, square shouldered, and broad chested: his face was not remarkable any way, but for a nose inclining to the Roman, eyes large, black, and sparkling, and a ruddiness in his cheeks that was the more a grace; for his complexion was of the brownest, not of that dusky dun colour which excludes, the idea of freshness, but of that clear, olive gloss, which glowing with life, dazzles perhaps less than fairness, and yet pleases more, when it pleases at all. His hair being too short to tie fell no lower than his neck, in short easy curls ”

“ Brown's discovering my purpose, of disappointments, misery, ruin, all vanish'd before this new-kindl'd flame. The seeing, the touching, the being, if but for a night, with this idol of my fond virgin-heart, appeared to me a happiness above the purchase of my liberty or life. He might use me ill! let him! he was the master! happy, too happy even to receive death at so dear a hand. ”

“ Her gallant began first, as she stood, to disengage, her breasts, and restore them to the liberty of nature, from the easy confinement of no more than a pair of jumps; but on their coming out to view, we thought a new light was added to the room, so superiourly shining was their whiteness; then they rose in so happy a swell as to compose her a well horned fullness of bosom, that had such an effect on the eye as to seem flash hardened into marble, of which it emulated the polished gloss, and far surpassed even the whitest, in the life and lustre of its colours, white weined with blue. ”

“ I was soon laid in bed, and scarce languish'd an instant for the darling partner of it, before he was undress'd and got between the sheets, with his arms clasp'd round me, giving and taking, with a gust inexpressible, a kiss of welcome, that my heart rising to my lips, stamp'd with its warmest-impression, concurring to my bliss, with that delicate and voluptuous emotion which Charles alone had the secret to excite, and which constitutes the very life, the essence of pleasure. ”

“ The fire of nature, that had so long lain dormant or concealed, began to break out, and made me feel my sex for the first time. He had now changed his posture, and swam prone on his belly, striking out with his legs and arms; finer modeled than which could not have been cast, whilst his floating locks played over a neck and shoulders whose whiteness they delightfully set off. Then the luxuriant swell of flesh that rose from the small of his back, and terminates its double cope at where the thighs are set off, perfectly dazzled one with its watery glistening gloss. ”

“ There then I lay down in my cloaths, and fell fast asleep, and had now enjoy'd by guess, about an hour's rest; when I was pleasingly disturb'd by my new and favourite gallant, who enquiring for me, was readily directed where to find me. Coming then into my chamber, and seeing me lie alone, with my face turn'd from the light towards the inside of the bed, he, without more ado, just slipp'd off his breeches, for the greater ease and enjoyment of the naked touch; and softly turning up my petticoat and shift behind, open'd himself the prospect of the back avenue to the genial seat of pleasure ”

“ I had now totally taken in love’s true arrow from the point up to the feather, in that part, where making no new wound, the lips or the original one of nature, which had owed its first breathing to this dear instrument, clung, as if sensible of gratitude, in eager suction round it, whilst all its inwards embraced it tenderly, with a warmth of gust, a compressive energy, that gave it, in its way, the heartiest welcome in nature; every fibre there gathering tight round it, and straining ambitiously to come in for its share of the blissful touch. ”

“ After some pause, he ask'd me, with a tone of voice mightily soften'd, whether I would make it up with him before the old lady returned, and all should be well; he would restore me his affections: at the same time offering to kiss me, and feel my breasts. But now my extreme aversion, my fears, my indignation, all acting upon me, gave me a spirit not natural to me, so that breaking loose from him, I ran to the bell, and rang it, before he was aware, with such violence and effect, as brought up the maid to know what was the matter, or whether the gentleman wanted any thing? ”

“ Oh then! the fiery touch of his lingers determines me, and my fears melting away before the glowing intolerable heat, my thighs disclose of themselves, and yield all liberty to his hand: and now, a favourable movement giving my petticoats a toss, the avenue lay too fair, too open to be missed. He is now upon me: I had placed myself with a jerk under him, as commodious and open as possible to his attempts, which were untoward enough, for his machine, meeting with no inlet, bore and battered stiffly against me in random pushes, now above, now below, now beside his point ”

“ But every thing must have an end. A motion made by this angelic youth, in the listlessness of going-off sleep, replac'd his shirt and cloaths in a posture that shut up that treasure from longer view.
I lay down then, and carrying my hands to that part of me, in which the objects just seen had begun to raise a mutiny, that prevail'd over the smart of them, my fingers now open'd themselves an easy passage; but long I had not time to consider the wide difference there, between the maid, and the now finish'd woman, before Charles wak'd, and turning towards me, kindly enquir'd how I had rested? ”

“ I felt about the bed as if I sought for something that I grasped in my waking dream, and not finding it, could have cried for vexation; every part of me plowing with simulated fires. At length, I resorted to the only present remedy, that of vain attempts at digitation, where the smallness of the theatre did not yet afford room enough for action, and where the pain my fingers gave me, in striving for admission, though they procured me a slight satisfaction for the present, started an apprehension which I could not be easy till I had communicated to Phœbe and received her explanations upon it. ”

“ The first that stood up, to open the ball, were a cornet of horse and that sweetest of olive-beauties, the soft and amorous Louisa. He led her to the couch, "nothing loth," on which he gave her the fall; and extended her at her length with an air of roughness and vigour, relishing high of amourous eagerness and impatience. The girl spreading herself to the best advantage, with her head upon the pillow, was so concenter'd in what she was about, that our presence seem'd the least of her care or concern. ”

“ I now stood before my judges in all the truth of nature, to whom I could not appear a very disagreeable figure, if you please to recollect what I have beforesaid of my person, which time, that at certain periods of life robs use every instant of our charms, had, at that of mine, then greatly improved into full and open, bloom, for I wanted some months of eighteen. My breasts, which in the state of nudity are ever capital points, now in no more than in graceful plenitude, maintained a firmness and steady independence of any stay or support, that dared and invited the test of the touch. ”

“ But, ah! what became of me, when, as the powers of solid pleasure thickened upon me, I could not help feeling the stiff stake that had been adorned with the trophies of my despoiled virginity, bearing hard and inflexible against one of my thighs, which I had not yet opened, from a true principle of modesty, revived by a passion too sincere to suffer any aiming at the false merit of difficulty, or my putting on an impertinent mock-coyness.
I have, I believe, somewhere before remark'd, that the feel of that favourite piece of manhood has, in the very nature of it, something inimitably pathetic. ”

“ His basket was dropt out of his hands, which Louisa took care of.
I had now, through more than one rent, discovered and felt his thighs, the skin of which seemed the smoother and fairer for the coarseness, and even the dirt of his dress, as the teeth of negroes seem the whiter for the surrounded black; and poor indeed of habit, poor of understanding, he was, however, abundantly rich in personal treasures, such as flesh, firm, plump, and replete with the juices of youth, and robust well-knit limbs. ”

“ Easily then reading in my eyes the full permission of myself to all his wishes, he scarce pleas'd himself more than me, when having insinuated his hand under my petticoat and shift, he presently remov'd those bars to the sight, by slily lifting them upwards, under favour of a thousand kisses, which he thought, perhaps, necessary to divert my attention to what he was about. All my drapery being now roll'd up to my waist, I threw myself into such a posture upon the couch, as gave up to him, in full view, the whole region of delight, and all the luxurious landscape round it. ”

“ My education, till past fourteen, was no better than very vulgar: reading, or rather spelling, an illegible scrawl, and a little ordinary plain work, composed the whole system of it; and then all my foundation in virtue was no other than a total ignorance of vice, and the shy timidity general to our sex, in the tender age of life, when objects alarm or frighten more by their novelty than anything else. But then, this is a fear too often cured at the expense of innocence, when Miss, by degrees, begins no longer to look on a man as a creature of prey that will eat her. ”

“ The care of dressing, and tricking me out for the market, was then left to Phœbe, who acquitted herself, if not well, at least perfectly to the satisfaction of every thing but my impatience of seeing myself dress'd. When it was over, and I view'd myself in the glass, I was, no doubt, too natural, too artless, to hide my childish joy at the change; a change in the real truth, for much the worse, since I must have much better become the neat easy simplicity of my rustic dress, than the awkward, untoward, taudry finery, that I could not conceal my strangeness to. ”

“ Cole herself, and introduced into her bedchamber, where, in an old-fashioned bed of her’s, I lay, fully undressed, and panting, if not with the fears of a real maid, at least with those perhaps greater of a dissembled one which gave me an air of confusion and bashfulness that maiden-modesty had all the honour of, and was indeed scarce distinguishable from it, even by less partial eyes than those of my lover: so let me call him, for I ever thought the term “cully” too cruel a reproach to the men, for their abused weakness for us. ”

“ As I kept hesitating, and disconcerted under this soft distraction, Charles, with a fond impatience, took the pains to undress me, and all I can remember, amidst the flutter and discomposure of my senses, was, some fluttering exclamations of joy and admiration, more especially at the feel of my breasts now set at liberty from my stays, and which panting and rising in tumultuous throbs, swell'd upon his dear touch, and gave it the welcome pleasure of finding them well-form'd, and unfail'd in firmness. ”

“ A spreading thicket of bushy curls marked the full grown, complete woman. Then the cavity to which she guided my hand easily received it; and as soon as she felt it within her, she moved herself to and fro, with so rapid a friction, that I presently withdrew it, wet and clammy, when instantly Phœbe grew more composed, after two or three sighs, and heart-fetched Oh’s! and giving me a kiss that seemed to exhale her soul through her lips, she replaced the bed-clothes over us. ”

“ As soon as he was gone, I felt the usual consequence of the first launch into vice; (for my love attachment to Charles never appear'd to me in that light) . I was instantly born away down the stream, without the power of making back to the shore. My dreadful necessities, my gratitude, and above all, to say the plain truth, the dissipation, and diversion I began to find in this new acquaintance, from the black corroding thoughts my heart had been a prey to, ever since the absence of my dear Charles, concurr'd to stun all contrary reflections. ”

“ Now, whether my partner had exhausted all the modes of regaling the touch or sight, or whether he was now ungovernably wound up to strike, I know not; but briskly throwing off his clothes, the prodigious heat bred by a close room, a great fire, numerous candles, and even the inflammatory warmth of these scenes, induced him to lay aside his shirt too, when his breeches, before loosened, now gave up their contents to view, and shew’d in front the enemy I had to engage with, stiffly bearing up the port of its head unhooded, and glowing red. ”

“ I was sitting up in the bed, the cloaths of which were all tost, or roll'd off, by the unquietness of our motions, from the sultry heat of the weather; nor could I refuse myself a pleasure that solicited me so irresistibly, as this fair occasion of feasting my sight with all those treasures of youthful beauty I had enjoy'd, and which lay now almost entirely naked, his shirt being trust up in a perfect wisp, which the warmth of the room and season made me easy about the consequence of. ”