Various

“ And the Bubblyjock at Stamboul was found acting with the Bear,
From rather mingled motives, which that fowl did not declare.
Well, the Bulgar boy persisting still in making his own game,
The Bear assumes a sternness it is difficult to blame,
From the Bruin point of view, at least, for strength must be put forth
Now and then, e'en by a (so-called) Divine Figure from the North.
And so Bruin rears his carcase, and his sanctimonious "mug,"
Takes a menacing expression, "Come," he cries, "into my hug,
And be happy, naughty Bulgar boy; what can you have to fear?" ”

“ Thus, and thus only, should Irish martyrs be allowed to suffer for Ireland's wrongs, and in this way alone will the Irish people in their thousands consent even to the momentary incarceration of the heralds of that mighty struggle with a tyrannic despotism that they are heroically maintaining, backed by the hearty and enthusiastic support of an onlooking and applauding Universe, against the blind and blustering bullying of a blood-thirsty Government. ”

“ The married advocate has not only to consider his Judge and Jury, but also his wife, and nine times out of ten she combines in her own person the judicial functions with the power of the executive. Where all are good it seems invidious to particularise, but had I to call witnesses for the defence, I think I should choose Miss Susie Vaughan, and Messrs. Mervin, Caffrey and Prince Miller. Another great merit of The Barrister is that he is closely associated with the word "brief." He makes his appearance every evening at nine and has retired for the night before eleven. ”

“ If I write with moderation and temperately it is because I feel confidently that the trivial relaxations I propose must, if not at once conceded by, be forthwith instantly wrung from the thieves and scoundrels who at the present moment are responsible for the Executive of my patient and law-abiding country. ”

“ If it must rain, Homburg as good a place to be in as most public haunts; lies within narrow compass; soil rapidly absorbent; if it rains in torrents at ten o'clock, and sun afterwards comes out, roadways dry by noon. ”

“ Only disappointed gamesters who call the place Bad Homburgs; even with the rain, it is not so bad after all.
By the way, talking of nature of soil, a dog I met here drawing milk-cart, told me curious story. Homburg resorted to by invalids of both sexes and all conditions; take the waters inside and out; but my friend told me of another cure not less remarkable. Soil of Homburg composed of Fuller's-earth, warranted to absorb superfluous grease from cloth substances. ”

“ The Joanne Guides are so united a family, that as soon as any member of it establishes itself on a friendly footing with you, your hand is always in your pocket while you are travelling on that Guide Joanne's account. An insidious tribe: and they make themselves absolutely essential to the traveller's existence and comfort. ”

“ Sometimes, on wet afternoons, there is found in the lofty, and otherwise cool room, one or two elderly gentlemen, who play doleful game of écarté, poor shivering ghosts of departed gamesters. Gambling played out, but there remain the magnificent halls. ”

“ He is the most accomplished murderer on the modern stage, and really, if one were forced to die a violent death, Mr. Willard seems to be the individual one would naturally select to perform the necessary, but unpleasant, operation. It does not in [Pg 137] the least matter to an Olympic audience how he comes to be the proprietor of a low Thames-side tavern when he seems better qualified to lead a cotillon in quite a fashionable West-End Square. ”

“ End of third went off to sleep at noon after bath. Didn't wake till six next morning, just in time to dress and down to Elizabeth Well with the rest. Found this much better arrangement. So now go to bed about nine in the afternoon; get up at 6.30 in dead of night. Arrived at Well, take glass of water, then march up and down for fifteen minutes by Homburg clock. Another glass and another fifteen minutes; a third glass, and hour's walk; after which allowed to totter home, and breakfast. Amount of things you are not to eat and drink amazing; some of them never tasted in my life ”

“ Willard is so good that no one pays particular attention to the efforts to please of his fellow-actors and actresses.
A Shooting Party in September.
The scenery of the Pointsman is sufficiently ingenious to satisfy the cravings for sensation of a typical British audience. The Railway collision worked as a sort of transformation scene,—the interior of a signal-box changes into the site of a fatal accident—creates much enthusiasm, but the winsome if vindictive Willard still remains the centre of attraction. ”

“ Fortunately the brain, though not tall, is wide. He has Firmness, Energy, and what we call Driving Power, very large. This is a very curious gentleman"— ("Oughter be stuffed!" puts in a ruffian, and everybody laughs—even the Professor—confound him!—smiles indulgently.) "He likes to go everywhere, and see everything. He can sit down to a good dinner, and enjoy it." (Shouldn't have thought that a rare characteristic—but it delights the audience.) "His Self-Esteem is large." ”

“ Heed the things which you see and the things you now hear
(That's English, you know; quite English, you know) .
Economy, Order, and Justice sans fear!
(They're English; quite English, you know!)
The Soldier and Citizen then will agree,
(That's English, you know; quite English, you know,)
The Press and the Priesthood alike will be free
(That's English, you know; quite English, you know) .
Then will France to her ancient pre-eminence rise;
The German will watch her with reverent eyes;
All the Powers rush forward to be her allies
(That's French, you know; very French, you know) . ”

“ He has been egging on the dupes and fools who have listened to him to commit acts that, if the Executive were a trifle stronger, would soon crowd every gaol in the country to the roof, and now he has got a taste of the same medicine himself. ”

“ I need scarcely add that we shall in future pay for all our imports in gold, and send away our superabundant pauper population, native and foreign, each with about one hundred golden sovereigns in his capacious pockets, the cost price of which being about two shillings.
Of course the one thing to do before the great scheme is finally settled by Messrs. Rothschild and Baring, will be to get largely into debt at the present price of gold, and pay it off at the price of the future, and so, as Robinson says, spoil the Israelites ”

“ As a "Baigneur de Royat" puts it, in a local journal, the Compagnie Brocard cannot consider their stuffy little room ("le petit étouffoir") where theatrical performances are given as a real theatre. It is a pity that M. Samie and La Compagnie Brocard cannot, like the "birds in their little nests," agree. But as to Theatres and spectacles, my rule at Royat, or at any other Water-cure place, would be this:—
"Any baigneur found out of his hotel or lodgings after 10'15, p.m., shall be arrested, conducted back to his hotel, his number taken, and for the second offence he shall be fined. ”

“ Well we attract, and carry off harmlessly—it doesn't hurt us you see—the accumulated political electricity, which otherwise might rend and rive the State about which these Angry Amateurs are so passionately anxious. ”

“ Railway journey hither, by Brussels and Coblenz, pretty fair for le Continong, but not a patch on the L. C. D. Express from Victoria Station to Dover. They manage some things better abroad; certainly not express trains or express boats. ”

“ If a company wanted to play a piece in four Acts, they must stop here two days; and, if they couldn't do that, then they must begin their performance in the afternoon, have one entr'acte of an hour and a half to allow for dinner, and recommence at eight o'clock. I would discourage all evening indoor entertainments. ”

“ Nobody knows exactly how many teams of slogging politicians are also going for their holiday campaign—"on the stump," all over the Kingdom. Mr. Punch wishes the two lots of willow-wielders, led respectively by Mr. Vernon and Arthur Shrewsbury, a far merrier time and much better "scores" than he fears will fall to the lot of the peripatetic Parliamentarians.
The Home Rule Cure.—Mrs. M. understands that the only remedy possible for Irish complaints is Antimony. ”