Various

“ The Count and his followers are evidently a little taken aback—an abduction not quite so simple an affair as they expected. While they are working themselves up to it, Manrico appears, as the stage-direction says, "like a phantom." In a helmet, with a horsehair tail, and a large white cloak, he does look extremely like the Ghost in Hamlet, and which is, perhaps, why the Count, under the impression that he is an apparition from some other Opera, allows him to Walk off with Leonora under his very nose. Swords are drawn—with the usual result of bringing down the Curtain. ”

“ For we had been walking up late partridges most of the morning, with just an occasional shot here and there at pheasants in covert. Now, late partridges are perhaps the least amenable of created things. They cherish a perfectly ridiculous conviction that nature, in endowing them with life, intended that they should preserve it, and consequently they hold it to be their one aim and object to fly, whirring and cheeping, out of sight, long before even an enthusiastic shot could have a chance of proving to them how beautifully a bird can be missed. ”

“ And we're all of us taxed to keep a chap like that in comfort. Why you're paid to be shot at—that's what you're there for, you and your thin red line, and all that. By Jupiter! we don't get our money's worth out of you if you're going to cut and run before a poor, weak, harmless woodcock. ”

“ MR. PUNCH, SIR,
I am indignant—disgusted! I went last night to see a new piece, called The Guardsman, at the Court Theatre, the plot of which, reminded me—'tis merely a coincidence—of Incognita, now going strong in St. Martin's Lane. The coincident being that a certain young man won't marry an uncertain young lady whom they want him to marry, because he is in love with quite another young lady (as he thinks) who (the incognita) turns out to be the very lady whom he is required to wed. ”

“ If he was seen it follows, as the day follows the night, (1) , that everybody shot at him at the most fantastic distances without regard to the lives and limbs of the rest of the party; (2) , that (in most cases) everybody missed him; (3) , that everybody, though having, according to his own version, been especially careful himself, has been placed in imminent peril by the recklessness of the rest; (4) , that everybody threw himself flat on his face to avoid death; and (5) , that the woodcock is not really a bird at all, but a devil. ”

“ The following is suggested as an example of Woodcock-dialogue, the scene being laid at lunch:—
First Sportsman (pausing in his attack on a plateful of curried rabbit) . By Jupiter! that was a smartish woodcock. I never saw the beggar till he all but flew into my face, and then away he went, like a streak of greased lightning. I let him have both barrels; but I might as well have shot at a gnat. ”

“ Operatic confidant sympathetic—but a more modern heroine might find one "get on her nerves," perhaps. Manrico a very robust type of Troubadour—but oughtn't a Troubadour to carry about a guitar, or a lute, or something? If Manrico has one, he invariably leaves it outside. Probably doesn't see why, with so many competent musicians in the orchestra, he should take the trouble of playing his own accompaniments. ”

“ A deep fall of snow has occurred, and Council's men refuse to clear it away, or let others do the work! In addition, Strand tradesmen come in body to Spring Gardens to say that "nobody can get near their shops, and they are being rapidly ruined." Hastily-convened meeting of the Council. Proposal to ask our old Contractor to rebuild Strand and clear snow away. Our old Contractor declines to tender for the job! He says, "Council has abolished the Middleman, and had better get on without him, if it can!" ”

“ A cool-headed, sensible confidant, for instance, would have taken care that the bargain with the Conte di Luna was conceived and carried out in a more business-like spirit.
"Now do be careful," she would have said. "Make sure that the Count keeps his word before you break yours. ”

“ Friday.—Council heroically decides to do the work itself. Am told off by Chairman to help remove old bricks on the Strand site. Have first to dig snow away to get at bricks. Intense amusement of hostile crowd, from whom we are protected by a cordon of police. Bark my shins badly against wheel of cart. Chairman—who has been extremely energetic in running up and down a ladder with a hod of mortar over his shoulder, which he thinks is bricklaying—falls from ladder and is taken off to Charing Cross Hospital ”

“ ACT IV. SCENE 1.—Leonora listening outside the tower in which Manrico is being tortured, after having been taken prisoner in a combat during the entr'acte. Here a confidant might have comforted her considerably by representing that they couldn't be torturing the poor Troubadour so very seriously so long as he is able to take part in a duet—but unfortunately Leonora seems to have discharged the confidant after the Second Act—an error of judgment on her part, for she is certainly incapable of taking care of herself. ”

“ At all events, he does not find his parent a cheerful companion, and, as soon as he finds a decent excuse for escape, takes it.
SCENE 2.—The Cloisters of a Convent. Enter the Conte di Luna, with followers, to abduct Leonora. The followers range themselves against a wall in the background, until the Count has finished "Il Balen." If their opinion was asked, they would probably be in favour of his making rather less noise about it, if he really means business—but of course it is not their place to interfere. ”

“ When they find out, pelt him with snowballs. BURNS—who has stuck loyally to Council—fiercely denounced as a "blackleg" by crowd. Amusing at any other time. Home in evening dead tired, under police escort. Find all my front windows smashed! After all—was it wise to abolish the Contractor?
Saturday.—Whole County Council, protected by several regiments from Aldershot, a park of Artillery, and all the City Police (Council's own Police being out on strike, in sympathy with bricklayers) , manage with great difficulty to fill ten carts with rubbish, and then adjourn to Spring Gardens. ”

“ The Council's Clerk of the Works, who superintends the fifty thousand builders, bricklayers, &c., who are now employed directly by us, reports that, unless the concessions demanded by the men are granted, they will all go out on strike to-morrow. ”

“ JEWITT's best will take some beating, when we know which it is, which we shall do shortly, as no stable is more ready than this to let everyone into the secret of their "good things;", so if some Whisperer, should tell you that his Suspender is broken, it is on the cards that the Pensioner may still be able to walk home in safety! ”

“ Sir JOHN LUBBOCK humorously suggests that it is, at any rate, better than the "muddle-man" system which we have tried and found wanting. Bonus of £5,000 out of rates, enthusiastically voted to any Contractor who will tender for job of clearing snow and widening Strand.
Later.—High Court disallows our "precept" for the £5,000 bonus—says we must pay it out of our own pockets!
Wish I had never stood for London County Council!
[pg 196]
ROBERT'S COMPANIONS. No. 2.
Another of our speshal lot is good old SAM, with his wunderfool memmery. He won't tell not nobody his age. ”

“ His fame as a victorious General will never fade, and although his private life may have been uninteresting, his connection with the noble family of DE SCROGGYNS will for ever gain for him the respect of his fellow-countrymen. ”

“ For what can be a creweller life for a poor Waiter to lead, than to be constantly surrounded by harf emty bottels of most bewtifool Wines, of all kinds, so as to suit the most fastidgeous Waiter's taste, and not ellowd to taste ewen one glass of 'em! I thinks as I've heard of sum unfortnit hindiwidial, in holden times, as used to be seated down hevrey day to a werry scrumpshus dinner, but, whatever he fixt his mind upon, the Doctor woudn't allow him to taste it, not by no means. ”